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When Ruby turns two, Bianca and Courtney have a big birthday party for her in the backyard of their house in Venice. It’s April, so the weather is beautiful, and their friends all volunteer to pitch in by bringing food.
Though it doesn’t last long, Ruby is in the midst of a princess faze at this point in her young life, and so her moms have done their best to humor her by turning their backyard into a cotton-candy wonderland. Bianca is between gigs, so for nearly two weeks, she devoted herself full-time to creating felt crowns and capes, huge pink and yellow tissue-paper flowers, and using cardboard to transform the play structure into a castle. On the day of the party, she and Courtney are up at dawn to decorate the yard, putting the flowers and fluttering fiesta flags up everywhere, as well as pink streamers, motorized bubble machines, and big bunches of pastel-colored balloons.
Bianca is a pretty decent cook in this story, but she’s not a baker, and basically had an emotional meltdown trying to create the pink-and-roses princess-castle cake of Ruby’s dreams. Mind you, Ruby is turning two, so she could give a shit about symmetry and sharp angles and the fact that half the icing is a darker pink than the other. In fact, she takes one look at the wobbly mound of cake and shrieks with happiness. So even though Bianca is pretty embarrassed with the results, she does have to admit that it made her daughter happy, and is able to let the whole thing go and enjoy the day.
For the kids, Bianca makes an enormous quantity of dino nuggets, bagel bites and cheese quesadillas, figuring that keeping it simple is the way to go.
Courtney is responsible for the grill, where she barbecues soyrizo, veggie kebabs, and Mexican street corn, and only lets one or two things char past the point of no return. She also made a big batch of Ruby’s favorite chocolate chip cookies with mini M&Ms, which Bianca decided would be a helpful distraction around the base of the cake.
Adore shows up first, bringing a container of guacamole and a few bags of chips that she picked up from Whole Foods on the way over. (She’s quite smug about it, too, telling Bianca that it would have been Trader Joe’s, but this is a special occasion, so they’re very welcome.) She’s one of Ruby’s favorite people, though, so the food is less important than the fact that she plays with her and helps her put on the sparkly tutu dress and tiara that Bianca made for her. She even sits down on Ruby’s bedroom floor and allows her to decorate her electric blue hair with all kinds of barrettes and bows. Also, her present for Ruby is a rainbow mermaid tail blanket, and by the end of the party, princesses are out and mermaids are in .
Bianca and Courtney are grateful to have Adore there to entertain and distract Ruby while they finish setting up. Bianca is almost putting the party favors on one of the folding tables she’s borrowed from her craft service friend, when the first “official” guests ring the doorbell—Jinkx and Ben, with their infant son and a massive watermelon carved into a basket, filled with fruit salad. (Ben is responsible for both the carving and the high ratio of strawberries to other fruits, knowing that they’re Ruby’s favorite. For this, he is proclaimed a “good princess” and given a crown to wear by the guest of honor. Adore is jealous, so Bianca gives her a crown, too.)
Shea and Sasha arrive next. Sasha has made a gorgeous salad, filled with a dazzling rainbow of Farmer’s Market produce: red and yellow cherry tomatoes, beets, butter lettuce, shredded carrots, red cabbage, toasted pumpkin seeds. She’s sliced the cucumbers into stars and carved radishes into rosettes, and brought multiple mason jars filled with homemade vegan dressings. Shea carries a casserole dish of mac and cheese. When Bianca asks if it’s vegan, Shea looks at her like she’s insane and just says, “Fuck no.” Bianca is reminded in that moment once again why she loves Shea so much, throwing her arms around her and kissing both cheeks.
Vanessa, Bianca’s favorite sister, is in town, and while she doesn’t bring any food (“The fuck was I supposed to cook with at the hotel?”), she does bring her 3 kids, and Ruby is ecstatic to see her cousins, who she’s been obsessed with ever since their trip to New Orleans for Thanksgiving, following them everywhere on her unsteady, chubby little legs. They love her just as much, showering her with attention and affection and teaching her to say catchphrases from their favorite reality shows.
When Ruby went through her whole anti-veggie month, especially refusing to eat any green food whatsoever, it was Alaska’s broccoli fritters that saved the day, and she brings a whole tray of them. She also brings Willam, but he’s on good behavior and even manages a whole 3-minute conversation with the birthday princess without using the word “fuck.”
Tatianna hasn’t been hanging out with their friend group very long, only since January, when she and Courtney reconnected, finding themselves teaching classes in the same gym…but she figures that this is an opportunity to show them that she’s not just some pole-dancing bimbo. She brings two huge trays of homemade enchiladas (even making the sauce herself) and succeeds in impressing them all.
Naomi shows up with a whole gaggle of her nieces and nephews, along with a bunch of bean and cheese burritos from her favorite place in East LA, which she says are the best in the world, but also she “cannot promise they don’t have lard, so sorry to all the vegetarians here.” Adore confirms this with one bite, and advises her to warn everyone “because that means more for me!”
By that time, a handful of Ruby’s preschool friends have also arrived, and in spite of some planned party games and activities, the kids have all devolved into racing around the yard and climbing all over the “castle” like maniacs. Courtney gives up on pin the tail on the donkey and tells Bianca to forget about the arts and crafts projects she’d planned. Bianca agrees, and tries not to be annoyed about the fact that Ruby’s brand new dress is pretty much trashed since she’s clearly having so much fun. After awhile, she convinces Ruby to please, please sit down for a few minutes so that she can open her presents, coaching her to remember her manners and make sure she says thank you to everyone.
Pearl gets there just before they cut the cake, and shocks everyone by bringing, not only a couple of (unopened!) bottles of margarita mix and Casamigos tequila, but also a huge bowl of Bianca’s favorite banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery, which she knows Ruby loved too from their holiday party. Bianca is super touched that she remembered something like that, and Courtney playfully accuses her of flirting and jokingly warns her to back off. (Well it’s like 99% joking.)
Bianca feels a lot better about the cake after Ruby blows out her candles and it still hasn’t toppled over, and especially seeing her happy squeals when she finds out that the inside is strawberry.
Later that night, Ruby is passed out in Courtney and Bianca’s bed, snuggled into her mermaid tail blanket with her beloved monkey and a brand-new dinosaur, a ring of pink food coloring around her mouth in spite of vigorous scrubbing, and a contented smile on her face. Courtney rubs her back in circles, marveling at how big she’s getting.
“Tell me about it,” Bianca says, settling in beside them and pressing a soft kiss to Courtney’s cheek.
“It’s pretty cool, seeing her turn into like…a real person,” Courtney replies.
Bianca smiles, touching Ruby’s cheek gently. “Yeah. Sometimes I look at her and wonder where my baby went.”
“She’ll always be your baby,” Courtney assures her.
“Mmm…you think she had fun today?”
“She had so much fun. You did a great job.”
“You too,” Bianca says, reaching over to lace her fingers with Courtney’s, loving the soft and warm look in her eyes. She lays her head down on the pillow, eyes still locked together. “I guess we’re letting her sleep here tonight, huh?”
“Birthday treat,” Courtney laughs.
“Mmkay,” Bianca says, too tired to argue, even though they spent months last year getting her to finally sleep in her own bed. “G’night…”
“G’night babe,” Courtney replies, leaning over Ruby to kiss Bianca one last time before switching off the lamp. “I love you.”