Work Text:
The airport is crowded and loud as usual. The last time Buck went to the airport, he actually didn't go inside, and now he feels a bit nauseous at the thought. But now it's different, now he is there for Eddie and Christopher and they are not going to abandon him at the doors.
He takes a breath just as Christopher stops, Eddie at his side doing the same. The sign in front of them with the word "Departures" informing them it's time to separate.
“Dad, are you sure you want to go? You don't like Texas.” Christopher asks to his Dad, innocent and worried.
Eddie crouches down in front of him and smiles, “I have to go because Frank says it can help me feel better,” he explains, “I will be fine, I promise,” he adds, giving him a kiss on his cheek. “Are you gonna be good for Buck?” then asks, eyes his son with an inquisitive look.
Christopher scoffs, “I'm always good for Buck.” he retorts, like is the most obvious thing in the world.
Eddie chuckles and ruffles his hair, then he gets up and stands in front of Buck, “Thanks for this, Buck, it means a lot,” he says, and Buck can see in his eyes a tumult of emotions.
It's taking all Eddie's willpower to go to Texas to his family and leave Christopher, even if it's only for a week. But Frank said to him that facing his family could've been helpful so Buck sat him down one evening and made plans with him for this trip. Eddie tried to find any possible way not to go, but Buck had a solution for every inexistent problem Eddie had found, so there they are, at the airport, facing each other with a lot of unsaid things written in their faces.
Buck puts an hand in his shoulder and squeeze lightly, “Don't need to thank me. Go and do your thing, Chris and I are going to be just fine,” he reassures him with a smile.
Eddie nods and then takes a deep breath. They exchange their goodbyes, with extra kisses and tight hugs, and then Eddie passes the security and turns to wave at Chris and Buck. They wave at him and Buck gives a thumb up making him smile.
“Hey, kid, you want a piggy back ride?” Buck asks to Christopher, who's staring at where his Dad just went.
He smiles a little and nods, “Yes!”
And they are going out of the airport and at home. It's going to be a long week.
-
Buck is making meatballs for dinner while Christopher is at the table finishing his homework. He has been a bit sulky since they came back from the airport. Buck understands his mood, since he and Eddie haven't been separated more than twenty-four hours and now there is a whole week to go through without his Dad, but he has planned fun activities to do together when he isn't on shift and he will do anything in his power to distract the kid.
While Buck is rolling another bit of meat in the palm of his hands, his phone starts rings. He fights with the meat and quickly washes his hands to take the phone and stick it between his head and shoulder, “Hello.”
“Where the hell are you?” is the first thing Taylor tells him, annoyance clear in his voice.
Buck almost loses the grip with his head, “Oh, sh-” he interrupts himself from swearing in front of Christopher who is eyeing him above his glasses, “sorry Ty. I forgot to tell you, I'm going to stay at Eddie's and take care of Chris while he's in Texas.”
There is silence on the other side of the phone for some minutes and then Taylor scoffs,
“Obviously is for Eddie or his son.”
Buck ignores her sarcastic comments, “I was so busy planning Eddie's trip, and scheduling Chris' week with Carla and Eddie's tia and my job that I forgot to call you,” he tries to justify himself, “I'm sorry Taylor. I will stop by at the loft to take some things tomorrow before work.”
“Do whatever you want, Buck. It seems you already have everything planned.” and she hangs up on him.
Buck puts the phone on the table and stares at the black screen like it just punched him. He knows Taylor doesn't particularly like Eddie - and Eddie has the same feeling for her - but he never heard her so pissed about helping his best friend or his son. He decides that tomorrow he will talk to her in person.
“Buck,” Christopher's voice pulls him out of his thoughts, “That meatball is already round enough.” he points out.
Buck stares at the meat he has in his hands that he is modelling for a bit and nods, “Yeah, you're right. Thanks, my sous chef.”
-
As he said to Taylor the day before, he goes at the loft the next morning after dropping Christopher to school and before his shift starts. He open the door and Taylor is just coming down from the stairs.
