Archive of Our Own ^beta

How did he even end up here? The events in the past twenty-four hours were so hazy yet burned into his memory simultaneously. Flashes that wouldn’t stop repeating no matter how much he begged them to stop. Katsuki was gone, and nothing was ever going to bring him back.

Eijiro’s hands were shaking so hard when he reached Katsuki’s apartment that he could barely manage to put the key in the lock. It took all his willpower not to slide against the wall and sob. He was surprised that he still had tears to shed. When the lock finally released, Eijiro rushed inside and slammed the door shut, his legs finally giving out as he fell against the door. A muffled sob escaped from his throat as Eijiro clamped a hand over his mouth; the last thing he wanted to do was disturb Katsuki’s neighbors. Do they even know what happened? Or are they going to turn on the morning news and see the news coverage? Eijiro knew it was going to be on every channel tomorrow. He could already see the headline scrolling along the bottom of the screen:

Eijiro wiped at his eyes and scanned the dark apartment. It was just as Katsuki left it when Eijiro stopped by this morning. The lone bowl was still sitting on the counter, forgotten when the pair rushed out of the place, their phones alerting them to the same mission. Katsuki hated leaving dirty dishes out. He could see Katsuki coming back home, exhausted, and scowling as soon as his eyes landed on the discarded bowl, marching over and angrily washing it before storing it back in its cupboard. The fantasy was so vivid in Eijiro’s mind that it damaged him twice as hard when reality set in.

A small thump made Eijiro jump, and his eyes frantically searched for the noise. Suddenly two glowing yellow eyes peered back at him. Eijiro sighed in disgust and stood up, punching the light switch on. A scrawny black cat stared back at him, her ears flat against her head.

“Kuro Neko,” Eijiro sneered. Kuro Neko was the worst cat Eijiro had ever met.

Katsuki found her two years ago while patrolling. At first, he would leave found near her dumpster then continue on his way, but one day, she scampered out of her hiding place and climbed up Katsuki’s body until she was perched on his shoulder. When Katsuki tried to introduce her to anyone else, she would run away or scratch at you. Eijiro still had the scars raked across his hand. It truly was the perfect animal for Katsuki, and Eijiro hated her.

“Go away. You’re not wanted!”

Kuro Neko ignored him and continued to stare. Eijiro stared right back. She lowered herself, then pounced, grabbed Eijiro’s hand with her paws, bitting at his fingers, her back legs kicking at Eijiro’s forearm.

“OW, GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” Eijiro roared, pulling his hand back. Kuro Neko held on longer and then let go, scurrying away. “God, you’re the worst fucking cat ever,” Eijiro shouted after her. “It’s a miracle, Katsuki-” His words caught in his throat at the mention of Katsuki’s name. It turned his stomach, and Eijiro fought the urge to vomit. Instead, he sank back to the floor and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes, desperately trying to relieve the pressure.

“Kats, I’m- I’m so sorry,” He choked, the tears pooling in his eyes again. Eijiro hastily wiped them away and buried his head into his knees, hugging them tightly as if that would block out the world and what had happened. Kuro Neko meowed softly, and when Eijiro looked up, he saw her sitting about a foot away from him, her tail moving back and forth. She meowed again and then started to walk off. She stopped after a few feet and turned around. They both stared at each other, and she meowed, again and again, spinning in circles.

“Can you just shut up?” Eijiro asked, exasperated. She continued her cries and then took a few more steps. Eijiro huffed, then got up to follow her. Kuro Neko scampered down the hallway and stopped right in front of her food bowl, her cries continuing.

Guilt set in, hot and heavy. Of course, she would be starving. He usually would’ve been home by now to feed her. Eijiro choked back another sob and grabbed the can of food sitting on a nearby table.

I couldn’t care less about the price. She deserves the best because she is the best, only after me, of course.

The words made Eijiro smile as he tipped the rest of the food into Kuro Neko's bowl. Her howling stopped instantaneously as she scarfed down all of her food. Eijiro watched her and slowly extended his hand but pulled it back just as quickly. The last thing he needed was more scars.

Eijiro stood and left Kuro Neko's room. He stood in the hallway and looked at the apartment, adrift. Eijiro didn’t know what he was expecting, but he felt the apartment should look abandoned, but it was just as it always was. He took a few steps until he was face to face with Katsuki’s door. He’d never been allowed in there. No one was. The dorms were different; that was his only space, and even then, he rarely let people inside. The minute he signed the lease, his bedroom was under strict lock and key.

“Don’t you fucking dare Shitty Hair. I don’t need you messing up my room!” Katsuki said, not even turning away from the carrot he was cutting.

“I’m not even near it. How’d you know?” Eijiro asked, dumbfounded.

“Because you’re about as subtle as a tsunami, now get out!” He said, laughing while chucking a dish towel at him.

Eijiro deftly caught the towel and started laughing as well. “One day I’ll see it, that I promise you!”

Eijiro placed his hand on the knob and let his forehead rest against the door. “You’ll forgive me, right? I know this was like the one place I couldn’t go, but… I always keep my promises, remember?” Eijiro pulled back but still kept his hand on the knob. “You should be warning me to get away from that goddamn door! How did you know every single time? Please just start yelling. I won’t be mad! Please, Katsuki, just come back home!” The knob started to rattle due to Eijiro’s shaking. He inhaled slowly and turned the knob, surprised when the door began to open. Eijiro laughed humourlessly. Katsuki never left his door unlocked; it was like he somehow knew he wouldn’t be coming back to unlock it.

