Chapter Text
There was a letter laying neatly on the coffee table when Lupin and his gang had woken that morning. A letter that had not been there before, with a simple wax seal and well written cursive, addressing each of them by name. An oddity to be sure, given how careful they’d been in moving to one of their newest hideouts.
Nevertheless, mysterious letters were meant to be opened, and Lupin just couldn’t resist.
There was an urgency in the letter, a desperation to steal back something already stolen, and as soon as possible, and that they were the only ones thought skilled enough to pull it off.
The letter was a curiosity, and Lupin was an infamous cat.
After long hours of travel, Lupin and his gang got to the old warehouse, up in the hills of the California Bay Area. On their way, there was an expectation to be meeting a crime lord, an affluent widow, or a political figure of some intrigue, and they muttered theories among themselves as they approached the doorway, wondering about their pay, the objective, the target. Lupin played along, throwing out his own shoddy theories for fun, but he knew their liaison was none of their guesses.
They climbed up the rickety metal stairs to the long abandoned office space, with Jigen finally starting to grumble his concerns. At the top, they were met not with some rich Silicon Valley billionaire or aging entrepreneur, but a woman barely younger than the lot of them, feet up on the table and on the phone, looking away from the entryway.
“I owe her this much, Hakon, and I’m the only face out of us all that they’ll be able to stomach.” She paused, eye glinting as the flash of blue movement grabbed her attention. She lowered her voice. “I’ll call you back. They’re here.”
She put her feet down, looking the newcomers up and down with a suspicious, leering gaze. Then, she sighed, and gestured to some chairs.
“There’s plenty of these junky old things lying about if you want to sit...”
“I think I’m good back here.” Jigen said, leaning against the wall opposite the young woman. Goemon did the same, but with no comment of his own.
“Well well well~” Lupin said, already grinning. “I have to say, you don’t seem the type to be hiring professionals like us.”
Varia raised a brow. “I didn’t think you’d be the type to dress for a disco, but here you are. You gonna sit or not?”
Fujiko hid an amused chuckle, and for a moment Lupin seemed to be caught a little off guard. Here was a woman wearing an old hooded jacket and a novelty t-shirt, and he was the one out of style? No matter, he took it in stride, and put his chin in his hands, leaning onto the table oh so sweetly.
“Be that as it may, you got us to drag our butts all the way across the world, so I’d love to know what a little artiste is doing hiring wanted criminals? I don’t peg you as the rich heiress in disguise type.”
“You did your research, Lupin the Third.” The woman replied, the corner of her mouth twitching into a momentary smile.
“I always do my research, Varia Barros.” Lupin hummed, giving her a wink. If he’d hoped for a reaction, he got none.
Varia sat back, crossing her arms. “Well, then it should be obvious that I’m not the one hiring you for this deal. I’m here because I owe my friend a favor. The owner of the stolen property is busy trying to find the mole who helped the thieves, so I’m here in her stead with the paperwork and incentive.”
“Paperwork?” Jigen asked.
“Incentive?” Fujiko added with a gleam.
“Well, one paper. A contract,” Varia replied, pulling it from the inside of her jacket, as well as a nice fountain pen. “Everything’s written clear as day, no fine print.”
“What exactly is it we’re stealing?” Goemon asked, approaching the table to inspect Varia and the parchment she’d placed down.
“Dragon eggs.” Varia said, and that time she smiled, waiting for the reactions.
“Like... giant rubies or something?” Jigen asked.
Varia shook her head. “No. I mean real bonafide Carpathian dragon eggs.”
The only one who seemed to catch on was Goemon, who nodded his head as the others stared blankly at her.
Lupin raised a brow, and finally took a seat.
“You’re not just pulling our legs, are ya?”
Varia leaned forward, hands folded on the table.
“This is going to sound really fucking weird. But I need you all to think back and try to remember if you’ve ever encountered monsters or other supernatural phenomena before.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jigen snorted.
“She’s not.” Goemon retorted. “I’ve battled dragons, you know that.”
“A man who has pierced the veil,” Varia affirmed with a mysterious, yet knowing tone. ”And done it enough times to remember what lies beyond.”
“I’ve seen plenty. Though you speak as if it has a name.”
“That’s because the land of monsters does.”
“This cryptic talk’s getting on my nerves.” Jigen mumbled. “I mean. Monsters? You know I don’t believe in that supernatural crap, right?”