“Hey,” he says, a shyly smile on his face.
She passes him without giving him any attention and goes to open the fridge.
“Come on, Taylor, I said I'm sorry. I was so full of things to do, that I forgot-” he starts saying, but Taylor closes the fridge too aggressively and turns to face him annoyed.
“The problem is not that you forgot to tell me about it, the problem is that you didn't even discuss with me about it.” she says, crossing her arms in front of her chest and giving Buck an accusatory look.
Buck frowns, “There wasn't anything to discuss anyway. Eddie needed someone to take care of Chris and I just said to him that I would do it because I wanted to do it.” he explains, like it's obvious.
“Buck, I am your girlfriend. You are supposed to decide these type of things with your partner.” she says, irritation increasing in her demeanour.
“But Eddie needed-”
Taylor interrupts him, “He needed help, I got it, you told me six time already.”
“I don't understand why you are mad about it.” Buck retorts.
He knows he hasn't been a good boyfriend lately, but Taylor can't pretend that he ignores a friend when he needs support. It's something Buck would never do and Taylor should know by now, so her reaction at this situation doesn't make sense to Buck.
“Because you asked me to move in with you after you kissed another person and I've barely seen you home for two weeks straight because you have been at someone else house.” Taylor accuses, index finger pointing at him like he is the most wanted criminal.
“Eddie-” Buck interrupts himself before saying that Eddie needs him, “It was the right thing to do.” he finishes, and he would like to say that he wants to be there for his best friend more than anything and support him and protect him even if it takes all his time and energy, but he thinks it wouldn't help right now be so open, so he bites his tongue.
“What about me, Buck? Where do I stand in your life? Because lately I'm asking myself what my place is. I feel a stranger in what is supposed to be my house, I feel distance between us,” Taylor says, anger becoming bitterness, “I asked you to help me with Donato and you ignored me, but I helped you finding that ranch thing for Eddie and you barely thanked me or didn't even ask me to come with you. I've only been a info point and an housekeeper for you.”
“That's not- that's not it.” Buck murmurs, avoiding her gaze.
“Well, it does seem it, Buck.” she states, irritation back in full force.
Buck takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say, “Look, I'm sorry, but it's a tough time for Eddie and he only feels comfortable with few people and I'd do anything to help him, and...” he pauses, aware that he is just saying the same things over and over again, “Taylor, I have to be there for him and for Christopher.” he finishes, because he doesn't have anything more to say.
She can't ask him to define his relationship with Eddie and Christopher. She can't be pissed about how much they mean for him. Buck knows that is a bond beyond comprehension for someone, but Taylor knows him and she knows what he would do for them, so she can't attack him like that.
“You have to make up your mind, Buck. I can't be the only one in this relationship.”
Buck stares at Taylor like she just spoke another language. She takes her purse and leaves and Buck looks at the door feeling some sort of relieve. He looks around the loft and notices how it seems cold and unfamiliar. He thinks about Taylor's words and the distance that there has been between them since after she moved in with him. All seems out of place in his mind, like someone scattered pieces of a puzzle all around, but then he thinks about Eddie and Christopher and ironically all their messes together make sense to him. Like they are meant to be broken together and to fix each other. He takes a deep breath and goes in the bedroom to fill a bag with clothes. He is emptying that place little at a time but it feels so right that he doesn't question himself while he closes the door of the loft to go to work.
-
He doesn't go back to the loft for the following two days. He sends a text to Taylor simply telling her that he is busy and can't pass by and she doesn't bother to replay. He has enough clothes - and steals some of Eddie's - and he wants to avoid another discussion with Taylor as long as he can.
Work takes his head off that problem and he speaks with Eddie everyday, via calls with Chris or via text. He feels the need to give Eddie all his support even if they are miles away. His best friend tells him that his parents are taking a lot of his energy and patient, but he reassures him more than once that he is okay and he can make it through that trip. Buck knows he can do it, he just wish they could be together, he, Eddie and Christopher, just because the three of them are stronger together. He doesn't say any of that to Eddie, he just gives him a reassuring smile and tells him that everything is going to be fine when he comes home - he doesn't weighs the word "home", he just appreciate when Eddie smiles back at him and agrees.
