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“Machines make for such terrible opponents, and such ugly dolls.” The Celestial Toymaker said as he closed his closet of puppets. Yet another poor unfortunate soul had wandered its way into his domain. Still it was not all bad. He had a new spaceship to explore. Perhaps there were others hiding aboard. Others to add to his collection.
“No I don’t think I will this time.” The Toymaker said to himself. “If the last opponent was anything to go off of.” He chuckled to himself as he wandered through the bridge of the ship. “Then again it could be a long while before I meet another one. Oh what am I saying? I could never pass up a game.”
As if on cue, a hologram appeared. It was a man, a middle aged man with a receding dark brown hairline. He was dressed in a simple white long sleeved shirt, dark navy vest with matching pants, and tie. Golden cuff links and a seemingly ordinary pocket watch chain dangling below his left breast.
“Ah, do you know the Dalek who owned this ship? The Toymaker asked. The man shook his head.
“Hello Toymaker.” The man answered as he stepped holding up two decks of cards, one in each hand. “Would you be interested in a game of golf?”
The Toymaker froze. He couldn’t believe it, never, since he’d moved to this universe, had someone done it. They had challenged him.
“You wish to play a game with me?” The Toymaker asked. The man nodded. The Toymaker laughed. “And you are aware of who I am?” The man nodded again. The Toymaker eyed him suspiciously. “You know my name but I’m afraid I do not know yours. Just who are you?” The hologram laughed.
“I’ve gone by many names. You knew me as the Doctor, but now-“
“The Doctor?!” The Toymaker gasped. “My my, you have changed my old friend.” The man sighed.
“I go by the Valeyard now.” The man answered. “I’ve changed my appearance, what of it? Will you play a game with me?” The Toymaker was taken aback. How had he missed this was his favorite foe? No matter. This was a wonderful turn of events. The Doctor himself challenged the Celestial Toymaker to a game of golf. The Toymaker collected himself.
“My, my, Doc- I mean, Valeyard, you must be desperate.” He stared. “And I imagine you wish to free the owner of this ship, yes?” The Valeyard shook his head.
“I’ve never cared for Daleks.” The Valeyard answered dismissively. “The one that owned that ship stole something from the Timelords. I wish to retrieve it. I do not think it was on the ship, rather, it was carrying it.” The toymaker raised an eyebrow.
“Stolen? my friend, the Timelords are long gone. Though I suppose you’d want to preserve your history.” The Toymaker paused. “What was stolen?” He asked, very intrigued. The Valeyard shook his head.
“All you need to know is I am willing to play a game with you to retrieve it.” The Doctor answered as he rolled his R. “Surely that is enough?” The Toymaker pretended to ponder.
“Hm… I see. And what would I gain from this arrangement?” The Toymaker asked. The Valeyard laughed.
“I thought that was obvious. If you win, I am your playmate for all eternity.”
“Doctor no!” A high pitched voice came. Seconds later the doctor was joined by a woman. She had thick, dark, brown hair that stopped at her shoulders and wore a long purple tunic that folded over her chest, little golden suns littered the edges, and a golden rope wrapped around her waist. The Toymaker’s grin returned and he too chuckled.
“Another companion of yours? I say you must’ve changed your name recently.” The Toymaker asked. The Valeyard remained serious. Gently pushing Katarina behind him as he stepped in front of her.
“Pay her no mind. Your game is with me. Do we have a deal?” The Toymaker was excited. The most excited he’d been in a long time.
“And how would we play this game? Obviously you don’t intend to come to my domain.” Once again the Valeyard shook his head.
“I will come to you.” The Toymaker gaped at the Valeyard.
“You cannot be serious.” The Toymaker answered. “Even if you miraculously win, you and your friend would still die when my world is destroyed.” The Valeyard frowned impatiently.
“Do we have a deal, Toymaker?” He asked. The Toymaker, too gleeful at the current situation, nodded his head.
“Yes, I agree. Now,” the toymaker snapped his fingers. The hologram began to flicker. “I thought you might be closer to me now. See you soon… Valeyard.” The Toymaker gleefully made his way through the small ship and out the entrance, the Doctor’s Tardis resting just outside. The Toymaker had made his home far more enticing to visitors, or well most visitors. The dalek didn’t care for the garden or the small stream next to the dark brown card table. Or the various flower beds that dotted the landscape for seemingly forever. And the blue sky with not a cloud in sight. Yes, his old friend would be pleased with this. Which is why it struck him as odd when it was no longer a police box. instead the object he’d pulled in from space was a tall, silver, leafless tree.
“What is the meaning of this?” The Toymaker nearly yelled angrily. “Is this some sort of prank Doctor?!”
