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“What do you know about Kim Hongjoong?” Changbin asks you casually as you gently shovel another spoonful of baby food into Seungmin’s waiting mouth. The name startles you, familiar and thankfully not in a bad way but a reminder of something that you should’ve told your husband ages ago.
“A guy that’s as good as one can be.” Your words are careful, aware of Jisung sitting a few feet away, he’s definitely too distracted by the cartoon currently playing and the chicken nuggets he’s inhaling but you prefer to keep this aspect of your lives tightly under wraps. A slight irritation building over the fact Changbin would bring him up while your kids are right there.
“Later then.” He picks up on your shift in mood and makes the smart decision of sitting next to Jisung instead, teasing your son and threatening to steal a nugget or two.
The moment the two boys are tucked away for the night and he trails in after you into your bedroom he already has his hands raised in defeat.
“I know and I’m sorry.”
“Then don’t do it again.” You sigh watching as he sits beside the pile of laundry on your bed and grabbing a few socks to pair together. “Now what is this about Hongjoong?”
“So you’re that familiar with him.” You’re mid folding one of Changbin’s shirts that functions more as yours at this point. You hold back from rolling your eyes as you set the shirt down onto the bed and turn to look at him with a hand on your hip.
“Really? The lack of honorifics bothers you?” His eyes are still dark, unreadable to surely everyone but you and you do your best to not bite back, taking a deep breath. “He was around a lot too, grew up the same way as me and Innie, but we didn’t spend as much time together. He wasn’t interested in inheriting the group, wanted to be more of a behind the scenes guy but his uncle insisted, or well kinda just made him.”
“Ah.”
“Mmm, Hongjoong’s a trooper, he didn’t put up much of a fight about it and just took on the role. Like I said, as good a guy as one can be in this line of work. So? Him and Innie gonna strike up some deal? I know Innie’s been wanting some control over the south ports but Hongjoong drives a hard bargain.”
“Can’t say I know, your grandfather wants all of us at the house tomorrow for dinner though.” Your blood pressure spikes, because that means Hongjoong won’t be showing up alone. It really could be any of them, he usually keeps two of his most trusted by his side. And one of them is usually him .
“Shit.” The word escapes your lips before you can put together a coherent enough explanation.
“Shit?”
“Binnie.” You keep your tone even, trying to figure out the best way of presenting the information.
“Oh I have a feeling I won’t like this.” He looks like he’s about to get up, already rearing to fight when you’ve barely said anything.
“Can you just stay there and let me explain?” With a bite of your lip you push the laundry to the side and sit next to him, nice and close so that he snakes an arm around your waist and you’re tucked against his shoulder.
“I’m really not gonna like this huh?” He muses dryly as you settle a hand on his thigh, running your thumb back and forth over the soft material of his pajamas pants. You feel him start to relax more against you, sighing as he knocks his cheek against your head to encourage you to continue.
“Okay so, uh. Joong-”
“Joong?” His voice is tight again, accompanied with a pout that’s honestly too cute for the matter at hand.
“Stop it, you don’t care when I call Felix or Hyunjin by nicknames.” You tug at his cheek, having no effect as he only exaggerates the jut of his bottom lip.
“Because I trust them, and know them, and there’s also the fact that they’re together.” It’s an annoyingly good point.
“Okay and Channie?”
“It’s Chan.”
“Oh my god, okay just, can you do your cute petty jealousy act later?”
“You think it’s cute?”
“Stop distracting me from telling you what’ll make you actually jealous.” It’s a slip, and it’s more than enough for Changbin to figure out where this conversation is heading.
“So Kim Hongjoong is more of a problem than I thought?” He’s starting to tense up again.
“No! No, uh, not him…but…” This really was not how you wanted to have this conversation, in fact it was one you would’ve preferred to never have at all. But you owe it to him to be forthright about the whole thing.
“But?”
“Look, one of his men, of the trusted circle or whatever. He kind of, um, proposed to me.” Your voice trails off. It’s probably not the best phrasing, but it’s true enough and you figure it’s better to get that more unsavory detail out of the way.
Silence, utter silence and you can’t bring yourself to break it. He’s processing the weight of your words and you can feel it by the way his fingers twitch against your waist, careful to not dig them into you out of reflex from petty rage.
“When?”
“Binnie it was-”
“When?”
“Of course I said no to him and I should’ve told you but it was so insignificant and awhile ago so it kind of slipped my mind plus we’re-”
“I said, when ?” You can practically hear him grinding his teeth together, your heart dropping when he drops his hand to the bed to grip onto the comforter.
“Er… a few months after Sungie was born?”