When he comes from work that evening, Carla tells him Christopher has been off the whole day. He thanks her and gives her his goodbye and then goes to greet Christopher who is in his room.
“Hey, kid, how was your day?”
Christopher looks at him with a small smile. “Hi, Buck. Nothing special.”
And this is serious, because Christopher is a volcano everytime he talks about school and his friends, so something must have happened to him to make him so quiet.
Buck sits in his bed and puts an hand in his leg, “Is everything okay, bud?”
He looks at him and his eyes become watery, “I miss Dad.” he whispers.
“Oh, buddy,” Buck hugs him and kisses his head, “What do you think if we call him? I'm sure he misses you too.”
Christopher nods, excited, “Yes, please.”
Buck laughs at his impatience and takes the tablet from Chris' desk. He starts the FaceTime call and Eddie answers almost immediately.”
“Dad!” Christopher cheers as he sees his father.
Eddie's smile grows, even if Buck can notice how his face seems tired and his eyes a bit dark, “Hey, buddy. How are you?”
“I miss you.” Christopher murmurs, sadly.
Buck holds him a little tight in their embrace and looks at Eddie with a sad expression.
“I miss you, too, mijo,” Eddie says, “Only four days to go, and then I'll be back with you both. I will be home and we will do a lot of fun stuff.”
Buck nods, “We have to cook for your Dad that new dish Bobby taught us.” he states, proudly.
Christopher smiles, “You are gonna love it, Dad!” he assures.
They keep talking for a little, then Buck leaves Chris to go to start dinner. Eddie gives him a smile and Buck sends him exaggerated kisses making Christopher laugh and then goes to the kitchen.
When the dinner is ready, Buck calls Christopher who greets Eddie like five times. He is a bit moody even after their call ends; he eats in silence and goes to bed before his bedtime. So it's not surprise when he arrives in the living room where Buck is sprawled on the couch, hair mussed and face sad.
“Hey, bud, what's wrong?” Buck asks, sitting on the couch.
“Can't sleep.” Chris murmurs.
Buck smiles to him, “Come here,” he invites, making grabby-hands.
Christopher giggles and goes toward him. Buck scoops him up and settles him on his lap. He snuggles up immediately, and Buck rearrange himself to lay down with Chris on him. He holds him tight and starts caressing his back.
“Okay, let's see if I can do something to help you fall asleep,” he says, “This is a song Maddie used to sing to me when I was a kid. I'm not as good as her singing, but maybe it works,” he explains, and the he starts singing with a soft voice, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey.”
Christopher seems to appreciate his performance; his breath becomes heavy pretty quickly and he is asleep in a span of minutes. Buck can only see his curly hair and nose from their position, but he can feel the weight of his little body and his little heart beating rhythmically in his ribcage. It is so perfect that it hurts. Buck never felt so at home like in this moment.
He takes the phone from his back pocket and snaps a photo. He opens the chat with Eddie and he sends it; "He is getting so big 😭"
Eddie's answer is fast:"He is, isn't it? Enjoy the cuddles, soon he won't want to snuggle with us anymore!"
Buck feels something reading that "us" but he is too tired to give it any attention. He lets Chris' breath lulls him, he lets the peace he feels wrap him like a protective blanket. He understands, in this moment, what he has to do with his life.
-
When he steps inside the loft, he is oddly calm. He is about to turn his life upside down, but he doesn't feel panic or remorse. He is just proud of himself because he is finally heading to the right direction.
Taylor lifts her head and looks at him like she is seeing a ghost. “I didn't know you were coming home after your shift, I thought you would go to Eddie's.” she says, poisonous.
“I left Chris with Carla for a bit,” he explains, “I needed to see you.”
