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Y/n did this often. Sat out in their backyard, enjoying the spider lilies. They didn’t plant them themselves. They had just kinda..sprouted one day, years ago, and had come back every year since. They didn’t know why they felt the need to tend to the lilies, but they did. It wasn’t particularly hard, water every now and then, maybe fertilize them if they were feeling especially green. Overall it was a small price to pay for a truly unbeatable place to sit and read.
Well, ok there was definitely more to it than that. Spider lilies represent final goodbyes. Maybe that's why the delicate red flowers always made them think of him. Suguru. They felt his ghost everywhere, and he wasn't even dead. You could hardly blame them though. It would be an understatement to say that he met the world to them at one point. And it was summer nights like this one, when the night air held the promise of a cool forgiving fall, that they often thought back to the day they met him.
The party was loud, and way way too hot. The fight to get to the back door was a brutal one, but a worthy one. Satoru was having a giant party to “mourn the death of summer.” Y/n had no clue how the hell they got invited, but they were and you could bet your sweet ass they weren’t about to waste the opportunity to get free alcohol. Finally, they had reached the door and had escaped the suffocating heat into the notably cooler outside air. Out here the party kept going, but at least everyone's body heat wasn't contained.
Y/n looked around the back yard, looking for something very specific. Nope not her…not him either…no, no, nooo AH HA. target acquired. They approached the tall man, taking note of his long hair and fairly sized gauges. He had a dangerous aura. Typically the type of guy that Y/N wouldn’t try to upset. But you see, this guy was special. This guy had a cigarette.
“Hey stranger, you sharing those?” Y/n asked, jumping on the same short wall the young man leaned against. He looked at this person curiously. Did he know them? He searched his brain for any sort of answer, and while it focused on that, he absent mindedly handed over the cancer stick. He had to know them. They looked familiar. Were they familiar? Were they common at Gojos parties? Why was he thinking so hard about this? Fuck. “Got a light?” The stranger on the fence asked him, smiling as they showed him the cigarette he had given them. Wait. “Why is your nose bleeding?” Suguru asked as he handed over his lighter.
They paused long enough to touch their upper lip and check their hand. Oh shit, they were bleeding. How did that happen?.. Oh, yeah! They grinned at the young sorcerer. “Some asshole spilt my drink on me and refused to apologize. Dick move, right? So I made him apologize.” Y/n grinned, lighting their cigarette up, clearly very pleased with themselves. “Looks more like he made you apologize.” Suguru noted, chuckling softly to himself about it. You shook your head. “Nahh, this ain't nothing, you should see the other guy.” you winked causing Geto to smirk. “Oh really now? Yea, I’m sure he's struggling so hard right now.” “He is!” you insisted.
“You know, violence isn’t always the answer, right?” Suguru asked, eyeing you up and down. You shook your head. “I beg to differ.” “What's your name?” Geto asked. He had to know who this spitfire was. “What's your name?” you asked back. “I asked you first.” “And I asked second.” Satisfied enough with his annoyed look, Y/n finally took pity on the admittedly handsome man. “It's Y/n.” Suguru smiled. That was a really pretty name. A pretty name for a pretty person. “I’m Sugru Geto.” he smiled, holding out his hand. You smirked and took it in a firm handshake. “How very formal of you, Mr.Geto.” “Please never call me that.” “I will exclusively only call you that from now on.” God, he hoped that was a bluff.
Wait. he was starting to remember this face, now that he had a name to go with it. “Hey, don’t you go to the Kyoto school?” Suguru asked, blowing smoke out from his lips. The perfect stranger before him shrugged, weirdly almost embarrassed now. “Yea, I did. It’s how I know Gojo, actually. We did our individual battles together last year, during the exchange event, ya know?” Suguru remembered now. He felt bad for them last year. He would have felt bad for anyone that had to go up against Gojo. But he remembered them putting up quite a fight, and lasting longer than anyone could have ever expected them too. It’s probably why Satoru took such interest in them.
“Oh yeaa, I remember that, '' he said out loud this time. “You did pretty good, I’m pretty sure we were all impressed with you.” He assured the person before him, who merely scoffed at his assertion. “Well, you shouldn’t have been. I lost. You guys shouldn’t be proud of failure.” You mumbled, still embittered by your perceived failure. It wasn’t fair, really it wasn't. You were doing phenomenally well in the group battle. Maybe that was why the higher ups put you up against the Satoru Gojo. Either way, it killed your momentum to lose, and it wasn’t fucking fair. But, fuck it, life wasnt fair.
“You didn’t fail.” Suguru scoffed. God, she was just like his best friend. Chasing for a version of perfection that was flat out unobtainable. “You managed to get more than a few hits in, and you didn’t die. Honestly, going up against Satoru, that's all anyone could have really asked of you.” He shrugged as he turned to lean his back up against the wall and look up at you. You looked at him and just shrugged, a cold blank face as you blew your smoke in his direction. “Agree to disagree.”
