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“I promise I’ll come back to you, once this blows over, we can start a new life together somewhere.” He whispered into his skin. “Near the beach?” Jimin asked,tracing circles on his tattooed arms. “Yes, anywhere you want my love. I’ll always be with you.”
. . . . .
Jeongguk’s voice echoes in his mind. His promises always felt so real, so real that Jimin believed everything he said.
And now he lays alone, in a bed way too big for him. The ghost warmth of Jeongguk’s overheated body blankets Jimin's shaking frame. He could imagine it, how he’d wrap his arms around his twitching body and kiss him better. How the gentle words would soothe him, how his promise of the future shows up in his dreams.
The hollow hole in Jimin’s heart caves deeper and deeper, each memory of him replaying in his head, breaking him harder and harder.
He reaches out and clenches at the sheets, the side where jeongguk slept. The countless memories of him laying there, barefaced with eyes filled with love, made Jimin cry harder. Sobs rack his entire body, voice horse from the screams of pain.
His heart aches and shatters, like delicate porcelain. Broken pieces forever unmendable, Jimin wonders if he’d ever be ok again. Jeongguk completed the other part of Jimin, but he also took away both parts when he left. Jimin wonders if he’ll ever have a heart again.
. . . . .
The moment he saw the horse without jeongguk, his heart dropped. Jeongguk should be fighting at Hochuk. It would take a horse 4 days to arrive back at Gyunju. Questions swirled in his mind as the horse approached Jimin.
Why did it come here? Why isn’t it at the castle?
Where’s jeongguk?
The horse shouldn’t be at his hut, it’s far away from the castle. How could Jeongguk fight without his horse?
The horse neighed and started kicking, as if telling Jimin to get on. He quickly soothed him down, petting his nose and fur. Dried blood coated his locks, dirt clinging to its body.
What caught Jimin’s eye was the piece of paper strapped to its neck. He took and unraveled it, recognising the royal seal at the bottom.
Dearest Jimin,
I’m sorry my love, I broke my promise. If you’re reading this then that would mean I didn't make it back. Our men are outnumbered and the Hochuk army is caging us in. I don't know if I’ll make it, or if anyone will. By the time you’re reading this, Hochuk should already be at the castle. My love, you have to run,they will kill anyone of Gyunju blood. Bring the emergency bag and my coat, take my horse and get out of there. You should have a head start, so don't be scared of getting caught.
Please always remember that I love you. Once I get out of here, I’ll find you, I promise, and we’ll live together, just the two of us.
Please forgive me my love.
Your dearest jeongguk.
Tears well up in Jimin's eyes, as the truth sits in. Jeongguk’s gone…
Loud cheers echo in the woods, even in the outskirts of Gyunju, the shouts and screams of the innocent can be heard. His adrenaline spikes up, he safely pockets the letter into his pouch and goes to grab his things. Not forgetting Jeongguk’s coat and the only photo they have of each other. He swiped all of the expensive jewellery and millions worth of coins Jeongguk gave him.
He unloaded everything on the horse in record time speed, with a final look at his hut, he ran.
Tears streamed down his face as they galloped out of the woods, and across the border, crossing into Kangnam territory. Jeongguk was right, no guards stopped him as he escaped, still getting their way into the castle.
The screams of the innocent echoed in his head, but the only thing he could think of was his love. Jimin grips onto the reins harder, he doesn’t know where he’s going, all he knows is that he needs to get out of there. He couldn't let Jeongguk die in vain. He’ll live for the both of them, even if it hurts so much.
. . . . .
Yeonsu was everything Jimin dreamed of. Beautiful beaches and peaceful promenades. Nothing like the bustling capital, it was quiet and serene.
He can't help but think that jeongguk would like it here, away from his royal duties, away from the expectations and rules of the court, and just with him, happily in love.
Jimin found Yeonsu by accident, after weeks of travelling and staying at inns, a travelling salesman recommended Yeonsu for a nice little getaway. And now Jimin's settled here for 6 months.
He found a new job taking care of injured marine animals. A perfect distraction to his aching heart. Never letting himself rest, he’d throw himself into his work for weeks on end until he’d pass out from exhaustion, and then repeat the cycle over and over again.
Every waking moment is spent thinking about jeongguk, crying himself to sleep became the norm. The hole where his heart used to sit growing bigger and deeper every day. Maybe one day he’d wake up and his ribs would close up on him and eternal sleep would bless him.