Taylor nods, “Okay.” she says, turning to face him.
“Listen, Taylor, I really care about you. You've been by my side through a lot of difficult moments and I couldn't be more grateful,” he starts, because he really appreciates her, and maybe he doesn't love her but he doesn't want to hurt her either, “But we- I, I can't give to our relationship the time it deserves right now.”
“You can't put me in the first place of your priorities,” she points out.
Buck shakes his head, “No. Not right now,” then he corrects himself, “Maybe never. I'm so sorry, Taylor.”
Taylor scoffs, “At least you had the gut to be honest with me.”
“It's not your fault,” he says, because he doesn't know what else he can say to fix the mess he made.
Taylor fixes him with a look full of resentment, “Oh, I know it's not. I've put all myself in this relationship. I trusted you like I've never trusted anyone in my life and you preferred your imaginary family.”
Buck steps back like she just pushed him, “They're not my imaginary family,” he retorts, determinated and offended, “Listen, I'm sorry if I dragged this too much, I should've realize sooner,” he pauses, emotions flooding his mind. He takes a deep breath and adds, “You can keep the loft, if you want.”
Taylor gives him an annoyed look, “I don't want the loft. I'm going to find a new place, I just need time.”
“Take all the time you need, I'm gonna crash at Eddie's for all the time you need,” he offers, “I'm sorry,” he whispers, because he really wish things had turned out differently.
He had desperately wanted a stable relationship, a home to come after a tough shift, a person who could give him comfort and love, that he didn't think for a second that he was clinging at the wrong person.
“Yeah.” Taylor nods, a tip of sadness in her miffed expression.
Buck nods too, and it's all over. They are over. Buck doesn't have a girlfriend or an apartment anymore, but despite it, he feels a sense of relief deposits in his chest. Now he can start a new life; he can start the life he really wants.
-
Christopher falls asleep while he is still on the phone with Eddie reading a story. Buck takes off his glasses and rearranges him on the bed, then takes the tablet and goes to sit on the couch. He doesn't want to end the call yet, so he search for something to say.
Eddie anticipates him, giving him an inquisitive look, “What happened?”
Buck winces, “How do you know that something has happened?”
“Because you've been weird the whole call,” Eddie tells him, “Is everything okay?”
And Buck is so thankful to have someone in his life like Eddie; someone who always understands when he is upset even if he doesn't say it, or lets him ramble about random fact with genuine interest when he is listening, or someone who can give him the comfort and familiarity he has always needed his whole life.
He scoffs, running an hand in his face, “I'm kinda homeless right now, so I might have taken part of your wardrobe and storage room. Sorry.”
“Homeless? Did something happen at the loft?” Eddie asks, concerned.
“Taylor and I broke up. She doesn't have a place to stay right now because she just moved in with me, so I told her she could stay at the loft for all the time she needs,” Buck explains, “I'm sorry if I didn't ask you if I could stay here, it was the only solution I could think in that moment, and I should've-” he starts to panic, aware that he did exactly like he had done with Taylor and took and impulsive decision without thinking about the consequences.
“Buck, it's okay,” Eddie interrupt him, “Just, for the love of your back and legs, take my bed, my couch sucks!” he advises him, an encouraging look in his eyes.
“It's not that bad," Buck shrugs, and Eddie shakes his head, so Buck asserts, “But I guess my back it would be grateful to be in a proper bed.”
Eddie nods, content for Buck's decision and smiles at him.
Buck sighs, “Thanks.”
“Don't need to thank me,” Eddie retorts, softly, “Are you okay?”
“Better than someone should feel after a break up,” Buck confesses, because closing that chapter of hiss life was the right thing to do and he feel lighter now, “I'm ready to start again.”
Eddie gives him a smile, and Buck feels his heart skip a bit. Eddie rarely smiles like this, all warm and tender, so Buck treasure that smile like the most precious gold and lets it wash him with a sense of love and protection like nobody ever gave him.
