Work Text:
“I was talking to May yesterday.” Eddie still hates the silences that stretch out in these sessions. Frank prompts, of course, but he lets Eddie lead – which, when it comes to talking about himself and his feelings, goes against everything he’s been taught in life.
Which is an incredibly ironic thing to think at a time like this.
“She taught me what FOMO means.”
“Fear of missing out.” Frank interjects, nodding, and Eddies eyes lift from where they’ve zoned in on the creases of skin on the back of his thumb, eyebrows high in mild surprise. “It’s something I talk about regularly, actually. A lot of people feel like they missed out on life.”
The right side of Eddies mouth pulls up into a sardonic smile.
“So I heard.”
He sits back, bends his left leg until his ankle is rested on his right knee and holds onto his shin like it might protect him from whatever Frank might stare him into saying next.
“Do you think you’ve missed out on anything, Eddie?”
There it is.
“May asked the same thing and I-“ He sighs and pulls his leg a little further in, “-I said no, but I think, uh, I think she saw right through me.”
Frank smiles, but he says nothing.
“There was this call. This girl – a luxury influencer, whatever the hell that is – and she was living this double life.” Eddie shakes his head, “as far as her parents were concerned, she was at school, just a normal kid, they had no idea what she was doing until I posted a photo of her on Twitter to try and find her.”
The glance he steals at Franks faces tells him Frank knows where this is probably going. He doesn’t think about it. About the fact that everyone seems to be able to see right through him lately.
“She had all these thousands of followers believing that she had all this money and a new house with a built-in sauna and May thought it was because she thought she – she missed out on something, because she didn’t grow up with all that.” He takes a breath. Carefully. Deliberate.
“We watched her livestream, after, and May—” His mouth screws up of its own accord, pushing back emotion that’s making his lip wobble. “She- she realised that she’s been living her life for the sake of someone else. She lost the person that she was out of fear and—”
“Loyalty, especially to family, is a funny thing.” Frank nods.
“She asked me.” Eddie laughs, the same as he did when May first asked the question. “Of all the people, she asked me.”
“What’s so funny?” Frank tips his head, inquisitive.
“I turned into you for a second,” Eddie watches Franks eyebrows lift, “you know, trauma often causes us to turn inward.” He mocks himself and Franks lip curls.
“She asked me how to get back to the person she wanted to be before, like I would know.”
“Don’t you?” The question is intentionally ridiculous, and Eddie glares.
“I don’t think I ever got a chance to figure out who I wanted to be in the first place.” His smile is grim.
“So, what did you tell her?” Frank asks.
“I said I’d let her know when I find out.”
Frank nods slowly. Eddie might be inclined to say he looks impressed – just a little. Or maybe he’s just projecting.
“I guess that brings us onto your homework.” Frank places his pen down on to his clipboard, lacing his fingers, resting his hands on top.
Eddie nods slowly, snagging a corner of his bottom lip between his teeth.
“I’m gonna visit my dad in Texas.”