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Rania wakes up to her phone ringing, an upbeat sort of pop — which is strange, because she's sure she'd changed it to the default monotone long back — and she blinks and focuses on the screen slowly. Nobody ever calls her so early. Nobody calls her at all, actually, these days. When she sees the caller ID, a chill creeps down her spine.
It reads, terrifyingly, bewilderingly: Layan <3
It has to be a joke — and a very cruel one, at that, because for the fraction of a moment, Rania's heart leaps up. And sinks again.
Layan's phone had been buried with her, she thinks, and then, with a trembling finger, swipes right.
"Hello," she says, and tells herself, firmly, that she will not cry today, no matter what happens. It's been about six months since Layan, and about six days since Rania started waking up with hollow eyes, instead of damp ones. It's an improvement, her parents say.
"Rania, oh my god, you have to listen to this! Remember how I told you that Laith wants to meet up, well, we were talking late last night and we decided that—"
Rania drops her phone, and runs to the bathroom. She's hallucinating, she thinks, her knees feel weak. She takes a few deep breaths, washes her face with frantic splashes. There aren't any bruises on her face, not the last one that she remembers vividly. She'd shouted at Hazem, in front of his parents and her own; she'd wanted to do so much more. Her father had been furious, he'd said that she was lucky Layan's mother had intervened on her behalf and talked Hazem out of his rage. Rania was lucky that she didn't have a father like Layan's, he'd said, before unleashing a back-handed blow hard enough to make her fall. The top of her cheek and the part below her eye had been a horrible, painful blue-purple, and now it's just — not there. She gingerly touches her skin. It doesn't hurt at all.
She takes another deep breath. Something is very, very wrong, here.
She goes back into her room and picks her phone up.
❌📞 Missed call (2)
Layan <3
Rania swipes it aside, opens the messages. Scrolls down. Or atleast, tries to scroll down. And then, slowly, she realises that this is as far as the conversation goes. But that isn't possible, because —
Her eyes fall on the date.
She blinks. Blinks again. Today's date isn't —
Oh, god, she thinks. She's dreamt up all of it. There's no other possible explanation. She's dreamt Layan's death and Mariam and — but how is that possible? None of that had seemed like a dream. Her thoughts are racing wildly, as she tries coming to some logical conclusion, all the while swiping up and down, her instagram, her snapchat, her whatsapp — it's all what it used to look like, about seven months back. Like the world's suddenly flipped back by half a year and left Rania in the — future.
As soon as the word comes to her head, she realises how ridiculous it all sounds.
The phone rings again. She glances down at it. Layan. This is Layan. This is Layan from seven months back, when they'd been stupid and arrogant and careless and cruel and Rania doesn't understand what's happened at all. She knows, distantly, that this is something she can't tell anyone, because they'd think she wasn't in her right mind. And for all she knows, they may be right.
Maybe she's not in her right mind.
She lets the phone ring, and goes down for breakfast. Her father doesn't look up at her, her mother quickly brings her food. She eats, quietly, and then goes to wait outside, watches the yellow bus turn the corner.
From ten yards away, through the window, she sees — unbelievable yet unmistakable — Layan.
(x)
Rania doesn't think. She runs, grapples with the doors and rushes inside. A few of the girls look at her strangely, but she has neither care nor time for them — she could cry, she thinks, as she sees Layan, well and whole and miraculously, brilliantly alive; her smile is the same, pleased with that particular edge of entitlement, her hair falling on her shoulders in waves, parted and tucked at the back.
Rania doesn't think, not even then, she just wraps her arms around her and hugs her like her life depends on it. Layan's mouth opens in a comical 'o' — puzzled but somewhat pleased, and when Rania feels Layan hug her back, squeezing her shoulder, she almost gives in and breaks down right there.
"Bad summer?" Layan murmurs against her neck, sounding surprised. Hearing her speak is — it's — oh god. This is real, Rania thinks then, hysterically. Layan is real. Flesh and perfume and haughtiness. Maybe she'd dreamt the previous one, although she somehow doubted that — but this new world around her is real, real, real.
