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Batman? Nay nay more like BatFAM, DCEU Kink Meme, Whumptober 2021
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Published:
2022-04-24
Completed:
2022-05-14
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3/3
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What are your intentions with him?

Summary:

"What are your intentions with Bruce?"

Clark nearly choked on his tea. He imagined the newspaper headlines Superman killed by tea and inappropriate questions from nine-year-olds.

He coughed into his fist, trying to have a modicum of demeanor, while blue eyes stared at him waiting for his response.

Dick Greyson was only nine years old, but Clark would have preferred to face an army of robots of Lex Luthor rather than be given the speech by a child.

A child fiercely protective of his guardian, and with every reason to be.

Clark glanced desperately at the cave entrance, hoping that Alfred or Bruce would save him.

Unfortunately, they were nowhere to be seen, and he was abandoned to his fate.

 

--------------

Where Dick and Jason are very protective of their weird dad, and Clark wasn't ready for their shovel talk. Why did nobody warn him that children could be so terrifying?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

 

 

 

 

 "What are your intentions with Bruce?"

 Clark nearly choked on his tea.  He imagined the newspaper headlines Superman killed by tea and inappropriate questions from nine-year-olds.

 

 He coughed his fist, trying to have a modicum of demeanor, while blue eyes stared at him waiting for his response.

 

 Dick Greyson was only nine years old, but Clark would have preferred to face an army of robots of Lex Luthor rather than be given the speech by a child.

 

 A child fiercely protective of his guardian, and with every reason to be.

 

 Clark glanced desperately at the cave entrance, hoping that Alfred or Bruce would save him.

 

 Unfortunately, they were nowhere to be seen, and he was abandoned to his fate.

Clark said, “I have no intentions with Bruce.  We are friends."

 

 Dick narrowed his eyes, “You tried to kill him.  I saw it, it was on TV. "

 

 “I wasn't in my right mind,” Clark replied, still feeling ashamed of the damage done while he was being mind-controlled by Lex Luthor.

 

 Fate had wanted Lex to think Bruce Wayne deserved a lesson for refusing to meet him (he wasn't special, Bruce avoided unnecessary human contact) and sent Superman to do the dirty work.

 

 In retrospect, it was a waste and a useless display of power, very typical of Lex.  He wanted the world to fear him, and he wanted to dominate the world with it.

 

 Bruce had stopped him, risking death in the process.  He wasn't surprised that Dick didn't trust Clark even though it had been months since it happened.  Dick was a traumatized child who had almost lost his family again.

 

 "You might try to do it again."

 

 "Bruce would know how to stop me."

 

 He hadn't denied it.  They lived in a crazy world, and as much as Clark wanted to believe he had more control over himself, he had to recognize that there were things out there that could make him wild again.

 

 Lex had shown it was possible.  How long will it take before someone tries to do the same?

 

 So he had told Bruce about kryptonite, and what to do to make him harmless.  He had revealed his secrets to him, and in, return the man had introduced Clark to his.

 

 It was there that he realized how similar they were, two broken men, albeit in different ways.

 

 He didn't know if they were friends, but he liked to think they were.  Or at least Clark was one of the few people Bruce tolerated.

 

 "Mhm," Dick made a disgruntled sound as if he didn't know if to believe him.

 

 "Will you never try to take advantage of him?"

 

 “Dick, no.  We are friends."

 

 Did he want something more?  He wasn't sure, and he wouldn't risk their nascent friendship for uncertain feelings.

 

 "You look at him like he's one of Alfred's pies," the kid remarked.

 

 Clark blushed, “No… I… I admire him!  He is smart and ... and courageous and ... "

 

 "It looks like a crush to me."

 

 " It isn't!"

 

 “You're stammering a lot.  You are embarrassed.  So you like Bruce. "

 

 The children's logic was twisted and Clark had no weapons to deal with it.  He sighed, "It's embarrassing to talk about these things with a child."

 

 " Why?"

 

 "Why ... because it is."

 

 Dick made a mischievous expression, "I think you find this embarrassing because I'm the child of the guy you like."

 

 "Dick ..."

 

 “Don't think you can start dating without Alfred's or mine's permission.  Dick continued, completely ignoring him.  - Although Bruce could take years to figure it out.  "

 

 "We won't ... we will never be ..."

 

 "But either way, hurt him, and I'll find a way to hurt you."

 

 Clark shivered.

 

 He had just had a shove talk from a little boy.  God, his life was strange.

 

 

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

 

 

 

 

 

 

 There was a little boy who was staring at Clark with deep blue eyes.  Usually, it wouldn't be strange, Clark had gotten used to Dick.

