Work Text:
The door fell into its lock loudly. Even though it shook him awake, had his heart beating louder, he felt glad. Sasuke was home. Sasuke was home, even though he hadn’t said where he’d gone, and if he’d come back.
That was enough.
He carefully listened to how Sasuke walked through the house. The alarm clock on his desk told him that it was four AM in its red lights. It was still cold outside, below zero, and Sasuke hadn’t taken his winter coat. But he was here – he was okay – Naruto had to go back to sleep. It was simple; he could just close his eyes, see Sasuke in the morning—
Except, very slowly, his bedroom door opened. Even slower, he heard Sasuke walk into his room. He heard how Sasuke kicked off his shoes, how he moved next to Naruto in the darkness for a little while, and then slowly climbed into his bed. Naruto carefully moved to the side just to make some extra space for him. Sasuke pulled the blankets on top of himself, let his ice cold toes touch Naruto’s warm leg and then breathed out slowly.
“Sasuke? You’re freezing.” His best friend didn’t put his ice cold hands onto his skin as a response — there was no laughing, no teasing.
Instead, Sasuke let his head fall onto Naruto’s neck, breathed out shakily.
That couldn’t be good.
“Sas? Are you okay?”
For a few seconds Sasuke stayed quiet, then he hoarsely said: “Shut up.”
Naruto did. He didn’t know what to say, anyway. He felt Sasuke’s forehead against his neck, Sasuke’s toes against his leg, Sasuke’s fingers on his hip just a little. If this was what Sasuke needed — it didn’t matter what Sasuke needed, Naruto would give it to him. Anything.
Carefully, Sasuke straightened his fingers and gripped Naruto’s hip. He pulled himself against Naruto’s body just a little more. Naruto’s chest erupted. Sasuke moved closer, rolled his hip lightly, grinding against Naruto. Then, he pressed his face into Naruto’s back and breathed out.
Okay. So that was something.
He loved the feeling Sasuke’s touch was giving him and still he hoped — he hoped he could hold the other’s cold hands against his chest, rub his ears and cheeks to warm them.
Instead, he focused on Sasuke’s crotch against his ass, and the grip on his hip, and Sasuke softly whispering– “The world sucks.”
Ah– he couldn’t believe that he was getting hard if this was the state Sasuke was in. “No–”
Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hip a little tighter, pressed himself against Naruto roughly, then slowly brought his lips to Naruto’s neck and kissed him there. Fuck. Naruto breathed out a soft whimper. “If I’d tell anyone how stupidly I trust you, they’ll laugh at me,” Sasuke whispered. He slid his nose onto Naruto’s neck, then his ear. He put his lip around Naruto’s earlobe.
The warm eruptions Naruto had felt were slowly sinking to his stomach. They were heavy. He didn’t want them there; he wanted them to be light. He wanted butterflies in his chest for Sasuke, the ones he always felt. Not this brick of an emotion.
Sasuke moved his fingers away from Naruto’s hip, slowly slid them underneath Naruto’s underwear. Naruto carefully breathed out, his dick hard and right next to Sasuke’s cold fingers. “See? You’d let me fuck this up this easily– just like this–”
“Shut up.” He turned around. Sasuke was looking at him through swollen, wide eyes. As if he hadn’t expected him to face him Or, even worse, as if he expected Naruto to hit him as soon as he did. “We’re not fucking anything up.”
Sasuke just stared into his eyes. Naruto didn’t want to see the redness of them, didn’t want to see how much Sasuke had cried on his way home. On his way to him.
He wanted to get Sasuke’s cold fingers on him without those awful words. He wanted Sasuke to smile like they often did when having their first coffee of the day together– like Naruto was stupid, and he adored it. He wanted Sasuke to choose to stay in one room — even if they had two — without all this pain.
“Sas, don’t fucking compare me to the assholes of your past.”
“I know you don’t mean to–”
Naruto brought his hands up to Sasuke’s face, placed it on Sasuke’s cheek just so the others wouldn’t look away. “I’m not leaving.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Literally is. We live together. We’ve been friends since forever. I’ll fucking beat your ex up, and your brother and your dad at that–”
Sasuke interrupted him. “You’re hard.”
“I–” Naruto stared at Sasuke. “Yes? I am. What does that have to do with anything?”
Sasuke closed his eyes, frowned slightly and swallowed heavily. He often did that when saying something he didn’t want to say. “You were willing to ruin this.”
“Okay, fuck this.” Naruto sat up. He turned over to where Sasuke was laying, getting on his knees and leaning over Sasuke. Sasuke was still staring, his eyes still red rimmed. “I’m not leaving. If you touch me, I’m going to react. You don’t suddenly turn into a stranger when I get hard. I know this might be a newsflash for you, asshole– but I actually believe in loving someone.”
