Chapter Text
The first prefect meeting of the year fell on the second evening of their return to Hogwarts. Regulus had passed by the girls’ dorms to quickly pick up Pandora but had been waiting five minutes already. A group of second years skittered past him, giggling. Why they were giggling, he didn’t know. But he did straighten up and shove his hands in his pockets as they scurried away.
Pandora finally hopped out of the door, dressed in a nice blue jumper and jeans. “Lovely to see you on time, Regulus.”
“Can’t say the same to you, my dear.”
Pandora held her wand with her teeth as she hastily pulled her blonde hair in a bun. “Ah, chastise me later – who d’you reckon you’ll get partnered with? I hope I won’t get Parkinson, he’s bloody creepy. Lupin or Evans would be great –”
“Lupin’s not prefect this year,” Regulus told her.
Pandora looked over and him suspiciously, shoving her wand into her pocket. “And how exactly do you know that, Mr Black? Have you magically become best friends with the Gryffindors?”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “I overheard some Gryffindors talking about that the other day.”
“Mhm. And who’s replacing him, dare I ask?”
Regulus let out a long sigh. “James Potter.”
Pandora cackled for over a minute, leaning heavily on Regulus’ shoulder as she snorted. “Oh, good lord! My dearest Reggie, you might be in a pickle soon – I can sense it!” She waggled her hands and tried to keep a straight face.
“You are terrible at divination, and I hope he isn’t my partner. You or Rhea would be nice,” said Regulus. “If it were possible, I hope you get Potter and his big headedness.”
“Oh, but it’s not just his big head that you like – is it?” Pandora gasped and ducked to the side as Regulus swiped at her. “Argh! It’s alive!”
“Bugger off, Volant,” Regulus was steadily turning pinker. “I do not fancy James Potter. You’re –”
“Right?”
“Wrong. Keep your voice down, someone might get the wrong idea.”
Pandora gave him a very unimpressed glance. “What other idea could they get from that statement?”
Regulus gave a long-suffering sigh, just as they reached the corridor the meeting was on. It was a nice, high roofed one, with chattering portraits lining each side. A steady stream of prefects was heading into the room, and Regulus shushed Pandora, who was still snorting.
He recognized a few of the prefects – Parkinson, in year seven and Slytherin. There was also Rhea Lestrange who was walking into the doorway next to the ‘Prefect Common Room’ sign. As Regulus and Pandora entered the room, they found a circle of couches and armchairs, along with a coffee table stacked with snacks and drinks.
The room itself was pleasant, with a high, vaulted ceiling and window seats that looked out onto the Black Lake. Prefects milled around, around twenty of them already there. Lily Evans was on one side of the room, steadily ignoring Severus Snape, who was not-so-subtly following her.
The heads for this year were a pretty Ravenclaw, who was setting up the snacks, and a boisterous Gryffindor, who kept on sneaking glances at her.
“Let’s get a good seat. Rick’s in love with Bella, half the meeting will be him flirting with her,” Pandora whispered in his ear as she led him over to a three-seater. It was rather lumpy, as Regulus shifted on it, and had a strange smell. Pandora curled up next to him, her head only coming up to his shoulder. “Good lord, you’ve grown again.”
Regulus grunted.
“How eloquent of you,” she grumbled, as the room quieted.
Bella, the head girl, stood up and pushed her long black hair back. “Welcome, everyone, to our first official meeting of the year. It’s nice seeing all your faces again, and I hope that this year will be a good one,” she said, smiling. “Let’s do the roll, shall we?” As she began to read, Rick, the Gryffindor, propped his chin on her shoulder and she blushed faintly.
Regulus saw the door open and close, and James Potter slipped in. For a second, he got distracted, eyes wandering over the boy before he turned away. Pandora, thank god, hadn’t noticed, too busy studying the couple at the front.
Potter leant on the couch directly across from Regulus, muscles in his arms tensing as he leant down. He looked around the room, eyes landing on Regulus, who was still looking at him.
Potter offered a grin, which Regulus did not return. But Potter, never deterred, didn’t drop his smile.
Bloody Gryffindors and their need for chivalry.
James Potter had been nice to Regulus since the start of term two last year. Even an idiot would be able to link this to Sirius’ running away and telling Potter to be nice to Regulus. Sirius was rather distraught at Regulus staying with the family and had made it his mission to somehow use his friends to help Regulus. How he ever pictured this working, he didn’t know. But all of Sirius’ friends had now made it their mission to be as nice as possible to Regulus, a horrifyingly embarrassing thing.
Sirius was stupid sometimes. But Regulus couldn’t tell him that – he was estranged, and any contact with his brother would be immediately reported back to his parents. And with the sheer amount of Gryffindors trying to now talk to Regulus, his parents weren’t very happy.
“Regulus Black?”
