Work Text:
Soonyoung met Chan first, and that’s where the problem started.
Being on time was never in Soonyoung’s vocabulary. He always seemed to find himself walking in the hallways, minutes after the rush-time of students, his steps echoing for only him to hear.
Then there was Chan.
Usually, Soonyoung doesn’t really care about the bystanders in the hall. Hey, if someone wants to stand in front of the bulletin board like some gawking idiot then who is Soonyoung to judge? People aren’t judging him whenever he power-walks to class with only thirty minutes left, are they?
Fate, as cheesy as it sounds, is something that Soonyoung actually believes in. It wasn’t merely a coincidence that Chan was a lost transferee and Soonyoung was the only person in the hallway that could help him.
As soon as Chan heard his footsteps, he scurried to turn around, looking at Soonyoung expectantly. The sight had Soonyoung come to a halt. How could he not when this guy, who was clad in all-black clothing in the middle of spring, multiple dangling earrings swaying, was looking at him like a lost puppy?
“Hi.” And oh god, his voice was so soft that Soonyoung almost dropped his bag on the floor. Chan chuckled, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “Sorry, I’m lost—I think that’s pretty obvious but um, can you point me to where Hall 4A is? It’s not in the map they gave me.”
Soonyoung took the said map from Chan’s hand and looked at it for a second before turning back to Chan. “Ah. They gave you the outdated one. They renovated that part of the building.”
“Oh.” Chan sounded despondent, looked like it too. He looked up at Soonyoung again, their height difference now quite apparent. “Would you mind showing me where it is?”
“No. Not at all,” Soonyoung blurted. And yeah, perhaps Soonyoung doesn’t think clearly sometimes. He’s not sensible, he admits that. He’s never been this eager to help someone and he had a goddamn class that he needed to attend.
Seokmin had a word for it—down bad, was it? Yeah. Maybe Soonyoung was down bad and he had only met Chan.
Chan’s face brightened as he slightly bounced on the balls of his feet. “Really? You don’t have a class or anything?”
“Nope. Nothing.”
With that, Chan smiled and Soounyoung almost reeled at the sight. “Great! Thank you so much!”
It took a split second before Soonyoung managed to gain back himself. He adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder and grinned. He offered his arm and Chan looked at it with the cutest confused face he had ever seen. “Shall we go? I’m Kwon Soonyoung, by the way.”
“Oh. Oh.” Chan hooked his arm through Soonyoung’s, giggling. “I’m Chan. Lee Chan.”
“Lee Chan.” The name rolled off Soonyoung’s tongue smoothly. He liked saying it. “Lee Chan. Chan. Channie?”
A boisterous laugh came out of Chan, his hand lightly slapping Soonyoung on the arm. “Channie? I like that.”
At that moment, Soonyoung knew he was in deep shit. Down bad, Seokmin’s voice told him in his head.
Chan then became a part of Soonyoung’s routine. As it turned out, Chan was taking the same major as him, which meant that Soonyoung became the upperclassman that helped Chan through anything.
Getting to class? Soonyoung would show the way. Need help with a certain homework? Soonyoung would pull up his mess of notes, sometimes even borrow from other people he knows. Want to meet new people? Soonyoung just knew the right party to attend.
The point is that Soonyoung became reliable for the first time in his life.
“You’re so down bad, man,” Seokmin said for the nth time. They were in Soonyoung’s apartment just because Seokmin didn’t want to attend his class. (Soonyoung didn’t want to attend either, but that’s beside the point.) “So down bad it literally physically pains me to see you.”
Soonyoung snorted. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No, really, how do you even do it? You’re like a hungry puppy being presented with a bone.” Soonyoung ignored the statement. He was not a hungry puppy. He wasn’t, right? Seokmin didn’t seem to care about his lack of response as he continued. “I swear to god, man, you’d be in the friendzone. I can feel it. Oh god, you know what’s worse? You’d be upperclassman-zoned. Because guess what? That’s what you are.”
