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Through the cold walls of the empty castle, clacking heels echoed. The steps were light, fast, decisive. But they were also tired. Sakura was tired of being lonely.
//
That morning was cold. Winter was closing in. Inside her shack, Chaewon shifted on the stiff bed trying to get back into sleep. But the sun barged into her house, leaving her with no option but to get up. She changed clothes, fixed her bed, checked on her small farm. Everything as it should be. How boring. After years of living alone, Chaewon figured independence wasn’t really that great. Or rather, being alone wasn’t.
Since there was nothing better to do, she hopped on her horse and went for a ride. As she passed by the trees, she remembered about the rumours. There was an abandoned castle nearby. And in some stories, it was a ghost, in others, a witch. Something lived there apparently. Not that Chaewon believed, of course.
However, she took the direction leading into the fable castle anyway. She needed to see with her own eyes. Not because she was scared. Not because she was trying to prove she was brave. But something far deeper than that. Chaewon wanted to be immortal. To live forever.
Through her years, she saw many people die. Of age. Of sickness. Of manmade destiny. Many things could end one’s life. And that was perhaps the one of the few things Chaewon was scared of. Her time could end before she could see everything that she wanted, before she could become her dreams. Before. Before. Before. She’d never know when a plague could hit again. So many of her friends lost their lives to the last one. She spent years in that shack. Running. She was done with it. Gripping tighter on the lead, she pushed the horse to run faster.
If there was really a witch there, even if there was a high price to pay, Chaewon would take her chances.
//
Upon arriving at the castle, Chaewon was disappointed. It was indeed abandoned. Windows broken. Cobwebs everywhere. Dusty air. Somehow the stone hadn’t crumbled through the moss. It was barely standing on its feet. Even the main door was open.
Chaewon found the wrecked stable and secured her horse to a corner where the roof wasn’t broken. The door was thrice taller than her, surely something for the royalty. Inside was just as mesmerizing. Through the dirty floor and dented furniture, there was a ghostly beauty to the place. The mark of a royal housing was still visible in the grim palace. The unlit chandelier looked like it was about to fall, but one could tell how well-crafted it was. The carvings in the staircase railings prevailed through time, telling the history of the heroes who once lived there. However, Chaewon found no paintings. She heard the royalty liked to have paintings of themselves.
Walking. Going up and up. Entering rooms. Jumping on beds. Picking up old books. Eventually, she stopped by a chamber full of books with a spacious writing table in the center, right in front of a huge window covered by ragged curtains. The room was the only place well kept inside the whole castle. The writing utensils were new. The books had no dust over them. Although the curtains were torn on their ends, they were clean. Cleaner than most, if not all, of the palace.
Chaewon sat by the writing table. She had never sat in such a comfortable chair before. Engulfing herself in the fluffiness of the chair, she looked around the desk. There was a piece of paper in the middle. However, whatever was written on it was unfinished. Because one of her distant relatives had a connection with a scrivener, she was taught how to read. Not that she had the most robust vocabulary.
She picked up the half-written letter.
In this day, I supplicate through my desperate prayers for an end. The same as the day before, and the same as the next. For this heart of mine has already been broken, and time cannot heal it. The pain of loss doesn’t leave as the summer days become wintery. I am still a human who yearns for warmth. Albeit I am no longer part of humanity and cannot receive such privilege. Therefore, I implore once more for the end. Even time itself is no longer my enemy, and I lost the ability to tell day apart from the night. My mind no longer rests. Numerous seasons have passed since the last time I slept. I still remember her
There was not even a period. The letter ended there. For some reason, Chaewon cried as she read. Perhaps because the sole reason she went after that castle was to fight against time. However, whoever wrote that seemed to have already experienced it. It didn’t seem like a great life. Chaewon had people she remembered too. And for that exact reason, she wished to defy nature. To become forever undying. To see the whole world change as she stayed the same. For a paltry peasant as herself, knowledge would be her greatest fortune. What she had always wished for. And before that snobby knight took her sister away, they were both going to pursue their dreams of becoming a scrivener. Now the least she could do was become one herself. But she was just a peasant. Knowing how to write and read wasn’t enough. But time could help her.
One thing she wasn’t ready to admit though, was that the biggest reason was fear. Fear she’d be the next one. Perhaps the knight would come back. And what could she do about it? Nothing. And that fear was bigger than the one of loneliness, which she knew she’d face eventually. But as a normal person, she was still locked in the present. And the worries that came with it.
Chaewon was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t notice the woman entering the chamber. The heels clicked and she stood right before the writing table, crossing her arms.
