Chapter Text
Even after travelling through time to save Ticky and his parts with a change of Professor Timedyne's heart...
Even after reclaiming the OOPArts with the help of Tia and Popo Kaka to keep the world safe, with a spare change of Lily's heart as well...
Even after befriending the animals in the city after being left out from his family's vacation to Hawaii, only with his heart still broken...
Even after everything he could do up to his breaking point...
Katsu still couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed.
Both as a hero, and worse, as a brother.
That was the one thought that stood out above everything else, granted that Katsu couldn't really think straight. It was something that had bothered him for years, maybe even a decade. But to remain hiding in Don's shadow for so long, it was something he couldn't take lightly. And despite everything, it would take his own efforts to overcome the feeling of despair that would keep growing and growing.
Katsu felt nothing but sorrow. Not even a wink could hide his true feelings, and it's going as far to keep him from sleeping at all. It was that bad, and he'd never stay up this late, at least not anymore. Yet the thought alone was enough to make matters worse for the blue drum. Not even the red blanket that covers him felt comfortable anymore. Not even practicing his Taiko drum skills each day would help. Not even listening to "Nightmare Survivor" or "Infinite Rebellion" on loop, or necessarily any other heavy metal song included in his playlist, could help him cope during these times.
Something broke him.
Or rather, someone.
He was always the forgotten drum, and he wasn't as well-known or charismatic as his big brother. He's too much of a wimp to participate in actual Taiko battles (only 'in spirit'), too much of an airhead to be the hero his brother already is, too baffled to go on real adventures, and so on. It was as if he never existed in the first place, as if he didn't belong. It's just that no matter the circumstances, it was Don-chan that kept getting in the way for him, given the fact that he's the 'main protagonist.'
It shouldn't matter, it really shouldn't. Don is always there for Katsu, although he does treat him harshly sometimes; but he's his brother, and it'd be fun to actually beat him at something one day, whether for fun or for glory. Regardless, it doesn't change the fact that the red drum does care for him, and it should stay that way. Family is family no matter what, and Don is willing to defend Katsu if necessary. He still cares after all; he's his brother, right?
...Right?
Oh, brother.
Katsu rolled over in bed and groaned. He had no one to talk to, no one to vent to, and no one to tell him everything was going to be fine. He had nobody to ask about the feelings that he's been experiencing lately, no one to help him through his troubles. The only person he could talk to was him , though it'd be more of a hassle to tell him the truth, and Katsu believed there's no point in admitting that he's troubled inside. The Master Bachio weren't here to help, not even one of his water bowler friends, not even his human relatives. He felt himself shudder again, his mind still swarming with bad thoughts.
What was it about his brother that made him so special? Why does he still remain being a 'side character' for years to come? Maybe he's just overthinking things, praying to the Great Soul one day that he'd be the one in Don's place for good, even if any attempt to achieve such thing would be likely to result in him getting scolded.
While he is celebrated in most cases, it still isn't enough to satisfy him. After all, he is the runt of the litter, and there's no use in denying that fact. The gap between him and his brother only seemed to grow wider and wider as the years went by, and Katsu could only watch as Don slowly became more and more prominent. He had to do something about his situation, otherwise he'd stay this way forever. And likewise, it's already starting to affect his usual hobbies.
Fortunately, Katsu did have two plans in mind. Especially the former, but this soon? And for the latter, how would it be planned out? Sweat was starting to run down his baby blue face, worrying that both would lead to dead ends. He remembered he wrote about his true feelings quite a few times amongst Don's adventure journals, though he'd refuse to believe that Don were to ever touch them again in order to get the memo.
It only conveyed the impression that the red-faced drum had betrayed his trust long ago, secretly disowning him as a brother. Though on second thought, he doesn't really seem like the kind of person to betray someone like that. Don-chan is not one to show contempt towards his little brother, would he? But Ka-chan was too exhausted to even care.
With that thought aside, there were reasons as to why running away was the first plan he had in mind; and in fact, it was something he had anticipated on numerous occasions. He hadn't the patience to go through with this anymore, it seemed. Just the thought of having to live far from the Wada household by himself felt like bliss, even if he didn't know where to go yet. He would most likely get lost and confused anyway, but he still wouldn't care.
Ka-chan wanted to teach his family a lesson; though, it only begs the question as to what they really think of him. Especially Don-chan, who had long been an integral part of his life and a brother he would depend on, if it weren't for his broken heart. Would they even bother to look for him? Hell, would they even miss him?
Desolation and despondency only surrounded the drum once more, his mind drifting off to dark memories that he didn't want to dwell on any longer. There were only a few ways he could handle such a thing, and to meet with disaster would be a different story. At any rate, it would be the best way to end it all, even if it would make him regret ever deceiving his brother.
It all goes to show how futile his efforts had become; how quickly a situation would turn out to be with his presence, he feels. Even with his friends and other relatives, it didn't seem to change his opinion of himself. He would always find himself on the outside looking in, as if he didn't belong anywhere. Maybe he was just cursed from the start, and it only felt like his life was a complete mess. It only confirms his suspicions that he was always a black sheep.
...What would a world without the blue drum be like?
What would it be like if his soul were never transferred to a drum? What would it be like if it was only his brother that was born to this world? Would the world be better off without him? Katsu didn't want to think about it, yet he couldn't help but wonder. He was nothing but a burden to everyone, always getting in the way and always causing trouble.
He was always the one getting lost, always the one making mistakes, always the one getting scolded. He was always the one being left behind, always the one being forgotten, always the one being ignored.
He needed to find a way to move on, to forget about the pain and the hurt. He needed to find a way to be happy again, to feel alive again.
...
...
...
Tears began forming in his eyes.
...
...
...
Oh, brother...
"Why don't I ever get to be in the fun anymore, ka?"
Katsu could barely get those words out, his throat felt dry and his eyes were getting blurry. He felt his tubular body ache from the inside, as if his soul was trying to escape once more. He was basically talking to thin air, but he didn't care. He just needed to get this off of his chest, to finally let it all out.
"Why is it always you that gets to be the star, ka? Do you ever think about me at all, da-don!?"
He sounded convincing, but he knew he was fooling himself. It wasn't that he didn't trust his brother to tell him what to do. It's that he was afraid of what he would say, what any of his friends would say.
"I just wish I could be like you, don. I just wish I could be somebody important, da-don...!"
Paws banging on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, Katsu just wanted it all to stop. He felt so alone, so lost, so helpless. He was just a worthless, pathetic little drum that would never amount to anything. He was ready to make plans, to leave the house for a while. He knows his family is asleep, so it would be the best time to whimper and escape.
"I'm sorry, Don-chan! I'm sorry, everyone...!"
No answer, only the sound of his own crying. He curled up in a fetal position, clutching his head as he wept. He was so tired, so exhausted, and so fed up. He wanted to scream, to let it all out, but he just couldn't. He was too weak, too feeble, too scared.
...
...
...
He had to run.
...
...
...
He had to find his own way, his own path.
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...
...
With a sprint, the blue drum began to make his way to the front door. He didn't care where he was going, he just wanted to be away from the pain. He couldn't care less to say goodbye, he just wanted to leave. Hell, he refused to look back.
But he knows it was all for one person in particular that made him do such.
...
...
...
"I'm sorry, brother."
And with that, Katsu's journey from zero to hero begins.