He inhales sharply through his teeth, his eyes scanning over your features, his posture tightens and he looks like he’s about to say something a little scathing before he exhales slowly out his nose.
“ Fuck , okay.”
“Okay?” Changbin’s always been on the more jealous side, and he’s aware of it. Always doing his best to curb those moments and do his best to think clearly within a situation. It’s endearing and more charming than you’d like to admit. Blaming that mafia mentality buried deep for finding it so hot when he looks like he’s about to go into a jealous rage.
“What’s his name?”
Jung Wooyoung .
His name sits on the tip of your tongue as you’re taken back to that first year of Jisung’s life spent in your grandfather’s home. You had been worn out from a late night with a crying baby, hiding out in one of the smaller rooms used more for storage and praying for Felix and Hyunjin as they took on the roles of babysitters.
He had come bursting in, red in the face with a cheeky grin and an obnoxiously golden pistol tucked underneath his arm. You stared at him curiously as heavy footsteps clamber down the hallway.
“Can I help you?” He jumped at your voice, eyes wide as he tried to figure out why you were even there.
“Sorry, hiding from my Hyung, stole his precious little gun.” He waved the golden pistol and you couldn’t help but snort at just how ridiculous it looks. The situation in itself is a little ridiculous, two mafia members playing a childish game of cat and mouse.
“Mhm, well feel free to hide in here, I am.” You continued flipping through the baking magazine you’d lifted from Felix before finding your hiding spot. You try to ignore him bounding around the room, there wasn’t much to see except a few boxes filled with old records and books that were long forgotten.
“Ooo, who are you hiding from?” He was a little too quick for your liking, already seated on one of the boxes by your feet, continuing to stare at you curiously.
“My baby.”
“Your…baby?”
“Yes, my baby, my child, the little spawn I spent almost an entire day pushing out of me.” He looked at you in horror at that explanation, only for it to fade almost immediately as he barked out a few laughs.
“A baby, whew. So you’re the old-man’s hot granddaughter.”
Well that’s a new one.
“Excuse me?”
“I thought Hyung was kidding though when he said you were having a kid, the father around?”
The question burned because no he wasn’t.
“You’re god awful at first impressions.” It's too defensive but you could care less, the man managed to strike a nerve in a matter of minutes and if it stung him a little, well he had brought it upon himself.
“You know what? Not the first time I’ve heard that. Names Jung Wooyoung, but feel free to call me Wooyo or Young or perhaps your future husband?” Who could blame you for laughing at that one, in hindsight you probably shouldn’t have, it only opened an entire thing with Wooyoung.
Which was him proposing at every turn. And with the joint operation that had been planned out by your grandfather and Kim Hongjoong, there were a little too many opportunities for his impromptu proposals.
“So baby daddy isn’t around, I think I’d make not only a great husband, but a great father.” Wooyoung sings as you finally take your leave from your once quiet hideaway.
You had shot him a look that screamed get lost , but of course he either didn’t catch it or didn’t care. Most likely the latter.
It took off from there, but at least he had the decency to wait until you weren’t taking care of Jisung, finding you after you had tucked the baby in or in the early mornings before you had to attend to your motherly duties.
“Marry me, I’m serious, I’ll take care of you and the critter.” He had said at five in the morning, the two of you being the only ones awake in the main house. You hadn’t known he was even there until you walked into the kitchen desperate for some coffee and maybe toast.
And Wooyoung being Wooyoung didn’t even bother with a hello or an explanation of what he had been doing there so damn early.
“Don’t call my kid a critter .” You shove a cup of coffee across the kitchen counter towards him, sipping at your own as you raise your brows at his choice of words.
“Okay fine, marry me and I’ll take care of you and the little guy.” He makes a weird circular motion with his finger before pointing upstairs.
“I don’t need to be taken care of, and I take care of my son just fine.” You roll your eyes, grabbing an apple from a bowl and shooting Wooyoung one last apprehensive look before heading back up to your baby.
You had been foolish to think that a second rejection was more than enough, oh how wrong you had been. If anything, each rejection only made him more determined.
“If I make this shot you have to marry me.” He twirled that golden pistol – which you later learned belonged to someone by the name of Park Seonghwa – and gestured towards a few cans set up in the courtyard.
He had made every shot, you left before he could spin around and propose again.
“I brought you some apples, marry me?”
Again you said no, took the apples, baked a pie and told him to get lost while shoving it in his hands.
“Found this book of fairytales, maybe you could read it to the spawn at bedtime?”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his choice of words, reminded of when the two of you had first met and reluctantly took the book. It most definitely would’ve been better to refuse outright, but Wooyoung had really perfected his puppy-dog eyes for someone who basically killed people for a living.