“I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?” Eddie says after minutes of silence where they just looked at each other.
Buck nods, “Yeah. Goodnight, Eds.”
“Night, Buck.”
Buck ends the call and takes a deep breath. He stands up and goes in Eddie's room. It feels so weird to be there without Eddie. The last time he was there, Eddie had smashed everything he had at hand and his wreck was a crying shell of a man on the floor. Now everything is different: Eddie is doing his best to heal, Buck is single but never felt so at peace and there is a sense of stability everywhere. When he lays down on Eddie's bed, he can smell Eddie's perfume and he feels warm and good. He falls asleep with a little smile on his lips.
-
Buck has been feeling off the whole day. He doesn't exactly know what is bothering him, but he carries a sense of discomfort the all time at work. So when he arrives home and Christopher is already ready for bed - bless Carla that stayed with him and made him dinner when Buck's shift was delayed for a pile-up - the only thing he wants is to crawl in bed with the kid and sleep until his shift tomorrow.
They say goodbye to Carla and then Buck changes in comfortable clothes - Eddie's t-shirt wrapping him just a little tight but in a perfect way.
He stops in Christopher's doorframe and smile at him, “Hey, bud, what do you say if we crash in your Dad's bed.” he proposes, wiggling his brows.
Christopher lights up like a Christmas tree, “Can we?”
Buck nods, “Absolutely.”
Christopher squeals excited and does grabby-hands to Buck, who steps inside and scoops him up from his bed to go in Eddie's. They set up on the bed under the covers and Buck take his phone, “Let's take a photo for your Dad!”
Christopher smiles cheekily and Buck smiles too, happy.
To Eddie: You are bed-less now ❌🛏️ sleepover for us 🎉
Christopher snuggles to Buck side, “Goodnight, Buck.”
“Goodnight, kid.” he says, kissing his forehead.
Then he takes another photo, a small smile and Chris curled up at his side.
To Eddie: We miss you. Night 😘
From Eddie: Miss you too. Can't wait to hug you! Night
Buck puts his phone on the nightstand and hugs Christopher, falling asleep in peacefully.
-
It's a slow day at work, the only night Buck has a shift since Bobby cleared him to stay with Christopher as long as he could. They had two mild calls, and now they are relaxing at the firehouse waiting for dinner. Buck won't jinx it saying it out loud, but it has been a q-word shift so far and he is glad about it. He just called Christopher before he calls his dad and will send him a brunch of heart emojis before he goes to bed - and he will send some to Eddie too, just for good measure - and he will try to catch some sleep in the hope he wakes up tomorrow and he can go home without any major call in between. And then he can wait with Christopher the moment they have to go pick Eddie up from the airport. The kid has been talking about it from yesterday and they are both really anxious to have Eddie back home with them. Their little family will be complete again.
His phone starts to buzz and he smiles as soon he sees the ID, “Hey, Eddie.”
“Hey.” Eddie's voice sounds congested like he has been crying.
Buck is alarmed immediately and goes in the bunk room to have some privacy. “Eddie, are you okay?” he whispers, trying not to sound too anxious.
“Yes,” Eddie murmurs, “I just needed to hear your voice.” he adds like it's a secret.
“Hey, I'm here,” is Buck quick reassurance, “Is everything fine?” he asks then, because he is worried sick and he has to know what is happening to Eddie.
“I feel a bit drained,” he explains with a sigh, “I just had a screaming match with my parents. They are not happy about the will, or about me breaking up with Ana. Or about any of my life choice for what matters. And they didn't say anything before, but today, as soon as I said them about the will, they exploded. And I did too.” he rumbles, anger mixed with sadness in his voice.
Buck feels his heart break a little listening to Eddie sob lightly, like he is trying to hide it.
“Where are you now?” he asks, voice quiet trying to smooth Eddie.
“Outside on the porch,” he answers, “I needed air. And I needed to hear you.” he adds, and then Buck hears him taking a deep breath.