“I really don’t care if you believe it or not. Now, less questioning, more focusing.” Varia replied, snapping her fingers. “And I mean focus. It takes a little bit to remember an encounter.”
She could see the way Lupin and Fujiko’s eyes dulled as they thought, with the gunman’s expression hidden by the brim of his hat. She waited, and Goemon waited, and soon the clarity came back to Lupin, who quickly slapped his hand down on the metal table.
“I met the ghost of a little girl when we were in Italy! I think I set her spirit free, or something like that.” He scratched his cheek, looking sad. “She’d been there a long time, she just needed some help moving on, I guess.”
Varia nodded. “That’s surprisingly commendable of you.”
“Wait, you mean that shitty haunted hotel?” Jigen half shouted. “There was a real ghost there and you still had us stay there!?”
“I didn’t know she was real until I climbed the tower and found, uh…” Lupin looked sheepish in saying it. “Her, uh, body.”
Jigen just scoffed, sucking on his cigarette harder.
Fujiko, meanwhile, tapped her nails on the metal table, focusing, and the light came to her as well.
“I helped the Loch Ness monster escape some old creep trying to kill her!”
Lupin nodded his head, then nodded it faster with a sharp recollection. “You know? I remember seeing her too! We helped you with that one!” He leaned back and looked at Jigen, who’d pulled a cigarette and begun to smoke. “What about you?”
Jigen paused, his face unreadable under his hat, as he took a long drag and went still. He thought hard, and eventually exhaled and slumped back, breathing out fine smoke.
“I grabbed a mermaid’s ass once.”
A silence fell on the room, and all eyes looked upon him with disappointment. He frowned.
“What? It was for that chick with the comatose boyfriend.”
Jigen felt a prickle down his neck, but covered it up with another long drag of his cigarette, chewing the butt of it while he too came to read over the contract.
“‘The employed will be tasked with the safe retrieval and return of the four dragon eggs to Alyona, the guardian and primary owner’.” Lupin muttered, mulling over the page. “‘Incentive to be freely given before signing, with no circumstances to have incentive returned... Travel expenses handled by the employed,’ of course.” He squinted. “Liaison will travel with the employed,’ he blinked, and looked up in surprise. “Hey! That’s you!”
Varia shrugged. “Everything look good? I had to write that thing up myself you know.”
“Looks fine to me! But I would love to see that incentive.”
Varia smiled, reaching into a pocket within the inner lining of her jacket. One by one, she placed down four shining red rubies, beautifully cut and shimmering.
“Alyona has promised a dragon’s fair share of treasure for the return of her eggs. You’re free to keep these.”
The expressions on everybody changed as they snatched up and examined the precious stones up close, turning them over in their fingers, checking them against the dim light. Lupin brought a device out and held it up to his eye, turning the stone around before whistling.
“Real genuine rubies! And what gleamers, too!”
The rest of the gang trusted Lupin’s insight, and quickly pocketed their own gems.
“So what’s the plan?” Jigen asked.
Varia placed a small bag that looked like it’d seen better days on the table, and pulled photographs and a beaten up map from it.
The photographs showed a strange facility from a high vantage point, hidden in a field surrounded by thick woods and high mountains. The place looked air tight, dots of soldiers walking the perimeter far below, and slots with shining weapons of modern and medieval make stuck out like sore thumbs. The only places that might have had windows were on the inside, as the facility’s top layer was almost entirely made of thick, reinforced glass. The glare was too strong to see inside, but there was no clear way in without being there in person.
“The dragon eggs are being held here, that’s all we know right now. It’s a well armed facility in the Uncompahgre National Forest. My camera guy tried to get some better photos but he got spotted and had to retreat.” Varia clenched her fist. “I don’t know what they want with those dragon eggs, but they’re going to regret stealing them.” There was a lull in the room, and then Varia sighed, pushing the fountain pen towards Lupin.
“If everything looks good, I need you all to sign this.”
Lupin called everybody over, and each of them looked over the document, looking for loopholes, ways they might be cheated or lied to, false pretenses. But all was as claimed. Straightforward and clear. Perhaps some details were left purposely vague, but they were dealing in something supernatural, so perhaps that was for the best.