Eijiro stepped inside and flicked the light on. Katsuki’s room looked nearly identical to the one he had back in UA. A simple, black bed was pushed into one corner, its sheets neatly tucked in, a desk opposite it, and Eijiro saw some reports Katsuki must’ve been working on. Two massive bookcases stood on opposite walls, one near the foot of Katuki’s bed and the other next to the window, the one near the window was filled with an assortment of books while the other, mostly hidden by the door, was jam-packed with romance manga. Eijiro’s fingers lightly trailed across Katsuki’s collection, smiling that Katsuki was finally displaying them instead of keeping them in a box underneath his bed. A forest green velvet reading chair was on the other side of the window, partially faded due to all the sunlight. It was all so simple and all so Katsuki. Eijiro stood there, taking it all in when he heard a slight hiss from behind. Kuro Neko stood at the door and hissed again.

“I know, I know I’m not supposed to be in here…” He muttered. Kuro Neko meowed and walked towards Eijiro, weaving between his legs. Then, slowly, he leaned down and scratched behind her ear. She leaned into the touch for a moment, then ran off. “Come on. I thought we were making progress!” He shouted after her. Eijiro took one last glance at Katsuki’s room and then promptly shut the door behind him.

A sudden weight seemed to fall on his chest, and he stumbled back—the past twenty-four hours coming back in quick, painful flashes. “No,” He mumbled, pressing his palms to his eyes. “No,” He muttered again when this did nothing. Eijiro sank to the floor and tried to focus on his breathing, but the more he did, the less oxygen seemed to pass through his body. Finally, Eijiro leaned forward and placed his head between in knees. His eyes were still screwed shut. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He repeated repeatedly.

The brush of fur against his leg made his entire body jump. Kuro Neko stared at him, then butted her head against his thigh, demanding attention. “God, you’re insufferable,” Eijiro muttered, reluctantly petting her.

Once she got her fill, Kuro Neko walked off and began howling. Startled, Eijiro rose and followed the sound. Kuro Neko was pacing in front of the door, her howling never stopping. Eijiro watched her before the pieces finally clicked together.

“Oh…” Eijiro whispered to himself, stepping towards Kuro Neko. She stopped and meowed more softly, and Eijiro made his way toward her. When he was in arms reach of her, Eijiro scooped her up and held her, making sure she was still slightly away from him. Kuro Neko struggled a bit, but Eijiro didn’t let go, only pulling her closer when he judged that she wouldn’t bite him. “I’m so sorry, Kuro Neko, he’s- he’s-” Eijiro still couldn’t get the words out. A small part of him didn’t believe that it was real, this was all some sick twisted nightmare, and eventually, he’d wake up and have his best friend back.

Kuro Neko didn’t understand and meowed, struggling out of Eijiro’s grasp again. Eijiro walked over to Katuski’s couch and cradled Kuro Neko even closer. “It all happened so fast,” Eijiro explained as though she could understand what he was talking about.

“COME ON, WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!” Eijiro shouted, his eyes darting up to the ceiling. It would only hold for a few more minutes if they were lucky. “There’s no one left!”

Katsuki took a step and then paused, his body whipping back around. “There’s someone still there,” He muttered, more to himself than Eijiro.

Eijiro heard it too, but faintly. “Kats, they’re too far away. We’d never make it in time!” Eijiro warned. He hated the words but knew that it was true. Not everyone can be saved. Eijiro took a step forward and clamped his hand around Katsuki’s wrist.

“No, I can make it!” Katsuki urged, pulling away, but Eijiro kept a firm grip on Katsuki. “I have to try.”

“Don’t go!” Eijiro pleaded. His eyes flicked upwards again and widened when he was the ever-growing cracks. “Please don’t go!”

Katsuki smiled sadly. “I’ll be right back,” He said, and Eijiro was so focused on his words that he didn’t even notice Katsuki’s explosion until it was too late. Eijiro pulled back from surprise and pain, and Katsuki used that split second to dart toward the voice.

“KATSUKI!” Eijiro shouted. He tried to follow, but a support beam fell, and the ensuing rubble blocked his path. He looked for another way through, but it was pointless. There was no getting through without the entire building collapsing.

Eijiro backed away, still trying to look for Katsuki. Suddenly another much louder explosion sliced through the air, and Eijiro saw an opening through the rubble. Somebody was tossed through that opening, and Eijiro caught them, rushing out the building. He was mere feet away when it all came down; Eijiro kept running and blocked any rubble from hitting the bystander. Once they were far enough away, Eijiro set them on a stretcher and turned around.

“Katsuki?” He asked, his eyes scanning the crowd. The longer he looked, the more frantic he became. “Katsuki!” Eijiro screamed, pushing through the mass of bodies. This couldn’t be happening. Katsuki was right there Eijiro was sure of it. “KATSUKI!” Eijiro abruptly stopped when he heard a small crunch. He saw half of Katsuki’s mask, now shattered into a million tiny pieces.

“If I had taken a second just to check, he’d still be alive,” Eijiro sobbed. “I’m sorry,” He said.“I should’ve done more. I-” Eijiro stopped when Kuro Neko leaned forward and began licking his cheek. “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” He said, a small laugh burbling out of his throat. In response, she began purring. Eijiro pulled her into one final hug, kissing the top of her head. He was all but crushing Kuro Neko in his hug, but he couldn’t help it. Katsuki loved this goddamn cat so much that hugging her was the closest he’d ever get to hugging Katsuki ever again.