Work Text:
"Happy birthday!"
One moment, Chanhee was on his phone, scrolling through Twitter on his burner account; then Kevin's hair was in his face and Changmin had snatched his phone away while Sunwoo was purposely singing off-key right into his ears.
Chanhee curled into a ball, screaming, and Jacob took the opportunity to suddenly grab him by the waist and shake Chanhee around like a rag doll. "Little one!" Jacob squealed, swaying side to side like Chanhee didn't weigh anything at all. "Happy birthday!"
"Please get off me!" Chanhee all but begged. He knew he should have been used to the members' aggressive ways of showing affection– after all, they've been living together for around 7 years. Still, the introvert in him was strong and loud noises scared the baby.
"Oops, sorry~" The moment Jacob put him back down on the ground, his feet were swept away by Haknyeon, who started running around the practice room and making Chanhee cry for help again.
"Haknyeon! Get back here, stop stealing the birthday boy! That's my job!" Hyunjae shouted. Sangyeon decided to step in and forcefully separated Chanhee from Haknyeon, keeping a tight grip on Chanhee's shoulder so no one could grab him and run off again.
"Happy birthday, Hee!" Younghoon pulled him into a hug. Credit where it is due, at least Younghoon's hug was comfortable and not motion-sickness inducing. Downside was, he smelled of sweat because they had been practicing for four hours by then, so Chanhee was quick to push him away immediately.
Chanhee scrunched his nose up. "You stink."
"Excuse me–"
"Eric's calling! Guys, gather up here." Kevin was already angling the phone to capture all ten of them while waiting for KakaoTalk to connect. "Damn it, the company's Wi-Fi signal is just getting worse and worse everyday."
"CHANHEE-HYUNG!" Eric could be heard before his face even appeared on the screen. "HAPPY BIRTH– ouch, I hit my head on the wall– HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HYUNG!"
Chanhee felt his heart warm up at the sight of Eric's wide smile. "Thanks, Eric. How have you been? It's morning there, right? Have you eaten breakfast yet?"
As the members settled down and caught up with Eric, Chanhee felt another person approach him. A little shy and hesitant even, and Chanhee had to bite back a smile at Juyeon's attempt to look anywhere but him. Juyeon stayed beside him, fiddling with his own large hands for a moment.
"Happy birthday, Chanhee." Juyeon finally mustered up after a while, reaching up to pat Chanhee's hair down from where it had messed up due to the members' prior attack. "Um… I hope you have a wonderful day today and–"
"You sound like a Hallmark card, Juy." Chanhee snorted, ears turning red. Juyeon wasn't usually shy and timid like that; rather, he would usually have teased Chanhee relentlessly along with the other members. "C'mon, greet me like you want and not like you're reciting a store-bought card."
Juyeon flushed, shrinking as much as he could into his grey hoodie. "Did it really sound automated like that?"
"Yes, actually." Chanhee realized Juyeon's hand was still on his head, softly sinking through the black strands of hair without much pressure. He didn't want Juyeon to move the hand away, so he pretended to not have noticed. "Are you going to greet me properly?"
"Didn't I already do that?" Juyeon whined, suddenly pulling the hand away, leaving Chanhee feeling a little cold. "Besides, I can't really greet you sincerely right now, not with all the members around."
Chanhee scoffed, pulling his lips into a pout right after. "You're just making excuses now, Mr. Lee! Since when did you become so unassertive? Oh, are you really Lee Juyeon? Who are you? What did you do to my friend?"
"Hey, don't pout like that!" Juyeon placed his hand under Chanhee's chin, eyes widening at the skin-colored band-aid under his lips. "Wait, what is this? Did you get a cut?"
"Are you saying you totally missed the fact that I was bleeding all over the practice room yesterday?" Chanhee couldn't help but feel… well, neglected. The members were all over him the night before, when Chanhee had accidentally scratched himself while dancing. While it has been a blur because of the pain, Chanhee had thought that at least Juyeon was among the members that panicked for him.
"Yesterday?"
"Wow, Juyeon! I always knew you were kinda oblivious but I never thought you'd be the type to completely ignore me." Chanhee sighed, turning away just in time for Eric to say that he had to go because his mother was calling for him. Chanhee put on a smile for their youngest and bid him to be careful and to heal faster before Kevin ended the call.
Sangyeon suggested that they should cut their practice short by then, so Chanhee could rest well for the night and prepare himself for his special day filled with answering Instagram questions and V-lives. The rest of the members readily agreed and Chanhee zoomed away from Juyeon the moment Changmin dismissed them.
He knew he was a bit harsh on his friend, considering that the world was too fast for Juyeon and maybe he really didn't notice that Chanhee had scratched himself the night before, but Chanhee still felt sad. Juyeon had always paid extra close attention to him in the past; anything from preventing Chanhee from tripping on a slightly raised pavement to picking out a stray rice grain from Chanhee's cheek.
