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The first time Emma held Regina’s hand, they were at the beach.
It was an unnaturally sweltering day for a late May Saturday in Maine, and Emma was splayed on her couch in little more than her underwear, trying to stave off her imminent heat stroke, when her phone pinged with Regina’s text chime.
Henry and I are thinking of going to the beach. Would you like to join us?
Nobody was there to witness it, so Emma let her mouth split into a wide grin as she stared at the screen.
That was a thing they did now. They invited each other for family outings, included each other in their lives like a pair of parents — they were a pair of parents now. An actual unit, without resentment or jealousy, not in a long time now.
The first time an invitation happened, it was reluctant. Regina invited Emma for a movie night, this is just for Henry’s sake ringing out loudly behind it, though never said. For Henry’s sake, Emma echoed in silent agreement as she accepted graciously. By the end of the day, both of them were completely bewildered at how very pleasant it had actually been, though neither had ever acknowledged that. Instead, they started including each other in their activities with Henry, wordlessly reaching out time and time again, until calling each other became a reflex and they spent more days off together than not.
It was all Emma never knew she wanted, until she started wanting more. She could be content for the rest of her life like this — as the other mother, as the friend — but she craved so much more than that. Lover was the word tumbling through her thoughts most often, right after partner.
And there were times where she would spend the whole day with her tiny family, and the sun would be setting, and they’d laze around together, winding down for the night, and Emma could swear she felt something… something lurking in the air behind her back, just over her shoulder. Something she couldn’t be sure was tangible, but she felt it. Something boring into her, like longing.
But Emma never had the courage to really look in that direction. She wanted to, but…
Maybe one day.
I’ll be right over, she texted back and went to change her clothes, packing a bag as she did.
They squeezed into Regina’s Benz when Emma arrived, and set off for the local beach where they found an unoccupied umbrella and settled under it on Regina’s plush beach towels.
As soon as Henry was slathered in sunblock at Regina’s insistence, he was off — he saw a few friends playing beach volleyball a little way down the shore — and that was the last they saw of him for the time being.
Emma’s eyes trailed after him as he left, and when she turned around, Regina was pulling off her shirt and shorts, her two-piece the only thing left on her. If it wasn’t ludicrous, Emma would have audibly gulped.
“Emma, could you help me apply sunblock on my back?”
Now Emma did audibly gulp, but it was probably quiet enough to escape Regina’s ear. Probably.
And, really, what choice did Emma have? “Yeah, sure.”
Regina thrust the bottle into Emma’s hands and turned around, gathering her hair up, and Emma squeezed some of the lotion on her hands.
This felt weird to her, intimate — but she was sure she was just making it weird in her head. How else were they supposed to apply it to their own backs?
Emma spread the sunblock on Regina’s skin, keeping her touch light and unassuming while trying to remain thorough in her application. It was a delicate balance, really, but Emma nailed it, if anyone asked her.
As soon as she was done, Regina turned and picked the bottle out of her hand. “Take off your shirt and turn around.” She didn’t even ask, and Emma couldn’t do anything but follow the order.
At first she couldn’t feel anything but the shock of cold as the lotion hit her, but soon Regina’s hands were on her, her shoulders, her back, under the straps of her top… It was a lot to take.
Well, if she ever did wonder how this might have felt — she didn’t have to wonder anymore.
Regina patted her on her shoulder, letting her know she was done, and when Emma turned around, Regina was already applying the sunblock to her own front. Emma turned back around. She’d just wait until Regina was done.
She covered the rest of her body in the sunblock as soon as Regina was done with it, and then they both settled down to relax.
The weather was much easier to bear at the beach, under the umbrella with the ocean breeze cooling them down, and they spent the better part of an hour like this — Regina reclined, reading a book, and Emma fidgeting, switching her position every five minutes as she went from scrolling on her phone to rooting through her bag for snacks and back.
Finally, Regina couldn’t take it.
“Emma, is there a reason why you can’t sit back and relax?”
Emma’s head snapped up and her cheeks flushed. She wasn’t aware she had been bothering Regina. She was just… restless. Filled with tense energy, the one that came from hot sunshine and salty spray of the ocean — it occupied her, made her want to run and laugh and jump. How could anyone just sit there and read a book was beyond her.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. It’s just— Never mind. Sorry.”
“Emma, it’s fine. What is it?”
Her cheeks still burned, not helped in the least by the heat radiating up from the scalding sand all around them, and maybe it was the heat that was getting to her, but—
“We should take a dip in the water.”