“I told you it’s Valeyard now.” A voice came from behind the tree. The Toymaker jumped back. Seconds later the man from the hologram stepped from behind the tree, the girl from before followed behind, clutching his left hand like her life depended on it. The realization hit the Toymaker.
“Goodness he has been busy. You’ve even fixed your TARDIS.” He stated. The Valeyard nodded as he got a good look around.
“I didn’t realize you loved nature this much, Toymaker.” The Valeyard commented. “It is very pretty. Don’t you think so, Katarina?” The girl nodded but continued to hide behind the Valeyard. The Toymaker folded his hands together in front.
“I’m so glad you like it. I find the setting calms my opponents, makes the game trickier when they are of mind instead of fearing for their lives.” The Valeyard’s grin fell but the Toymaker’s only grew as he led the doctor to the wooden table and chairs near the stream. When all three sat down, the Valeyard placed the two decks of cards on the table in front of Katarina.
“Forgive me but I don’t trust you as my dealer.” The toymaker nodded.
“And neither do I, but why should I trust this girl?” The girl looked at the Toymaker and then to the Valeyard. He nodded, and the girl took the cards and began to shuffle. She was actually somewhat good. She looked to the Valeyard before she dealt.
“I believe the game will begin.” The Toymaker sighed.
“Are we only playing one hand? Is this the price for having an opponent challenge me?” The Valeyard nodded.
“Very well. Let us begin.”
For the uninformed, golf is a matching card game. Each player gets six cards, two rows of three, all upside down at the start of a game. The first one to flip over all the cards ends the game. The number on the card indicates the amount of points you earned. With Jacks and Queens being worth 10 points each, while Kings are 0, and aces are -1. Like in real golf, the winner is the one with the least amount of points. You draw and discard to try and match the top and bottom column in each row as if you do, the points cancel out to 0. A player has the choice to either draw or pick a card from the discard pile each turn. If you manage to get four of a kind on each corner, like say, four fives, then your opponents automatically gain 50 points. The game starts with each player flipping over two cards and the dealer flipping over the top draw card.
The Toymaker flipped over his left and right top corner cards on each side, revealing a Jack of hearts on the left and a five of diamonds on the right. The Valeyard flipped over the bottom corner cards on each side, revealing a king of spades on the left and a queen of clubs on the right. Katarina flips the top card over revealing an ace of clubs. The toymaker snatched it with glee and discarded his upper center card.
“It appears I have fortune on my side.” Snickered the toymaker as he displayed and then discarded the 10 of spades. The Valeyard remained undisturbed as he decided to draw. He smiled and turned the card to the toymaker, revealing a Queen of spades. The Toymaker gritted his teeth, as now the doctor had a pair. The Doctor discarded, revealing an ace of hearts. The toymaker was quick to take it and match it to his own ace, much to the Valeyard’s amusement. The Toymaker glared before discarding an 8 of diamonds.
“That girl’s name, Katarina…”
“Yes, what of it?” The Valeyard asked. The toymaker shrugged.
“It’s just that I remember that name from somewhere before. I did follow your escapades for a time after all. Yes didn’t she die?” The Toymaker asked. Katarina shivered as she gripped her cloak tightly. The Valeyard glared at the Toymaker as drew again, king of spades. He placed it in the upper middle column.
“She would have, but I saved her.” The Valeyard answered as he discarded a two of spades. The Toymaker took from the discard pile to match the two with his five of diamonds.
“You broke the laws of time.” The Toymaker said. He noticed the Valeyard had pulled out his bronze pocket watch to check the time. The Toymaker huffed before discarding a Jack of diamonds. “Tell me, Valeyard, what prompted such a decision?” The Valeyard closed the pocket watch and placed it back in his breast pocket.
“I was tired of playing by thieves’ rules.”
“Thieves’ rules?”
The Valeyard drew and grinned. A queen of diamonds. He placed it in the upper left column opposite his king, and discarded a two of clubs.
“The Timelords’ rules.” The Toymaker eyed the Valeyard suspiciously.
“I’m afraid I don’t follow. You’ve always broken their rule against meddling.” The Toymaker said as he matches the two of clubs with his own two and threw away his five of diamonds. The Valeyard shook his head and drew a three of diamonds.
“So many times I relied on their teachings, their wisdom,” The Valeyard huffed. As they threw away the three of diamonds. “And for what? All they have done is taken, from planets, from galaxies, and from me.” The Toymaker cautiously nodded. And took the three, finally discarded his Jack. The Valeyard drew a four of clubs, and hissed.
