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Sam stared at the invitation in his hand. “Castiel, why did you give me a plus one? I know you invited Dean on his own… who the hell else am I supposed to take? You and Dean are about the only friends I’ve got, and you’re the groom!”
Castiel shrugged apologetically. “I know. It’s ridiculous, and I tried to tell Father that dates shouldn’t be mandatory. Who sets that kind of rule for a wedding? For most people he was willing to back down, but for you and Dean… he insisted. He said something about working in mysterious ways and having a plan and that we should have faith.”
“Ugh, your dad is so annoying. He’s not God, why does he keep acting like he is?” Sam stared at the card in his hand. “Seriously, though. All my friends other than you and Dean are online. What am I supposed to do, call an escort service?”
“Tell your online friends and see if any of them might be willing to make the trip for this in exchange for something you’d be willing and able to provide? In-game assistance, flying out to be their date to something they don’t want to attend alone, a one-night stand…”
Sam rolled his eyes at that last suggestion. While he wasn’t opposed to the idea, depending on who it was, he couldn’t imagine just offering it. How did you suggest it without it sounding awkward? “Escort service might be better. At least then if it crashes and burns because of your dad, it’s less awkward after the fact.”
“What are you going to tell Dean, then?”
Sam opened his mouth to say that he’d tell him the truth, of course, that Dean would know instantly what Sam was doing anyway so why try to hide it – and then the years of mockery and the way Dean would likely talk to the escort flooded into his brain. “Good point. Asking online first it is.”
His friends thought the situation was ridiculous. In fairness, so did Sam. He was able to take their mild ribbing with good grace.
MagicMILF: I can do it.
Of all the people to think might volunteer, MagicMILF was the last one Sam would have come up with. She was easily the best mage on their server, quite possibly in the whole game, and well-known for her selfishness and refusal to teach anyone who wasn’t part of the MegaCoven guild even the most basic tricks. Even within the MegaCoven, she wasn’t much on sharing power beyond making sure they wouldn’t embarrass her – “why help my competition get better when I could be learning new things for myself?” “I learned everything myself and that’s how I got as good as I am; others should be able to handle a bit of experimentation and gaining experience for themselves.” The only exception was Sam, and even then, she only pointed him in the direction of opportunities to learn and grow for himself and acted as a sounding board when he was trying to talk himself through something. For Sam, he loved it, but he could understand his guildmates’ frustration with her.
LawMoose: That would be great, but don’t you need to know where?
MagicMILF: I’m not the best mage on the server for nothing, Samuel. I know more about you than you think.
LawMoose: Okay, now I think I need to be a little creeped out and a lot cautious. How do you know my name?”
MagicMILF: Dearie, you’ve mentioned in guild chat that you live in Kansas, and since you have excellent connection, that must mean you live in a city.
MagicMILF: Also from guild chat, you live with your older brother but he’s gone a lot of the time working on oil rigs.
MagicMILF: You graduated from Stanford University and work online, so you almost never leave your home other than for coffee.
MagicMILF: Which is all very good and well, anyone who could figure it out from that is getting into stalker territory.
MagicMILF: But as it happens I live in Lawrence myself, because it is the last place my son would ever think to find me.
MagicMILF: And you have excellent taste in coffee shops.
MagicMILF: Including the one where you were talking to the groom of the wedding about finding a date to his wedding because his father is demanding it.
MagicMILF: I happened to be sitting at the table next to yours and overheard the conversation.
MagicMILF: Until you said something in chat I didn’t make the connection, but it was one coincidence too many.
MagicMILF: As I’m local, there’s not much need to compensate me for my travel, but when we meet up I certainly wouldn’t say no to a one-night stand if you’re interested!
MagicMILF: After all, I overheard the conversation because I was staring at the giant moose with the soft hair that looked so deliciously pettable.
MagicMILF: No pressure. If you’re not interested, just the chance to get to meet the wonderfully intelligent man and have a proper conversation over some tea and/or coffee would be delightful.
Sam picked up his jaw off the floor. What were the chances of this happening? They couldn’t be very high, and yet, here they were happening. He tried to think back to remember anyone sitting near him and Castiel, but couldn’t come up with anyone who stood out in his memory. A quick call to Castiel brought a vague recollection of a woman who had been sitting near them, but he couldn’t remember anything about her. It was not helpful at all.
LawMoose: Tell you what, let’s meet up at that coffee shop. I don’t care if anyone knows we’re faking this, for obvious reasons.
LawMoose: But no reason for us not to meet up in advance and at least not have to have some sort of signal.
LawMoose: Since you obviously know what I look like but I’ve got no idea about you.
MagicMILF: Sounds good to me. Can you meet tomorrow afternoon, after tomorrow’s raid?
LawMoose: I can do that.
The raid took forever, thanks to a couple of new players who refused to admit they didn’t know what they were doing and ask for help or accept it when Sam tried to give them some advice. Sam had whispered MagicMILF to offer to postpone, if she felt like she’d be in too horrible a mood, but she’d responded quickly that no, actually, this sounded like exactly what she needed to cheer herself up.
Coffee in hand, Sam looked around for anyone who looked like she might be looking for him. He didn’t see anyone, so he took a seat at a table to wait. He didn’t have to wait too long before a woman came over with a cup of tea. “Samuel? I’m Rowena. Or, as you might know me, MagicMILF.”
So she was real. This was really happening. This was the part where Sam was supposed to say something, but he couldn’t. Rowena didn’t seem too put out, taking a seat opposite him and sipping her tea. “You were right. If this is how you’re reacting to meeting me in person, we definitely needed to do this before your friend’s wedding.”
That, at least, got Sam able to speak. “You’re Rowena MacLeod, the author of half the books I read for my master’s thesis. About the use of magic in 17th century Britain and why the tradition died out.”
“Oh, it didn’t die out, dearie,” Rowena purred. “We just stopped doing anything publicly. It’s all very secret, and we’re quite active in making sure anything that escapes gets debunked and the person who leaked it gets discredited so thoroughly that no one ever takes them seriously. Which, now that you’re in the know, I suggest you don’t share that information with anyone.”
“Why’d you tell me, then?”
“Because I’ve read your thesis, Samuel. Not knowing your last name, I didn’t know that until you mentioned it, but the coven agreed that if any of us ever met you, we wanted to give you the truth.” Rowena’s smile was brilliant, and Sam felt himself drowning even more under her gaze. “You are a clever, openminded individual, and from knowing you in-game, I know that you’d be an excellent protégé out here in the real world, too. I don’t want an answer now. You need time to think about it, I know. Just remember that you can’t tell anyone, not even your brother or friend.”
“Right. Right, uh… I won’t tell anyone.” Sam cleared his throat. “Does that mean the one-night stand is off the table?”
“Well, it is probably a bad idea,” Rowena conceded, making a face. “On the other hand, if you are going to be my protégé, then as long as you’re comfortable with the potential power dynamics and awkwardness of a breakup then perhaps we could have more. And if you aren’t, that removes those obstacles, and there is absolutely no reason for us not to call this a first date rather than a fake date.”
Sam groaned, causing Rowena to raise an eyebrow. “This is probably exactly what Chuck meant when he said that he works in mysterious ways. The man absolutely LOVES pulling bullshit, and look at this. He insisted I had to have a date. I put out the call. I get to meet two of my heroes who happen to be the same person, and I get an opportunity I’ve only ever dreamed of, AND a chance at a really kickass girlfriend? I am going to kill him one of these days. Isn’t his God complex bad enough?”