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“Are you sure we can’t just go home and watch a movie?” Dean grumbles.
“You promised,” Cas says, tugging on his arm insistently. “And I’m making new friends here, Dean. I want you to meet them. It’s been very good for me.”
Dean sighs. He doesn't do meetings, or clubs, or get-togethers or whatever. Especially ones where the punch is just punch. But he also doesn’t know how to say no to Cas for very long.
He lets Cas knock when they get to the door with a brightly-colored handmade “QSA” sign taped to it. A girl with fiery red hair answers, squealing when she sees Cas and pulling him into a hug.
“This is Charlie,” Cas says with a smile.
“What up,” she says with a wide grin, grabbing Dean’s hand and shaking vigorously. “Aromantic lesbian, nice to meet you.”
Dean smiles back and opens his mouth to respond, when Cas answers for him.
“Dean’s straight,” he says quickly. “He’s just here with me as a friend.”
“What?” Dean says, blinking at him. “No I’m not.”
Cas frowns at him. “Not what?”
“Straight,” Dean says. He’s confused as fuck, because everybody who knows him knows – he's sure Cas knows – doesn’t he? How could they have lived together for almost a year, known each other for two, without Cas knowing? He doesn’t really make a big deal out of it, sure, but he doesn’t exactly hide it, either. He turns to Charlie instead.
“Bisexual,” he says. “And I have no idea what aromantic means.”
“Oh, it’s like asexual, but…no romantic attraction, instead of sexual.”
Dean frowns. “I thought that was the same thing.”
Charlie laughs. “Yeah, so do most people. C'mon, I’m starving. I can tell you more about it when I have some food in me.”
When Dean turns to Cas, he’s gaping, eyes wide and staring at Dean.
“What?” Dean says defensively.
“You’re not bi,” Cas says, almost growls.
“Yeah, I am. How did you not – everybody knows, dude.”
“You're not,” he says. “You can’t be.”
“What the hell, Cas? What’s gotten into you?”
Cas’ face flushes dark red suddenly, and he looks down at his feet. “Nothing,” he mumbles, and darts into the room and immediately disappears.
“The fuck,” Dean whispers. He’s too confused and – well, kind of hurt, honestly – to track Cas down. Instead he looks around until he finds Charlie and flops down in a chair next to her.
“Where’s Cas?” she asks, though through her mouthful of pizza it sounds more like “whurf cuff?”
“No idea,” Dean grumbles. “He freaked out, told me I can’t be bi, and ran off.”
She hums thoughtfully in response, taking a sip of something bright blue in a plastic cup.
“I mean, that shouldn’t – how could that bother him? I mean,” he sweeps a hand out, vaguely indicating the crowded room.
“Mayyybe…” she says, then bites her lip.
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe he likes you,” she shrugs. “And he thought he didn't have a chance because you were straight and now he’s in shock.”
“But he’s asexual. He told me that when we first met. He wouldn’t be interested –”
“What did I just tell you? Romantic and sexual attraction aren’t the same thing. Yeah, plenty of people are asexual and aromantic, but some people – like me, hello – aren’t. Like, I like sex, love it, but I don’t ever want to be anything besides friends with people. I love my friends a lot, but not like that. And then some people are into dating, and romantic love and whatever, but not sex.”
“So, uh…do you know if he’s…?”
“Oh, no. No way. You should be asking him that question. Not mine to answer, dude.”
“Maybe I would if he hadn't run away from me,” Dean huffs.
She just shrugs. “He’ll come around. Now shut up and let me eat.”
Dean glances around the room one more time before sighing and getting up. “Well, if he’s not even gonna stick around with me, I’m going.”
“Aw, Dean...”
“No, he promised he’d be with me the whole time if I agreed to come, and he’s gone, so I'm gone. Not really in the mood for this anymore anyway. I’ll see you around, Charlie.”
She frowns but nods. “Maybe I’ll see you next time?”
Dean just shrugs.