“My companions, my freedom, my life, my time… all that time… the Timelords were nothing more than thieves.” He placed the four of clubs in the lower middle column, matching it to the king. The card underneath was an ace of spades.
The Toymaker gleefully took the ace. He had managed to match two aces, and two twos, leaving the last ace and a king to bring his total to -3 after you subtract the aces. The Toymaker grabbed his final unturned card to discard.
“I’m not sure what the timelords did to change your mind like this, but I look forward to hearing about it, as I do believe I’ve won, Valeyard.” The Toymaker grinned as he turned over his final discard, a king of diamonds. The Valeyard had two queens on the right, but he paired a king and a queen together on the left. And the center was a four matched with a king. Even if the Valeyard discarded the Queen he would still have 4 points. The Toymaker laughed maniacally, not even noticing the Valeyard as he shook his head.
“I still have one more move, Toymaker.” The Valeyard countered, snapping the Toymaker out of his victory. The Valeyard ignored the Toymaker’s discard, and drew. He grinned.
“Now what to do with this.” He turned the card over revealing a Queen of hearts. The Toymaker laughed before looking back down at the Valeyard’s cards. If he matched the Queen to the Queen on the left, that would make four corners. Which would add 50 points to the Toymaker’s total. The Toymaker’s eyes widened with shock, but the Valeyard did not place the card. They sat there.
“Doctor?” Katarina asked. The Toymaker grinned.
“What will you do, Valeyard? If you end the game, this realm is destroyed with you and your friend. I don’t think you really came all this way just for her to die again. Why not stay here with me? Surely-“ But the Toymaker didn’t finish. The Valeyard placed the card down on the table, and then…
Nothing.
The garden was still intact. Nothing had changed. The Toymaker was dumbfounded. And this confusion turned to anger as he rose from his chair.
“What have you done?!” The Valeyard leaned back in his chair.
“I believe we had a deal, Toymaker. Where is the Dalek?” The Toymaker shook his head.
“You won’t see any of my dolls until you tell me what you’ve done!” He yelled. The Valeyard simply sighed.
“Very well. Dalek, appear.” The Valeyard commanded. In the blink of an eye a wooden, two foot tall dalek appeared on the card table.
“Katarina, be a dear and place the dalek on the ground.” The girl nodded and did as she was told. The Valeyard circled around the wooden doll before standing directly in front of its eye. After taking one step back, he snapped his fingers, and the dalek grew to life size.
“EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” It cried. But when it attempted to fire it’s weapon, nothing fired. “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!”The Dalek extended its suction device, however the Valeyard was just far enough away that it was out of reach. The dalek continued to yell, its words morphing into unintelligible noise, and it began to shake side to side. Its eye spun around in circles. The Valeyard looked on in amusement, while Katarina had moved to his right side.
“The Dalek, it cannot hurt us?” She asked. The Valeyard shook his head.
“No my dear. Not when I have control.” He answered. This only confused her more, but before Katarina could ask anything, the Toymaker made his way over.
“I demand an explanation for this trickery, Doctor!” The Valeyard’s smile remained and snapped his fingers again. A small, pink wand appeared in his hands. Its handle was a rectangle with three multicolored squares on each side. The Dalek immediately snapped its attention back to the Valeyard.
“RETURN THE TRACER IMMEDIATELY!” It yelled. The Valeyard laughed.
“No, I think we’ve had our fun. Goodbye dalek.” The Valeyard snapped his fingers again, and the Dalek’s upper casing exploded. Miraculously the Valeyard, Katarina, and the Toymaker were unharmed. Physically anyway. The Valeyard, with Katarina’s arms wrapped around his right arm, turned to the Toymaker.
“Thank you Toymaker, it really has been a pleasure.” The Valeyard said as he turned to walk towards his TARDIS. The Toymaker could no longer contain his anger, and finally, the world seemed to respond to his emotions.
The ground below Katarina fell. Had she not been holding onto the Valeyard’s arm so tightly, she would’ve fallen into a black void. The world around them shook violently, bringing the Valeyard to his knees as he desperately tried to pull the girl out of the hole. The Toymaker, with his confidence restored, walked over to the Valeyard.
“Now, Doctor, please explain how you briefly gained control over my world.” The Valeyard glared at the Toymaker, eyes filled with hatred.
“It’s the Valeyard! And I do not owe you anything! You childish fool!” The Valeyard yelled as he continued to try and pull Katarina up. She was seemingly getting heavier with each moment.
“I’m afraid Doctor, you are wrong. The girl’s density will continue to grow until you answer my question. Truthfully.”
“Another game Toymaker?! Fine! I copied your voice again!” The Valeyard yelled. Katarina only became heavier.