Chanhee chose to ride the car where Juyeon wasn't in, which wasn't suspicious at all but for the fact that Juyeon also tried to get in the same car only for Chanhee to blurt out that the one seat left was for Jacob. He pretended to not see Juyeon's sad smile before leaving, but the moment the car door shut, Younghoon reached over from the front seat to pinch him.
"Hey!"
"What was that? I know it's your birthday, but that was still rude, Chanhee!" Younghoon frowned. "We're all tired from practicing, and Juyeon just wanted to go home faster with us since we're the first car to leave. What was that for?"
"I just wanted to ride with Jacob-hyung…" Chanhee argued weakly.
Younghoon was about to argue back, but Changmin was quick to shake his head and end the argument right there. They were all obviously tired and a little emotionally strung from missing one of their members, so it wasn't a good time to start a fight anyway. The atmosphere was a bit tense after that, but Jacob quickly came into the car and the driver sped off to their dorms.
Sunwoo, who had been quiet the entire time beside Chanhee, reached out to poke his hyung's arm. Chanhee replied with a raised eyebrow, and Sunwoo struggled to keep his voice low enough to whisper, "Did you have a fight with Juyeon-hyung?"
Chanhee huffed. "No."
"I overheard you talking when Eric was video chatting." Sunwoo pressed on. "Hyung, I'm not taking sides but Juyeon-hyung has been very stressed lately. There are rumors about him that are negatively affecting him even though he doesn't say it outloud. He also misses Eric the most out of us here, so maybe you should cut him some slack? Juyeon-hyung's always looking out for you even though he doesn't have to, so you can forgive one slip up right?"
It was good that Sunwoo was obviously not waiting for a reply, because Chanhee had none to give. Sunwoo yawned, signalling the end of their conversation, leaving Chanhee to wallow in shame because Sunwoo was right. Juyeon was only trying to greet him, but somehow Chanhee got angry and made him suffer.
At the dorm, Chanhee took his time in the bathroom, throwing a sparkly blue bath bomb in and chatting with deobis on Universe. He returned messages of friends that greeted him and laughed at the members' Twitter greetings.
But still, his heart was aching with guilt. He wanted to go to Juyeon over at the next dorm and apologize, because doing so over text seemed a little heartless and impersonal, but Chanhee also didn't know what to say. He hated confrontations, no matter how feisty he was; Chanhee would only end up crying out of frustration.
With a muddled mind and a frown, Chanhee rinsed himself and changed into his pajamas before trudging back to his bedroom. The dorm was already quiet even though it had barely been an hour since they got home, but everyone was tired. Chanhee would have also just showered quickly and passed out, had it not been for his guilt tugging at his heart strings.
"Chanhee?" Juyeon was surprisingly already in Chanhee's room, smelling like crisp soap and almost hiding in the shadows. Chanhee was so surprised and spooked at the intrusion, he almost whacked Juyeon's head with the nearby lamp. "Can we talk?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Let me just put my things away." Chanhee quickly turned around to face his dresser, very much aware that he was actively stalling. He snuck a glance at Juyeon, still standing by the foot of the bed and looking down at the floor. Chanhee bit his lip and sped through his nightly routine, feeling worse with every passing second.
When he finally patted the last of the skin cream onto his face, Chanhee finally wheeled around to face Juyeon.
"So, I'd like to say that–"
"I'm sorry."
Chanhee blinked in surprise. Why was Juyeon apologizing? Chanhee was the one being overly sensitive and had done wrong. Juyeon was the victim of misplaced anger. Why was he the one saying sorry??
"About earlier… I should have tried harder to give a greeting that didn't seem indifferent. You're one of my closest friends, Chanhee. You didn't deserve that." Juyeon scratched at his neck, looking and feeling down.
Chanhee was left speechless and bewildered. He shouldn't be the one receiving an apology–
"And I should have paid more attention to you as well." Juyeon continued, sighing. "You've been working really hard these past days to meet the deadline for your photobook, so you are obviously tired. I should have noticed that you got hurt yesterday and took better care of you. I'm sorry, Chanhee."
"Juyeon…" Chanhee felt his throat tighten. "Are you just saying these because it's my birthday?"
"No! I'm saying this because I don't want any misunderstandings between us. As I said, you're one of my closest friends, Chanhee. I treasure you a lot."
Chanhee felt his eyes water as the pain in his heart became worse.
"It's not an excuse to say that I've been feeling down these days. We're all going through the same stresses, and what more, it's your birthday. You shouldn't be feeling left out or ignored… especially not on your special day."
"Juyeon," Chanhee struggled to stand up, feeling like his knees would give out anytime soon. He managed to reach his teammate, throwing his skinny arms around Juyeon and burying his nose into the other's neck. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this because of me!"