Rania shakes her head, almost dizzy with the sudden possibilities.
"You have no idea," Rania whispers back, and Layan rubs her back in sympathy. She doesn't want to leave her, but it's not like she can hold her forever, so Rania lets go and sits down, ignoring the whispers starting around them. Let them, she thinks, I hope they tell everyone I'm insane. "I — I'm sorry about the call in the morning, I was a little—"
"It's alright," Layan says, quickly, but the small furrow between her brows gives away her concern. Rania has never been the one initiating hugs or — well, anything. Ah, but that's because you don't have feelings, Layan would say, laughing. "I was just calling to tell you that I'm going to go meet Laith. Although, maybe... maybe I should stay in school." She looks at Rania quizzically when she says that, like she'd stay back for Rania, if she asked. It's more warming than Layan could possibly know.
Rania clears her throat.
"Oh, no, I'll be fine," she says, and gives a smile that she hopes is reassuring. Rania isn't sure if any of this is fine, but she does know that if she starts telling Layan now that it's too dangerous to meet Laith, things will not end well. Layan already deals with too many people who like to control her life. Rania needs a plan before she does anything. "You should meet him." Then, because Layan still looks uncertain, Rania says, as eagerly as she can, "Tell me what you're wearing."
A blue tank top and a skirt, Rania thinks. Layan grins and opens her bag — and it's the same. Rania swallows back a lump in her throat. She couldn't have imagined that all on her own.
It's anticlimactic, really, all those days thinking about what she could have said or done to stop everything from happening and — holy shit, she thinks, as the bus stops and the doors open —
Mariam steps on.
The flash of fear that Rania feels is terrible and tangible. And then she sees Mariam greet Ms. Lamia, and smile at Dina, like she isn't the one who killed Layan, who could still, one day, kill her. Rania's blood boils hot for a moment. She wants to hurt Mariam, badly, so badly — she wants to —
"Hey, tomboy, what's up?"
Rania's heart stops. Layan sounds so snobbish, like she isn't the same person who'd been comforting Rania about five minutes back. She watches in half a daze, as Mariam replies in kind, and then as Layan spews some more unnecessary insults. Rania listens — with a growing feeling of horror and realisation — realisation being that Layan is digging her own grave.
"I don't know," Mariam is saying. "Do you wake up every morning trying to be a jerk or are you a jerk?"
Mariam can stand up for herself — she's always been able to. Rania wonders how they hadn't realised earlier that she would fight back. That she wouldn't take anything lying down.
She's exactly like Layan that way, Rania thinks, sardonically.
"Please, girls," Ms. Lamia says. "Sit down."
As Layan sends Mariam a last sneer, Rania realises that she's in way over her head.
The bus lurches to a start, and Rania and Layan continue chatting over the din. I blocked the school's number on my mom's phone, Layan says, and Rania doesn't tell her that that isn't enough at all. She just laughs, appreciatively. Are you ready, Layan says; next stop, Rania replies, with a smile. She thinks it's over, then, she can have some time away from Layan and think about everything she can do to change what might happen and —
"What the hell are you eating?" Layan asks, incredulously, and completely unprovoked. Rania blinks, and sees Dina turn around, licking cookie crumbs from her fingers. She'd once held Rania's hair back as she threw up in the bathrooms, whispering reassurances. "What are you, a freaking grinder? Enough already."
Rania thinks, distantly, about how Layan's words sound remarkably similar to her mother's, when telling Layan that she needs to remain in shape if you ever want to marry. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.
Dina doesn't appear chastised, or even a bit annoyed. She turns around, unfurling the zipper pouch and shoving it towards them.
"Oh, sorry, do you want one?" she asks. Layan looks at her disbelievingly, before glancing at Rania with the mocking expression that they often used to exchange, expecting the same from her, of course.