“Upperclassman-zoned?” Soonyoung frowned. “Now, you’re just making up words.”
Seokmin gave him a pointed look. “All words are made up, man.”
“Fuck off. Whatever.”
Well, maybe Soonyoung didn’t have the best tactic on how to get a guy. Nevertheless, helping out Chan made them closer—they were friends, and that’s better than nothing, honestly.
Because Soonyoung soon found out that not everyone gets to befriend Lee Chan; he is out of everyone’s league. He attracts a lot of people, Soonyoung has seen it firsthand with the way all the eyes in the room followed him. Chan just has this charisma that pulls everyone and they don’t even notice it. Though at the same time, Chan can be quite intimidating. He’s confident, always so sure of himself, he knows just how much people love him. He’s also very blunt, doesn’t seem to care if his words are inappropriate sometimes; what matters is that he’s speaking the truth.
Soonyoung doesn’t mind all of those things. In fact, those just made Soonyoung love Chan a little bit more.
Now, the difficult thing about it is that it makes Chan hard to read. Soonyoung often finds himself wondering which version of Chan he’s hanging out with. Is it the Chan from the hallways, the giggly, confused new student that melted Soonyoung’s heart? Or is it the Chan from outside the hallways, the confident, charismatic guy that intimidates people and takes Soonyoung’s breath away? Sometimes, Soonyoung thinks it’s both.
Just like when Chan asked him for help on a take-home quiz.
They were in Soonyoung’s place, his apartment reeked of the pizza that he was heating from the microwave. Chan was on the living room floor, lying down on his stomach, his legs swinging in the air. He was scribbling on his paper, brows furrowed in concentration.
“This is so hard,” Chan whined as Soonyoung took the pizza out. He scrambled to place it on the table, blowing off his reddish fingers afterward. “All these fucking theories. Why do I need to learn about them?”
Soonyoung sat down on the floor and Chan shifted to give him space. Despite that, they were still cramped up, the warmth of Chan’s arm seeping into the skin of his knee. If Chan noticed the slight shiver running down him, he didn’t say anything.
“Theories are very important, y’know,” Soonyoung said.
Chan looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? How so?”
It was such a mundane moment but Soonyoung thought that Chan looked the prettiest at that time. There was that glint in his eyes—the same glint that he always had whenever he pulled people in. Soonyoung swore he was already pulled in long before and yet here he was, falling deeper into this whirlpool that was Lee Chan.
“They, y’know…” Soonyoung shrugged and cleared his throat, hands fidgeting to find the right words. “They make a lot of things make sense.”
A loud laugh came out of Chan, booming into the apartment, and Soonyoung found himself laughing along. “That doesn’t make sense,” said Chan in between his laughs.
“It totally does!” Soonyoung said with a grin. “You’re just not thinking hard enough.”
Chan squinted at him. “Are you saying I’m dumb?”
Soonyoung raised his hands. “Hey, your words, not mine.”
“Shut up.” Chan rolled his eyes. “I’ll get you someday, Soonyoung.”
Little did he know, he already got him.
Soonyoung wouldn’t say that he’s satisfied with his relationship with Chan. Being the upperclassman that Chan runs to every now and then is not exactly what he wants.
He wants more than that.
Getting together with Chan isn’t some kind of fever dream that he’ll never achieve. (Fuck you, Seokmin). He knows that he has at least a 30% chance with Chan if he dares a move. The thing is, Soonyoung is fucking scared.
And yeah, he’s stupid alright. Maybe if he went straight into asking Chan out, instead of befriending him first like a good upperclassman that he is, then maybe—just maybe, he wouldn’t have this problem now.
The real problem now is that Soonyoung met Chan first, but Seungcheol and Chan are together.
It fucking stings.