“Here,” he half-heartedly lifted his hand, as Bella looked up at him. She gave a nod and moved on.
It was a shame that Lupin had resigned from being a prefect. According to Slughorn, he had resigned under the fact that his studies were building up as they got closer to his seventh year. That was bullshit, obviously. Lupin was one of the smartest in the sixth year. But Regulus had no other idea as to why they were now graced with the presence of James Potter, resident Golden Boy.
Regulus preferred Remus, who let him smoke on their patrols last year, even sharing his own stash.
He wasn’t paying much attention to the meeting, because the Head Girl was being overly excited, and the Head Boy was just staring at her adoringly. Sickening.
“Well, now that most of us are here – bloody Amos, he’s useless – let’s get started,” Rick clapped his hands, grinning. “Minnie wants us to go through rules and patrol buddies today, we’ve only got forty-five minutes and there’s a ridiculous number of rules.”
“It’s not a ridiculous amount,” Bella said. “But they do take a while.”
They did take a while. Regulus didn’t know why they needed to know and memorise 146 rules, but apparently being a prefect warranted it. Crossing his arms, he looked about the room at the other prefects. Most had their eyes glazed over, nodding at the rules. Potter was staring adoringly at something to the left of Regulus – probably Lily Evans – and paying no nor pretending to pay attention to the rules.
As he studied his watch and tried to pay attention to all the rules Bella was reeling off, he felt Pandora’s head bump against his shoulder.
“Wake up,” he hissed, nudging her. She grumbled some obscenity, sitting back up and crossing her legs. She glared at the parchment of rules and propped her chin up.
“Will it ever end?”
“Probably not. We’ll be stuck here forever.” Bella stopped for a second, looking up at Regulus and Pandora. He ducked his head, and she continued.
Finally, after almost twenty minutes of rules that got more ridiculous by the number, Bella finished and gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry guys, it’s McGonagall’s orders.”
“Minnie’s just making sure we uphold the honour of the school,” Rick said. “Now we can move onto partners, though. If you’re new, here’s how it works; you get a partner at the beginning of every term and you do patrols and study halls with them. Now, your heads of house have worked together to make sure you don’t hate each other, so no need to worry.”
There was a need to worry. Regulus hated most people in this room.
“Oh, I hope I get Evans. She’s bloody gorgeous,” Pandora hissed in his ear.
“Stop drooling over Gryffindors.”
“Have you seen her?!”
“Pandora now is the time to remind you that girls aren’t really my type,” he muttered in her ear.
“Even if you don’t like girls, you can still tell if they’re hot.”
“Fine, she’s pretty.”
“Thank you.”
“Still a Gryffindor.”
“We do not profile people based on their houses, Regulus,” Pandora chastised him.
“She’s a redhead, she’s in Gryffindor. I am going to profile her.”
“Lily Evans and Rhea Lestrange?” Rick read over Bella’s shoulder, looking up. Evans looked about the room, spotting the black-haired girl, who gave Evans a once over.
“Bugger,” said Pandora.
“Bella Cartwright and Richard Midgeon? What a surprise, never saw that one coming.” Rick gave Bella a grin and she rolled her eyes.
They went through the rest of the list, and as the names went down as Regulus stayed partner less.
“Pandora Lovegood and Alexander Nott?”
Pandora gave the handsome Alexander, who was in the year above them, a look up and down. “Oh, he’s a catch.”
“Yeah, I know,” Regulus whispered in her ear. “Remember?”
“Bloody hell, you do. Does he go both ways?”
“We didn’t really talk. You’ll have to ask him.”
“That’s so awkward, though,” she complained, as Alexander gave her a grin.
“Fine, be absent of your whorish tendencies.”
“Ha, says you, Black.”
“Yeah, says me. You don’t get anyone pregnant this way.”
“Exactly why I wanted Evans,” muttered Pandora, looking over at her. “I’ll make do.”
By now it was down to a few. Most notably, he and Potter. Regulus knew his luck, and that would mean that he’d be stuck with James Potter and his persistent niceness.
Pandora seemed to have guessed this, giving him a grin two of the last four were paired up.
Then there were them, and Bella said, “Regulus Black and James Potter?”
Before Regulus could even process her words, there was a very undignified snort from Pandora. The room turned to look at her as she struggled to not laugh, hands clamped over her mouth, shoulders shaking. Regulus wanted to merge with the couch.
“Sorry, sorry, continue,” Pandora gasped, sinking into the couch along with Regulus.
“Actually, I’ll just pass out your schedules and that’ll be the end of the meeting,” said Bella, pulling out little scraps of paper. She pulled her wand out and sent them around the room. The little scrap of paper floated over to Regulus, and he snatched it out of the air, still too embarrassed to look at Potter.