Lupin, ever bold, took the pen and signed his name; a charming and quick-stroked cursive. Fujiko followed with a more looping, elegant form. Jigen wrote his name in sharp, messy lines that looked more like chicken scratch than anything, and Goemon signed his name in bold strokes, as if he was more accustomed to a brush than a fountain pen. Varia smiled, signing her name above theirs in her own fashion. ‘V.B.’ followed by a looping line and two dots that resembled an owl’s face.
“Signed and sealed,” she sighed, rolling up the contract. “Let’s go. I know where we can get wheels.”
“We have a car already!” Lupin said innocently.
“Did you steal it?”
“... yes.”
“Cool, I don’t want to be driven around in stolen shit.” She started towards the way out, slinging her heavy bag over her shoulder. “We can trade it for a nice camper. I know a guy.”
The car lot looked run down, more like a junkyard than a place to stash and resell a stolen car. Granted, that’s what made it the perfect place for such a transaction, and everybody followed after Varia as she approached the old shack in the dead center of the property.
The trip to the yard had been silent, despite Lupin trying to pry more information from his new employer.
Now, the woman was striding up to the shack, tapping at a large bell at a stall that looked like it doubled as a front porch.
“Hey Jester! You’ve got customers. Flat shoes!”
There was a crash from inside the shack, and the shutters of one of the windows shifted as somebody peered out from behind the old, dirty glass. Jigen already had a hand twitching near his pistol, but after more commotion he relaxed.
From the curtains in the doorway sprang a tall fellow with round, owl-like eyes, wearing a bright red trapper hat.
“Ahh! So good to see you, Varia! Finally trading in that old Subaru of yours? Where’s your boy-toy?
Varia smiled back. “My husband is at home minding the car and working to expand the new house.”
“Do give the big lug my love, dear! Not the same around here without him. Anyways! Who and what have you brought me today, V?”
She gestured her head back towards the thieves, and their bright, shiny car.
“Stolen rental and some contractees.”
Jester leaned to see around Varia and examine the four behind her, then lowered his voice a fraction.
“They from the city?”
“They’ve never been.”
Jester nodded his head, hummed, and then jumped out and did a tiny salutation.
“Well then, hello! I’m Jester and word is you’re looking to trade in some misplaced property!”
Lupin did a tiny salutation back.
“Lupin the Third at your service, Jester! We’re looking for some better wheels!”
“Well! Look around the lot! For that beauty back there it’ll get ya just about anything, long as it isn’t already scrapped or sold!”
“We’re looking for a camper to fit the five of us, actually.” Varia replied, turning to face the excitable businessman. “A working one.”
Jester prickled, then scratched his hairy neck.
“I got a nice one right now, but I’m meaning’ to sell her for some big money! That car you got there’s a beaut, but that camper’s just worth more.”
“Jester,” Varia sighed, then started to speak in a different language, one that not even Lupin or Fujiko knew.
They went back and forth, incomprehensible to any of Lupin’s gang, with the only clues being facial expressions and tone of voice. There seemed to be an argument brewing, and then the word “Alyona”, which Lupin recalled being the one hiring them for the mission. He tried to find words that sounded familiar, but outside of names, he couldn’t even understand the roots. It had to be an old language, and it was a nuisance that he couldn’t comprehend it.
Then Jester was back, looking a little less smiley, and he gestured for the group to follow.
“Alright, let’s get you set up.”
He grumbled the whole way to the camper, hands stuffed in his pockets as he slouched. Lupin and the rest inspected the vehicle inside and out. Good tires, well looked after engine, and the inside was accommodating enough for the lot of them.
“It’s a real nice camper, Jester.” Varia said, smiling.
“Yeah, yeah, and it was gonna be more profitable than that rental you brought me.” He scowled at her. “I’m only cutting the deal for Alyona’s sake! The poor dame.”
“That’s why she hired the best.” She said, smiling, before shaking his hairy hand. “Keys, darling?”
He shook back, and then placed the keys into her open palm. “Yeah yeah. You get outta here before I change my mind!”
Soon enough, the party of five were settling into the camper, and preparing for the trip ahead.
The day was late by the time they finally left the car yard, and later still when they’d stopped to get the fridge and pantry stocked up. Starting their adventure at night was a tempting thought, but the travel to America had already been long and tiring, and Fujiko was complaining, so Lupin moved along for a few miles, and tucked them all into a rest stop for the night. At the very least, it would be easier to start their trip rested. It was a few days to Oregon.