“I grow tired of your lies Doctor. Tell me the truth now.”
“Doctor…” Katarina‘a voice came, bringing the Valeyard’s attention back to her. “It is alright. Let me go to the place of perfection.” The Valeyard felt her hand go limp. Within seconds it skipped out of his hands.
The world stopped.
Then, the crack began to repair itself. The grass grew over the wrecked earth, trees even sprouted up, and the stream was flowing again. Katarina herself floated in midair, up and out of the hole before it too closed. The Valeyard stood up and caught her in his arms. The girl gripped the front of his vest tightly, burying her face in his shoulder; clinging as though her life depended on it. The Valeyard glanced at the Toymaker, shell shocked once again.
“You wanted to know how I can do this?” He asked. The Toymaker nodded. “It is because you and I are the same. We can both turn will into reality.”
The Toymaker gasped.
“But that would mean… You escaped too?!” The Toymaker exclaimed. “But… how did I not know?!”
“I did not know either.” The Valeyard admitted. “The Timelords stole that from me. And they have paid the price for their crime.” The Valeyard turned and walked towards his TARDIS, the tree was still intact despite all the damage. Katarina has relaxed at this point and turned to look up at the Valeyard. Her face was stained with tears.
“Doctor?” Katarina asked.
“Yes. I am here.” The Valeyard answered. “Can you stand?” She nodded. The Valeyard let her down gently and she ended up using the TARDIS entrance to prop herself up. She looked back at the Valeyard before stumbling inside. He was about to enter as well.
“Wait!” The Toymaker yelled. “Then… Why leave? If you stayed here, you could build a world of your own! One without any of the pests that cause so much trouble. We could build a perfect world together!”
The Valeyard laughed.
“You think I’d choose your nursery over the whole of the universe?!” He yelled. “Come now Toymaker, if Galifrey didn’t satisfy me, you think your playroom could? No. This time, this whole universe will be mine to mold.” The Toymaker balked at this.
“You can’t rewrite this whole universe Doctor!” The Toymaker yelled. The Valeyard reached inside his breast pocket and produced the tracer. He pointed it at the Toymaker and the Toymaker reflexively held up his arms to cover his face. When nothing happened, he slowly lowered his arms to see a grinning Valeyard.
“With this, I can. And it is the Valeyard.” He answered as he stood in front of the tree. “This is goodbye Toymaker, forever.” The Valeyard snapped his fingers again, and before the Toymaker could even realize what happened, all that remained where he stood was a pile of ash.
The Valeyard felt the micro universe once again begin to break apart. Yet instead of fear, he laughed before walking into his TARDIS. The time machine’s engines were drowned out by the violent destruction that took place outside.
The Valeyard’s TARDIS control room was Greek inspired. Several limestone pillars circled the room, with a marble floor and the futuristic, white control panel seeming out of place to say the least. Besides the main entrance there were two other exits, though instead of doors they were just gaps between the pillars. One led to a long corridor, while the other led to a garden. After the TARDIS was humming along as normal, Valeyard walked into the garden. It too had pillars though these were in the center of the room with long vines that wrapped around each of them. There were flower beds as well that lined the walls; and in the very center, a small bench Katarina laid curled up. It looked as if she was sleeping. The Valeyard kneeled at her left side. Her face was still puffy from the tears. He gently brushed his hand through her hair. Immediately, Katarina’s eyes snapped open and stared into the Valeyard’s.
“Doctor?” She asked as she sat straight up. The Valeyard nodded.
“The mission was a success.” He said with a grin as he waved the tracer in front of her, however her eyes did not follow it. They only stared at the Valeyard.
“What do we do now?” She asked. The Valeyard held his other hand out for Katarina to take. She did, and the Valeyard led Katarina back to the control room. He specifically guided her to a section of the panel with a small hole in it clearly large enough to fit the tip of the tracer. The Valeyard looked at her, still smiling, before placing the tracer inside. Immediately the TARDIS began making all sorts of strange noises Katarina had never heard before.
“What is happening?” She asked as she once again gripped the Valeyard’s arm tightly. The Valeyard stared at the time column.
“The Tracer is guiding us.” He claimed.
“Is it guiding us there?” She asked. “To the place of perfection?” The Valeyard’s grin fell. Katarina realized he was staring at her. The look in his eye made her feel as if she offended a god. She let go of his arm and took a step back.
“How often must I tell you, you will not go to such a place. As I live and breathe that will never happen.” He answered sternly. If he saw he had frightened her, he made no show of it as he turned back to the controls and pointed at the tracer.
“With this, we will find the Key to Time. Then, you and I will create our own perfect universe.”