Suguru quickly decided that this person was fully something else. “The good news is, I’m probably going to get lots of practice in fighting him next year” You grinned, punching your fist into your palm. Geto looked up at you, a single eyebrow raised in curiosity as he got a good look at your face. “Oh? And what makes you say that?” He asked, hoping they didn’t plan to try and attack his friend. It would be a shame for him to have to reorganize such a pretty face. “I’m transferring to the Tokyo school this year. I assume you guys allow sparring. I hope you guys allow sparring.” Oh word? Safe to say he wasn’t expecting that, but it was a pleasant surprise.
“Oh yea? Well, I look forward to working with you then.” He grinned, putting out his cig on the wall and holding a hand out to you. “Come on. Let's go get a drink to celebrate your transfer to the better school.” He grinned. It was the start of a beautiful friendship, one that would develop over time into something more. He was so alive that night, partying until literal sun up and walking all the way home with you to make sure you were safe. You assured him you would be fine. He had no doubt you could handle your own, but it made him feel better to walk you home, and make sure you got in the door safe. You were drunk off your ass anyways. He made no move on you, even when you made a move on him. Which stood out to you to this day. His intentions really were just to make sure you were safe. You liked that.
Once the school year started, you two got even closer. Some of your favorite memories were staying up late at night, listening to old music in Getos dorm, staying up even later, long past when Satoru passed out, to just talk. He had the biggest music collection you had ever seen and was always excited to show it off. He almost always had a record you hadn’t heard before. And yes, they were actual fucking records. This hipster had a fucking record player. And you loved him for it. You didn’t even realize that you could get modern records on vinyl. But apparently, you could.
“I still can’t believe you haven't heard the arctic monkeys” He shook his head, chuckling to himself. Satoru was sound asleep on the floor, snoring softly into the pillow Geto had thrown down there for him. You and Suguru were propped up on the bed, him just listening to the music, you doodling in your notebook. “Hey, I never said I haven’t heard them, I said I haven't heard a lot from them, there's a difference,” you reminded him, sticking your tongue out at him. He chuckled again and shook his head. “I swear. I’m going to show you all the good music. Mark my words.” he vowed, turning to you.
“What are you drawing?” he asked, trying to peek into your book as you snatched it away. “Nothing!” you blushed. Oh, he had to know now. You never kept secrets from him. And you never reacted like that when he asked to see your art. A grin grew on his face. “That is not the face of someone drawing nothing. Come on, what is it?” he asked, trying to lean over to look. You held the book closer to your chest and shook your head. “No, really, it's really weird” you tried to insist. Sugurus' eyes got wide. “Oh my god, are you drawing porn?! Basically in public?!” he laughed. Oh that was too good.
Now it was your turn for your eyes to get wide, then angry as you gently whacked him with the book. “No, I'm not drawing porn you pervert!” you scoffed, shaking your head. “Then why won't you show me? Come on Y/n, I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other?” he pouted to you. You sighed. He was right. All 3 of you had made that promise, to never keep secrets from each other, no matter how major or minor. They reluctantly handed the book over. He flipped to the most recent padge, and his devilish grin changed. It went from mischievous to something more..flattered?
“You drew me?” He asked. It was him from tonight, from multiple angles. A quick doodle of him doing homework at the start of the night, him taking his bun down, and a very quick doodle of him and Satoru arguing over the music choice of the night. The one that had the most detail though, was a closeup of him just, listening to the music, a soft smile on his face. Eyes sleepy but comfortbe. They were all really good, but the almost loving amount of detail and care put into that one made him blush. “Yea, so what?” you muttered. If he thought he was blushing he should have seen your cheeks. “Do you have a problem with it?”
“Not at all.” he assured you, finally looking at you with the same smile you had drawn on him moments before. “They're actually really good. But, why draw me though?” He asked, curiosity filling his voice. He couldn't fathom being the subject of your art. He was nothing special, so why him? You shrugged as you finally made eye contact with him. “I dunno, I mean..I just kinda draw stuff that I like.” You muttered, shrugging your shoulders. Geto felt his heart flutter.
“Oh. Well, I like you too.” He muttered, handing you back your book. Your face felt like it was on fire. Was that a confession?! Shit, was yours a confession?! Were you over-thinking this?? It felt like you were overthinking this. Subconsciously you had moved up on the bed to be closer to him, and had all of the sudden become all too aware of your proximity to the shaman. He bit his lip. Was he nervous?