Rania, instead, smiles mildly, and after a short, awkward pause, takes a cookie.
She doesn't know who's more surprised, Dina or Layan or Rania herself.
"I like chocolate chip," she manages saying, smiling apologetically at Layan when it comes out more like mmf lige chockwate chiff.
The bus starts nearing the next stop, thankfully stopping Layan from whatever she'd been about to say. Rania taps the girl in front of her, Amira, she thinks, probably, and tells her to distract the driver.
"You two, stand up and start moving around," Layan — orders — there's no other word for it, really. Mariam looks unimpressed, she's listening to music.
"I'm not moving," she says, pulling Dina back down. "Just back off, okay?"
"Girls, please sit down," Ms. Lamia says, and suddenly, all too late, Rania remembers how this ends.
Layan grabs Dina's bottle, and in one fluid movement, unscrews it and spills the tea all over her. Dina gasps, stumbles back.
"Layan, what's wrong with you?" Mariam says, glaring at her, and Layan says — parroting her brother's words this time, Rania thinks, uneasily — Next time, listen.
Rania can't help but notice everything she hadn't earlier — the tea is hot, and Dina's uniform is completely ruined. She, unlike Mariam, doesn't look angry; she just looks upset. Rania steels herself and taps her on the shoulder.
"It's alright," she says, trying for briskness. A part of Rania wants to hug her. Dina had hugged her a lot; she was one of those people who thought that hugs could cure pretty much anything. "I'll help you get a new one from student affairs."
Mariam looks at her with such intense suspicion that Rania almost backs off.
Dina — god bless her — just agrees, looking grateful.
When they reach school, Dina follows her without question. Rania can feel Mariam's gaze on them all the way until they've gone out of sight. She feels a frission of anxiety, but quietens it. Layan is alive.
And she'll remain so if Rania has anything to say about it.
(x)
After Dina's changed, Rania and her rush to assembly.
Well, Dina rushes, Rania just walks at her own pace, hands in her pockets.
She likes school, despite everything — it's more of her home than any place else. It feels like she's come back after years.
When Rania sees Ruqayya, she's smiling before she realises it. Ruqayya doesn't smile back, she just frowns, glancing between Dina and Rania. Rania doesn't explain, and with a shrug, takes her place in the line.
(x)
It's the first class of the day. Rania's swinging her chair back on its legs; Ruqayya lounges back like she's sitting on a throne. Rania feels a little amused at the dramatics. Ruqayya always has been very dramatic. She gets it from her mother, the same way she gets her streak of surprising viciousness.
Rania's a bit caught up in her own thoughts, when the door opens, and Ms. Abeer — Rania recalls how much she hates her, how she'd often felt that it was Ms. Abeer who'd pulled the trigger, ultimately — walks in, herding in with her —
Oh. Rania stares, blankly.
"Good morning, girls."
"Good morning, Ms. Abeer."
Oh, good god, Rania thinks, along with a few other choice words, because she'd almost even forgotten about —
"Everyone, this is Noaf," Ms. Abeer says, and it's all Rania can do to keep her face straight. She isn't sure she's still breathing. Up until now, she'd somewhat convinced herself that the whole thing was normal and maybe just in her head, in her control, but no, even Rania isn't delusional enough to tell herself that she'd somehow thought up a whole person in her head who also incidentally happened to be real — that, too, someone as vivid as Noaf.
Rania can't stop staring, is all — tattered, provocative shirt and lip ring and all. Silver chain and ear piercings, the safety pins on her leather jacket. Her hair, tied in a messy bun on top of her head; the bold eyeliner around dark, dark eyes. She's beautiful, Rania thinks, abruptly, oddly.
"She just started school here," Ms Abeer is saying. "And she'll be joining our class."
Ruqayya sits up, eyebrows raised.
"Who changes school mid-year?" she asks, tauntingly. Something hard and unpleasant flashes across Noaf's face, but it's gone in a second. "Are you in tr—"
"I like your jacket," Rania blurts out. "Um."