"No, no! What are you talking about? Are you crying?" Juyeon was clearly panicking, but he kept firm and strong hands on Chanhee's waist to support him. "Chanhee, look at me. Are you crying? Did I do something wrong?"
Chanhee whimpered and tightened the hug, shaking his head.
"Chanhee, I'm sorry but I can't help you if you won't talk to me." Juyeon pleaded gently, feeling his shoulder grow wet with warm tears.
"Juyeon… I was just being selfish!" Chanhee managed to sob after a moment of struggling. "It's not your fault! I was just so used to you always vying to be the first to greet me sweetly and take care of me even if you didn't have to… you have no obligation to do so but you always do it and I took you for granted and felt angry when all this time, what you needed was for me to do the same to you."
"It's not an obligation, but I do it because I care a lot for you, okay? Don't cry, Chanhee-yah." Juyeon slowly pulled away so he could wipe Chanhee's tears off with his palms. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy too. If you feel bad, I'll feel bad too. Please stop crying…"
Chanhee shook his head again, fighting to fall back into Juyeon's arms. "No, Juyeon! I'm a bad person, I don't deserve how much care you're giving me. I promise I'll do better! I'll take care of you too and–"
"You don't have to." Juyeon chuckled, patting his hair. "I'm just happy to take care of you."
"But will you let me?" Chanhee looked up with teary eyes, sniffing. "If I want to take care of you as well, will you let me?"
Juyeon blinked down at him. "I mean… I can't really say no to you, Chanhee. You can do whatever you want. Firstly though, can I clean your wound? Younghoon-hyung said it's already healing well, but I want to see it for myself. May I?"
Chanhee quickly wiped his tears and nodded, sitting down on the edge of his bed as Juyeon kneeled in front of him and slowly took off the bandaid.
"Hyung didn't say it's a deep cut…" Juyeon muttered, reaching for the first aid kit he carried along with him. "Did it hurt a lot?"
"It wasn't as painful as it looked, I promise. It did bleed a lot though… Kevin did say that wounds closer to the head will bleed more because the pressure on the head is more intense." Chanhee still couldn't help but wince when the alcohol-dipped cotton swab made contact with the wound.
"Sorry, but please endure a little more. I'll clean it gently." Juyeon assured, moving closer and making his touch more feather-like as he did the cleaning efficiently. "I don't have skin tone band-aids, but I do have a Hello Kitty one. Will that be fine?"
Chanhee giggled at the pink band-aid Juyeon held. "Yes, I think it will be fine."
Juyeon carefully placed the Hello Kitty band-aid on, securing the sticky tape on Chanhee's soft skin. He then clearly hesitated for a moment, and Chanhee was about to ask what was wrong; then Juyeon leaned in and placed his lips over the center of the band-aid, the top of his lips barely touching Chanhee's bottom lip.
"I should go back so you can rest. You have a whole day of schedules today–" Juyeon hastily packed up the first aid kit, avoiding Chanhee's curious eyes.
"Hey." Chanhee suddenly caught his wrist, noticing how Juyeon's ears had turned red even in the dim light from the lamp. "You can't just leave after doing that!"
Juyeon kept his lips sealed, looking away from Chanhee.
"If… if you really want to take care of me, why don't you sleep here with me instead? If my wound hurts while I'm asleep and there's no one here with me, what would happen then?" Chanhee asked, feeling his cheeks go warm as he released Juyeon's wrist. "I need you here, Juyeon…"
"Will that really be okay with you, Chanhee?" Juyeon asked with hopeful eyes, taking Chanhee's hand and holding it gingerly. "You won't wake up in the morning and regret it?"
"I've had enough regret and guilt for today, to be honest." Chanhee smiled, pulling Juyeon's hand. "Hurry and get in here! I need to get as much sleep as I can so I'll have energy tomorrow! Just leave the first aid box by the floor and sleep already."
"You'll bump into it tomorrow if I don't put it away." Juyeon insisted, placing the box on top of a cabinet. He then stood at the edge of the bed, apprehensive and still doubting, but Chanhee was quick to take his hand and pull him in again.
"Don't hog the blankets, okay? I get cold easily." Chanhee warned, throwing the thick duvet over their bodies. "If I get a cold, will you take responsibility?"
Juyeon laughed, shifting their positions slightly to make them both comfortable. He slipped an arm under Chanhee's head and brought him closer, engulfing the other man in his body heat. "I guess I'll just have to keep you warm, then. Is this okay?"
"This is perfect." Chanhee hummed, his own hand resting on the dip of Juyeon's waist. He was quickly nodding off into the dream world, the exhaustion of practicing and the emotional drain already taking its toll.
But he still felt Juyeon press a kiss on his forehead, lips moving almost reverently against Chanhee's soft skin.
"Happy birthday, Chanhee."