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It's become... comfortable, spending his time as a bird perched on Illran's shoulder. Peaceful. Familiar. Occasionally, Veras will sing a song, a melody of chirps and tweets to liven up their travels. Illran will smile, and it will cause a strange fluttering sensation in Veras' chest. He knows what it is - how could he not - but won't admit it, even to himself. At times like these, when the fluttering becomes too much to bear, Veras will fly off Illran's shoulder and leave a cloud of smoke that quickly dissipates to reveal his human form. Illran will stumble over his words and hurry to toss Veras his cloak, and he'll simply smile in response. This routine of theirs is as common as blinking.
It's on one of these days that the pair find themselves resting in the forest, still searching for clues about Aurelia Cavella. There, Veras should be able to find the rest of the Gods and set them free, and then finally, he'll rest. Dark thoughts are interrupted by a gentle clatter nearby - fallen branches and dried leaves. The beginnings of a campfire, by the sound of things. Veras smiles a bit, looking from the clear night sky he'd admired just moments ago as a bluebird to where Illran must be.
"Are you cold? Don't worry, I'll have this fire started in no time," Illran's voice is soothing. A staple in Veras's life now. What would the world be like without that voice? Without the kindness shown in private moments, so unique to Illran? Veras doesn't want to know.
"It's not so bad, you know. The cold. I... don't really mind it, honestly. Besides, we both know that as soon as you start the fire you're just going to offer to warm me up," and then comes a whispered grumble from his companion. The clearest sign of all that Veras is right, and he's embarrassed Illran just by speaking the truth.
"Of course I'll warm you up. You must be crazy for not wearing more than just that poncho, Veras. I keep telling you, I seriously don't mind if you want me to carry more clothes for you. It wouldn't be a problem, even if you asked for more than one outfit and a pair of shoes, too."
"No," Veras's voice is gentle and firm all at once as he shakes his head, "I don't want to inconvenience you any further."
"Any further, huh?" Veras feels the gentle warmth of the fire as it grows and stands from the fallen tree he'd been using as a chair to walk closer to the flame. He doesn't know for certain that Illran is staring at him, though the years together have given him a sort of... sixth sense for when those purple eyes offer undivided attention. As if on cue, he feels Illran's hand on his wrist, fingers gliding gently downward until the pair are holding hands. "Here," Illran offers in a tone soft, as reserved only for Veras. "Si'down, will ya?"
"Thank you," his smile remains even as Illran gently guides him to a... Oh. It feels a bit warm, and like cloth. It must be Illran's jacket, sprawled out on the ground as a barrier between Veras and the ground. A breath of a laugh escapes the god of the harvest, and he makes sure Illran understands his appreciation by the gentle squeeze offered to his hand.
"You're welcome," Illran whispers his response, making no move to release the hand in his.
This is how they've been for years. A comfortable quiet falls over the pair. The sounds of the forest accompany them. Chirping, the soft rustle of leaves, gentle humming from the crickets and cicada... It sounds beautiful. Like a song, written just for the two of them. Veras's mind wanders back to that day in Stagwich when they first met, the welcoming songs Illran would play in hopes to lure out the god. Neither of them could have expected things would turn out this way. Illran was going to kill him back then. Veras was going to die, alone and pathetic. A new God of the Harvest would have been born. The human would have his revenge. Veras's fingers interlock with Illran's. It's cold tonight. Illran must be even colder, without his jacket.
"It feels like there's a chill in the air... Something's going to happen."
"Rain?" Illran moves closer, his shoulder ghosting a touch against Veras's own.
"Maybe... Perhaps we'll learn something about the rest of the Gods soon. Or maybe I'm just imagining things."
"I doubt it's that last one, but I wouldn't be surprised if it started raining. It's not too cloudy, but those are exactly the nights you need to watch out for," there's a laugh in Illran's voice: a contagious one. Veras chuckles softly and gives in to the temptation to lean closer, his fluffy hair resting comfortably on Illran's shoulder.
"Then I guess we should enjoy the fire before the weather takes it from us."
"Guess you're right, Veras."
It's strange, but... Over seven years, Illran still prefers to call Veras by name as opposed to a nickname like he offers so many others. Has he not come up with one for Veras yet? Is he embarrassed to say it out loud? Would it embarrass Veras to hear?
"Illran, can I ask you something?"
"Anything," the immediate response is calming, and though he can't see it, Veras tilts his head toward Illran's face in search of the truth in his expression.