 But that child wasn't Dick, but Bruce's new son.  He didn't know all the details well, except that technically Batman had kidnapped him.  At that point, Clark wasn't even upset: if he could steal his baby clone from Cadmus labs, Bruce could kidnap/adopt a child from the street.

 "So you're the alien who wants to get into Bruce's pants," the child said bluntly.  Lois would have loved this kid.  And she probably would have tried to kill him too.  Too similar to get along without first an attempted murder or two.

 He sighed, "You shouldn't be saying these things at five ..."

 " I am seven!"  he protested.

 "You are still a child," Clark made the mistake of pointing him out.

 "So you think you can deceive me?"

 "No, of course not ..."

 The kid put his hands on his hips, puffing out his chest in a vain attempt to look bigger.  He couldn't, but he looked adorable.

 Even if adorable probably wasn't the effect he wanted to achieve.

 "Listen to me, Big Blue. I grew up in Crime Alley and I know how to use a crowbar. Try doing something weird to Bruce, and you'll regret it."

 Years ago, Dick had said something like that too.  The shovel talk from a child was an experience, Clark. admitted it.

 When he had told Lois about it, she had made fun of him

 Are you afraid of a child and not of Luthor, Smallville?

 Easy for her to talk about, she wasn't the one with deadly weakness that could have been used against her. 

 The difference was that at the time, Clark was in denial.  Now he recognized that the feelings he had for his friend were not platonic and far from innocent.

 "I won't touch Bruce ..."

 Unless he asks, the traitorous mind of the Kryptonian provided, along with images unsuitable for a minor audience.  He hoped the child wouldn't notice the redness.

 "Then stop thinking about how you want to fuck him! Geez, you are gross ..."

 "I ..."

 How was it that Clark always ended up being shamed by a child?  Was it his karmic punishment for all the heart attacks he had given his father as a child when he raised the tractor?  Wasn't that a little too much?

 "Master Jason.-Alfred, God bless him,  came limping in. -You should be in bed. Your fever hasn't passed."

 "I'm fine! I just wanted to meet Big Blue."

 "Now you have. Are you satisfied?"

 Jason looked at Clark, "Yeah, we're fine for now."

 "Good to know. Now, I'll take you back to bed."

 Jason took the butler's hand, but before leaving, he whispered, "I warned you, asshole."

 What a lovely child.  Bruce had a knack for finding them.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

 

 

"Damn bastard!"

"Master Jason, keep your voice down. You'll wake them up."

"I don't care! The alien has to get out of here!"

" Jason is right! He shouldn't be in the bed with Bruce!"


Urgh. Dick and Jason were both furious: it was a miracle that Jason hadn't taken a crowbar to give it to Clark's head.

To be honest, that wasn't how he was supposed to go.


Clark didn't remember falling asleep. He remembered the kisses- Bruce's kisses! -and the other man's slight threats, don't try to die again, I'll find a way to resurrect you and kill you myself.


Strange way to show concern.


However, if Clark had known that a near-death experience would be enough to confess feelings that had been hidden for years, he would have tried it first.

Though he would have avoided the part where a kryptonite spear nearly pierced his heart. Damn it, Lex. You are fucking extra. 


Clark and Bruce were both too tired to go beyond kissing, and Bruce hadn't wanted Clark's stitches to skip.

This proved fortunate when Bruce's family found them entangled in bed the next day.


Oops.


"I told you it was going to happen soon or later!" Jason growled, keeping his tone low so as not to wake Bruce.

"He was my hero! -Dick almost cried. - How could he do it?"

"Young masters, they are still dressed."

"So? Don't you see how the alien is holding on to Bruce?"

"Master Jason, I'd like to point out that Bruce is holding on to Master Clark too."

The child snorted, displeased with logic.

Clark would have wanted to defend himself, but it would have meant letting them know he was awake and he didn't want to break away from Bruce.

The man was a hot weight on his chest and Clark, at the risk of looking mushy, felt complete.

Dick asked, "So what do we do? Leave them like this?"


"Well, Master Bruce hasn't slept in three days. He needs to stay in bed."

"Ok, but not with him!" Jason protested.

The butler replied, "I'm afraid it would be impossible to detach him from Master Clark even with super force. I don't intend to wake him."

"But the alien..."

"I'm sure he will behave in an irreproachable manner- Alfred interrupted him, putting a lot of emphasis on the last part. -If not, I have a rifle and some kryptonite bullets."

"I like your style, Alfred."

"Will you let us shoot?"

 

The old man hummed a maybe, and Clark was very glad he hadn't woken up.