Ruqayya blinks, slowly. There's a long pause as the class collectively turns to her.
"It's a really good jacket," Rania says, defensively.
"Rania," Ms. Abeer warns.
"I'm not joking," Rania huffs. She looks at Noaf, who looks a bit uncertain, like she isn't sure if she's being made fun of. "Honestly. I love it. It suits your whole, you know," she waves a vague hand, "chop-my-own-hair-with-a-blade panic at the disco look."
Noaf cracks a tiny, surprised smile. Objectively, Rania thinks, now, Noaf is objectively beautiful. It isn't anything odd for her to notice.
"Thanks," Noaf says, dryly, and makes her way to the empty seat in front of Rania. Ms. Abeer, still shocked, haltingly says something about welcoming Noaf to the school.
"My friend, Layan, she sits there," Rania tells Noaf as she pulls the chair back. Noaf's face falls a bit; Rania gestures carelessly to the side. "But she isn't in school today, so you can sit here. We'll find some other place for you tomorrow."
Slowly, Noaf smiles and sits down. Slouches back. Then, sits up. Turns around. Extends a hand. She looks hesitant. "It's nice meeting you, Rania," she says, eyes guarded. Rania grins like an idiot before she can stop herself and grips her hand. She's changed so much already. None of Mariam's plans would work without Noaf.
"You too," Rania replies, simply.
She looks decisively at the blackboard to avoid Ruqayya's questioning glare.
(x)
Somehow, things become easier after that. Rania, Ruqayya and Noaf eat together during recess, mostly silent. Ruqayya keeps shooting Noaf distrustful looks. Rania doesn't intervene.
She wonders how Layan will react to Rania's new hobby of actually being nice to people. Rania waves hello to Amira and even nods at Mariam when she passes her in the hall.
Mariam nods back, lip quirked just a bit, and Rania thinks, feeling off-kilter, that she'd been doing it all wrong before.
(x)
The next day, Rania is prepared.
"Pass it to me!"
She doesn't remember the exact sequence of events that went down that day, from the basketball court to the locker room, but they had left her with a bad taste in her mouth. A lot of things that Layan pulled left her feeling like that, admittedly. But she was Rania, she was the fun one, the cool one — she had to laugh it off. She always laughed everything off. She said screw this and went about her damn way and that was that.
But she hadn't ever been able to stop comparing herself to Layan's victims, either.
She remembers seeing Ruqayya pushing Noaf's sister into the bus. She'd just stood there, thinking of herself instead, crowded into a wall. An overpowering, nauseating smell of alcohol. Her father had always had a nasty habit of doing that, pushing her into things, holding her there, too close to his glaring eyes. Thinking about it makes her feel trapped. She remembers seeing Mariam lying bleeding on the ground and thinking of how she'd once found her mother in the living room just like that, a broken glass bottle next to her and her father nowhere to be found.
She even remembers —
Nevertheless, she wonders why, then, she hadn't ever said anything to Layan.
"Mariam's open!"
"Come on, pass it!"
Layan looks up with a scowl and throws the ball at Mariam, hard, a tad too fast, and Rania runs to intercept it. She'd been standing as close as she could and so she manages it, catching the ball with a wince, before dribbling it up to the hoop. She aims and shoots, and the ball goes straight in. She grins as everyone breaks into cheers, and discreetly glances at Mariam, who looks a little lost. Noaf catches Rania's eye and claps exaggeratedly.
She wants to say something, maybe — anything at all — but she doesn't quite know what.
Rania looks around to find Layan. She's standing in the same place as earlier, the only one not cheering.
She's staring at Rania, eyes narrowed slightly, like she knows exactly what Rania did.
Rania swallows, and looks away.
(x)
It only gets worse.
It's funny, actually, that the same thing has happened in front of Rania twice now and she still doesn't know how it started. One minute, she and Ruqayya are talking about Drake's new song and the next, Layan is flinging about accusations whose severity Rania suspects she doesn't understand at all.