Regina gave her an incredulous glare. “No. I won’t be stepping foot in there. You can go.”
Regina looked deadly serious, but all Emma could see was a challenge, one that gripped her enough to forget herself completely. Regina went back to her book with a scoff, and Emma grinned. Game on.
She stood up as she took a sip from her water bottle, and then she slowly inched her way over to Regina. When she was satisfied with her vantage point — she leaped.
“What—“ Regina’s question was cut off by Emma grabbing her by her wrists and pulling her to sit upright, the book falling out of Regina’s hands, closing on her lap. “You made me lose my spot!”
Emma didn’t answer — instead, she grinned brightly and with a shrug of her shoulders she slid her hands from Regina’s wrists into her hands. She clasped them tightly and started pulling her to stand, the book in her lap falling to the towel, forgotten. Regina let herself be pulled, but not without a huff.
As soon as Regina was up, Emma let go of one of her hands and started pulling her by the other, towards the ocean, quickly and firmly before Regina had a chance to fight her, and they were already a dozen feet away from their towels when—
“Stop!”
Emma dropped Regina’s hand like a hot coal and whirled around, frozen with fear. God. She went too far. What was she thinking? She opened her mouth to apologize, but no words good enough came to her.
Regina rolled her eyes at that, but her huff was softened by a teasing smile. “I’ll go. Just don’t pull so hard.”
Emma had no choice but to smile back, still embarrassed but relieved, as she turned towards the ocean. She started walking, but when she didn’t detect any movement behind her she was sure that Regina lied and was going back to their umbrella, so she turned around.
Regina wasn’t going back — she was still standing in the same spot, looking back at her. Emma tilted her head in question, and Regina just smirked, one eyebrow raised in challenge.
And just like that, the slate was wiped clean. Emma laughed then, carefree again, and she walked up to Regina quickly. And when she reached her, she grabbed her hand again. She slid her palm inside Regina’s and gave it a squeeze before leading them to the water.
Regina went willingly, amusement dancing in her eyes.
Emma had never held Regina’s hand before, and as they walked to the water now, she finally had a moment to marvel at the unexpectedness of it. Regina’s hand was hotter than hers, and soft. Emma moved her fingers slightly, trying to remain inconspicuous, and— god, how smooth Regina’s skin was. Made for touching. Her fingers slender, and her bones like polished stones.
Emma slowed down, lost in her internal rhapsody, and now it was Regina’s turn to guide her, pull her by the hand the last few feet that were separating them from the water. Emma was pulled out of her daze only when she felt the cool water lap at her feet. She looked at Regina, who smiled at her before she let go.
Emma would have been disappointed at that if she had the time — but when Regina arched her eyebrow in a yet another challenge and plunged herself into the water, Emma couldn’t do anything else but follow, smiling and laughing and wishing.
And hours later, after Henry had come back and they had lunch, after all of them napped under the umbrella, when everyone was hungry again and the sun was slowly setting, they decided to drive back home and have dinner together at the mansion. And all through the night, Emma was still smiling and laughing and wishing.
⁂
The second time Emma held Regina’s hand, they were at Aesop’s Tables.
It was Ruby’s birthday, and she insisted on inviting them all to Aesop’s to get drunk and celebrate. Regina wasn’t going to go until she said as much to Emma, whose face crumbled with disappointment for just a fraction of a second. Regina was loath to admit it, but there was no way for her to deny this kind of Emma, the one who asked without asking, apologetically and solely with her eyes.
Regina wasn’t even sure why she was invited in the first place. Except… both she and Ruby were Emma’s close friends now. It did make sense on paper that they’d become friends with each other, too. And she did like Ruby — Ruby was the only person in Storybrooke that could possibly be a match for Regina’s sarcastic wit directed at Emma, and that meant something.
So, Regina went. To her surprise, she was having a pretty good time, too. The bar was loud with music and lively with people, and it wasn’t her usual style but it was nice. And it didn’t hurt that the bar was open and drinks were plentiful, thrust into empty hands without delay so that everyone quickly found themselves happily inebriated.
At one point, she and Emma split, and Regina went around the room, chatting with familiar faces — because this was a thing she did now. She had neighbors and acquaintances she was friendly with, now. People who were genuinely happy to chat with her and ask her about how in the world did she manage to grow bougainvilleas in Maine — the answer was magic, and hearing it didn’t phase them one bit. She still wasn’t used to this, being so accepted and welcomed and forgiven. Recently, she’d been thinking that maybe redemption could only come with self-acceptance, because she was pretty sure she was the only person in this town who still hadn’t forgiven herself, and she still didn’t feel absolved.
