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Namjoon met him at one of the vintage art gallery he frequents.
Seokjin knows because he has the vivid memory of Namjoon coming home with a big smile that Jin loves more than anything in this world
" I met this really cool guy at the gallery" Namjoon said.
And when Seokjin had further asked about it, Namjoon had went on about the meaningful conversations they had had about art.
" I have met someone who is as interested as me with Art. Seriously Hyung, you would love him. He is a lawyer by profession but we have so much in common" Seokjin had listened Namjoon ramble on.
See, Seokjin trusts his boyfriend and maybe that is why nothing had irked when Namjoon had first started talking about him. Seokjin is not the artist type of guy, never really had much interest in modern art atleast not in the way Namjoon or Taehyung is.
And he is glad Namjoon has people with whom he can share his interest and passion. Seokjin will not be some petty boyfriend and it's not like he doesn't have his own set of friends, friends who share his interests.
"That's great Joon-ah" Seokjin had said and for the most part he had meant it.
But He was different. Seokjin often found Namjoon staring at his phone, laughing to himself. Namjoon started to go out more often on their offs, which were rare as it is.
"Stop being stupid" Seokjin would reprimand himself when he felt his insides going all weird everytime Namjoon would choose HIM over his own boyfriend.
They are Seokjin and Namjoon, 6 and a half years together and still going strong. Dating as an idol was tough, dating your male bandmate was tougher but they had made it work. They were the perfect couple to everyone, friends, family acquaintances and even to their fans.
"I wish to find love like you and Namjoon hyung" Jungkook had told him once.
So Seokjin knew Namjoon wouldn't cheat. He loved Seokjin. He tells him that everynight. And Seokjin believes him.
He really does.
" I told him about us, he wants to meet you" Namjoon tells him one night.
Seokjin looks at him a little surprised. Information like this if leaked can end their careers in a flick of their fingers and the fact that Namjoon had told someone so easily is a little shocking.
"Do you want to go this art exhibition with us then? We can have dinner together later." Namjoon asked.
Us. So it's "us" now. Seokjin feels stupid over getting worked up over something so small. But it used to be Namjoon and Seokjin, them. So when did Seokjin become the outsider?
"Hyung?" Namjoon's voice jerked Seokjin back to reality. He saw Namjoon looking at him expectantly and it's not like Seokjin has any valid ground to decline.
"Sure" Seokjin said, trying to fake the excitement he was terribly lacking.
He was really nice, nothing Seokjin could actually complain about. Perfectly respectful and dignified. But Seokjin wanted scream, walk out of the restuarant, tell Namjoon to stop talking to him.
Seokjin had seen them talk hours about the artists the paintings and they had tried to include him but Seokjin simply couldn't keep up.
Maybe he is little dumb for all these, Seokjin thought.
Seokjin stared at the food, not at all feeling hungry. He saw Namjoon and him laughing at some joke he told, Namjoon's dimple becoming visible.
Seokjin gulped down the wine. It tastes terrible, highly pretentious. Seokjin would prefer homecooked meals with soju over this anyday.
"So Seokjin I heard you cook really well?" He asked.
"Well someone had to, or these kids would just starve themselves" Seokjin tried to joke.
He laughed
"Joon-ah you are so lucky. Honestly I would probably set the kitchen on fire everytime I tried to cook" he said
" Ah it's not that big of a deal. One can perfectly survive on takeout and besides we have Yoongi too, he is a good cook too" Namjoon said with a laugh.
And Seokjin took another sip from his drink, letting the bitter taste of the wine engulf him and desperately trying to hold back his tears.
"You are really quiet" Namjoon later says when they are in their car on their way back home
"Huh?" Seokjin asks a little surprised.
"Did you not like him?" Namjoon asks, a little hesitantly.
And Seokjin wants to scream " No i didn't and I really wish you would stop talking to him"
But he had seen how much he means to Namjoon and how greatly Namjoon values their........
friendship, Seokjin tells himself.
They are friends and Seokjin would not ruin that.
"What no, he was really nice, I just don't feel well" Seokjin tried to sound as normal as possible.
"Oh you okay hyung?" Namjoon asked.
"Perfectly fine Namjoon-ah" Seokjin said, knowing it was the biggest lie he ever told him.
"Hyung" Hoseok's voice brought him to reality.
Namjoon was out again and Seokjin literally couldn't handle the raging thoughts that was going on in his head. So he dropped by Hoseok's studio in the lieu of being bored.
"Yeah?" Seokjin answered
" You okay? " Hoseok asked
" I am fine Hoba, why do i not look fine? " Jin answered, trying to fake a laugh to lighten the situation.
" I know how your fake laugh sounds hyung" Seokjin tried to avert Hoseok's worried gaze.
"I am okay Hoba, just tired" And it's not like anything actually happened for Seokjin to be not okay.