More so at the fact that Soonyoung is probably one of the reasons they got together. Maybe if he didn’t talk so much about Chan, even mentioning that he’s Seungcheol’s type, then maybe Seungcheol wouldn’t take an interest in Chan.
It’s only a fucking bunch of maybe’s, of course. Because deep inside, he knows that Seungcheol and Chan are just bound to be together, with or without his rambling. And no theory could ever explain why Seungcheol and Chan make sense. They just do.
From the moment they looked at each other, Soonyoung just knew, that Seungcheol wasn't just another random guy for Chan. Soonyoung had never seen that look in his eyes before like he’s finally found what he’s been looking for. Chan doesn’t look at the people he pulls in like that; he definitely doesn’t look at Soonyoung like that.
Maybe he had no chance in the first place. (Fuck you again, Seokmin).
So Soonyoung smiled, even laughed at the push and pull game between Seungcheol and Chan. He laughed like he didn’t wish it was him instead every second of the day.
Seungcheol and Chan are not a perfect couple, they are too similar to be one. Though they are perfect for each other, Soonyoung can’t deny that. Seungcheol is the only one who can keep up with Chan, tolerate his unpredictable brattiness; he’s the only one who can tame him. Likewise, Chan’s the only one who can put Seungcheol in place. He’s the only one who can bring the Choi Seungcheol down to his knees.
Unsurprisingly, Seungcheol and Chan argued a lot. They argue so much that it’s a natural scene at this point. Even other students on campus don’t even mind them anymore because it’s just natural. It fucking makes sense. More often than not, these arguments result in them breaking up.
The first time it happened, Soonyoung was a little bit more than ecstatic. Chan had gone into his apartment in the middle of the night, ranting about how he hated Seungcheol for hours. Then the next morning, Soonyoung found out that the two were back together again. It happens at least twice a month and it is definitely way more than tiring.
Just like now. Somebody knocks on Soonyoung’s door and he knows right away that it’s Chan, bringing in his Choi Seungcheol problems.
With a sigh, Soonyoung opens the door. Chan’s standing there, arms crossed and scowling. “Can I come in?”
Soonyoung opens the door wider. “Of course.”
Immediately, Chan stomps into the apartment and plops on the couch. If the look in his eyes weren’t so intense, Soonyoung would’ve thought that he looked like a kicked puppy. “What is it this time?” Soonyoung asks. “You and Seungcheol broke up again, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t say anything,” Chan mumbles but his tone tells that Soonyoung is right again.
“Look,” Soonyoung says, running a hand down his face. “If you two are just gonna break up every week then why don’t you break up for good? This doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship to me.”
“But I love Seungcheol.”
And there it is, the L-word. Chan isn’t supposed to say that word; that word isn’t supposed to be in his vocabulary. Lee Chan doesn’t do love, not even casual relationships, none of that. But Soonyoung’s heard him say the four-letter word sharp and clear.
It’s so sharp that it splits the air between them.
Soonyoung crosses his arms and gives him a curt nod, blinking. “You…love him.”
The color on Chan’s cheek blooms as if the idea of love is embarrassing. “I do,” he says in what seems to be the softest voice that Soonyoung has ever heard. “And he loves me too, I know that much. It’s just that—you know, he can be a lot sometimes.”
“A lot? Define a lot.”
Chan gives a shrug, a soft sigh coming out of his lips. “You know, a lot. Like, you know how Cheol’s impatient most of the time, right? And I do love his possessive side but sometimes, he acts like I’m gonna disappear at any moment.”
It sure does feel like it, Soonyoung wants to say. Sometimes Chan feels like a figment of his imagination, ready to pop away if he so much as looks in another direction. He gives a nod, a genuine look of understanding passing his face. “Right.”
“And please, don’t get me started on his groupies or whatever. Always chasing him around like goddamn dogs and you know what’s the annoying part? He fucking entertains them, smiling at them and whatever.” Chan’s now pacing back and forth, arms crossed against his chest. Soonyoung has always regarded Chan as a laid-back person, not really caring much about things, so seeing him like this gives Soonyoung a fucking whiplash.