“May I know why you’re rummaging through my writings?” said the woman.
Chaewon whipped her head up. Then she quickly got up from the chair which slid backwards. However, the letter was still tight in her hands. The woman stared at her, flickering her gaze between Chaewon’s hands and eyes. Clacking her heels on the ground. Chaewon looked down to find the letter she was religiously holding and flinched. With a gasp and an uncomfortable chuckle, she put the paper down trying to position it in the exact place it was before she picked it up.
None of them moved. The woman cleared her throat and Chaewon stood still, frozen behind the table. Her heart throttled inside her chest. Her hands trembled. Was that… the thing? But how could Chaewon call her thing when she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen? The cat-like eyes irradiated sceptical charisma. Her short hair, darker than the night sky, shimmered upon the orange morning light. Her fair skin glowed. The rosy lips formed an ever so delicate pout. But her sharp jawline demanded respect with its cutting edge. All wrapped up with a man’s formal attire, that somehow looked nice on her despite her fragile appearance. Her aura was strong. Under the black velvet overcoat, white blouse, and a grey scarf, was a woman who knew she had the world in the palm of her hands. Chaewon’s knees trembled. How could such a pretty woman be so handsome?
The woman sighed. Letting her arms loose, she sat by the couch in the middle of the room and crossed her legs instead.
“I understand that many people of your village have made up stories about me,” she said.
Chaewon frowned. “Made up?”
“I am no witch miss. Much less a ghost. Those are nothing but superstition from the inventive human minds.”
Was that disappointment Chaewon felt when her back got heavier and the tight fist she had got loose? “I… see.”
“Were you looking for one of those things?” She twitched her eyebrow.
Even if the chances were faint and if she’d probably just make a fool out of herself in front of the handsome lady, Chaewon said it. She gulped down her pride and fear and said it.
“I wish to become immortal.”
For a moment, the lady stood staring deep into Chaewon’s eyes. Then she fell into laughter. As expected. Who would take her seriously after such an ridiculous wish? But Chaewon held her ground, indicating that her words weren’t merely talk – there was also conviction. Faith. Desire. Everything burning inside the caldron of her guts. Boiling hotter and hotter for everything second the woman laughed.
She got up the couch. “So you want to be immortal, miss. Is that it?”
As she walked closer to Chaewon, a freezing gust took over the room. It was like there were two gigantic rocks pressing against her, and she couldn’t move not even an inch. The woman closed in. More. More. When she stopped their lips were barely touching. The smirk she held fell into an empty expression. Her hollow eyes judged Chaewon as her cold breath brushed against her face.
“Do not speak of what you do not understand. The moment you become eternal… you begin to look for your end. If you’re mortal, the chase for immortality finishes at your grave. If you’re undying, your search for an end becomes as everlasting as yourself. Such a mistake cannot be undone, and you shouldn’t speak so lightly of such a serious matter, young lady.”
Breathe in. Breathe out. “I’m not taking it lightly. I know how serious it is, that’s my reason to come here. And I wouldn’t be so pathetic to regret such decision. I have no reason to look for an end.”
The woman chuckled and shook her head. “Trust me, even if you have no reason now, you’ll find one.”
“Then so be it!” Chaewon stomped her feet on the ground. “You have no idea of what I lost and what are my reasons to be here! You have no right to question my desire!”
The woman took a distance with a raised brow. “Your desire? Is it your true desire to become alone in this ever-changing world? To see the seasons pass as you stay the same?”
“It’s a small price to pay.”
A life where Chaewon would be free of her fears, there was nothing she wasn’t willing to sacrifice for it. And finally, the woman seemingly understood her seriousness. But her smile did not meet her eyes.
“A year,” she said raising her finger. “I’ll give you a year to think it over. If you’re indeed resolute about this decision, you’re welcome to stay at the castle. You’re free to go anywhere you please.” She cleared her throat. “But I’d rather have you not come to this chamber again.”
A year living inside an abandoned castle which is rumoured to be haunted. No big deal. Chaewon was ready to sign her name away to the stranger. But a single sentence created a doubt that was once inexistent in her thoughts.
“But there’s one condition.” The woman came close once again, picking up Chaewon’s chin. “If you truly want to become eternal, you’ll have to become mine.”
Even after the woman turned her back to Chaewon, the feeling of her hands lingered on her chin. The touch softer than silk embracing her skin. But the smirk painted on her lips and menace hidden under her glare revealed the thorns under the delicate flower.