"Poor Mariam," Layan is saying. Ruqayya, as usual, backs her up without question, sneering mockingly. Ruqayya makes Layan feel powerful, and sometimes, Rania despises it. "I know it's hard, not to know what it feels like to be... real woman."
Mariam looks hounded; close to tears.
"Layan," Rania says, quietly, because it's already enough of a scene. "Is this really necessary?"
Layan looks at her like she's crazy.
"She was looking at me, Rania," she says, like that even means anything. "If you don't think the little freak needs to be called out for—"
"For what?" Rania demands, all too aware of the other girls listening in. "She didn't do anything. And you're smart enough to know it but you're still making this up—"
"I'm not making up anything!"
"—please, Layan," Rania cuts right back in. "Don’t insult me, I've known you since we were five, I know what you look like when you're lying."
Layan stares at her, stunned, and Rania feels a sharp stab of fear. You're the only good thing in my life, she thinks, remembers a bathroom sink and gentle hands and conspiring smiles. And I don't know which one of us is ruining it.
Better a Layan who doesn't like her anymore, than a Layan who is dead.
Rania hears the clicking sound of a camera, and she immediately turns to it. "Get out of here," she says, glaring. "The rest of you — get out. This isn't a freaking free show." A few of them back away."GET OUT, I SAID!" she yells, finally losing it, and the girls still waiting flee, door swinging open behind them. "And delete that photo, Amira, or I swear to god, you will regret it!"
Noaf doesn't leave.
She's still sitting there, watching. Layan's face is flushed, with rage — as is Mariam's, probably in embarrassment. Ruqayya looks irritated.
"Layan, I—" Rania tries.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" Layan asks, and just like that, Rania's anger is back.
"With me?" Rania scoffs. "What's the matter with you? You're blaming Mariam for — do you even realise what you're saying? If someone said the same about you, your father would kill you!"
Layan jerks back, paling; Ruqayya inhales sharply.
"This isn't a joke, Layan," Rania continues. "It's her life. And you're—"
"What's with you and Mariam, anyway?" Layan says the name mockingly. "I saw what you did on the court. I don't understand why you suddenly—"
"Maybe because we're not kids anymore!" Rania says, hotly, "because the things that we say and do have consequences and you're barreling along head first without even thinking, while I try to fix the messes that you make!"
"I don't need you to do anything of the sort for me," Layan says, scornfully. "Let's be honest, Rania, you can't even fix your own life."
That stings, but Rania keeps her expression clear.
"We aren't talking about me, Layan," she replies, lip curling. "We're talking about you and—"
"Mariam," Layan finishes, smile turning cruel. "In the one day that I didn't come to school, did she become your girlfriend? Is that what this is all about, because—"
And Rania thinks: screw it.
"And what if she was?" Rania asks, abruptly. Layan's mouth snaps shut, Mariam makes a choked noise in her throat. Rania grabs Mariam's hand, makes a show of it. "What then?"
"You...?" Layan looks completely bewildered, she opens and closes her mouth. Ruqayya looks like she's having a stroke.
"We—aren't—" Mariam sputters, trying to pull her hand free. Rania holds it tighter.
"But what if we were? Tell me, Layan," Rania says, quieter now, voicing what she'd thought the last time this went down, "What if it was me staring at you? Really staring?"
It seems, for once, that Layan has no answer for that.
(x)
Rania sits with Noaf, Mariam and Dina during recess.
It reminds her, terribly, of those weeks after Layan's funeral. She keeps sneaking in glances at Layan, just to — to make sure, maybe. That it's not all a dream. Dina keeps glancing between her and Layan, who's sitting on the benches with Ruqayya, in stony silence.