“I think you’d have a lot more fun if you married lil ‘ol me!” You had passed off Jisung to Felix and Hyunjin again, and had hoped to have a little quiet time in the spare study that functioned more like a library.
“Don’t you think you should take me on a date first before proposing?” You shoved another book onto the shelves, you had made it your mission to organize them properly, the mindless task soothing.
Well, supposed to be soothing, Wooyoung’s presence didn’t quite add to that.
“Well then, would you like to go on a date?”
“No.”
“Marry me?”
“No.”
“I get the same answer either way, might as well ask for what I really want.”
“Wooyoung.”
“Yes dearest?” You ignored the nickname.
“Why do you wanna marry me so badly?” It’s a question that had been ailing you for awhile, somewhere between the third and fourth proposal when you had realized he wasn’t letting this go. That he actually meant it.
What kind of man wanted a mob boss's granddaughter who had a kid at twenty-two and a mystery baby daddy. Especially one who’s barely acknowledged his presence half the time he’s around.
“It’s lonely like that, no?” His voice is uncharastically devoid of that playful tone, sounding more empathetic instead. It could make someone’s heart flutter, someone who wasn’t still consumed by their love for their ex.
“Like what? And how can I be lonely when I have Sung, and everyone else in this damn house. And even you, hounding me day and night about marriage of all things.”
“Me and my mom were like that, just the two of us.” The implication is loud and clear. And while grating that he assumed and implied that there needs to be a father figure, a man, to be in the picture. It’s clear he meant no harm, and that if anything had the best intentions with it.
He wanted you and Jisung to have something he didn’t, and you couldn’t help but think how terribly sweet that is.
“Jisung’s father is in Incheon.” It’s a lie, but it is still just a touch closer to the truth. You had hoped it’d be enough to somehow discourage Wooyoung, knowing that there was a chance of Jisung’s father coming back into the picture.
“What? Why?”
“Because I told him to go. I wanted to raise Jisung by myself.” A lie with a crumb of truth is always the easiest you had thought bitterly.
“Ah…” He didn’t sound wholly convinced, but thankfully hadn’t tried to rebuke it.
“Ah.” You mumble back, a part of you regretting telling Wooyoung even that much. It’s not a conversation you were ready to have, it’s not a conversation you thought you’d ever be ready to have.
The two of you existed in silence, you had continued to rearrange books while Wooyoung stared blatantly at you. For a moment you had thought he’d given up for the day, and would take his leave at any moment.
“I won’t be here anymore.” His words for once, had been soft, barely above a whisper and it made you freeze in place.
“Why?” The word is careful, you had kept your tone as neutral as possible, you wanted to sound curious, not concerned.
“Joong-Hyungie needs me to go to Seoul for a bit.” Just hearing the name of the city made a tightness form in your chest. And there was the selfish thought of how Seoul seemed to keep robbing you of more and more things in your life.
“Mm, I think Seoul will fit you.” It burned to say, only serving as a reminder of him . It had felt like a ghost of the conversation from a year ago, coming back to haunt you so cruelly.
“Want me to go to Incheon and drag baby daddy back home?”
“Tch, pass.” Please , you had thought, please, please, please .
“How ‘bout,” he spoke slowly, carefully, “when I get back, you’ll consider me?”
No , you wanted to say, no , because there was no room in your heart for any other man, because there never would be. It would only ever be him, and there was no man, no matter how persistent or charming, that'd be able to remove him from your heart. Not at that moment, not ever.
“Wooyoung…” You had tried to construct a careful rejection, because despite how pushy he’d been, the company was nice and he never tried anything funny. You didn’t want to hurt him.
“I’d seen you around the house a few times and I wanted to say hi every time but I couldn’t.” He admitted, looking sheepish, it was always amusing whenever some tough mafia guy looked earnest like this. Your mind had begun screaming, begging, telling you to let him down because it wouldn’t be fair for him to hold out for you. Not when your mind had been made.
You opened your mouth, readying to deliver that final blow that’d send Wooyoung running just like the love of your life.
“I wanna get to know you,” your heart broke, mouth snapping shut, “ I wanna be in your life. So please, think about it when I’m gone, and consider me when I’m back.”
“I’m not gonna make any promises.” It was the best you could do then, torn by that hopeful look in his eyes.
“I don’t want you to promise me anything, I just want you to think about it.”
“And?” Changbin’s voice is tight, and it only makes your heart ache. You hate it when he sounds like this, hate how it always seems to be you making him sound like that.
“And then I moved out of my grandfather’s, and didn’t hear from him again.” It was the truth, and if you had made a point to only come to the main house when Kim Hongjoong and his men had business elsewhere, that was for you to know.
