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Jane (quietly) thought it was Steve’s fault, for having to be brought up to speed on the 21st century, starting with the rest of the 20th. Well, maybe not his fault, but he was definitely the proximal cause.
Steve thought it was Tony messing with him again.
Tony knew it was Darcy’s fault.
Darcy remained blissfully unfazed, but if she would have blamed anything besides herself was ‘90s catch-up week’.
Nothing good came out of the 90s, Tony thought darkly. He remembered Hammer Time. With Thor, every time was Hammer Time.
And it was only efficiency that she had both Steve and Thor together for Midgardian exposure time. Otherwise her other option was a bar crawl.
She already failed to get Fury to foot the bill. Thor also was hell on glassware. They kept getting banned.
Tony was initially disappointed about not being able to decorate a huge tree, but it was a saving in fire hazards with these fire-happy supervillains breaking in all the time. Plus it was his house in the first place, and so he could Do What I Want, Steve, Stop Staring At The Pole.
Thor was just happy to have a new holiday to celebrate. Anything with ‘feats of strength’ was an automatic win.
Tony blinked his eyes open when he heard the rustling, then screwed them shut again in hopes it was a hallucination. “Friend Tony!” Thor boomed. “Greetings to you this fine morning!” Thor’s face remained upside down and affably beaming at him from over the head of his bed.
Tony sighed, resigned himself to the inevitable, and opened his eyes again. “Thor.” He said civilly. “Why are you in my bedroom at-” here he had to squint at the clock- “ass o’clock in the morning?”
“We need to prepare a Feast for tomorrow’s Festivus!” Tony could hear the capitalization clink into place.
“Do we? Do we really?”
Thor nodded solemnly.
Tony sat up, sighed again, summoned up patience from some deep well, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “Jarvis? Start some coffee. And start reminding Thor when he leaves his room without clothes again. Thor, buddy, remember we talked about this?”
Steve had thankfully left some waffles in the oven from his own obscenely early breakfast (in Tony’s opinion, anything before 8 am was only permissible if you stayed up all night to do it). Meals in the Avengers mansion were usually perfunctory, but Tony had bought Steve a waffle maker for his birthday and ‘overly excited’ was putting it mildly. Thor ate some of the waffles and most of a roasted turkey.
If Tony liked to order fancy mix-ins for Steve's waffles, that was between himself and his tiny crush on Steve. The figs were odd, but Steve was happy and made Tony satisfied.
Thor leveled an earnest look at Tony in between bites of waffle. "We have made a good start on the decoration of the pole, but we must do more to prepare for the Feats Of Strength. Where in the house would be suitable?"
Tony chewed thoughtfully. "The gym should work, with the boxing ring? Or we could set up another ring in the dining room, that way everybody can watch me kick your ass."
Thor chuckled. "Man of Iron! Your hubris will make a fitting end for you when I best you in an honest match. But enough talk about your inevitable defeat. The ring sounds sufficient. We must arrange for the Feast as well!"
Tony's eyebrows raised at 'inevitable defeat', and resolved to slip habaneros into Thor's salad during dinner.