"Rania," Mariam says, finally breaking the silence. She hasn't said one word since the locker room. "I don't understand why you would do — that. But, um—"
"It's fine," Rania mutters, embarassed. She doesn't deserve these looks or Mariam's thanks, she hadn't even really done it for her. "She's — it's just that—"
"That she's your best friend," Noaf cuts in, and there's a trace of something in her voice. "It takes guts, to stand up to your friends like that. That was brillant, Rania." Pride, she realises, after a moment, Noaf sounds proud of her. Nobody has ever been proud of Rania before, except maybe Layan.
There's a long pause. And then, Dina groans.
"I really do miss all the good stuff," she says, woefully.
Rania snorts, surprised, and not before long, all of them are laughing.
Something aches in Rania's chest.
(x)
Rania tells Dina and Mariam to go ahead to the buses, because she needs to talk to Ms. Jumana about the trials.
She's coming back, when she hears Layan's voice round the corner. Rania freezes.
"—I know you both aren't really," she's saying. "But she wouldn't have said that for no reason—"
"It's none of your business, Layan," Mariam replies. "Rania is—"
"None of my business?" Layan asks, and there's the thump of a locker, like someone being pushed into it. Rania listens carefully, because if things escalate, she'll have to barge in. "She's my best friend. Not yours." Rania blinks. "You all barely even know her or, or anything about her—"
Rania's never heard Layan stutter like that before. She holds her breath, back pressing into the wall. She realises that Ruqayya isn't here, that Layan has deliberately come alone.
"Are you jealous?" Noaf cuts in, "because if so—"
"Jealous?" Layan scoffs, sounding disgusted, "of you?"
"—if so," Noaf continues, impatiently, "then just apologize—"
"I'm not apologizing for doing nothing!"
"—because Rania's been moping around all day without you anyway."
There's a short pause.
"She has?" Layan asks, in an unaffected tone.
"God, but you really are a complete idiot," Noaf mutters, very audibly. Rania can almost hear the eye roll that accompanies it.
"You little—"
There's a loud thump and a clatter — Rania sees Noaf's books falling on the floor. Dina curses, loudly.
"What's the problem, Layan?" Mariam demands, angrily. "Why're you even here?"
"I'm here because you—" Layan says, before snapping her mouth shut. She speaks after a moment, slowly, like she's considering her words. "Because of what Rania said. About you and her. Just — whatever is going on with you, just remember, that if something goes wrong, or something happens, and you end up blaming Rania for any of it, I swear to god, I'll—"
A slow realisation is blooming in Rania's heart.
"You're worried about her," Noaf says, voicing it aloud, in a wondrous tone.
"She's my friend," Layan says, heatedly. "And she's never told me anything about — about this. So, if she's telling you, then you need to make sure that—"
There's silence, as Layan struggles with a way to frame it, something she's never done before.
"—that she's fine," Layan settles on, finally, sounding strained. "Because she's the only person who I — that I—"
Rania peels herself off the wall, and turns around the corner. They fall silent when they see her. Layan stares, wide-eyed, before looking away, pink rising up her neck. Rania walks closer to them.
"Layan," she says, and maybe there's something in her voice, or something on her face, that Layan's glare softens. Rania wraps her arms around her, and after a moment, Layan leans in, clinging to her shoulder like Rania might disappear any moment.
Rania wonders how she could ever have thought Layan and her wouldn't be alright, in the end. She hears receding footsteps as the others walk away.
"Were you really jealous?" Rania whispers, in Layan's ear, and feels her huff a breathless laugh.
"It was just unfair," Layan mutters, childishly. "They've known you a day and somehow — well. I suppose I can share."
"Layan," Rania shakes her head, freeing her grip to look at her. Layan's eyes are a bit red, from up close and Rania feels like crying. "All of this — it's —" for you, she thinks, "it doesn't mean that we're not going to be the same."
Layan rolls her eyes.
"No, really," Rania insists. She looks at their interlinked hands and smiles, and maybe it's a little sad. "You're my favorite person in the whole world, Layan," she says, admits, quietly.