She felt like she was getting there, though.
She lost her train of thought when someone yelled “let’s play never have I ever!” Regina looked around the room.
No, it wasn’t someone — it was Emma. Regina rolled her eyes at her, and Emma raised a daring eyebrow. Already a circle of people started to gather, and Regina somehow found herself included in the lineup, hesitating about whether she should leave despite Emma’s challenging stare — no, she couldn’t. It might have been the alcohol in her talking, but this seemed like it might be fun.
When everyone who wanted to play found their place, Emma started. “Never have I ever had a surgery.” She received a lot of dubious stares. “What? We should start off easy.” She huffed. A couple people took shots.
Ruby was next, and she grinned wolfishly as she drawled, “never have I ever… gone commando.”
Emma’s eyes snapped to her. “You haven’t?” She didn’t mean to blurt that out. She must have been getting more drunk than she realized.
“What, just because I like skimpy clothes?” She teased with a smirk and Emma had the decency to look sheepish. “Really, nobody?” Everyone looked around. Regina rolled her eyes and she took a shot.
“What?!” Emma yelped before she could stop herself. Her cheeks burned as she brought everyone’s attention to herself.
“Some outfits are just too good to ruin with visible panty lines.” She shrugged casually. Damn, she thought, she was getting drunk.
Emma’s mind was still a little blank when David said, “never have I ever smoked a cigarette.”
The better part of their circle took shots, as did Regina when she quipped, “is this as racy as you get?” David just shrugged with half a smile. He was content to leave the daring questions to others.
It was Archie’s turn now, and everyone looked at him, not expecting much, when he smiled shyly and said, “never have I ever hooked up with someone in this circle.”
Regina would’ve been surprised at his boldness if she hadn’t been busy looking around her. The Charmings took shots — expected. As did Mulan and Aurora — also expected. So did Emma and Ruby — huh? Regina was trying to process this information as she looked from Ruby to Emma. Emma’s eyes were on Ruby, cheeks tinged pink, and when she looked at Regina — then Regina knew for sure.
“This game is absolutely idiotic.” She stormed off in a huff towards the bar, receiving only a few confused shrugs as she heard Mulan continue, “never have I ever shoplifted.”
Regina sat on a barstool and flagged down the bartender. “Whisky, neat.” Her drink was made and set in front of her, and she’d just downed it when she heard Emma over her shoulder, “hey, maybe let’s slow down with the alcohol a little?”
Regina huffed, not bothering to look back at Emma. “Please. You’re not my mother.” She snorted, loudly. Well, maybe Emma had a point with the alcohol. “I’m going home now.” She stood up, swaying a little but catching herself quickly.
“Let me walk you. You’re in no state to use magic.”
Regina scoffed, but she knew Emma was right. She’d have to to walk home. She wanted to tell Emma to leave her alone, but the words wouldn’t come, so she silently made her way towards the door, Emma trailing right behind her.
As she was leaving, her foot caught on the threshold. She lurched forward a little and Emma caught her by her elbow. “Careful there.” She sounded concerned, and it just enraged Regina all the more.
“Unhand me. I know how to walk.” She jerked her elbow out of Emma’s grasp and made her way down the few stairs, putting all her efforts into not stumbling again. Whose idea was it to put stairs in front of a bar, anyway?
She stalked down the street, towards the mansion, Emma trailing right behind her but trying to give her space. They trekked on, both swaying lightly, but Regina was much more drunk than Emma — even though she was still surprisingly poised, her feet dragged a little and she looked exhausted.
At one point, Regina’s heel caught on something again — a chip in the concrete sidewalk — and she stumbled. Emma once again caught her by the elbow and stabilized her. Regina didn’t say anything this time, but she pointedly looked the other way, and Emma dropped her hand from Regina’s arm. Still, she stayed beside her now as they kept walking.
“You know, it was just one time and it was forever ago.” Emma shrugged, unsure if Regina could even see her right now.
“I didn’t ask.”
“It was soon after I arrived here, and we connected quickly in a way we mistook for attraction, but it was just friendship. It didn’t mean anything to either of us. She’s my best friend. Like a sister, really. You know that.”
Regina just scoffed, eyes trained on the ground, and they marched forward.
When Regina stumbled again, and Emma’s hands shot out reflexively but didn’t grab her, Regina sighed. It was long and pained, and Emma didn’t look at her for… privacy, she supposed. She put her hands in her jacket pockets, just so they wouldn’t do anything stupid. But then she felt a hand snake under her arm, hook around it and settle on her forearm, right below the crook of her elbow.