"Do you have a nickname for me?"
"A... What?" He stumbles for a moment, stuttering and leaning away just slightly as if reeling from an impact. Is it so strange a question? "Do I have a... Of course I do!"
"Then... Why don't you use it?"
"Because-! Well... You already know you're my partner."
"But partner isn't really a nickname. It's more of a title; it's not the same as when you call people sunshine or puppy or things like that."
Illran seems to think for a moment, and in the process he pulls his hand from Veras's in favor of wrapping an arm around his waist. He's gently guided closer, and though the closeness tightens his chest, he can never turn down the request for physical contact from Illran. Even when it's wordless. He enjoys it thoroughly, especially when he gets the chance to listen to Illran's breathing or the beating of his heart in his chest.
"I guess... In a way, calling you my partner is like a nickname. At least in your case. It's a title, yeah, but it's also what you are to me. You're my partner - my only partner - and I don't plan on replacing you."
Ah... There it is again. Veras can feel warmth creeping up his neck and spreading across his face, and not from the fire. He closes his eyes with a soundless sigh, focusing on nature's private symphony for just the two of them. Calm down, Veras. He couldn't possibly mean that in any way other than the obvious. How could he replace a God's help in bounty hunting? Even without my full strength, I'm far stronger than the average human. That's what he means. He can't replace me because I'm useful. Once he feels in control of himself again, Veras speaks.
"That makes sense," comes the God's simple response, but he's just as upset as he is relieved. He has a nickname, but it's not the sort he wants. Veras knows he'll need to leave Illran. He can't bear the thought of watching him grow old and die if it means living in a world without him. Even so... Even with the most obvious of facts constantly turning in his head, Veras wants more. He wants a nickname all his own. He wants to hold and be held endlessly. He wants to share a home, a life with Illran. He wants to give his heart and know that it will be accepted.
But Veras is a coward.
Illran nods, judging by the way the fabric of his shirt shifts under Veras's cheek, and the topic is left at that. The sound of wings flapping just overhead is obvious, and a sightless gaze turns skyward once again. These lands don't need the rain, so it isn't wrong of him to wish for clear skies tonight. He wishes for the wind to blow through - proud and kind - carrying warmth through the air rather than a chill. He wishes for the crops of Stagwich to be blessed, and for the Sid Caeham night to be more temperate than the typical frigidity. Veras can feel the moon glow on his skin, and reaches his hand up in thanks for even the subtle response. Nature grants so many wishes... but it will never grant his wish to be human again. Maybe the two of them were destined only to be together for a short time.
"Veras... Once we find Aurelia Cavella and free the Gods..." Illran's voice adds to the night's song again. A new verse. "Where will you go?"
Illran... He sounds so sad, as he often does when Veras speaks of his hopes to pass on soon. The idea of immortality never appealed to him, not really, and he'd done nearly everything worth accomplishing in life. Veras had lived well, and these past 500 years have been enough for him. Almost enough. Veras turns to Illran, slowly lifting his hand to hold the face of his companion. His thumb brushes across Illran's cool cheek, and he smiles when he feels it rapidly warm under his touch. How could Veras possibly cold when knowing that the man he loves is always warm when they're together? Not even the saddest thought - the saddest reality - could break through the way Illran makes his heart beat faster with just the simplest thing as consideration and attention.
"Home," Veras answers simply. Illran's hand soon covers his own, guiding it down until he's cradling Veras's hand like some... precious thing.
"But where? Is there some reason you can't tell me where that is? I could make sure you get there safe, maybe retire from bounty hunting, at least for a few years. I could help you get settled, make sure nothing breaks, or help you with a garden, or..." Illran is silenced by the gentle shake of Veras's head.
"I don't mean this to be rude, but you can't come with me, Illran. It's somewhere I have to go alone. I... I'll see you again, though. Someday. It won't be forever, so don't worry. We're partners, right? You're irreplaceable to me too, even if we stop bounty hunting. You can come see me there someday, but it won't be for a long time."
"So... It's a God thing, huh?"
"Something like that," Veras chuckles and hopes Illran's hand retracts with a sigh because he's been set at ease. Maybe they'll be together in another life, one where they're both human and things like immortality and sacrifice are things in stories. They'll grow old together then. Veras can wait, even if it means losing Illran's heart to someone else in this life. As long as he's happy.