He was. He really was. Suddenly, Do I Wanna Know came on the record. “This song kinda makes me think of you, you know?” he said, glancing at your mouth for all of a second. He was hoping he was making himself clear. But, he for sure was not. But, you two had become comfortable enough with each other for you to know. “Yea?” you asked softly. He nodded. “It does.” you confirmed. Suguru took that as his permission to do what he had wanted to do since that party, and caught your lips in a kiss.
He tasted like mint and cigarettes. A combination that would have tasted horrible on anyone but him. He was gentle, and slow at first. Tenderly pulling you closer to him. As you leaned into the kiss though, matching his energy he got more aggressive, pulling you into his lap, a hand coming up to the back of your head to keep you as close to him as possible. His tongue entered your mouth and his taste became stronger. You moved your face closer to his. He was as addictive as those cigarettes you both loved.
You both pulled apart as your laughs started to scream, both breathing deeply and staring into eachothers eyes. “So..you’re mine, right?” he asked, chuckling softly. “What the hell are you two doin’ up there? Do I need ta go?” Satoru asked groggily, stretching out on the floor. Ghetto blushed a different kind of blush as you laughed awkwardly. He threw a pillow at the white haired sorcerer. “Perv!” he accused. Satoru laughed and caught the pillow, adding it to the one he already had. “You guys are cute together.” he winked, getting comfortable on his floor again.
When you closed your eyes, you could still see the light in his eyes that night. Hear the song he had in his heart. It made watching the decline hurt that much more. You loved Geto, but you weren't sure how cut out he was to be a sorcerer. The more curses he had to eat the further withdrawn he became. You’d asked him once how they tasted. He just grimaced and shook his head. You could have sworn you heard him say ‘Vomit” softly. He shrugged it off and took you into his arms. “It doesn't matter. I’d much rather taste you.” He’d mutter. He refused to talk about it.
You had all promised one another that you wouldn't keep secrets, but he did. He started to keep his own feelings so much more guarded. He wasn't as proud to be a sorcerer as he once was. Not even music brought him the same joy as it used to. The only time you could see remnants of your old Suguru was when you were tangled in eachothers arms. And even that was fleeting. You were begging him to let you back in, and instead he just got more guarded.
Then he snapped. You remember when the news came back to you. 112 people. Dead. and he was at fault. Suguru, your Suguru. Your sweet, borderline pacifist, gentle and caring boyfriend. Suguru had killed 112 people. You felt your stomach drop out of you, and vomit threatened to climb up your throat. Gojo had to catch you to keep you from collapsing to the ground. “I’m so sorry Y/n…” he muttered into your ear, tears filling his own voice. He couldn't grasp it either. This wasn't his best friends doing, it couldn't have been, it had to be some sort of monster that took his face.
“No…no, Satoru, this isn't right.” you begged him to understand. “Sug would never do that! Never ever, you have to know that!” your words fell out more frantically as you looked into your best friend's ocean eyes, looking for a lie. Some sign of jest, or this being a particularly fucked up joke. It had to be right? Right?! It wasn't. He simply shook his head. “Our orders are to kill-” “No. No Satoru, I can’t. I cant fucking do that, how could you expect me to?!” you cried. How could this be happening?! How could you let this happen?! You knew he was struggling, why didn’t you push harder to help?!
“I know. I know Y/n, no one expects you too. At least I don't.” Gojo sighed through a shaky breath. He held you close and soothed your hair. He wasn't sure he could either, honestly. Kill Suguru Geto on sight? This had to be some fucked up nightmare. “I think you may wanna take a break..” Gojo muttered to you, concern filling his voice. He was going to be more delicate with you now, you could feel it in his movements. Hear it in his voice. Could you blame him? He already lost one friend. He couldn't lose two. “I’m sure Yaga will understand..” you simply nodded, but, in your heart you knew you didn’t need a break. You needed a drink.
You were at your family home before the end of the night. Alone, sadly as your parents had to take a business trip elsewhere. Or, maybe not so sadly cause it met you were able to raid the booze cabinet with no worries. The pain in your heart felt heavy. You went out to the backyard, a bottle of vodka clenched in your hand as you sat in the plush grass. God what you wouldn’t give to see him one more time..
“Y/n…” You take it back. Just hearing his voice made you want to scream. You objectively did not wish to see him again.”Why the fuck are you here?” you meant for that to sound aggressive, but, really it just sounded broken. It made his heart ache. He never meant to hurt you. He just couldn’t take it any more. He approached you slowly, like you were an injured deer. You hated it. “I came to get you…” he said softly. He looked so tired. Well fuck him, you were tired too. “What the fuck are you talking about?” you asked, taking a step away. He didn't honestly expect you to go with him. Did he? “I know what you did!” you yelled at him. It was dirty. You threw it right at him like a corpse. “I know you do.” he scoffed, “I assumed you’d be one of the first to know. Do you know why I did it though?”