He misses him so much. He’d wake up in the morning and reach over, trying to feel his body against him, until he remembers that he’s gone. Darkness clouds his mornings and night times.
The moon became his friend, always lending a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes he’d look up in the sky, and wonder if jeongguk’s happy up there. He hopes he is, Jimin wouldn’t be able to stand it if he didnt.
. . . . .
He doesn’t know why he’s here. Back at the place that haunts him every night. It’s been 2 years since the takeover, and the city of Gyunju is back to normal. But all Jimin see’s are the ghosts of jeongguk.
His shadow in the townsquare where they used to sneak out to, his cologne in the coffee shop they frequented a lot. Everything and everywhere reminded him of Jeongguk.
Tomorrow would mark the day Jeongguk died. He couldn't stand being in Yeonsu, when Jeongguk should have been there with him. Going back to the ground they used to walk on soothed him, there's always a part of jeongguk in Gyunju.
Galloping from the market into the woods, where his empty hut would lay. Jimin doubts that it would be demolished by the guards, as it was well hidden. Only those who knew the way would be able to find it.
But that doesn’t cross out the chance that someone would find it.
He rounded the corner and made a sharp turn through the thick trees. Expecting no one would be there, the horse ran at full speed. Until it suddenly reared back, catching Jimin by surprise. He slid from its back and landed in a heap on the dirt floor.
“Woah calm down there girlie, it’s good to see you too.”
Jimin’s heart stopped, the voice he thought he’d never hear again, sounded through the silent forest. So unmistakably his.
Jimin slowly lifted his eyes and landed on tatted hands, stroking the nape of the horse. Tears welled up in Jimin’s eyes, longing and love swirling in his hollow heart.
He stood up and stepped to the side. “Jeongguk-“ he whispered, fearful that he’s just a hallucination, that he’d disappear at any moment.
But jeongguk snapped his eyes to look at him, his face thinner than when he last saw him, hair longer, tied up into a bun. Even with the changes, he’s still the same jeongguk he never stopped loving. His eyes darkened at the sight at Jimin and so many emotions swirled through them, he opened his mouth, but Jimin cut him off, flinging himself onto the taller.
Sobs racked his body as he touched him, trying to take it all in, that he’s alive and well, that he stayed at the hut, waiting for Jimin to return.
All the love he had in his broken heart, dormant, now so active and alive.
“You’re ok, I’m ok, I’ve got you my love.” He murmured into his hair, his hand gripping Jimin’s waist tightly, afraid to let go. And Jimin lets himself be held, sobs calming down at the sound of his love’s voice, comforting him and himself.
After 2 years of dread, of assuming the worst, Jeongguk's ok, he waited for him. Jimin pulled his head away from his chest and grabbed his cheeks, pulling him in a long overdue kiss. The passion shown for being apart for so long.
“I can’t believe it’s you, i thought you didn't make it.” Jimin whispered against his lips, wiping the tears streaming down Jeongguk’s face.
“I got captured, but managed to escape. But I knew that you’d have been long gone from Gyunju. I didn’t know where to go so I came back here, hoping that you’d come back one day, and you did.” Tears stream down more and more. The lovers cried in each other’s arms, finally back together. “I’m never leaving you ever again.” They whisper promises to each other.
That night under the covers, they mapped each others bodies once again, burning kisses everywhere. This marks the day of their new beginning, one with just the two of them.
. . . . .
Epilogue
Ocean waves wash up on the beach, gentle breeze of spring fanning their cheeks. Jimin was right, Jeongguk loved Yeonsu. If jimin liked it 5 years ago, he’s madly in love with it now.
Finally without the court to judge, or with a royal title over the top of Jeongguk’s head, he’s been happier. Now with the love of his life, living the life he always wanted. He leaned down and placed a loving kiss on his thick lips, making him giggle. “Love you” he whispered. His eyes showing every emotion he has for the elder. Making Jimin soft.
“Love you too, so much.” Jimin kissed him again. Under the sun, they make out (maybe also love, but no one’s there to judge them.)
As the sun sets on the horizon, with jimin in Jeongguk’s lap, the broken porcelain pieces has been swept up, and now made into a brand new heart, so much more delicate and pretty.
Jimin places a kiss on Jeongguk's heart and stares at the sea. Yeonsu feels perfect now.