He’s only two blocks away when his phone starts ringing. It’s surprisingly hard not to answer when he sees Cas’ name on the screen, but he forces himself to shove it back in his pocket.
He is not gonna do this over the phone. They can talk when Cas gets home.
He throws himself on the couch with a grunt when he gets to the apartment, closes his eyes and settles in to wait.
- - -
The sound of the door shutting wakes him up. He lifts his head and blinks the fuzziness out of his eyes until he can see Cas standing awkwardly in front of the door.
“You just gonna stand there all night?” Dean rumbles, voice rough from sleep.
Cas takes a deep breath and walks slowly towards the couch. Dean shifts around until there’s room for him to sit down at the other end.
“I’m sorry,” Cas says finally, eyes wide and pained. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
“No shit,” Dean says. For a moment he considers just getting up and going to his room to go back to sleep.
“It’s just, I…I don’t know how to say this.”
“Maybe ‘oh, okay, that’s cool,’ would have worked. Or just 'okay.’ It’s not that difficult, Cas.”
“No, that’s not what I mean, I’m…there’s a reason I reacted the way I did.”
Dean snorts. “Yeah? Charlie thought it was because you’re in love with me or something.”
He expects Cas to laugh, to roll his eyes or maybe even recoil in horror. He doesn’t expect him to suck in a shocked breath and go pale.
“Cas?”
“I’m sorry,” Cas whispers again.
Dean feels his mouth dropping open, but can’t manage to stop it. He sits up straight and leans in closer. “Cas, are you…?”
Cas bites his lip and nods, looking anywhere but at Dean’s face.
“Oh my god,” Dean says. “Oh my god.”
“I’m sorry, Dean, I’m so –”
“I love you too, you idiot.”
“You – what?”
Dean just laughs. Cas stares for a minute, lips eventually twitching up at the corners like he wants to smile, but then he frowns again.
“Even if you do,” Cas says, staring down at his hands. “I’m not – I don’t want to…I’m not interested in sex, Dean. I won’t ever be.”
“Cas,” Dean says, scooting closer. “You know what I daydream about when I think about bein’ with you?”
Cas looks up slowly and shakes his head.
“I think about what it’d be like to hold you every time we watch shitty movies together. Or what it’d be like to kiss you goodbye when we go to class. I think about makin’ you breakfast in the morning and falling asleep next to you, and…you know, all that sappy crap.” He’s blushing, he knows he is, but the wide-eyed hopeful look dawning on Cas’ face is definitely worth it.
“But wouldn’t you miss it?”
Dean shrugs. “I can’t say that I wouldn’t at all, but…Cas, it’d be worth it if I could be with you. And it’s not like I’ve…” he clears his throat and looks down at the couch, picking at the fibers. “I haven’t been with anyone since a few months after I met you anyway.”
“You’ve…because of me? This whole time? I…I assumed you just stopped telling me about your dates because I came out to you and you thought I’d be uncomfortable. Why didn't you tell me?”
“I thought it’d be weird for you, man, with the whole…asexual thing. Like it’d be rude, I guess, and it’d make things awkward, and it’d just make you feel bad because you couldn’t feel the same.”
“Well, I do appreciate the consideration. But we could have been doing all those things you mentioned all this time if I’d known. I should have explained romantic orientation a long time ago.”
Dean looks back up at Cas’ face, and his eyes are shining with unshed tears but he’s smiling, a real, happy smile, and Dean can’t help but return it. He scoots a little closer and reaches out carefully to take Cas’ hand.
“So, then…can I kiss you?”
Cas’ smile grows wider. “Please,” he whispers.
Cas whimpers a little when their lips meet, and it’s warm and soft and perfect. It’s sweet, which isn't a word Dean is used to associating with kissing someone, but he can’t imagine wanting it any other way now.
“This is what I want,” Dean murmurs when they break apart. “Just you, just like this, exactly the way you are.”
Cas grins so wide it has to hurt. “Okay,” he whispers back. “I think I can do that.”