As the woman walked away, she stopped by the doorframe. “My name is Miyawaki Sakura. Welcome to the Everlasting Palace, Ms Chaewon.”
//
A month passed since Chaewon moved into the abandoned castle. She hadn’t encountered Sakura much during that time. She presumed the woman would be hidden away in the writing chamber most of the time, and Chaewon wasn’t that brave to enter it when Sakura made it clear she didn’t want her there.
Food wasn’t a problem anymore. A nice table of numerous types of luxurious food would appear in the dinning hall every night. Breakfast was always by the door of her room in the morning. Lunch was at the dead garden outside. In none of those times Sakura accompanied her. Throughout her stay, Chaewon was alone. Just like she had been before.
But Sakura’s letter kept snug in the back of her mind every time she realized that’d be her life from then on. Forever. How many years would it take for Chaewon to get sick of it? How many years had Sakura been alive for?
//
By the time a few more months passed, she decided to get to know her companion. If Chaewon was really going to live forever she couldn’t be afraid of such a frail looking girl. A frail looking girl who had a doubtful past, was probably way older than she looked and wore menace like a ball gown. But Chaewon could still win against her in a fist fight……… probably.
She got close to the chamber. Sounds of pen against paper. The smell of ink. Everything was like a barrier to her, reminding Chaewon that she shouldn’t be there. But she kept her head up. Gulping down the lump in her throat, she went inside.
The moment she got in, her jaw dropped. So pretty… The curtains were open, revealing the sunlight illuminating Sakura from behind. As she wrote, she tucked her hair behind her ear exposing the cutting edge of her jawline. Her overcoat was hanging on the back of the chair and her collar bones were poking through the white blouse which was slightly more unbuttoned than normal. Chaewon held her breath. Too pretty……
Chaewon’s feet grew roots on the ground. Unable to move. Unable to speak. She stood observing the beauty in front of her. Her heart got smaller inside her chest as a sheepish smile found its way to her mouth against her will.
Before she could act, Sakura met her eyes. For a moment they stood. The pen no longer touched the paper and the ink dripped down, filling the room with its scent. The wind brushed over them and the few locks tucked under Sakura’s ears fell on her face. She closed her gaped mouth into an unreadable face. Put the pen away. Organized the papers. After getting up, she finished buttoning up her blouse and put on the overcoat. No words spat. As she tied the scarf around her slim neck, she took another glance at Chaewon. But her cheeks carried a rosy tone despite her nonchalant expression.
Sakura cleared her throat. “Is there something you need, Ms Chaewon?”
“Uh…” She made a few confusing gestures with her hands. “I was… I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind joining me to lunch today…?”
Sakura flinched; her hands froze while fixing the scarf. Then she quickly finished and cheeked her reflection in the window, beating away a few wrinkles on her clothes. Without a semblance of hesitation, she walked to Chaewon. At a not-so-friendly distance, she offered her arm.
“I wouldn’t.”
And so they went to the dying garden which desperately needed some attention. It was perhaps the only part of the castle that no longer carried the royal mark. As the other things, no matter how old or scattered, still held the history of a well-crafted object. But a dead garden was a dead garden.
The stone table was soft to the touch, although cold. Chaewon presumed the moss-covered sculpture beside it was once a fountain, which no longer functioned. Like always, there were two plates served on the table. However, the seat across Chaewon was no longer empty.
Sakura held her posture and used different cutlery for different foods. Delicately wiping the stains on her mouth. They ate in silence for the most part. With Sakura’s poker face, it was hard to tell whether she was bothered by Chaewon’s invite or not. If she was simply being polite. Or if she was enjoying the company. Chaewon grip on her fork was unstable, but she tried her best to not drop any food and embarrass herself.
Once they were finished, Sakura prepared to leave. But Chaewon stopped her by raising her hand. Sakura sat back with a curved brow, demanding an explanation.
“Well…” She cleared her throat. “I just thought it was a beautiful view and it would be a shame for us to part so early…”
Sakura chuckled. “This torn garden is a beautiful view to you?”
Chaewon looked away. But Sakura picked her chin just like the first time they met. Except instead of a grim gaze, her eyes were full of mischief as her sly smile reached them, perhaps for the first time since Chaewon arrived.
“Or were you perhaps……… talking about me?”
Chaewon scoffed and took the hand away. “As if.” But in truth she wanted her hand to stay.
Sakura stared at her for a while as her rosy cheeks slowly lost their color. Then her sly grin turned into a forced smile, trying to hide the pain in her eyes.
“Have you thought over it? The… immortality matter.”