She turned to look at Regina, but Regina still wasn’t looking at her. This was as much of a peace offering as she was going to get tonight, it seemed. It was more than enough for Emma.
It might have been courage from the alcohol, but she brought her other hand to where Regina’s own was clasped around her arm, placing her palm over Regina’s, Emma’s fingertips sliding over her knuckles as she did, warm and soft.
Regina’s head snapped up and she looked at Emma, startled, for just a second before she averted her eyes. Emma wasn’t sure how to interpret that and she was about to take her hand away when Regina squeezed her forearm, quickly and gently. Emma left her hand where it was.
They went on like this, hands clasped over hands, not saying anything, looking only at the ground before them. Emma ran her thumb over Regina’s, and her mind went back to that day on the beach.
She hadn’t known if she’d get another chance to touch Regina’s hands, but she’d hoped for it desperately, and tonight, she got got her wish. It was just as good as she remembered. Regina’s hand was warm, smooth and solid, and just so… real. Emma couldn’t believe it.
She didn’t grow up with much physical affection, so it took her by surprise when she realized as an adult that she really liked touch as means of expressing feelings. She wasn’t used to it, so it still felt a little weird, and she still marveled at it whenever it did happen — but she loved it. Sometimes she wondered if she would ever get used to physical contact being like this, loving and comforting. Sometimes she hoped she never would.
When they arrived at the mansion’s doors, Regina turned to her, and Emma looked at her, but Regina was looking at their nestled hands. She brought her other hand over Emma’s, she took it and slid it off of her own, gently, with care. She squeezed it one last time, then she let go of both her hand and her arm and she finally looked at Emma. “It’s late. Henry’s probably asleep already. You’re welcome to stay in the guest room.”
Emma’s hand burned, stung with disappointment of the moment’s end, but she smiled gently. “Thanks.”
They both went in and while Emma was still unlacing her shoes, Regina was already on her way towards the stairs. She turned for a fleeting second and said, “good night, Emma,” and without waiting for an answer, she went up the stairs, into her bedroom, behind closed doors.
The next day when Emma went down to the kitchen, they didn’t speak much of the previous night. Instead, the three of them ate breakfast with light chatter and familiar jokes, and Emma spent the whole time looking at her own hands, willing herself to recall the feeling of Regina’s in hers, a secret smile on her lips.
⁂
The third time Emma held Regina’s hand, they were in Regina’s backyard.
It was a Saturday, and Regina had called her, asking if she’d like to come over and have lunch with Henry and her. Emma, of course, said yes faster than the speed of light.
When she arrived at the mansion, however, and rang the bell three times, it was Henry who finally opened the door for her, holding his phone in his hand. “Ma? What are you doing here?”
Emma’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Your Mom invited me for lunch?”
“Oh. I don’t know anything about that, but she’s in the backyard.” He tapped on his phone and put it back to his ear as he turned away from Emma. “Violet? Yeah, I’m back. It was just my Ma.” He bolted back up the stairs without so much as a glance back at her. Emma sighed. Just his Ma? Rude.
She locked the door behind her as she stepped into the foyer and made her way to the back of the house.
She paused there, leaning on the frame of the wide-open doors, arms crossed below her chest.
Regina was kneeling down in the grass, digging into the soil with gloved hands, covered in black dirt. She wasn’t aware of Emma’s presence, letting her take in the vision in front of her unnoticed.
The sun was harsh, highlighting Regina’s dark hair with wisps of bronze; her hair that was just long enough to tie it up, a few strands escaping behind her ears. A couple of shimmering drops of sweat stuck to her temples, and she wiped at them with her forearm. She was wearing brown coveralls over a plain white t-shirt — clothing no doubt reserved for just this activity — and her feet were bare.
Emma let herself observe for a while, until the need to say something outgrew the need to look.
“Lunch, huh?”
Regina’s head snapped up to look at Emma as she halted her movements. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, and the sight was so adorable Emma broke out into a delighted grin.
Regina’s cheeks tinted pink — just the tiniest bit — as she looked to the side, and Emma followed her gaze to see a few tree saplings in big plastic pots, presumably waiting to be planted. “I’m sorry. I lured you with lunch in hopes you’d help me plant these trees today. It’s already quite late in the season to be doing this, it really should be done as soon as possible…” Regina’s eyes still hadn’t met hers.