Ok, he had you there. They had kept the details fuzzy, probably on purpose. “..why?” you whispered out to him. “They wanted me to kill kids Y/n. kids. They had them in cages, two sorcerers, just like us. And do you know why? Because they blames those kids for all the problems their fucked up, corrupt little villiage was having.” oh shit, that was kinda solid. One hundred and twelve people. Dead. you shook your head. “That's not a reason to kill 112 people, Geto. Thats a reason to break the kids out and run, not commit a mass fucking murder!” you snapped. He rolled his eyes.
“Oh, please Y/n, aren't you the one always saying sometimes violence is the answer? I’m pretty sure I learned that from you.” fuck, he had you there too. “Well aren't you the one always saying that there's too much violence in the world?!” you snapped back. “What happened to the strong must protect the weak?! Huh? What the fuck happened to that Suguru?!” “I did! I protected those kids!” he snapped back at you, before rubbing his face. Why wasn't he expecting a fight? He should have expected this.
“This world isn’t made for us Y/n.” he said suddenly, all too calmly for what the situation called for. “It’s made against us. Don't you think it’s a little fucked up that we’re expected to work for these people for forever? Jump when they say jump, bow when they say bow, and protect them at all costs, including the costs of our lives, when they don’t even feel the need to treat us with basic respect? When they feel like they can treat us like we're curses when literally all we’re doing is protecting them. Thats a little fucked up, right?” he sighed. He’d been noticing it so much lately. Everytime he had to choke down a disgusting curse for some ungrateful bastard that looked at him like he was sum. It made him sick.
You stayed quiet. You didn’t know what to say. You shook your head aggressively to shake his words out. “No, im sorry, mass murder is wrong.” “Y/n, be rational. You’re the one that's saying it’s our job to make a world that's better for the future generations. That’s all I want to do. Make a world that's better for you, Satoru, me, our future kids..” “You have no right to bring up a future you threw away Suguru.” you hissed at him, hatred dripping from your voice. It stung him. It stung him a lot. “I didn’t throw anything away! I’m trying to secure it! Who gives a shit if a few maggots die if it means we get to thrive in the future?!” he growled, trying to control his temper.
It was only then that it really hit you what he was suggesting. “Geto,,are you suggesting we kill all non sorcerers?” you asked, the disgust evident on your face. He didn't have to answer. “Geto, that’s fucking textbook eugenics.” that feeling of vomit was creeping up your throat again. How was this the same man you fell in love with? The same man that held you so tenderly every night, and professed his love. The man that swore to you he was going to show you all the good music, and all the beautiful things life had to offer. How the fuck was this the same man that had somehow convinced you to love yourself?
“Get out, leave!” you yelled, finally losing it, tears of anger, sadness, and fear rolling down your face. “My orders are to kill you onsight and you're so fucking lucky I used to love you. Get the fuck off my lawn before I exorcize you like the fucking curse you are!” you yelled, your rage taking over and cursed energy rolling off you in waves.
Geto realized this was a losing battle. He’d lost you. For now, at least, “Fine. Fine, I’ll fucking go!” He snapped. “But I’m coming back for you darling. Once I finally make a world that is objectively better than the hellscape we’re in now, I’m coming back for you. Don't worry baby, I promise there won't be any hard feelings about tonight.” he said as he left. “If you do, I promise I won't hesitate to kill you on the spot!” you screamed at his back as he left. He was gone as quick as he came. And the moment he was out of ear shot, you crumpled into a mess of tears, mourning the man you had once loved so fucking much.
The spider lilies started growing in that very spot the very next summer. It was with them you sat now, tears in your eyes as you remembered the man that you had trusted the most, and the man that had let you down the hardest. Your parents we’re long since gone, leaving you with the house and the lilies to take care of. It was just you in that house now. “Y/n?”
Oh, and him. Gojo had moved in a few months back, mostly to keep an eye on you. He had become insanely protective of you since what he referred to as the incident. You couldn't blame him. You just hated that his eyes had the same look Sugurus did when they looked at you, before everything went to hell. “Y/n how long have you been out here?” he asked from the back door, making his way over to you. “I’ve been looking for you for hours” he muttered as he kneeled next to you.
You forced a smile to him. “Oh really? Damn, I must have really lost track of time.” you laughed, taking his hand as he helped you up. “Yea, you really did.” he chuckled, shaking his head. “You really like these flowers for some reason.” he muttered more to himself than you. He hated them personally. They made his heart ache and he didn’t even know why. You just shrugged. “I dunno. They just remind me of simpler times, I guess? I don't know” you shrugged.
He chuckled softly at you and shook his head. “Well, come on inside. Dinners done.” he grinned, proud of himself for cooking for the two of you. You grinned “oh hell yea!” you laughed as you followed him inside, taking one last look at the lilies, before closing the door.