Work Text:
Valentine's day. A day for lovers and being in love. It was infecting the hallways of McKinley High. To you though? It was a reminder of the relationship you had with the Quinn Fabray.
The romantic relationship.
The secret romantic relationship.
You close your locker with a sigh. Quinn didn't want the nature of your relationship to be known for one reason or another and you were willing to go through with it. But it didn't mean that it didn't hurt to pretend you weren't in love with the cheerleader. Even alone, it did seem like the blonde was holding back. Or maybe she didn't like you as much as you did her. It was an insecurity you didn't want to burden her with. So you decided to enjoy the ride for as long as you can. Or it's what you tell yourself.
You walk into the Glee room, where the couples scattered around were being cute and lovey-dovey. Your eyes land on Quinn sitting in the top row of chairs, watching everyone with a smile. Her eyes meet yours for a moment before turning away and you sigh internally before standing by Kurt at the piano. At least you could share some misery with someone since Blaine was in the hospital. Finally, Mr. Schuester arrived to start the lesson for the week.
"Okay everybody, let's hear it for Love! The assignment for Valentine's Week is to find and perform the world's greatest love song."
Your mind starts going as you shoot a glance at Quinn. Was this an opportunity to sing to your girlfriend without it getting out? Which song would you choose? You were so deep in your thoughts that you almost missed Sugar's announcement of her V-day party at Breadstix and while they were all invited, the stipulation was that you had to bring a date. Oh boy.
As the week went, you had barely any time to spend with Quinn. She had singing telegrams to perform with the God Squad and that took up most of her time. Though, it also seemed as though she was avoiding you as well. Moments alone, while studying mostly, we're often filled with cuddles and shy kisses. But now there were barely any longing glances from the blonde. Frustrated, you finally decide to mention something.
"Hey Quinn. Can we talk real quick?"
You were both at her locker, right before lunch. It gave you some time at least.
"What is it, Y/N? I have to meet with the God Squad to coordinate more song grams." Quinn let out a sigh, as if you were bothering her. You knew that it was more of a front than anything, but with how things were between you, it stung slightly.
"I just… well, uh…"
"Y/N, I really need to go." She took a few steps only to be stopped by your hand grasping at hers. Almost immediately, she yanked her hand away, looking around at the crowd of students. "What are you doing!?" She chastised quietly. "You know we can't-"
"I know, I know" you apologized with your hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I just…" you looked around before whispering, "I miss you…"
Quinn's eyes softened. "I know. I'm sorry for not being present lately. After Valentine's, we can do something together, ok?"
You couldn't help but frown. "But what if I wanted to be with you for Valentine's day?"
The blonde quickly shushed you, only causing you to look more disappointed. Her absence was hitting your anxiety hard and all you really wanted was a little reassurance.
"With all the God Squad is doing, that won't be possible. Especially since we'll be performing at Sugar's party." She placed a hand on your bicep. "I'll make it up to you, ok? I have to go now." With a soft squeeze, she walked away from you, unknowingly leaving you in distress.
The night of Sugar's party arrived and you were there, sitting alone at a table. You weren't there with anyone, but you were sure that Sugar wouldn't care since she was preoccupied with Rory. You were staring at the ground, your head spiralling downward towards depression as you continue to think about your girlfriend.
'Should I even call her that anymore? It's obvious she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.'
You couldn't even get a glimpse of Quinn after your conversation the other day and it fueled your anxiety.
'Heh… dumped on Valentine's day? That's depressing.'
A sigh escapes your lips as you finally look up at the pink decor that exploded in Breadstix. Happy couples littered the restaurant and while you were glad for them, you couldn't help but feel envious. You picked at a heart-shaped cookie on your table and wondered why you even bothered to come. Then a voice broke you from your thoughts.
"Hi. My name's Joe. Santana Lopez asked me if the God Squad could sing a love song to Brittany S. Pierce. And after thinking and praying about it, I knew there was only one right answer."
There was a pause. Just long enough for Santana to quirk an eyebrow either in question or as a challenge.
"Absolutely!" The dreadlocked boy grinned. "Love is love, man. So here's for Brittany and Santana."
'Yeah… love is love.' you thought, bitterly.
The music began to play, but you couldn't bring yourself to look at the stage. You were already poised to leave and drown in your sorrows.
Cherish is the word I use to describe
God, Quinn's voice was heavenly. And that thought made your heart clench. She wouldn't sing to you like that. No matter how much you wanted. The love you shared felt like it was skewed too far to one side and you weren't sure you could handle it anymore.
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
A rueful laugh slipped from your lips. You were convinced now that Quinn wasn't as into you as you were with her. It was always like that. As the song continued, you got up to leave. People were enjoying the performance. You weren't going to ruin their night with your negativity. Sugar was right. Single people were sad and boring. Mostly sad.
But you didn't notice Quinn staring at you as she sang. The nerves she was hiding within her performing persona. Her heart racing in fear as you refuse to look at her. You didn't know that Quinn had been planning this all week. To finally make your relationship known. You didn't know Quinn's own anxiety about letting people know how much she cared for you. She kept you at arm's length because she knew she couldn't hold back her affections before this performance. And now she's terrified that she pushed too far. The God Squad had moved to sing to Brittany and Santana, but the Latina jerked her head towards you, motioning to Quinn to get to you before you left. With a grateful smile, the blonde weaved through the crowd, making it to you.
Can't get away, I won't let you
You suddenly feel a hand in yours, pulling you back slightly. Turning, you're now standing face to face with Quinn, her eyes boring into your own as she sang.
I could never forget to…
Cherish is the word I use to remind me of…
She twines your hands together and takes a step closer. You could feel her hand shaking, almost matching the pace of your heart.
Your love
Slowly, she pulls you back into the restaurant, to the crowd dancing along to the song. You look around, aware that now everyone is seeing the two of you hold hands. Reaching your destination, Quinn pulls you close to her, swaying to the music as she sings. Letting go of your hand, she brings her own up to cup the back of your neck. Your hands find their place on her hips as your foreheads touch. Looking into hazel eyes, you can see the love that Quinn has for you, realizing that letting your depression and anxiety blind you almost cost you this amazing and wonderful person in your arms.
You don't know how many times I wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I wished that I could hold you.
Listening to the lyrics, you realize that this was Quinn telling you everything she wanted to in the time you were together. As it sank in, you smiled wide, slightly dopey as you watched your love sing.
You don't know how many times I wished that I could mold you into someone who could cherish me as much as I cherish you
Cherish the thought. Oooh
As soon as the song ends, Quinn wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you into a kiss. Your arms tighten around her waist as you reciprocate the kiss, eventually lifting her up, causing her to laugh against your lips. After a quick spin, you put her down and keep her close, not wanting to part anytime soon.
"I love you, Quinn. So much."
Quinn cups your face with both of her hands, smiling sweetly before giving you a peck on the lips.
"I love you too, Y/N. More than I think either of us know."