Work Text:
It was a very simple question that Roman had asked. It had been one of those days, a little boring but wonderfully cosy – even Janus and Virgil were being civil. They'd agreed on a movie night, and the credits of Frozen pass the screen as they began to return to their own activities, Virgil had dove for his phone, of course, and Logan for a book on astronomy while Remus took off and Janus found his own page again. Roman wasn't in the mood to read, or write, or draw for once, but he was always curious, so he pondered for a second before deciding on the question to ask his Padre.
“what’s your best memory of all of us?”
And Patton knew his answer, just… They weren’t ready to hear it. Patton wasn’t ready to share something that big. Sure, they knew they needed to talk about it, they wanted to say something for ages but neither had the courage.
It's the evening light
Shining through the curtains
Time before the night
When everything is golden
“My best memory of all of you…” Patton smiled towards Janus, who was paying exactly 0% attention to Patton and 100% attention to the book-wineglass combo in his hands, lit from the back by the golden hour’s light. His scales seemed to glow in that light, shining the gold bright and clear, and it was as beautiful as that day…
The day Patton fell in love all over again.
.
.
.
You’re sitting on the chair
Wrapped inside a bedsheet
Playing with your hair
Watching people on high street
They both worked from home for a while after they brought Virgil home from the same orphanage as the twins (now 4 and as excitable as little boys could be), and Janus was working at the computer when the light turned honeyed gold through the curtains of their living room. Patton had been writing for a little while but let himself be distracted by his pretty husband, the light wonderful for his complexion. Janus was sipping his cup of tea as he worked away, calculating and moving and doing what he could to make the spreadsheet make sense but alas, it was frustrating and he hadn’t slept well, no thanks to the now-calm baby curled up beside him in his little bassinet and themed blankets, their little 6 month old named Virgil (Janus had chosen the name and Patton had found it so perfect for that little boy that they kept it).
If I wished myself a superpower
I would make this moment last for hours
If I had my way
Time would just stand still
Wait for me until
I find some magic film
To take a photograph and live inside
Patton had snapped a quick photo of the scene, the light and Janus’s messy hair and the fussing ball of blankets in the corner of the shot, an effortless beauty to the man before him. Janus heard the camera click and looked over, giggling a little. It was wonderful, his whole face lit up by the sun and his cheeks pinched up into that giggling smile that Patton loved so much.
Sun is going down
Your skin is like a painting
Light is perfect now
I can feel it changing
“Really, Pat?”
“The light was lovely, give me something to brag about to our kids when they’re older!” Patton defended himself and Janus laughed again, standing up to go and refill his cup with tea with warm camomile. Patton had stood to go and check on the twins, (really, at this age they shouldn’t be let out of their sight), and before he reached the top of the stairs, their infant began to cry for his parents.
Kids are probably soon
Don't get me wrong I'm ready
I know what to do
When we’re no longer two
When us means more than me and you
Janus had put his cup down and walked over, cooing to the sweet little thing, “hey, hey, what’s wrong my little spider?” he soothed as he rocked the baby in his arms back and forth, humming softly. Patton nearly melted at the sight, smiling as he saw his husband holding something as pretty as their little Virgie, just as he’d done when they brought the twins home. They'd spoken for months about adopting, and when the day came, they returned with twin boys (about a year old at the time) and since then, their lives had been accented with glitter, dragons, knights and kings and kingdoms for the kings to rule (pillows arranged around the living room).
Janus kissed Virgil’s head a few times, soft hair tickling his nose as he comforted the poor thing’s tears, “you want some dinner, don’t you? How about I warm you up a bottle, cuddle you up and you go for a nice nap” he offered, not that he’s get much of an answer as he shifted the baby to one arm so that he could open the fridge and microwave, and Patton could hardly remember his original task of the twins, who were probably destroying their room.