“What?”
Naruto got up, his eyes heavy with sleep but his body restless. Fuck, his heart was hurting his whole chest. He pushed his dick down. He had to calm down. Now was not the moment. God, he felt so restless. “You know that if you touch me like that, I’ll assume you… want that. That you might like it. Or me.”
Sasuke looked away, towards the black nothing of Naruto’s room. Maybe at the door, in hope of finding an escape.
“You’re just trying to push me away,” Naruto continued. “Why are you trying to prove I’m the bad guy?”
Sasuke sat up. He stared at Naruto. “I’m– sorry I just thought–”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”
Naruto sighed. “Did someone tell you that I’m going to leave? Or did you think of that yourself?”
Sasuke didn’t reply. He just stared at Naruto with those dark and tired eyes. He scratched his own finger nails, looked down.
“Right, okay. Sasuke, listen up–” He moved a little closer to Sasuke. He didn’t want this distance between the two of them. He’d prove all of these thoughts in Sasuke’s head wrong. He just had to–
Sasuke wrapped his own arms around himself tightly. “I– My mind just– If I tell you my feelings, you’ll leave. Maybe use me. If I’m lucky.”
“You know me so much better than that.”
Sasuke closed his eyes, just so he didn’t have to look at Naruto. “You won’t tell me, I know that. You’re too kind. And you’ll fucking try, too, for me– until it gets awkward, and you realise that this is too much work. I won’t blame you.”
“Sasuke. Listen to me and shut up for a second. I’m not going to leave.”
“No, you just let me touch you without wanting it. Way to let me walk all over you–”
“Sasuke– I’m– I want that. You’re allowed to do that.”
“You never express your boundaries, you just let me–”
“Sasuke!” They fell into silence. For a second Naruto even surprised himself. “You want my fucking boundaries? My feelings? I’m so in love with you that it hurts.” He placed his hand on Sasuke’s leg, covered by Naruto’s still-warm blanket. “And you’re ignoring my feelings, and everything I say.”
Sasuke stared at him. Silently. He pulled his arms around himself a little more, seeming to become even smaller.
“And–” Naruto’s voice felt hoarse. He hated this. He wanted butterflies, and Sasuke softly kissing his neck. He wanted to wake up in the morning and make Sasuke a cup of disgustingly strong coffee. “If you don’t return those feelings, nothing will change. I’ll still be your best friend. But you deserve to know. I’m not going anywhere. Stop trying to test me.” Naruto swallowed. “Please,” he added, because he was hurt. He was hurt, and tired.
He just wanted Sasuke to fucking trust him.
Sasuke just looked at him. His face stood as if he was crying, even though he wasn’t. Naruto placed his hands on Sasuke’s lap, open for him to take. Sasuke unwrapped himself, carefully placed his hand in Naruto’s and intertwined their fingers. He stared at their hands as if they were the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.
Naruto caressed Sasuke’s hand with his thumb.
It seemed Sasuke wouldn’t be talking today —wouldn’t be answering him. He was glad that he seemed calm, though.That he was going for soft touches.
“You’re cold, let’s get under the blanket,” Naruto mumbled, his heart soft and still so hurt.
Sasuke didn’t move. Instead he brought Naruto’s hands to his face, placed them over his cheeks. Finally Sasuke looked into his eyes. Finally there was some life in those eyes. “You’re warm.”
Naruto grinned. “I always am.”
Sasuke pressed his own hands against Naruto’s, snuggled into one hand and sighed. “Naruto…”
“Right here.”
Then– making Naruto’s entire chest erupt– Sasuke kissed the palm of his hand. He said, against his skin. “I do trust you.”
Naruto moved a little closer to Sasuke, using his free hand to caress the hair behind his ear.
“Loving you–” Sasuke hid his face against Naruto’s hand a little more. “I do, but I’ve done that before. Loving.”
“Hm– it’s okay.” He caressed Sasuke’s cheek. It really was okay. He just wanted Sasuke to get through this. He loved him. God, he loved him, and– Sasuke loved him back.
So that was a thing. Loving each other.
“But trusting someone… that’s new.”
Naruto carefully pushed Sasuke’s face back up, so that they could look at each other. Sasuke was beautiful. He had always been just that, from the moment they’d first met, back when they still wanted to fight each other all the time.
There was something open about him now. He was talking a lot.
“I won’t always– I’ll probably still try to– uhm–”
“Test me?”
“Yes.”
“Okay– Okay, but you– you do love me?”
Sasuke nodded.
“Oh. Okay–” Naruto rubbed Sasuke’s cheeks nervously. They were slowly becoming warmer, a bit more pink. “That’s a relief. I love you too.”