Chaewon wasn’t expecting the question, but answered firmly nonetheless. “Yes, I’ve been thinking about it. And no, I did not give up yet.”
Her eyes turned glassy, but the smile stood still on her face. “That’s alright,” she said. “You still have time left.”
“Six months aren’t enough to change my mind.” Chaewon crossed her arms.
She was starting to think the woman wasn’t as bad as she thought. But Chaewon hated when people doubted her. Loathed it. How could her? After accepting to live a year with a stranger in an abandoned castle. After accepting Sakura’s weird condition. And the woman doubted her conviction yet again.
As she got up from the table, Sakura looked at the distant sky, avoiding Chaewon’s gaze.
“You called me because you felt lonely, didn’t you? It’s been less than a year. Imagine how you’d feel centuries from now.”
Sakura’s boots carved the dead grass beneath her feet as she walked. But before she could lock herself away in her chamber again, Chaewon took her arm. When the woman turned to her, tears streamed down her face. Chaewon hadn’t known her for long, but she recognized the pain. The pain of loss. Without asking for permission, she hugged Sakura, who sobbed on her shoulders.
“I wouldn’t feel alone had you not ignored me all this time.”
//
Even after that day, Sakura still refused to accept Chaewon’s request before the one-year period. Rules. If there’s one thing Chaewon learned about the woman was that she loved rules. And alone time. But not as in she liked to be alone, but rather she loved the company as long as she didn’t have to talk. A little weird, but somewhat cute.
Everyday Chaewon would eat breakfast and go to Sakura’s chamber. As the woman stayed absorbed in her writing, Chaewon read a book, drew, danced. Sometimes she’d lay on the couch and simply stare at Sakura – who would, in return, meet her eyes occasionally with a chuckle.
Chaewon decided one day, to sing. It was raining outside, and she was wrapped up in blankets as per Sakura’s request, which sounded more like an order. As the water fell down with a percussive sound, she sang. Not a song in particular, just a melody that came on her mind. But after a few notes, the sound of the pen against the paper ceased. The metal tip clanged as it hit the wooden floor. When Chaewon looked at her to see if everything was alright, she found a dropped jaw and marigold red cheeks. When Sakura was caught staring, she quickly looked away. Drying her drool and picking the pen that feel, although she ended up dropping everything else that was on the table, including the ink. The handsome lady turned into a cute mess as she tried to clean after the disaster she caused. A few glances were thrown at Chaewon, but she pretended to not see them.
//
All that was left was a month. And yet Sakura hadn’t given up on trying to convince Chaewon. The two of them had been living peacefully in the Everlasting Palace, and she wouldn’t mind staying forever that way. But Sakura was still deeply against it. Such hostility made Chaewon wonder if Sakura didn’t enjoy her company. If all of that time was nothing but an act. Sakura was centuries old, she could deceive her if she wanted to. But Chaewon wanted to believe something else. She couldn’t be only one with those feelings. Could she?
//
Two weeks left. There wasn’t much more time before the arrangement, and Sakura had been avoiding Chaewon for about a week. She really doesn’t like me… Then she shouldn’t have come up with that condition! Chaewon wouldn’t let Sakura’s mistake ruin her decision. Even after a year in the castle, she still remembered the world outside. It was dangerous. And exactly because she experienced peace, she didn’t wish to come back to the chaos. With or without Sakura. But her heart wilted at the thought of a forever devoid of the woman.
//
There was only one day. A single day before the arrangement. For an immortal like Sakura that was probably as fast as an hour, Chaewon imagined. But for her, it was an eternity. She had been alone for only a single week, and she was getting homesick. All because Sakura was being stubborn.
Chaewon kicked her door open, the silver tray behind the door flew away with her breakfast. Stomping through the empty and dark corridors, she reached the closed doors of Sakura’s chamber. For a moment, Chaewon thought the castle had been more lively, but in the last few weeks it got even colder than when she had first arrived. She huffed before slapping the dark wooden doors wide open.
Her heart crushed.
Withering away along Sakura’s tears. Her lungs lost their will and Chaewon ceased to breathe. In between sobs, Sakura stained the letter over her table. As Chaewon got close, she noticed that it wasn’t her handwriting. That letter was from someone else… to Sakura.
Chaewon gulped and held her own cry. She hugged the woman from behind and said nothing. And so they stayed. Hours… minutes… Chaewon wasn’t sure. But that didn’t matter anymore.
“Who are you crying for?” Chaewon said.
After cleaning her tears, Sakura said, “My little sister.” She picked up a painting inside her drawer, there was Sakura and an old lady.