" You can tell me anything Hyung, maybe it would be good for you to let it out" Hoseok said.
" Well it's not like something, just I am overthinking stuff, it's stupid" Seokjin replied.
"It's not stupid if its hurting you, hyung" Seokjin felt his lips tremble, his eyes blinking rapidly to hold back the tears.
"It's nothing" Seokjin said, his voice cracking.
" Hyung none of us are actually blind, we have seen things" Hoseok said.
"Am i being paranoid Hobi?" Seokjin asked.
"It wouldn't be normal for you to not to be" Hoseok replied.
And Seokjin finally let go, months of repressed hurt spilling out. He felt Hoseok wrapping him in a hug as the sobs got louder. He could Hoseok's jumper getting wet with his tears.
"I love him Hoseok, I don't know what to do" Seokjin said.
" You should tell him how you feel" Hoseok said
"But what if he thinks I am being immature or something?" Seokjin did not want to look even more dumb in Namjoon's eyes.
"Hyung your feelings are valid and it's not okay for Joon to make you feel this way" Hoseok said.
"I am scared that I will lose him,that everything I have been scared to admit has been true. I love him" Seokjin confessed.
"Hyung remember when you literally forced me to go on that rollercoaster with you?" Hoseok asked
Seokjin was a little confused for a moment but answered " Yeah you were so scared"
"And you told me that sometimes the things we fear the most are the things we need to face the most" Hoseok said "Take your own advice Hyung and talk to Joon"
Seokjin was not really a songwriter but he started to understand why Yoongi found it so satisfying to hole himself up in the studio.
It had been a month since his conversation with Hobi and Seokjin still hadn't talked to Namjoon. Instead he had been writing and even had shown a few of them to a producer friend
"Maybe try writing a few more and we can compile and release them as a small mixtape" he had said
A knock on the door broke him from his process. It was probably the maknaes asking to go eat with them.
"Come in" Seokjin said.
But he was visibly shocked when Namjoon came in.
"What are you doing here?" Seokjin asked his voice sounding more accusatory than he intended it to be.
"So I can't visit my boyfriend?" Namjoon asked, softly kissing Seokjin
"And i bought food" Namjoon said, settling himself on the couch in the studio.
"You cooked?" Seokjin asked, raising his eyebrows in suspicion.
"God no, I odered from your favourite restaurant" Namjoon said with a laugh.
Seokjin smiled. This felt normal. He settled beside Namjoon as he served the food.
"What are you working on?" Namjoon asked
"Just some songs, pd-nim said they were good." Seokjin answered.
"Really that's nice, you have to let me listen to the songs" Namjoon said.
"Yeah I was thinking of releasing a mixtape if i manage to write what I have been working on" Seokjin said.
Namjoon gave him a small smile. " I am always here if you need any help."
"I know Joon" he said returning the smile.
"So what did you do today?" Seokjin asked
"Nothing really, read a book, caught up on some tv. That k drama you suggested was really good" Namjoon said.
"Oh I thought you would be at your art exhibitions. If I had known we could have spent the day together." Seokjin replied
"Ah didn't want to disturb you and anway he got into a last moment work meeting and we couldn't really go to the exhibition" Namjoon said casually.
But Seokjin felt himself stiffen. So Namjoon was only here because he was busy, not because he had missed Seokjin. And Seokjin tried to bite his tongue but he had had enough.
"So I am the second option?" Seokjin asked
"What?" Namjoon was shocked by the sudden change in Seokjin's voice.
" You are only here because he is busy" Seokjin said, his voice cold and devoid of the usual affection.
"What are you talking about hyung? It's not like that" Namjoon replied
But Seokjin was tired of being the understanding affectionate boyfriend, he was tired of being dealt like he was dumb.
"Do you think I am stupid Joon-ah? Yes I may not understand your modern art and big metaphors but I have eyes and I am tired"
"Hyung of course you are not stupid, when have I ever said that. Maybe we should talk calmly, it's just a misunderstanding." Namjoon tried to hold Seokjin in comfort but Seokjin just jerked his body away.
" Are you cheating on me Namjoon? " Seokjin asked
"What? No of course not" Namjoon replied as if Seokjin had just asked the most absurd question ever.
"Well are in love with him then?" Seokjin could see the momentary hesitation flash through Namjoon's eyes
"I love you" Namjoon finally said.
"That wasn't I asked Namjoon" Seokjin said as he took his coat and dashed out of the studio, tuning out Namjoon's calls.
Seokjin came back to a quiet dorm. He had hoped everyone has gone to sleep and he sneak in without seeing Namjoon. He slowly opened his bedroom door to see Namjoon lying on his bed.
"Hyung?" Came Namjoon's sleepy voice
Seokjin stood frozen for a while, not knowing what to say.
"You are back, I was worried" Namjoon said.
