Work Text:
This was a stupid idea.
Which is why it definitely wasn’t your idea.
Never in a million years would you have the confidence to come up with something as juvenile as this.
Given the circumstances, you wouldn’t be as nervous if you were going to do anything else but ask him this. You hesitantly knocked on the door, shaking and sweaty palms to dark plywood.
Your heartbeats matched the creaking of floorboards behind the hatch, their sound so terrifyingly loud it felt as if a deaf man could hear them. The creak of the door as he opened it was enough to kill, your breath hitching as you saw his lanky figure under baggy clothes, hands in pockets, his motionless but beautiful face, his uncombed evening hair. Inumaki Toge. In front of you. In his dorm. In front of you. He wasn’t wearing his uniform, but black basketball shorts and a white tank top so every part of his face was visible to you, and you had never seen someone so lovely as he. Neither of you said a word as you stood there, (e/c) eyes meeting brown eyes. He cocked his brow, awaiting your voice that felt so small in his presence, given how short he was. “Hold on,” you croaked as he turned his shoulders away from you, your eyes meeting the floorboards beneath you. This was all Maki and Panda’s fault. They urged you to do this, they urged you to knock on his door. Almost like a stupid middle schooler’s game of confessing to their crush in the most unseemingly way ever. But yet, this was the closest you’ve ever been to this boy, and you couldn’t lose this opportunity. You were in it too deep, you had to go through with it. Not a coward, you told yourself. Not a coward, not a coward, not a coward-
“Takana?”
Damnit. His voice caught you by surprise, breathy and quiet. The corners of your lips tugged into a smile that you did your best to hide. How long have you been standing here? Maybe you were a coward, his questioning face eyeing your rigid position. You hated how he stared you down, your dark jeans and stiff knees up to white knuckles that gripped your elbows where you wore your (f/c) sweatshirt, your pursed lips under your averted gaze. You hated how nervous he made you feel and you hated how every time someone mentioned his name you had to check and see what they were talking about. You hated how every time you walked you always wanted to see if he was near you. You hated how your training fell short when he was around. You hated every bit of bile that rose in your throat when the butterflies rattled and banged against your stomach.
He began to turn away once more, your panic rising. What the hell were Maki and Panda thinking, letting you do this? You turned and quickly scowled at the two, who were hiding behind a corner. You snapped your head back and leaned forward towards the shutting door. “Do you want- Uh-”
He stopped and turned his shoulders towards you once again. He definitely felt as awkward as you did. You looked up, avoiding eye contact, instead staring into his facial features. His nose, his cheeks, his ears, hell, his lips. “Do you wanna, er, do you- ah-” you stammered, voice small, heart beating so agonizingly fast it was exhausting. “Do you want to go with me, like outside, to look at the stars?”
You nearly vomited when the words came out of your mouth. They sounded so gross to say. Especially to him. Even if you wanted nothing more than only a minute in the world just to him, it still felt so wrong to say. Inumaki's mouth twisted into an arch, his cheeks peppered with pink and red, Eyes suddenly widened. He looked to his side, rubbing the back of his nape, his face growing an ever deepening red color. Every unspoken, silent second wrenched against your buckling knees, your nauseous stomach. You bit the inside of your lip, harder and harder until the agony of your teeth against flesh was too much. Why was he taking so long?
“Shake.”
Your heart stopped at his sudden response, barely hearing his voice under his discolored face that looked down at the floorboards. You stood there, dumbfounded, waiting for your brain to process what it had just said. Your chest exploded, grinning wildly. What did he say? It took your fingers to pinch the flesh of your other arm, still gripping onto your elbow to put your mind back into place, wincing at the abrupt shot of pain. Suddenly flushed, you realized what he was wearing. “Oh! Do you need to change? I’m so sorry! I’ll wait for you out here.”