“And now he could be there, tomorrow.” Your husband points out carefully, and there’s something almost indecipherable in his eyes, but unlike when the two of you first reunited, you’ve been spending almost every waking moment with him, making it easier to pick apart those different emotions. Irritation, jealousy, fear .
“More than likely, yeah.”
“What’s stopping me from ripping his head clean off his neck?” Ah, the irritation and jealousy win.
“Jesus Binnie, what’s stopping you is the fact that it’s been years and you have me, all of me. We’re married and everything with two precious babies and a cute little house and he never will be nor ever was a threat to you, to us.” You’re twisting awkwardly to settle your hands at his neck, urging him to look at you properly.
“You…you liked him?” And now the fear breaks through.
“Not like that, but yeah. I’ll admit it, I thought he was cute but more like a younger brother or honestly, a puppy that follows you everywhere.” It’s not exactly what Changbin wanted to hear, but you know that honesty is necessary.
“He was there when I wasn't.”' It's said so softly, with so much vulnerability and insecurity that you’d thought he’d shed years ago.
“Changbin.”
“...What?”
“Since I was nineteen.”
“Huh?”
“Since I was nineteen and we met under that tree on that stupidly hot day. I’ve been thinking about you, and never once have I stopped.” You pull yourself onto his lap, moving so that you’re seated comfortably and your legs stretch out on either side of him. Tenderly you move your hands to cup at his jaw as you smile sweetly at him. “You, Changbin. Not persistent Wooyoung or the hot idol on the tv or whatever. Just you.”
“Yo yo yo, Jung Wooyoung pleasure to meet ya!” You hear him before you see him, and a part of you is begging that he’s introducing himself to Chan or maybe Hyunjin again since Wooyoung wasn’t the sharpest with faces.
“Seo Changbin.” You cling Seungmin tightly to you as you dash out, eyes wide as you see the two men engage in a rather long handshake, no doubt drawn out by your husband.
“Bin.” You whisper sharply, trying to snap him out of whatever unkind thoughts are probably rifling through his head at this point.
“No way you had another?” Wooyoung’s eyes meet yours and unlike Changbin or even Chan who’s trained themselves to keep their faces neutral in any situation, Wooyoung is unforgivably expressive, wearing his heart, or in this case, heartbreak on his sleeve. “I mean it’s been a few years but wow, bet the first one’s all grown up huh?”
“Yeah he’s, well he’s six now and-”
“Papa! Papa save me!” Jisung’s delighted giggles precede his appearance, the little boy dashing down the hallway and clinging onto Changbin’s leg as Hyunjin with Felix on his back follow suit, the two of them making sorry excuse for monster noises that still earn them excited shrieks from your son.
With a half smile Changbin is hauling Jisung into his arms, declaring that he’ll defend his precious prince from the dangerous monster. And as Changbin engages in the ridiculous not very mafia-like faux battle, Wooyoung’s gaze flickers between the two of you unabashedly.
“He’s…?”
“Yeah.”
“But I thought…”
“I’m sorry.” Changbin chases after Jisung, and it should buy you enough time to say what you should’ve without an awkward audience. “Wooyoung, it’s always been him, and I should’ve told you that.”
“Why are you apologizing?” He laughs dryly, not an ounce of humor in his normally sparkling eyes, “I’m the one who kept insisting and pushing you aha, it’s amazing that you didn’t punch me in the face or something.”
“You were harmless.” You shift the now sleeping Seungmin in your arms, balancing him more comfortably. “You were sweet.”
“Didn’t think your uh…” He gestures towards the hallway.
“Husband.”
“Ah, of course, husband. Didn’t think he’d be in this life too.” Wooyoung scratches at the back of his head.
“He wasn’t.” You reply tightly as Jisung comes running back into the room, now being chased by Changbin, and of all people, Jeongin. “But now he is, and if he tries intimidating you it’s because he knows.”
“T-That I was, er, proposing?” And for once Wooyoung has the decency to look a little ashamed at his past actions, spurring a soft chuckle to fall from your lips.
“Honesty is the best policy.” It’s definitely hypocritical for you of all people to say that, but you are only human. “Who knows, maybe you two could get along, do you know why you’re all here anyway?”
There’s a look on Wooyoung’s face that clearly states he severely doubts he could ever get along with Changbin, quickly he shakes it off as he nods a more casual expression taking over.
“No clue, I’m just here to look pretty.” He says it lightly, quick to turn on his heel and head out the side door leading to the courtyard.
You wonder if he’s playing stupid for the sake of his job or to spite you, and you can’t blame him if it’s a little bit of both. With a sigh you cradle your sleeping baby closer, deciding you're better off looking for your husband and son.