Seokjin kept quiet, still not speak.
"Hyung can we please talk?" Namjoon asked but he was met with silence.
" Hyung I do love you, you are my best friend, my closest confidant, the person I can rely on. And you have to believe me when I say nothing is going on between him and I." Namjoon tried to make him understand
" I know Namjoon-ah it was so stupid of me to accuse of cheating" Seokjin finally said.
" No you are not stupid, it was my fault for making you feel that way" Namjoon said. He gently hugged Seokjin. And Jin let himself fall into the the warm embrace. He let himself enjoy the feeling Namjoon's lips on his, the firm hands around his waist. He let himself believe that this was not the last time he will ever get Namjoon like this, the last time he will be able to hold him before he has to let go.
Seokjin broke the kiss and looked at Namjoon. Tried to memorise the each and every inch of his face.
"But you are not in love with me anymore " Seokjin finally said
Namjoon looked at him in shock and surprise.
"And I know you love me, care for me. And I cherish that Namjoon-ah but you are not in love with me" he continued.
"Hyung, we can try" Namjoon said, the tears now freely falling from his eyes.
"Namjoon-ah if I loved you any less, then trust me I would hold on to you now and never let you go. But I love with you with my entire being and that is why I need to let you go." Seokjin said.
"Hyung I am sorry" Namjoon said.
" Let's break up Joon-ah" Seokjin replied.
Later Hobi had found Seokjin knocking at his door, at one in the night with his face red and eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"I let him go, Hoba" Seokjin had said
Hobi had just taken the heartbroken man in his arms and let him cry his heart out.
1 year later
Seokjin found himself aimlessly spinning in his pen as he looked at the scribbles in his diary. This was the last song in his mixtape and he was yet to finish. He was sitting in his favourite cafe near the company, a iced Americano beside him.
Life had went on for Seokjin. After the break up, things have been awkward but they had worked their way through it for the band. Namjoon had been completely respectful of Seokjin's space.
And Namjoon and him did end up getting together 6 months after the breakup. Namjoon had told him a little hesitantly, asking if numerous times if Seokjin was okay with it.
"You deserve to be happy Namjoon-ah" Seokjin had said.
And Seokjin had been okay with it. They had to move on at some point, just Namjoon found someone faster. Seokjin will find someone too, he is just enjoying his single life now.
Namjoon had invited him with to meet the band a month ago and while Seokjin had been invited to join them too, he had declined saying he had plans with his friends.
More like he had convinced Moonbyul and Ken to keep him company that day because he couldn't see his ex boyfriend and his new lover being in love throughout a whole dinner.
Okay so maybe he was not completely over Namjoon but he was trying.
"Excuse me, can I sit here? Nowhere else is free" An unknown voice broke Seokjin from his chain of thoughts.
"Uhm no go ahead" Jin said.
The man was handsome. Taller than Seokjin, his face looked like it was sculpted, his chiseled jawline so sharp that it could probably cut Seokjin's fingers.
Seokjin adverted his gaze and tried to focus on his lyrics. It was silent between them for a while.
" Can I see what you are writing?" The man suddenly asked.
Jin was a little confused.
"Sorry I am a songwriter and you know it was just uneccessary curiosity" the man said giving Jin his card to further validate his identity.
"Oh uhm sure" Jin said.
He looked at the lyrics with an unreadable expression.
"Wow this is beautiful" He said.
"It's not that great and I have yet to finish it" Seokjin felt himself becoming a little embarrassed at the sudden compliment.
"No no it's great, really heartbreaking to be honest" he further said.
"I don't know what to write further " Jin confessed.
"May I?" He asked before writing something in his diary.
"See if this works out" he said giving Jin his diary back
"Wow this is exactly what i wanted to write" Jin was awed with how beautifully he had expressed what he had been thinking.
And so they spent few hours exchanging ideas and talking to each other about various topics. He loved to cook, so they exchanged recipes of their favourite dish, talked about their mutual love for old movies. Jin doesn't remember when was the last time he had felt so connected to someone, much less a stranger.
Finally the vibration in Jin's phone interrupted their conversation.
Joon: Company has called everyone for meeting in half an hour.
"I have to go, attend a meeting" Jin said
"Oh it was pleasure talking to you" he said
"Yeah me too" Jin felt kind of sad, having to leave so fast.
" I hope you finish your song" He said.
"Thank you for your help " Jin replied.
And for some reason Jin found it difficult to walk out of the cafe, to not see him ever again probably.
"You deserve to be happy too" Namjoon's voice rang in his head
"Actually do you maybe want to hang out sometime and finish the song together?" Jin asked, his impulse decision shocking himself too.
He smiled, like a big one. And no he doesn't have dimples but he has cutest bunny teeth that Seokjin did find adorable.
" I would love to" He answered
And Seokjin found it impossible to hide the smile that broke out on his face.