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Cullen snuck, well not snuck. He was a Commander and a Commander didn't sneak, he walked up behind Varric and Dorian, with almost a stroll, really. It was hardly his fault they didn't hear him as he leaned against the stable wall to listen to their chatter.
"What the hell is it? A failed Tevinter experiment?" Varric pondered "or maybe the offspring of a drunk dragon and a nearsighted horse?"
"Well whatever it is it has a stupid face." Dorian replied clearly affronted by the mount's lack of aesthetic value
"It's a Dracolisk, it's native to the west and south of here." supplied Cullen startling the pair. They turned and stared at him, one with curious expression and the other with a mildly horrified one.
"How did she ever get her hands on one? Let alone hear of it?" Dorian gave him a considering look. Cullen shrugged and made a noncommittal noise.
xXx
Several months earlier (and more than a few drinks later):
"I mean Corphy-face has got one why can't I have one?" The Inquisitor slurred clinging to Cullen's side as they navigated the stairs.
"Because a dragon would rather eat you than let you ride it into battle." He respond drily, half carrying her up the stairs to her quarters.
"But horses are so boooooring, how about a bronto?" she wheedled, deftly slipping from his grasp to to climb unsteadily atop her sofa, mounting the back of the furniture as if it were an steed. "Just imagine how grand and imposing I'd look!" she tried for what he could only assume was an inspiring pose.
"Absolutely not." he grabbed her around the legs and heaved her over one shoulder before she could fall over the balustrade.
"Aw you never let me have any fun." she pouted as he tossed her on the bed. Cullen resisted the urge to lean down and kiss the mutinous look off her face.
"Be a good Inquisitor and go to bed, you are going to have the mother of all hangovers as is."
"Don't wanna." she sulked.
"Sleep now and I promise I will find you something to ride that won't eat you or stomp you to death." He could see the wheels turning in her mind, drunk the Inquisitor might be but not stupid by any measure. She gave him a long look.
“Not a horse?
“Not a horse.”
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay." she sat up enough to quickly kiss him before flopping back and promptly passing out. Cullen wasn't sure which had blindsided him more the kiss or the smile that had gone with it.
xXx