Emma just laughed. Sheepish looked very attractive on Regina. She didn’t care about the deception at all, not when she got this instead. She stepped out into the garden, already taking off her button-up shirt from over her tanktop. She’d help gladly, but… “I hope lunch is still in the cards, though?”
Relief fell over Regina, bubbling out of her as breathy laughter, and she finally looked at Emma. “Yes, of course. Thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“You know, you could’ve just asked. I wouldn’t have said no. And I’d have worn something more suitable than jeans.”
Regina’s eyes drew down to her legs, appraising for just a second before she said, “I can lend you some sweatpants if you’d like.”
Emma stared at her, suddenly thinking of nothing but Regina’s legs as a long uhh escaped her mouth. She only came back to her senses when she saw Regina’s eyebrow arch, impossibly high and judgemental. “I mean, yeah. That’d be great. Please.”
“I’ll be back, then.” Regina got up and disappeared inside the house, while Emma took the time to take her boots and socks off — she’d follow Regina’s example and work barefoot. She didn’t want to get dirt on her shoes anyways.
When she saw Regina walking down the stairs with a pair of sweats in her hand, Emma hesitated — was she supposed to go inside to change, or just do it here? Seconds passed and then Regina was handing her the pants, and Emma went with her instinct — she undid her belt and started taking her jeans off. If she did it with confidence, it wouldn’t be weird, right?
Besides, it was nothing Regina hadn’t seen already. And they hadn’t even been friends then. More like mortal enemies.
Soon her jeans were off and she was pulling the sweatpants on, and maybe this had been the wrong decision because Regina pointedly averted her eyes, and then she turned away entirely, so maybe Emma should apologize for making her uncomfortable—
“Whenever you’re ready, if you could just grab one of the trees and bring it over, I already dug out the holes.” She faced Emma again, and maybe everything was okay after all.
Emma got straight to work. She squatted to lift one of the tree saplings, and— oh, it was heavy. No wonder Regina lured her here to do the dirty work. But there was no way Emma would let Regina think she was in any way lacking, so she gathered all her strength as she hoisted herself up with the tree. God, this shit was heavy. She might break her back. And didn’t Regina have magic anyway?…
She chose to ignore that little nugget of reason — she was committed to showing off now — as she shuffled to the hole Regina dug out, and she laid the tree down as carefully as she could muster. They loosened up and took off the plastic pot it was in, and then Emma slid the tree down while Regina used a small shovel to cover it with soil. They repeated this two more times, and on the fourth tree, just as Emma was about to let it slide down into the hole—
“Wait!”
Emma froze, holding the tree back from falling into the pit as she looked to Regina with urgency. “What?”
Regina reached her hand down, then retracted it as she said, “okay, you can let go now. There was a beetle in the hole.”
Emma let the tree slide down, and then she looked at Regina incredulously as she sighed and shook her hands off from loose soil. “A bug, seriously? Don’t tell me you’re some kind of crazy bug lady or something. Ew.”
Regina’s eyes thundered as she huffed and said, “it’s not just some bug, it’s a stag beetle. You should have some respect. And what’s wrong with insects, hm?”
Emma shrugged. “Nothing wrong. They just give me the creeps.”
Regina cradled the beetle in her hands as she grinned. “Aw, Emma. Are you scared of bugs?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Right.”
“At least I’m not… a weird bug lady.” Emma frowned.
Regina hummed. “Interesting.”
“What is?”
“Nothing, dear.” Regina paused. “You’re almost done, you just need to cover this one up with soil,” she said as she got up and walked off a few feet, kneeling down to look at her flowers.
Covering the tree with fresh soil was supposed to be Regina’s job but Emma shrugged it off. She’d be done soon if she hurried up—
“Oh my god!” Regina yelped.
Emma dropped everything and whipped around. Regina was staring at something in the flowers, wide-eyed with shock.
“What, what happened?”
“Unbelievable, you have to see this.”
Emma approached her in two quick strides, stomach churning with anxiety — this was Storybrooke, after all. Bad things could happen even in Regina’s pretty bougainvilleas. She kneeled next to her, eyes straining to see whatever Regina was looking at—
Regina thrust her hand, holding a squirming beetle, into Emma’s face and Emma let out the wimpiest shriek of her entire life as she threw herself back, leaned on her hands, and scooted backwards in a frenzy, simultaneously trying to stand up.
She’d be entirely humiliated about how gullible she was — and about this whole scene, really — if she had the time, but Regina was standing up too, a maniacal grin on her face as she stalked towards Emma, and Emma’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in — she turned and ran.