Buck nods even if Eddie can't see him, “Okay. Hey, it's just tonight, yeah? Tomorrow you will be home. Christopher will give you the tightest hug ever and you will feel better immediately.” he says, tone cheerful.
Christopher will be Eddie's balm, his medicine for the sadness he is feeling. Buck wishes he could do more, wishes he could hug him and tell him how amazing he is as a father.
“I can't wait.” Eddie whispers.
“Buck, the lasagna is ready.” Chimney announces, entering in the bunk room.
Buck shakes his head and Chimney looks at him worried.
“Oh, shit, you are at work.” Eddie says, guilt in his tone.
Buck makes a gesture to Chimney to let him know he has to go, and gives his attention to Eddie, “It's okay, I can stay on the phone until the bell doesn't ring.”
“I'm sorry.” Eddie whispers sadly.
“There is nothing to be sorry for, Eds,” Buck calms him, softly.
He knows how guilty Eddie must be feeling for disturbing him at work, how much he hates being a burden for others, as he always says, but Buck would never feel annoyed with Eddie, he will always be there when he needs him.
“Now, what if I tell you about the crazy call we had this morning?” he proposes, like is the most interesting thing he can do.
Eddie chuckles lightly and he starts talking about his day. The sadness in Eddie's voice is less suffocating when they end the call and Buck can't wait to see him the next day to give him a hug just because he deserves it. Both deserves it.
-
After a nap, Buck is ready to deal with Christopher's excitement for the come back of his dad. The kid is a ball of joy - more than usual - and he is so impatient to go to the airport that he keeps asking him what time it is even if he knows how to read the watch.
“Buck,” he says, and Buck is ready to say him that it's not time yet, but Christopher adds, “can we make a poster for Dad?”
Buck smiles brightly, “Sure we can!” he says excited, “We can put together four sheets so it's big enough for him to see it as soon as he gets out of the arrivals, what do you think?”
Christopher beams, already on his way to his room to take his art supplies, “We can write "We missed you" in capitol letters and all colored!”
Buck follows him and helps him take everything they can need, then they settle in the living room and start drawing and glueing and coloring. They spend the evening like this, laughing and tidying up everything when they finish, and then they cook dinner so they only have to heat it up when they come back from the airport.
When they arrive, Eddie's flight has just landed. They go at the Arrivals and get into position with the poster well visible. Christopher is so impatient that can't stay still, making Buck laugh.
They spot Eddie before he spots them, and Christopher shouts a "Dad" so loud everyone around laughs. Eddie actually runs to him and scoops him up, hugging him so tight and kissing his face.
“Oh, I missed you so much, mijo.” he says, emotions clear in his voice.
Christopher puts his face in the crock of his neck, “I missed you too. We wrote it on the poster too!” he explains, and Buck shows it proudly as a demonstration.
Eddie laughs, “I love it. You did an amazing job.” he compliments, putting him down.
Then he looks at Buck and his smile in so soft and warm that Buck feels like he could burst with happiness. He takes a step forward and opens his arms, and Eddie goes easily like it was the only thing he was waiting.
“Welcome back, Eds,” Buck says, taking in all Eddie; his warm body against his, his smile pressed on the skin of his neck, his familiar cologne. “We really missed you.” he adds, because it's important that Eddie knows it from him too.
“I missed you, too.” Eddie retorts, meeting his gaze.
And everything is there: the love, so quiet that it could be missed if you are not paying attention, the shy "thank you", the sense of joy that Eddie didn't feel often. Buck sees it all and loves every nuance of it.
“We made dinner for you,” Christopher says, bursting their little bubble.
Eddie chuckle and takes him in his arms again. Christopher doesn't protest and Eddie kisses his cheek.
“Let's go home, Diaz!” Buck invites, and the matching grins he gets are full of affection.
Eddie nods and extends his hand to take Buck's wrist. He squeeze a little and Buck gives him a bright smile. Then they go out of the airport and everything is perfect, because they are together; their family is complete and they are full happy again.