The boy nodded, closing the door behind him. Once you heard the click of the lock, every bit back expression, every emotion began pouring out at once. You whirled around and started gesturing wildly towards Maki and Panda, who both had proud expressions replying to your triumphant grin.
Standing next to his door, you rocked back and forth on your heels, waiting for the white haired boy to come back out. You made music with your lips, growing ever nervous by the second. What the hell were you thinking?! Now you were gonna take him outside? Where, even? Panda and Maki had disappeared from their hideout spot, and you had secretly hoped they wouldn't, knowing damn well how embarrassing that would have been to explain why his classmates were stalking the two of you.
The dark door finally opened, your heart lurching in its cave. You spun around to meet the boy, caught speechless in his presence. He had put on a pair of sage green-ish cargo pants where his shorts once were, as well a dark gray hoodie he had thrown over his tank top. His eyes dodged yours to the side, his cheeks flecked in color as he shifted his weight from side to side. The silence dragged on, and you knew you had to say something. "You- You look really good!" you mumbled. What the fuck were you thinking? Inumaki shrugged his shoulders to his face. "Shake," he murmured back. You cursed yourself out internally, your voice still stuck in your throat. You stepped away from him, and finally pushed the words out. "Come with me."
You trailed around the dorms with the boy meandering behind you, sneaking out through the doors. The moon outside above shimmered brightly in its 1st quarter, grazing its beauty on the two of you. Inumaki wandered up to you, gazing at your captivated eyes, your rosy cheeks, your smiling lips. He couldn't help but stare at your glowing features, radiated by moonlight. His breath stopped for a moment when you tuned to meet his stare, but he swiftly broke it. You trudged on, pulling your phone out of your back pocket and turning the flashlight on. You barked for his attention and the two of you ventured out into the brush.
The two of you hiked out until you reached a clearing in the woods, and made sure not to venture too far away from Jujutsu Tech. Away from the city and lights, the stars twinkled brighter than any of you had seen, earning a gasp from your lips. You jogged forward, turning off your phone flashlight and pocketing it, dancing in the grass as if invisible music took over your muscles and made you giggle helplessly. The royal empyrean above watched over the both of you, shining down in all of its glory. A slight breeze brushed against your body, the grasses and dandelions waltzing with you. You took a moment to look back at Inumaki, the boy behind you, the boy you dragged here all this way, the boy you were in love with. His eyes reflected the beauty of the sky above, taking your breath away once again. Silent yet deafening tunes dragged your legs on and you walked over to him, taking his attention from the sky into your soul, which was shining just as brightly.
"Inumaki," you started, realizing what you were gonna say. But the stars above, the flowers below, they beckoned you towards him, sashaying around you in a windy circle. All movement came to a rapid stop, all wind silenced as you took a deep breath in.
"I really, really like you, Inumaki."
Emotions drowned you in a tsunami. You confessed to him, just like that? How easy was that? What confidence took over your body and soul and urged you to say that? Inumaki's eyes became the size of the moon itself, his cheeks blooming with all the different colors of love, mouth agape and stuck in a gasp, arms slightly up in a defensive position. His silence was like a dagger to your heart. You knew he couldn't say anything back. Your heart thumped and raced, just as it had before, but your eyes and mouth reflected a relieved yet saddened look. What could he say? Your cursed by silence universe stood before you under the constellations above, and yet you wished and wished he could just once in his life say it back. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you did your best to blink them away. Every emotion came like a whirlpool, every bit of sadness and regret, every bit of happiness and yearning. It came too fast, and your throat choked out a quiet sob.
A sudden cold touch came into contact with your hand. You opened your eyes through the wetness of the salty tears and saw his hand on yours, holding it up to his cheek, that same relieved yet sad demeanor plastered on his face, his smile quivering . The only time he had ever smiled before you. That was all you needed from him to know. He didn't have to say it back. You both already knew. Every other missing detail would be figured out, soon, in time. But for now, you watched each other's eyes, silently saying it over and over, again and again, until every mute breath was used up.