“Yeah, you said that.”
He laughed. “I’ll say it again, fucking try me.”
“I’ve been trying you for a while now.”
Again, Naruto laughed. “Well, stop trying me. You’ve got me.”
Sasuke smiled softly. “These are some awfully mixed signals.”
“Right, I’m the one giving mixed signals–” As soon as the words left his mouth, Sasuke pushed him down. Naruto laughed, letting Sasuke take a swing at him and letting him sit down on his hips with a smirk on his lips.
“Idiot. Go to sleep.”
Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke tightly and pulled him down with him. He rolled them onto their sides, so they could lay as close as possible. Softly, he kissed Sasuke’s hair. “Hmm– I will,” he joked. “Bye, see you in my dreams.”
And even though he joked he felt the world getting dark. Sasuke was relaxed in his arms, breathing softer than he’d heard Sasuke breathe before. He felt the soft caress of Sasuke’s thumb on his arm. Felt, right before the world became dark, Sasuke’s lips against his shoulder.
The door of his room closed softly. He woke up with heavy eyes, a lazy feeling in every part of his body. He was laying on the wrong side of the bed, and Sasuke– He watched as Sasuke put down two cups of coffee on the nightstand and lay back in bed. He pressed himself against Naruto, nose to nose, and stared into his tired eyes for a while.
Sasuke looked more tired than he’d seen him in some time he’d obviously barely slept. He also looked happier than Naruto had seen him, maybe ever. “Coffee is still hot. We have some time.”
Naruto grinned, probably smelling of morning breath, and whatever else. “Some time for what, hm?” He lifted his hand and placed them in Sasuke’s hair.
Sasuke glanced at his lips, pushed their noses together softly. “Up to you.”
The hand Naruto had so kindly left in Sasuke’s hair wrapped around the back of his head, before pulling Sasuke in and kissing him the way he’d always wanted to; in the morning, with coffee waiting for them. In their own room with little words left unsaid.
He wanted Sasuke to know everything that lay stuck between his heart and mouth. He pulled back, whispered “You’re beautiful,” and kissed the side of Sasuke’s mouth again. Sasuke smiled against his lips, something he never thought he'd see (or feel) Sasuke do.
He slid his hand underneath Sasuke’s shirt, rubbed circles against his skin. Pulled back slightly again, whispered. “You okay? Tired?”
“Hm– yeah.” Sasuke kissed his jaw, his earlobe and his mouth again.
That was fair.
Sasuke and him sat side to side, their shoulders bumping. Sasuke was holding his cup in both of his hands, looking somehow amazingly cute. Not that he’d tell Sasuke it in those words but– fuck. Naruto drank his own coffee — perfect with the two cubes of sugar Sasuke had put in it — just to distract himself enough to not drool all over Sasuke.
His… boyfriend? Maybe.
He’d have to ask.
“Thanks for making me coffee.”
Sasuke nodded, bumped his head against Naruto’s shoulder. Outside, it was still cold and grey. He hoped Sasuke could stay inside with him all day. He wouldn’t mind just making out and talking. They had to talk. They really wanted to make out.
It didn’t seem like a bad way to spend the day.
“Naruto, I– Maybe–” Sasuke placed the mug he’d been holding on the nightstand and got out his phone. He opened it, turned away from Naruto, then pushed his phone into Naruto’s hands. “Read this?”
Naruto took the phone from Sasuke’s hands. Sasuke nervously looked at his hands just so he could look away from Naruto. Naruto started reading.
How to date someone with abandonment issues - setting healthy boundaries and other tips. He placed his coffee away and took Sasuke’s hand in his while reading every tip carefully.
Be patient and communicate. Understand that you haven’t done anything to cause this behaviour. He brought Sasuke’s hand to his lips and kissed his fingers softly. Sasuke tightened grip on his hand, leaned against him.
Be prepared to prove yourself – once you have helped them work through their fears, you’ll undoubtedly have the most loving, giving partner imaginable.
He put Sasuke’s phone down, kissed Sasuke’s shoulder and let himself stay there. “Thank you,” he whispered, before giving Sasuke another kiss against his hair. “For trying.”
Sasuke swallowed visibly, then nodded.
“So… It said– uh– are you my boyfriend?”
Sasuke pulled back, stared at him. “Unless you don’t want that.”
“I want that.”
“Are you– I– okay. I want that too.”
Naruto grinned. He could feel butterflies erupting in his chest. There wasn’t a thing in the world he wanted more than this. He felt so light with how much he loved Sasuke. “Good. Good that’s– I’d like that. Hey Sas, uhm– do you want to stay here in bed all day? And make out?”
Sasuke bumped his shoulder and laughed.
“Thought you’d never ask.”