“Well…” Soonyoung starts. “Haven’t you thought that maybe you two are just the same?”
Chan halts, scowling at him. “What do you mean? I don’t have groupies!”
“You don’t?” Chan opens his mouth, probably another protest ready to leave his tongue but Soonyoung clasps his hands. “Right. Let’s not call them that. Let’s say uh…admirers! Right, you have a lot of those.”
The scowl on Chan’s face becomes deeper. “I don’t have admirers,” he says slowly.
It’s Soonyoung’s turn to frown. Chan, the same Lee Chan who bats an eyelash and has people wrapped around his finger, doesn’t think he has admirers? What the hell are Soonyoung and the countless other people then, a bunch of flies? “But you do,” Soonyoung says.
Chan raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? How would you know?”
Soonyoung still can’t believe this is happening. It’s almost comical. He chuckles sheepishly, giving Chan vague gestures. “Have you seen the way people look at you? They’d kneel if you ask them, Chan.”
“And who are these ‘people’?”
Me, Soonyoung almost says. What Soonyoung does however is frown, open his mouth, shift his weight between two feet, and close his mouth. “Other people…y’know? Like Seungcheol, Seokmin, that guy from the party last week, the one before that…”
Me.
“Okay,” Chan says, nodding. “First things first, they’re not my admirers. Seungcheol, yeah, maybe. But the others? Definitely not. They’re attracted to me, sure, whatever but they’re not my admirers.”
Soonyoung licks his lips. “You really should’ve seen the way people look at you, Chan. They look at you like you’re the center of the universe or something. I swear everyone does.”
Chan is silent for a moment, staring at the floor as he mulls it over. Then he looks up at Soonyoung and it reminds him of the first time they met: Chan looking like a confused puppy. “Really? Everyone? Does that include you?”
“W-What? No! I mean...” Soonyoung feels like he’s going to choke on his own saliva when Chan raises an eyebrow. “I just, y’know…notice other people.”
“Well, I don’t care about other people. I love Seungcheol.”
Soonyoung takes a deep breath. “Right. Well, what I was saying is that you and Seungcheol are too similar. Not that it’s a bad thing or whatever but I think, your personalities just clash sometimes.
“You’re possessive and then Seungcheol’s also possessive. A lot of people like you and you love the attention—I know you do, Chan, don’t even try to deny it. But Seungcheol’s also the same way. You two are just getting angry at each other for the same reasons.”
Chan bites his lip. The apartment becomes so quiet that it makes Soonyoung a little bit fidgety. When it’s clear that Chan won’t say anything soon, Soonyoung continues.
“Why don’t you talk to Seungcheol and tell him how you really feel?” he says. “You haven’t told him that, have you?”
“Told him what?”
“That you love him.”
“No,” Chan mutters, his cheeks flushing again.
“Then you should,” Soonyoung urges with a nod. “He’ll tell you what you feel too. Just be honest. Talk to him.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to him,” Chan says after a while. “I’ll just be honest. That makes sense.”
“Of course, it makes sense. It came from me!”
“Shut up.” Suddenly, Chan gives him a toothy grin. “By the way, since when did you become so mature and expert in love?”
Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”
Chan sighs and stands up. “I should probably go now. Thank you for listening to me. I’m sorry, I probably gave you trouble for this.”
“Hey, it’s fine. Always happy to help.” Soonyoung smiles despite the heavy feeling in his stomach.
“Thank you again.”
“Enough with the thank you’s. Now, go get your man back.”
When Chan leaves, Soonyoung’s jaw hurts from smiling. Maybe, just maybe, if the things were a little different back then, Soonyoung wouldn’t be in his apartment alone, thinking about all of the what if’s.
Soonyoung snorts. Well, it’s too late for that now.