Except, she forgot about the tree she didn’t cover with soil, which had tipped over onto her current path, and as she tripped over it and fell, two thoughts flashed through her mind — one: she really didn’t want her death to be beetle-related — because Regina’s eulogy would definitely include some awful pun about her death-trap of a Volkswagen — and two: if she survived, she’d kill Regina for doing this.
She managed to soften her fall with her hands, which— ouch. She rolled over quickly, and Regina still wasn’t giving up as she closed down on Emma with the bug in her hand, and no, that thing was not touching her—
Emma grabbed Regina’s wrists when they were close enough, and pulled her down towards herself, extending the hand holding the beetle as far away from herself as she could. When Regina landed squarely right on top of her, they both had the wind knocked out of them, but Emma recovered quickly — no doubt due to the adrenaline of her deathly struggle with the beetle — and rolled them around, straddling Regina now and pinning her wrists to the grass, the beetle still wriggling in Regina’s grasp.
“Drop it.”
Regina’s eyes narrowed. “No.”
Emma wasn’t playing. She wouldn’t be releasing Regina until the beetle was away from them. “I said drop. It.” She looked at it. Then she trailed her eyes back to Regina’s.
And once they locked their eyes, stillness befell them, and neither said anything nor dared move. Emma thought this moment suddenly got a little too intense for her taste, and she was acutely aware she had Regina pinned under her, and yeah — this was way too weird—
“Okay. I’ll drop it.”
Emma tried to read Regina’s expression, and she didn’t see any signs of a deception. Deciding to trust her lie detector, she lessened her pressure on Regina’s wrists slowly, until Regina’s hands were free, and—
Regina dropped the beetle onto the grass, away from them.
Good.
Emma got up then, and wiped her hands on her sweatpants as Regina sat up. Emma took a step back and didn’t think much of it when she offered her hands to Regina to help her stand up.
And okay — technically Regina held her hands this time, but Emma totally did initiate it, so it definitely counted for her.
And then Regina’s hands were sliding into hers, strong fingers curling around her own securely, and then she was tensing her muscles as Regina pulled herself up against her. And if she ran her thumbs gently over Regina’s knuckles — well, she’d deny it for years to come. Regina’s hands were as soft as she remembered them, soil and all, and she couldn’t help but wonder when would be the next time she might get to hold them, because there would be another time. She’d make sure of it, somehow.
And after Regina hoisted herself up, they stood together like this, face to face, hands tethered, and Emma thought it was a little weird to still be holding hands — most people would let go as soon as the other person was upright — but Regina didn’t seem to mind, and Emma would be damned if she let go for no reason.
She was looking down at their linked hands when she saw Regina untangle one of them and reach up. Emma followed its path with her eyes, higher and higher, getting closer to her face until it was hovering somewhere near her cheek, and Emma blanched. It was reflexive — Regina’s action took her by surprise, and as her stomach dropped, she lurched back a little, startled. She snapped her eyes to Regina’s in a desperate attempt to read her intentions. She wasn’t opposed to kissing Regina, definitely not — but the notion that it might happen was too unexpected for her to not have a reaction.
Regina’s eyebrows furrowed for a second as Emma’s eyes bore into her, and then she was looking away, and her hand was moving away, away towards Emma’s hair—
“You had a twig in your hair.” Regina pulled it out of her hair as she unlaced their hands and stepped away. “How about that lunch now?”
Emma couldn’t do much more than nod dumbly as she tried to process what just happened, but she found she couldn’t focus on much more than the memory of Regina’s hands in hers.
So she let herself think of them — soft, warm, the perfect size for her own.
⁂
The fourth time Emma held Regina’s hand, they were, again, at Regina’s mansion.
Emma’d been invited over to the mansion for dinner that day, and she came early to help, but mostly actually hang out. She thought she’d play video games with Henry, but he said she sucked at gaming and blew her off to read his new comic book, and if there was ever a time Emma regretted coming back into his life, this might have been it.
That’s how she found herself in the kitchen, sitting on the kitchen island’s countertop and swinging her legs as she watched Regina go from here to there, gathering ingredients and pulling out cookware.
Emma felt a little sheepish just looking, and thought she should at least offer her assistance. “Is there anything I can help with?”
Regina scoffed, a smirk on her lips. “We both know this will go much faster and smoother without your… help.”
Emma would have been offended, but… she really didn’t feel like cooking much today. She grinned and kept swinging her legs, leaning back on her hands. “So, whatcha making?” she drawled.
“Dinner.”
