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Time slows down as you see this horrific sight. The woman you thought loved you, is kissing someone else. You don’t know whether to cry or scream. She turns to see you, a cold expression on her face.
“I didn’t realize you’d be at the carnival too.”
That’s all she had to say, no apologies or words of comfort. The drive home was silent and lonely. The scene replayed in your head repeatedly and you couldn’t shake it.
‘I did everything for her. I did whatever she said, I dressed more modestly, and I even changed my major. For years, I stayed docile and complacent to make her happy. Why wasn’t that enough? Why wasn’t I ever enough?’ You thought to yourself as you drive into the campus parking lot. You turn the engine off, but your body stays still. Embracing the darkness, you break down. Tears poured out and choked screams, you didn’t care who can hear your screams of anguish. Head down on the wheel, you try to catch your breath. You hastily wipe the tears off of your stained cheeks and walk to your dorm. Despite feeling extremely isolated, you’re grateful you don’t have a roommate. No one to ask you a thousand questions, you can just sleep off the pain. Besides, you have a marine biology exam to study for.
‘I’ll just focus solely on school right now, love is overrated anyways.’ You whisper bitterly to yourself as you drift off to sleep.
You went through with your promise. 24/7, you did nothing but study. With you not having many friends in this city, it was easy to create this bubble for yourself. The library became your second home. Your professors praised you for improving your work ethic, your grades easily moving from Cs to As and Bs. On the outside, you are a hardworking student making a name for yourself. However, that void in your heart has yet to heal. The nightmares didn’t help either. That fear of never being good enough is still in your mind and your self-esteem is in the seventh circle of hell. Only you knew this though. Well, you thought you were the only one that knew.
Dr. Kujo may be strict and seen as cold, an asshole, or whatever, but he sure as hell knows suffering when he sees it. What you weren’t aware of was that night, someone did hear your cries. Walking from his office, all he wanted to do at that point is go home and sleep. When he essentially heard you, he assumed it was another stressed-out college student. He wasn’t expecting to see you come out of the car looking like a kicked puppy. Watching you walk to the dorm, he opted to mind his business. Honestly, despite your previous average grades, you’re one of his favorite students. There’s something about you that he’s very fond of and he even looks forward to the particular class you’re taking. He and even your peers noticed the way your ex-partner treated you. From the way, she talked down to you to her publicly shouting abuse at you. Your grades even slightly suffered, which he noticed for sure. He wanted to approach you about the situation, but he held his tongue every time, not knowing exactly what to say. He especially noticed your ex-partner with the other woman before that night.
“Might as well talk to her now…”
Like many other nights, you’re at the library with your nose deep in the books. The nearly empty building serves as your sanctuary, especially during your current mental turmoil. Listening to lofi and continuing your studies, you slightly jump when there’s a light tap on your shoulder. You turn to see that it was her. With a gentle smile on her face with a bouquet of flowers in her left hand, you don’t know whether to be confused or furious.
“Hey..”
“Hey.” You deadpanned, not knowing what else to say.
“I wanted to apologize for what happened. I don’t know what I was thinking and she meant nothing to me. She’s not you, she doesn’t even slightly compare. I know this is long overdue, but I just want my girl back. And I know you want me too, I know how lonely you are.”
“Lonely? What exactly do you mean by that?”
“We both know that I’m technically the only person you got. You don’t really have any friends in this city and you’re either in your dorm or in the library alone.” She said with a small smirk.
‘Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?’ You thought to yourself, internally seething in rage. You firmly close your book and rise from your seat to face her.
“Being alone these past few months made me realize a few things. I felt more alone being with you than actually being by myself. When I was with you, I was never good enough and I sacrificed my own identity to please you. I dressed the way you wanted, I took every verbal hit you threw at me, and I even changed my fucking major! You never treated me as an equal, I was only your little puppet. I was never worthy of respect in your eyes, it was evident when you kissed that girl. And now, you act like I’m some desperate puppy. Like I need you, I DON’T FUCKING NEED YOU! You can take your “apology” and save it for someone who cares.” You barked. You storm out of the library in a fiery rage, you just couldn’t believe her audacity.
‘I need her? What a fucking joke.’ You thought to yourself as you walk to your dorm, you notice the clouds getting grayer and the rain lightly falling. You stop to glance at the sky momentarily, your breath becoming shallow as you feel the tears running down your cheeks. You continue to walk to the dormitories, softly sobbing when a black car drives up next to you. The window rolls down slowly, and you see a familiar face, almost catching you by surprise.
“You need a ride?”Dr. Kujo asks. You nod softly and get in the car. The first few minutes are silent, with Dr. Kujo focusing on the road and you staring off into space. You then hear your professor clear his throat.
“So, I heard about you and your ex.”
“Oh, yeah. Sometimes things just don’t work out.”
“I know everything.” He points out, causing you to turn your head so quickly that you didn’t care about the possible whiplash.
“Everything?”
“She didn’t deserve you, I hope you know that.” He says as he’s driving into the parking lot. You become completely silent, not sure how to respond. The engine stops and Dr. Kujo lays a comforting hand on your thigh, making you blush slightly.
“I saw the way she treated you. No one deserves to be abused, you deserve someone who loves you. Someone who truly appreciates and cherishes you. She doesn’t deserve someone as beautiful and intelligent as you. ” He confesses, intertwining his hand with yours.
“Thanks, Dr. Kujo.”
“You can call me Jotaro.” He responds with a slight smile. You smile back, heart fluttering at his confession. As far as you knew, Dr. Kujo was a stoic man who had no tolerance for foolishness and you assume almost emotionless. He then hands you a card containing his number.
“If you want, we can get some coffee sometime. You know, if you want to talk or anything.” He mutters.
“Thanks Dr.- I mean, Jotaro. I really appreciate it.”You respond with a soft smile. You say your goodbyes as you leave his car to head to your dorm. You really can’t believe that interaction just happened, like you must be dreaming! Before opening your door, you look at the card one last time and you feel your heart flutter once more. You’re definitely gonna take him up on that offer!