The older woman was composed and held a serious gaze. The Chaewon from before would say Sakura was the same, but now she could tell the woman was holding her tears. And that was the first time, and probably the last, that she saw Sakura in a dress. The skirt was big enough to fit at least three Sakura’s, and the soft pink fit her perfectly. Normally, her strong aura was overwhelming but in that painting it was so gentle, Chaewon was afraid that if she held the frame with too much force, it’d break. The long shiny hair was like velvet. It was like a completely different person.
“She was the last one from my family to die.” Sakura brushed over the old lady’s face. “She didn’t want to marry. I didn’t want to have children, afraid my curse would pass on to them. Mother couldn’t birth any more children, so our lineage never continued. Father wasn’t worried because he knew that in the worst scenario, I’d keep our name alive by myself till the end of times, but he was still bitter I wasn’t a man.” She chuckled dryly. “I watched all of them die, one by one, but by the time I hit twenty-one, I never changed. We never knew why or who cursed me or even if was actually cursed. But as I got close to my forties, there was no more suspicion left. We all knew I was an immortal.
“Some rumours flew across the palace as the time passed. Everyone got older, servants and royals alike………… But I stayed. The younger children grew up and died serving the same face for years. My family left with sorrow as they knew… they knew I’d be left to mourn them. Forever.
“When I was closing in my eighties I saw my little sister, who was more than ten years younger than me, die while sleeping by my side.
“It’s been centuries, and only now I’m learning to make peace with it. Tell me Chaewon, would you really like to become eternal in this everchanging world?”
She took no time to think. “Yes.”
Sakura flinched and turned her back to face the girl. As their eyes meet, Chaewon grew a smile as large as she could through her tears.
“I won’t be another one who you had to see part away,” she said. “I will be here with you, so neither of us will be alone anymore. Never.” At that moment, Chaewon had a real reason to become eternal.
Sakura let the painting fall. Chaewon hugged her tighter. And so they stayed, and they would stay. Forever.
//
The next night, Sakura sent a mint green gown to Chaewon’s room with a little note telling to meet her at the ball room. It was a pain to move in the dress, and eventually Chaewon gave up on the heels. But once she entered the dancing hall… it was alive.
Cristal chandeliers lit up. Wind passed through the enormous windows. The white marble floor shined. Music echoed through the room, although Chaewon couldn’t tell where it came from. Rows and rows of festive food were served.
And in the middle of it all, stood Sakura. Her attire was still mostly black even if with fancy golden accents, but the scarf changed from the pale grey to a delicate pink. She was smiling.
As Chaewon got closer to the woman, she invited her to a dance. Chaewon gave away her hand. And they spined and spined through the whole dancing floor. Behind Sakura’s shoulder, beyond the windows, she noticed the garden was full of color. Alive. Just like the rest of the castle.
“Sakura what happened?” she asked.
A smile. “I knew this not long ago, but it seems that the castle is tied to me somehow. As the years passed, I no longer felt welcome in this place, and it slowly turned unliveable. The last place to change was my writing room. I was worried when I went there once and the curtains were torn. But things changed when you came.”
Perhaps the reason the castle was so cold the last few days…“Is that why you called it Everlasting Palace?”
Sakura shrugged. “It has always been this way for all I know.”
Once Chaewon got tired, the music turned slow along with Sakura’s movement.
“So, what is the last part?” Chaewon held Sakura closer.
“The last part?”
“For us to be together… forever.”
Sakura halted, causing Chaewon to stomp on her feet. But no words came. Her fair skin turned into a blooming red poppy flower. Her hands became sweaty.
“We uhm… we have to… we have to…” Sakura motioned from her lips to Chaewon’s. “We have to k-”
Chaewon gave her a lip lock with an audible pop. As Sakura froze on her spot, she chuckled. “Don’t tell me this is your first kiss Ms Immortal princess.”
Sakura looked away. “I- I won’t tell you then.”
It is actually her first time… Chaewon stumbled behind, which caused her to almost fall because of the extra weight of the dress. But Sakura held her. Tightly held her. One hand on her waist and the other on her leg. Sakura loomed over her blocking the orange light.
All the chandeliers dimmed, and the music stopped. Their lips were inches from each other. With trembling hands, Sakura strengthened her grip on Chaewon’s waist and got them closer. She gulped down and said:
“Will you be mine?”
Chaewon did not answer but gave her a kiss instead. In that moment, as their souls became one, their fates were intertwined. They’d be forever together. Nothing, not even time, could tear them apart.