Emma rolled her eyes, but Regina hadn’t been looking at her, so she scoffed loudly. Regina shot her another smirk, but then added, “I thought we’d have lamb chops. Does that sound good?”
Did that sound good? Was Regina joking? “Hell yeah. It sounds amazing. I’m kinda starving already.”
Regina didn’t lift her eyes off of the counter she was working on, but she smiled and her eyes crinkled and Emma once again thought this might be the prettiest vision she’d ever got to lay her eyes upon — Regina abashed like that, pleased with Emma, and ducking her head in a vain attempt to hide the happy twinkle in her eye.
Emma wished she could see this kind of Regina every minute of every day. There’d been a period of time in her life where she’d tried to capture it on a photo — just so she could look at her like this forever. It was those few months when she’d carried a little point-and-shoot with her everywhere under the pretense of learning photography, and she’d snap pictures of Regina any chance she got, but none of them ever turned out right.
It might have been the lack of Emma’s photography skill, but no, she didn’t believe so — Emma was sure that the sparkle of happiness in Regina’s eyes, the love hiding in the creases of her eyes, the delight curving her lips, well… they were just too ethereal for something as soulless as a camera lens to capture.
She’d resigned herself, then, to only ever being able to see this Regina fleetingly — but it was for the best. That way, Emma would never run out of reasons to keep pulling these looks out of her. And each time she succeeded, something inside Emma swelled, filled her up with tenderness to the point she thought she just might burst. And sometimes she thought that maybe that was the key to Regina’s unearthly beauty — maybe it wasn’t about Regina at all, but about Emma’s… feelings.
She never let herself think about it for too long, though.
Emma snapped out of her trance and looked to Regina, who had already managed to prepare the marinade and mix it in with the meat. Her sudden head movement caught Regina’s eye, and she turned to Emma then and said, “you’re suspiciously quiet.”
Emma didn’t know how she could possibly answer that without saying I’ve been thinking about how you take my breath away, so she deflected. “Maybe I should help you out after all, hm? What can I do?”
Regina raised her eyebrow, but she let the change of topic slide. She pointed to the pantry. “There should be some almonds there for the salad, if you could bring them.”
Emma slid down from the counter and went to search — she found them easily, and when she came back, Regina was concentrated on cutting vegetables, and Emma had the sudden compulsion to see that smile on her again.
“I can catch these in my mouth, you know?” She grinned and took out a fistful of almonds. She threw one up in the air and tried to catch it, but it bounced off of her cheek and landed on the floor, somewhere under the cabinets. Regina’s gaze trailed from where the nut disappeared up to Emma’s face, her eyes narrowed with murderous intent. Emma lifted her hand in a gesture she hoped was placating. “I’ll pick it up later, I promise.”
Regina went back to cutting the vegetables with a huff, and Emma sighed. “I really can catch it. Watch me.” She threw another one up in the air, but she completely misaimed her throw, and she lurched forward, head turned towards the ceiling in a desperate attempt to catch the almond, until she bumped into—
Regina hissed sharply and Emma’s eyes snapped down to her. Regina was clutching her hand, drops of blood seeping from between her fingers, and Emma’s stomach sunk.
“Fuck. Shit, shit, shit. I’m so sorry, here, let me—“ Emma grabbed Regina’s clasped hands and dragged them over the sink. She could feel adrenaline coursing through her now, threatening to morph into pure panic. She turned on the faucet and ran Regina’s hand under the cool water so she could see the wound.
Her voice trembled with anxiety when she asked, “Regina, do you have a first aid kit or something? This really should be patched up.”
Regina looked at her, much too calm in this situation, but Emma didn’t have time to focus on that fact while she was spiraling enough for them both. Regina said slowly, “no, I don’t—“
Emma interrupted her. “I think we should go to the hospital. You should see a cosmetic surgeon and get stitches for this.“
Regina rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Emma, Storybrooke doesn’t even have a cosmetic surgeon.”
Shit. Emma really stepped in it this time. “I’ll drive you outside of Storybrooke, then. Or should I just call nine-one-one? I think I should—“
“Emma.“
“I’m so sorry, Regina. Really, I’m so sorry. Let’s go, quickly, I’ll drive you—“
“Emma.”
Emma’s head snapped up to look at Regina at her sharp tone. She braced herself for scolding, but Regina’s expression was… amused?
“Emma, you do remember that you have magic? You could just heal me?”
Oh.
Emma flushed bright red, but couldn’t care much about her embarrassment thanks to the wave of relief she felt as panic drained out of her.