James Potter was the opposite of any of Regulus’ friends. His friends were all sarcastic, witty people. Potter… was not. He was a jock (even though Regulus was on the Quidditch team, he was much more stylish) and laughed loudly and made jokes. And, worst of all, he was best friends with Sirius, who had a very complicated relationship with Regulus. No doubt Potter knew all about it and had made it his mission to meddle and fix it.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. I hate you a lot.”
“Why do we hate Pandora?” Interrupted Evan Rosier, as the pair of them made their into the Slytherin fifth-year boys’ dorm room. He was lying on his bed, book loosely in hand and curly hair mussed. Regulus dropped onto the bed next to him, Pandora following suit on Evan’s bed. He kicked her lightly with his foot, using his elbows to sit up.
“We don’t hate Pandora,” said Pandora.
“I think we do.”
“I’ll need context,” Evan said lazily, closing his book. “Because most of the time Regulus’ hatred is misinformed and misdirected.”
“I just didn’t like you, Rosier, I didn’t hate you.”
“I vividly remember you yelling ‘I hate you, Evan Rosier!’ at me,” Evan quoted, miming a younger Regulus’ squeaky voice, and Regulus rolled his eyes.
“You spilt pumpkin juice over my head –”
“Hush, boys, this is important,” Pandora said, leaning forward eagerly. “Guess what happened, Rosier.”
Evan grinned wickedly. “You got partnered with Lily Evans?”
“No, unfortunately, Alexander Nott, but he’s still a catch. But it’s about who Regulus got partnered with?”
“Pray, do tell.”
“Our baby boy, Regulus Black, has got James Potter as a partner."
“No way,” Evan gasped, sitting up and looking between the two. “The one who won’t leave you alone? Who offered to carry your books in front of our entire class?”
“The very one,” drawled Regulus.
“No offence, but your brother’s friends are nutcases.”
“I think Sirius is the real one. He’s made it his mission to get his friends to make sure I’m okay every second of every day. Do you know how pissed Mother was because she heard Sirius was still trying to talk to me?”
There was a pause, where Pandora frowned, and Evan shook his head.
“Parents, yeah?”
“Pretty much.”
“Well, what are you to do about Potter?”
“Avoid him at all costs. Especially after what Pandora did.”
“What did she do this time?” Evan asked.
“Nothing –”
“Made the most ridiculous noise when our names were called,” Regulus complained, looking over at her.
She held up her hands. “Not my fault, okay. It was funny.”
“Maybe a little,” Evan decided, shrugging. “I would’ve laughed.”
“See, this is why I can’t take you guys anywhere.”
“I think it’s a good thing,” said Pandora, her arm twisted around the bedpost.
“What, me never taking you guys anywhere?”
“No, that you’re partners with Potter.”
“How on earth could this be a good thing?” Asked Regulus.
“Dunno, but maybe you’ll fall in love.”
Regulus blinked slowly. “Yeah, sure we will.”
“When birds fly,” nodded Evan.
“I don’t think that’s the saying –”
“Oh, I know. I’m going for it too.”
Regulus sighed at both of them. “Potter is as straight as they come.”
Evan snorted. “Nah.”
“‘Nah?’” Regulus raised his eyebrows at him. “The man more obsessed with Lily Evans than Pandora –”
“Didn’t think it possible,” interjected Pandora.
“- Isn’t straight?”
“Wouldn’t it be funny?” Evan asked him. “Your brother’s best friend?”
“Yes, it would be hilarious,” Regulus said drily. “Some of us aren’t you, Evan.”
“Hey – you know what, I have no excuse. They’re not friends anymore. And before you blame me, it was because he fucked his girlfriend.”
“Damn.”
“It was also kind of me,” admitted Evan. “Back on topic, though, go for it.”
“That story really convinced me, Rosier,” Regulus said. “But I’m going to steer clear of James Potter.”
“Well, I’m manifesting it,” Pandora nodded seriously.
“You can’t manifest things if you’re terrible at Divination,” Evan told her.
“Back me up here. Show us your schedule, Reg, I want to see what days your dates are.”
He passed her the little scrap of paper, begrudgingly.
“Tuesday nights, nine to ten and study hall for firsties on Wednesday. Not bad, twice a week’s pretty good,” she said, reading it.
“It’s not a date, and I’ll doubt he’ll show up either way,” said Regulus, standing up and grabbing his textbooks from next to his bed. “Probably off pranking with my brother or something.”
“Give him some credit. If McGonagall made him Quidditch captain and prefect she must have faith in him.”
“He gets detention on a weekly basis.”
“Probably favouritism,” nodded Pandora. “Common in Gryffindor’s.”
“Hey, what happened to no house profiling, Pandora?” Regulus asked her. “He’d better show up. Study halls fucking useless. I hate children.”
“They’re so precious, Reg,” said Evan.