"Well, fine. I guess I can wait if it means you're living somewhere nice. Maybe in the mountains... Yeah, I think that'd suit you. Someplace warm and private, so you don't have to worry about how much you're wearing, or... Not wearing. But you can't be lonely, so you'll need neighbors."
"Oh?" Veras's smile grows, and his cloudy eyes sparkle with amusement. "Will I? What else will I need?"
"A dog, definitely. If I can't be around to protect you, a big dog will have to do until I can come see you again. Fluffy, but not fluffier than you. We can't have any competition here in Perfectville. And you'll need a big garden, with flowers alongside vegetables. Even if you can't see them normally, I bet they'll be nice to look at in your other form. Plus it's boring to just grow food, you've got to have something in there just for you. Pink. And blue, a couple blue ones. Sunflowers, too."
"It sounds nice..."
"Of course it does, I came up with it!" Illran is soon overcome by laughter, proud and carefree. It suits him.
"Right, silly of me to think otherwise," Veras's own laugh is soft, almost meek in comparison. For a few more moments, the pair laugh, and then that laughter fades back to the forest's song. With the moon so high in the sky, it's faded to something of a lullaby now. The birds have quieted, making way for the crackling of the fire to take center stage. "Illran?"
"Veras?"
"...Thank you."
"For what?" Illran's arm tightens around Veras, encouraging him to lean closer again. His head settles comfortably on Illran's chest, and his expression melts to contented peace the moment that familiar thumping of Illran's heartbeat joins the sound of a lone owl in a tree somewhere nearby.
"For being you. For being warm and kind, for giving us Gods another chance, and... For sharing your songs with me. The times we share like this are precious to me, and I'll always be grateful for your company."
"Oh," Illran responds dumbly, swallowing hard before resting his chin atop Veras's soft, peach-colored hair. "You... Don't have to thank me for that. I like spending time with you, believe it or not. Besides, you're stuck with me. The crazy shit we get into is the most fun I've ever had! I'd probably die of boredom without you around, partner."
"Well..." Illran shouldn't joke about things like that. He should know too that this can't last forever. No matter how badly Veras wants it. Illran's life is too precious to lose so soon, or to spend withering away in the company of someone who'll never grow older. "We can't have that, can we? I guess I'll just have to stay close to you to make sure you're okay. Who's protecting whom, hm?"
"Oh shut it, you," Veras is so selfish. Illran's teasing sends his heart soaring, as does the second arm wrapping around him when they shuffle so that Veras is sat between Illran's legs rather than at his side. Fully enveloped in his warmth like this, how could Veras possibly be cold? How can he not picture that life where they're together? "It's not like we're gonna find Aurelia Cavella anytime soon, for all we know, it really may not be real. I mean, I hope it is. I hope we can free those trapped Gods not just for you, but for their sakes as well. But... I'm not going anywhere, and you aren't either."
"I suppose you're right," Veras says, leaning back into Illran's arms. Like this, it would be so easy to kiss him. To turn just a little. Everything would change, or nothing would, but it would be magical in either case. To be so close to the man he loves... To finally tell Illran how he feels... "It's getting pretty late, isn't it? We should get some sleep or we'll never make it to Oxhabor before nightfall."
"Yeah," Illran says in the midst of stretching his legs out to either side of Veras. The next thing he knows, he's being pulled to the ground and laying fully atop Illran. It doesn't seem fair to spend the night crushing him like this, so Veras moves to the side. At least, he tries to. Illran's hold is like a vice, keeping the God locked firmly in place. "I still think it's pretty chilly, so I guess you're just gonna have to be my blanket tonight, okay? No sleeping as a bird tonight, Veras."
"Alright, you have a deal if it means I can use your chest as a pillow."
"Huh? Seriously? That's all you want?" True to his word, Illran allows Veras to move until he's laying half on top of his partner and half by his side, still held close in long, safe arms.
"That's all. Thank you, Illran."
"Pfft," Illran says, his next words an embarrassed mumble into wild peach hair. "You don't have to thank me for that..."
"Too late. ...Good night, Illran."
"Good night, Veras. Sweet dreams."
Before Veras has the chance to count the spaces between heartbeats to confirm their nightly slow, he's asleep. Warm, comfortable, and safe in Illran's arms. Peaceful. Familiar. Exactly where Veras wants to be, even if it will only later. It's worth it for moments like this. Even the moon agrees.