“Right. I’ll just…” She brought Regina’s hand closer to herself and put her own on top of it, gently, as she closed her eyes. She focused, calling up her magic from within her, and she cleared her mind of everything but healing Regina. When she felt the familiar energy in the air, Regina inhaled deeply as Emma exhaled heavily with relief.
Emma brushed her thumb across Regina’s hand where the wound had been just seconds before, and then took her hand off of hers, but didn’t let go yet. Before she knew it — on an impulse — she was bringing her lips down to Regina’s hand, and she ghosted them slowly over her knuckles, leaving a kiss on the skin where her thumb had just been.
If she’d thought holding Regina’s hands was great, well… kissing them really couldn’t be described with words. And Emma was willing to concede that maybe it wasn’t so much about kissing her hands, but more about kissing Regina at all.
She didn’t have much time to ponder that before she opened her eyes, and found Regina’s own were boring intensely into her. It didn’t even seem like she was breathing. Emma flushed again, even harder than before, if that was even possible. She lowered their hands carefully and released Regina’s with a small pat. “Just to make it feel better.” She shrugged.
Before Regina could do or say anything in her stupor, Emma was stepping away from her, towards the cutting board. “I’ll just clean this up and we can continue cooking.”
As she turned away, the weird moment they’d been in was broken, and they managed to get back into their rhythm easily.
They cooked and ate with Henry, who suggested they watch tv after. And when Henry got sleepy and disappeared upstairs, it was just them two on the couch, and Regina got up suddenly. “I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
When Regina left, Emma decided to go to the kitchen and grab them both something to drink. As she entered, the bag of almonds still on the counter caught her attention and she remembered — she dropped an almond under one of the cupboards.
She kneeled down between the cupboards and the kitchen island and put her head down to the ground, trying to spot the stray nut. As she was looking — she really could use a flashlight — she heard Regina call out in the living room, “Emma?”
“In the kitchen!”
She heard Regina walk in. “Oh. For a second I thought you’d left.” She sounded relieved. “What are you doing?”
“I’m looking for that almond I dropped,” Emma said, her head still glued to the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she saw two feet approach her as Regina rounded the kitchen island.
“Leave it. I’ll find it tomorrow.”
Emma looked up at Regina questioningly, but when Regina said nothing else, she hoisted herself up off the floor until she was standing up, a little closer to Regina than she intended.
She glanced at her and the look in Regina’s eye made her completely lose any of the words she might have said. The air thickened all of a sudden and— this was new. It was enthralling.
And the one time Regina held Emma’s hand, instead? That time was now.
Emma jumped up a little when she felt Regina’s hand touch hers, and her eyes darted down to look as Regina slid her palm into hers, as she tangled their fingers together and squeezed her hand. This was definitely new. Emma’s eyes trailed back up.
Regina was still looking at her, intense and… imploring, Emma thought, and she didn’t even know when did she manage to lean in closer, but she did, she realized, as she looked down on Regina’s lips and they were… very close. She wasn’t sure what to do until she saw Regina leaning in, too. And, well — that was all she needed.
Emma pulled her in by their clasped hands and slinked her other hand up Regina’s neck and into her hair, and then she pressed her lips to Regina’s.
She kissed her, and Regina kissed her back, and Emma was perfectly content with going slow for now, but Regina pulled her in with a hand on her back, and she ran her tongue over Emma’s lip before she ran it over Emma’s tongue. And when she deepened the kiss and sucked Emma’s lip, Emma inhaled sharply and broke the kiss, wide-eyed and winded. “What are we doing?”
Regina, for her part, seemed just as dazed, but she managed the perfect poker face as she deadpanned, “kissing, I would think.”
Emma couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I meant, uh— why are we kissing?”
Regina scoffed, but couldn’t quite keep her voice completely free of uncertainty as she quipped, “did you not want to? Because that can be arranged.”
“No, no, I do want to. I just thought you didn’t—“
“Clearly thinking isn’t your strong suit.” Regina paused, waiting, but Emma was struck dumb and speechless. Regina waited a few more beats before she huffed, “kiss me, stupid.”
And then Emma laughed, quiet and full of wonder, because it didn’t matter what Regina called her — it would always feel like the most affectionate pet name if she just said it that way, in that tone.
Regina raised her eyebrow in question, and Emma shook her head. “Nothing,” she answered, a smile on her lips.
Regina tilted her head in challenge, her own smirk playing on her lips.
So Regina wanted Emma to kiss her?
So Emma did.