Layan doesn't speak. When Rania looks at her, she's looking back, expression unreadable. A moment later, Layan pulls her into another tight hug.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Layan asks, after a moment. When Rania simply nods, she raises both eyebrows like she's waiting for some big confession. Oh.
"I was just making a point," Rania rushes to clarify. "I'm not really — me and Mariam are definitely not — together."
Layan hums, sounding rather unconvinced. Rania sighs.
(x)
"Just be nice," Rania mutters, from the corner of her mouth, watching Mariam climb the bus steps. Layan glares at her the whole way up. "Layan. Nice."
"The only reason I'm even agreeing to try is you, Rania, don't push it."
"I'll take what I can get," Rania agrees, and waves at Mariam. She waves back, glancing at Layan, whose gritted-teeth-smile looks more painful than anything else. "Hi, Mariam."
"Hey, Rania," Mariam says, before slowly looking at Layan. "Layan."
Layan nods, stiffly.Take what I can get, Rania thinks, exchanging an amused look with Dina.
(x)
"Hey, Layan!" Noaf calls, from where she's standing in the line, shit-eating grin on her face. Half the girls in their batch turn to look. Ruqayya looks like she's smelled something bad. "Rania! Mariam, Dina! How's everybody doing today?"
Layan's been glaring at her. When Noaf raises her eyebrows, Layan gets a look in her eye that Rania recognizes all too well: game on, then, she's saying. She rarely loses, Rania knows.
Layan smiles back at Noaf, who blinks in surprise.
"Noaf!" she cries, sounding utterly delighted, and runs up to give her a hug. "You have no idea how much I've missed you. Since — how long has it been — ah, nineteen hours! Too long!"
And on and on it goes: suddenly Layan and Mariam are making terrible jokes about Ms. Abeer's bad breath and Dina and Ruqayya are talking about the amount of homework every teacher assigns and how that's clashing with their respective nightly movie marathons. Rania and Noaf are talking about their shared hatred for math. Mariam offers to tutor them both and Ruqayya says, sign me up, too — and well, it's awfully easy, is all.
Like they've known each other forever.
Not before long, they're chatting about past and current boyfriends — or lack thereof, in Noaf's case, and Mariam's shrug and mumbled it's — it's very boring, honestly. Layan just smiles smugly, until they start asking questions and then she doesn't shut up. Layan loves talking about herself, but more than that, she loves talking about people she loves. "We can help cover up for you, the next time," Noaf says, shrugging, when Layan tells them about meeting him and Mariam and Dina agree, enthusiastically. Rania is beginning to think that it's all a bit too good to be true. When they ask about her love life, Rania, you must have one, she tells them about a boy she started talking to sometime back, but who she's since realised is a complete asshole.
"You deserve someone good," Noaf says, abruptly, before flushing like she gave something away. Rania looks at her, puzzled, as Layan looks between them in a way that's oddly calculating.
Sometime between hallways and classes and random conversations, it comes up that Mariam loves to sing but she has a slight bit of stage fright and Layan, almost thoughtlessly, says, "We can sing together sometime. You wouldn't get very nervous then, and it might even be fun."
Rania stares at them, blankly, as they make up plans to sing together for the charity event.
During recess, they sit and sing together. Layan plays the guitar and looks excited when she realises how good Mariam's voice is. "We're going to sound so hot together," she gushes, while Mariam looks overwhelmed.
Noaf introduces them to her sister, Joud, who mumbles a shy hello. Her braids are coming undone, and Noaf is apparently, terrible at them, so Ruqayya tells Joud to sit down, in the same exasperated tone she uses when she's braiding Rania's hair, all the while chiding her for not learning yet.
Rania watches, slightly awed, as Ruqayya deftly braids her hair into two french plaits — Joud smiling all the while.
(x)
When school ends and the bells ring, Layan and Rania make their way to the buses.
"I didn't even realise," Layan says, tentatively, "when I stopped pretending."
Rania glances at her, and thinks — with hope that unfurls slowly in the pit of her stomach — that maybe, they'll all be alright.