If I wished myself a superpower
I would make this moment last for hours
If I had my way
Time would just stand still
Wait for me until
I find some magic film
To take a photograph and live inside
Just as he remembered, the twins ran past (through) his legs and down the stairs, holding up their toy swords and continuing to fight as they went to the living room for a proper battlefield. Patton laughed, following the boys down and warning them to be careful of their wooden toys against the new coffee table. Janus now had a bottle of milk to Virgil’s lips, rocking him a little as he drank and his own little hands over Janus’s fingers to ‘hold’ his own bottle, which made Patton grab his camera again just for the cuteness that was Virgil’s little face. Janus didn’t notice the camera click as he smiled down at his baby- God, he loved his family, his four special boys, his three children and his husband...
I need some way to prove that this was real
A memory is not enough
I'm scared that I'll forget the way it feels to be young and in love
Patton picked up both of the toddlers with a squeal, going over to Janus and kissing his cheek while he fought the boys into the bathroom to give the messy scamps a bath, they weren’t escaping it no matter how many puppy dog eyes they gave their papa (his own fault, Patton had taught them how to do it to get things from their dad, it didn’t matter that he was currently stood in a sunflower dress, that was still their dad as many times as Remus called Janus his 'mama').
Janus finished feeding the baby boy and laid him down on the couch to swaddle him for cuddles now that he was officially done with work (they’d talk to Logan about a break until Virgil was a little older and they could find a good babysitter that wasn’t poor Emile), and he could hardly believe his luck – it was a seemingly perfect existence with his young family, and by the time Patton emerged with two squirming towel-burritos instead of their twins, he was half asleep listening to the radio. Patton let the boys go (thank god for towel ponchos, they really didn't need the neighbours talking about how they let their boys run around naked like last time Remus escaped the bath) and took a photo again of Janus now cuddled up with not one, but three boys. Their boys. Their family...
Let me stay right here
Just a moment longer
The picture is so clear
Please let this last forever
But they didn’t stay that way forever. Janus and Patton grew apart and by the time the twins were 8, the divorce was finalised, and Patton spent that whole day praying to whatever God would listen that Janus would stand up, that he’d call it off, that he wanted to stay with him.
And little did he know Janus was praying for the same thing. He didn’t want to lose his best friend or his family, but it had been a mutual decision and they’d tried counselling before (it had helped a little but not enough, especially with their kids) and just like that, in one day two people lost each other…
But still, Patton loved his family, his boys and their dad were still part of his life, and as they grew, Patton saw his ex-husband grow, too...
.
.
.
“Probably our first Christmas after Janus and Remus moved in,” he lied, and Janus could taste that lie in the air, “it was so fun and it was so good to see everyone so happy”.
Janus wasn’t going to press, not that they were now talking more about their relationship- Janus had blurted out that he wanted to try again, and Patton agreed, but they had to figure out a lot before they dove into a relationship again like that. He'd ask later, when the others had gone to bed and he was left alone with Patton for a short while.
Once everyone had left for the night, Janus approached Patton curiously, intrigued about his actual favourite memory. Patton, on the other hand, was humming to himself and doing the dishes left behind from dinner.
“You lied.” it was a fact, shirt and clear, and Patton knew what it was about.
But he wasn't going to just give it to him so easily, nothing was easy anymore, with their whole group now being a little divided, “No, I didn’t, I loved our first Christmas.”
“But it wasn’t your favourite memory. C’mon Pat, spill” Janus prodded his side a little, eliciting a giggle (he loved that laugh...), and Patton pushed his hand away. He took off the yellow rubber gloves and placed them on the counter
And with that, Patton looked over to the pile of framed photos on the top of the cabinet, and to the photo album below it.
“You wouldn’t remember it, it was so long ago.”
“Try me. I’ve got a better memory than you give me credit for, Patton” Janus teased, but his expression was soft. Genuine.
Patton opened the album and showed him an early page, one of the first, and it was the photos they’d taken that day…
Janus could remember. He remembered the light irritating his eyes, the toddlers running down the stairs, the hours of cuddles before taking them all up to bed…
“That day, Janus, I fell in love with you for the second time since I’d met you…”
If I wished myself a superpower
I would make this moment last for hours
If I had my way
Time would just stand still
Wait for me until
I find some magic film
To take a photograph and live inside
Janus took Patton's hand, a little awkward as his fingers weaved through the other man's.
“Give me a chance to do it a third time…”