Chapter Text
"So, anyways, that's when I told him: 'Sir, if you grope the mannequins, I will have no choice but use excessive force.' He just a creep, Peri, like you wouldn't believe."
Peridot sat there stonefaced. So many times has she had to listen to some of Jasper's..."riveting" stories of life as a mall security guard, and so many times did she not really care. Sure, she was her best friend, but Jasper just liked to drone on and on about nothing, literally instigating conversations about trivial things like conditioner or sock color. Today of all days wasn't a good time to hear this, Peridot had her own dilemma.
"And he ACTUALLY ran away with the fucking mannequin. We let him have it, because he'd just keep coming back and-" Jasper stopped to look at Peridot, who was completely zoned out. She never looked THIS disinterested during her stories. "Yo, Peri, you okay?"
No response.
"Peri!" She snapped, breaking the slender woman from her trance.
"Oh-oh, I'm sorry, Jasper. Please continue."
The larger woman folded her arms and looked at Peridot suspiciously. "That's weird, you never tell me to KEEP telling my stories. What's up with you?"
"Nothing's wrong! Nothing at all!"
Jasper scoffed,"I've heard that one before and usually it translates to 'Jasper, I didn't pay the cable bill' or 'Jasper your mom called from prison and she wants you help her break out...again'." Peridot furrowed her brow in remembrance of that extremely awkward phone call. "So, just be real with me."
And just like that, Peri zoned out again.
She didn't want to answer, the knots in her stomach were just tightening at the continuous thoughts. She just wanted to forget about it, but she needed to be mentally ready to execute her plan. Not to mention, Jasper had never been the best confidant. It was because of Jasper, her dreams of getting a date with her crush during Senior year was pretty much crushed. No real fault of Jasper, but she just couldn't keep her big trap shut.
"Earth to Peridot," Jasper nudged at the still thunderstruck woman. When Peridot finally came back to reality, Jasper gripped her on the shoulders and shook her slightly. "Will you PLEASE tell me what's up with you?!?"
At almost an impulse at this point, Peridot told her just to shut her up. "I'm going to propose to Lapis this afternoon!" she yelled maybe just a little too loud and uncomfortably.
Jasper nearly fell back in her chair when she heard those words. The thought of Peridot finally, well, committing to something was just unreal. Not just that, Lapis was dropping all of the hints necessary that she wanted to finally get hitched, and even Jasper could pick up on that. But, then again, Peridot was sort of "emotionally colorblind", she could see the big stuff clearly (anger, desire, frustration, etc.) but the little stuff like subtle romantic passes always remained a mystery to her. Frankly, Jasper was surprised she decided to propose at all.
"Are you serious? That's great! Good for you, Peri. Finally hitching a ride on the ol' matrimony pony, huh?"
Peridot tensed, she knew this wasn't a good idea. When does Jasper ever take anything seriously, she thought.
"I don't know," the green-eyed woman said, clearly on-edge,"I don't know if Lapis will say 'yes' or if I moved too suddenly, or..."
"You guys have been dating for four fucking years, I say this is just long overdue if ya ask me."
"I don't think I was asking you," Peridot mumbled waspishly.
Jasper rolled her eyes and stood up off the couch. Oh no, she's gonna get really vocal, Peridot thought.
Jasper then started pacing around the living room. "Okay, let's go over the checklist. Um...an engagement ring! You got one of those, right?"
"Yeah. It took a lot of paychecks but I finally got the perfect ring." Peridot slumped down deeper into the couch,"By the way, you might be on your own for the electric bill this month."
"Whatever," Jasper said waving that notion off. "Next, some kind of romantic setting. Like a pretty vista or some kind a' hoity-toity restaurant or something."
"I made reservations down at the Italian place on Third Street."
"Guissepe's?"
"Hell no! I want to get her to agree to marry me not give her food poisoning at unreasonable prices."
Jasper thought for a second. "Oh, Salvadoré's?"
Peridot nodded. "That's the one."
Jasper winced and visibly cringed. "That's gonna set you back." Jasper was very familiar with their prices. $45 for a small plate of ravioli? Shit, she could get a better dining experience out of a $3 can of ravioli and still have enough for a good case of beer. Needless to say, Jasper barely knew what "palette" meant.
Peridot shook her head and folded her arms. "No, me and Lapis are going to split the difference. We planned this a month ago."
Jasper then looked fake offended. "And you kept this proposal secret from me for over a month? I thought we were cool, Peri."
"Three months, actually," she corrected flatly.
Jasper sighed at Peridot's utter lack of trust."Okay now, last thing you gotta have: a moment."
Peridot looked at her confused. She had absolutely no clue what she was onto now.
"A moment?"
"Yeah, like in the movies where the band starts playin' and the atmosphere is just right for you to make the move."
The slender woman started to get frenzied. "I didn't plan for a moment! Why didn't I plan for a moment?"
Jasper sat back down next to her and plopped an arm around her. Peridot hated contact from people who weren't Lapis, but she hated being out of the know about something this important.
"Now Peri, you can't MAKE a moment, you have to let the moment make itself. It's just gotta flow, y'know?"
Peridot seriously didn't know.
"Well, I've given you all of my knowledge. It's all up to you from here, string bean. But I'm sure Lapis is gonna say yes."
"You," Peridot stammered,"You really think so?"
"Yeah, if she can put up with ya for as long as this, she's definitely wantin' to keep ya." Jasper then chuckled to herself as she turned the TV on.
Peridot rolled her eyes. Jasper gave some..."valid" points, but she needed someone who's actually been in the same situation. There was only one other thing she could do now, besides hope for the best. She couldn't rely on tired movie clichés for something as big as this.
She needed some mentors.