Pandora and Regulus shared a look. “They are not.”
“You two were once in first year, dare I remind you?”
“Yeah, but we weren’t that short nor that stupid,” Regulus told him.
“Sorry, you were born in the body of a fifteen-year-old,” said Evan sarcastically.
“Physically, at least,” Regulus teased him. “Unlike you and your twelve-year-old body.”
“Fuck off, Black.”
“What, with the raging hormones?” Pandora quipped and got a kick to the knee.
“It’s okay, we’re here for you and your changing body,” nodded Regulus. He got a pillow to the face.
“You’re all useless. I’ve had more proper relationships than both of you.”
“You’ve had one,” said Pandora.
“Exactly.”
“And she was a bitch.”
“No, she wasn’t –”
“Say one more word and you die,” threatened Pandora.
Evan let out a breath with closed teeth. “We were both toxic.”
“She cheated on you,” Regulus reminded him.
“Okay, so –”
“Nope, you shut up now, Rosier. We’re all much better being single,” Pandora told him. “No mentions of an ex-girlfriend.”
Evan mimed locking his lips and pocketed the key. “Lips are sealed. But then you can’t mention Evans.”
Pandora shook her head. “That’s not fair – Lily hasn’t cheated on me and left me sobbing and drunk on an exam night.”
“And I got full marks, so was it that bad?” Evan said.
“Yes,” Regulus and Pandora said in unison.
“Okay, maybe. But, speaking of getting drunk…” Evan grinned again.
“What have you done, Rosier?” Regulus asked suspiciously as he got up and headed to his and Regulus’ shared wardrobe.
“We’re in the fifth year now,” Evan told him, rummaging through the bottom of it. “Which means my brother’s sent us off with a fantastic selection of… ah, here they are,” – he pulled out three bottles – “Fire whiskey, Goblin Vodka, and wine from southern France.”
Pandora grabbed a bottle from him. “This stuff is nice, Rosier. How soon can we use it?”
“Never on a weekday, we’ve learnt our lesson, haven’t we?” Regulus reminded him. “We’ll keep it for Evan’s birthday.”
“That’s like five weeks away.”
“You can survive that long, calm down,” Regulus told him. “Put that away before Crouch comes in.”
“Ugh, I’m still not over that,” said Evan, hiding the bottles again under his socks.
“What did he do?” Pandora asked them.
“He found our stuff and brought it out for a party. We couldn’t really say anything, but we did put hair removal cream in his shampoo.”
“Evil. I love it,” Pandora told them. “Dick deserved it.”
The other two nodded.
Regulus got up and stretched. “We’ve got to the Transfiguration reading before dinner.”
Evan and Pandora groaned. “Why do you have to be so school focused, Reg?”
“And why does McGonagall hate us so much?” Asked Evan, grabbing his Transfiguration book.
“That’s house profiling, that is,” Pandora said. “We should bring it up with Dumbledore.”
“I’m pretty sure she does it for all the houses,” Regulus reminded them, fetching his quill and parchment.
“We’ve got to make our reputation as evil Slytherins somehow,” Evan slung himself upwards with the post. “Pandora, will you read over the Charms and write the notes? I’ll do Potions homework.”
“Ugh fine, but please let me use yours - I’ve lost mine,” Pandora said, getting up as they headed towards the door. “It’s the first day, why so much bloody homework?”
Down the hallway they went, schoolbooks underarm and voices echoing in the vaulted ceilings.
Emerging into the cavernous Slytherin common room, they loped over to a set of desks. Their common room was the biggest of the four houses, with twelves foot ceilings and three main rooms. It was all stylishly decorated and sleek, and very Slytherin.
The three of them took their seats in the lounge, at the very back under a large window and torch. They rotated between two places in the common room: here, and the couch in front of the fireplace. But a group of sixth years liked that spot too, so they thus rotated.
The window was clean, thanks to the house-elves, and looked out into the murky depths of the Black Lake. Seaweed waved slowly in front of it as fish dipped in and out of view.
“D’you reckon your brother has finally realised him and Lupin are in love?” Pandora asked idly.
“Why on earth are you thinking about that?” Regulus asked her, flicking open his transfiguration book and setting it on the dark wood table. “But hopefully, it’s getting ridiculous at this point.”
“Mhm, sixth years now,” Evan nodded. “Everyone but them seems to have realised."
“I think that my brother is just daft,” Regulus told them. “Probably thinks of Lupin like a god or some shit. Embarrassing, really.”
“Oh, but imagine being so in love that you think that,” Pandora said.
“Sounds gross,” Regulus said.
“Being in love?” Evan asked him.
“Yes.”
“Boy, aren’t you optimistic.”
“It’s my natural talent,” Regulus said tonelessly, dipping his quill in ink. “My joyful and friendly spirit.”