Work Text:
“We should break up.”
When the world stops moving, Mina is 22 years old.
“I’m sorry, Mina.”
Her grip on the edge of her shirt is the only thing she can feel, the ringing in her ears is loud, loud, loud.
“There’s a lot I need to think about.”
She shuts her eyes, unwilling to take in the magnitude of her words.
“I just...need time for myself.”
Her apartment, their apartment, their home, is anything but that.
“And...I...just don’t think I can do that while we’re together.”
Nayeon’s voice ripples through water, creating waves that will wash over Mina, drowning her as she is lost at sea.
“I’m sorry.”
Her last words are a murmur, and Mina isn’t sure if they’re meant for her or if Nayeon is speaking to herself.
She hears the footsteps, tap, tap, tap, tap, creak. It’s the loose floorboard they’ve been meaning to get fixed ever since they moved in.
It’s right in front of the door, and the creak resounds through Mina’s ears, so much so that she doesn’t hear the door close.
The world only started spinning when Mina was 18 years old.
She huffed as she brought her bags up to the stairs. What sort of dorm had four floors but no elevator?
“Woah. You okay there?”
Mina couldn’t even see who she was talking to, but it had been such a long day, she couldn’t help but snap back.
“What do you think?”
“I think you might need some help.”
She clicked her tongue.
“Yes, please.”
“Here, let me take that.”
The voice took the bag in front of Mina’s face, revealing her features.
A sharp inhale of breath, as if she had only just learned how to breathe.
“There you go. What floor’s your room on?”
If the dictionary had pictures to define their words, she would have been the definition of beauty.
“Third, I think...306.”
Then she smiled, and Mina almost tumbled, the force of the world turning on its axis as it began to spin.
“Hey, that’s my room! I guess we’re roomies!”
As if to anchor herself to a point, to prevent herself from falling, she smiled back at her.
“I suppose we are.”
She stood atop the flight of stairs, smiling down at Mina, and it was only then that Mina realized the world only began to spin because she was in the presence of a star.
“I’m Nayeon. Im Nayeon. Funny, huh?”
“...yeah, that is funny.”
Mina cries.
She grasps at her pillow, her tears dripping onto its cloth, spreading over as wet patches form on the sheets.
There is an emptiness that surrounds her, engulfs her, strips away the warmth from her being.
She clutches at air, her body calling for another source of heat, one that used to be by her side, taking up the other side of the bed.
Soft howls leave her mouth, the cry of a lover for their other half. It isn’t answered, and that fact only intensifies her sobs.
Her bedroom feels hostile now. Every little detail, from the dresser they picked out at a garage sale, to the lamp they’ve broken over and over again but always patch up, to the numerous polaroids and printed selcas they’ve taken together that are taped to the wall.
They are punches to her gut, leaving her breathless and doubled over, gasping for breath.
Her phone buzzes, calls and texts from her work, her friends, her family.
She does not hear it.
She should be hearing the shifting of sheets as Nayeon’s legs softly kick. She should be hearing Nayeon’s light snores as she leans into her arms. She should be hearing the beating of her heart as her head rests on Nayeon’s chest.
Instead, all she hears is silence.
Mina cries.
“I’m home.”
Mina jumped slightly at the sound of Nayeon’s voice. She hurriedly set the last of the table for dinner.
“Welcome home.”
Nayeon walked into their dining room. Her eyebrow rose upon seeing the dining table, a variety of dishes that Mina had cooked for the two of them.
“What’s all this?”
Mina bowed her head slightly. She was slightly nervous that this was a bit too much.
“I just wanted to thank you for helping me move into the dorm.”
Nayeon hummed, looking over the table. Then a grin formed on her lips, and Mina’s fears slipped away.
“Well, I would say there’s no need, but honestly, I can’t complain! Thanks, Mina!”
She giggled as Nayeon excitedly sat down.
“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Mina-yah.”
There was an air around Nayeon that drew Mina close, like she was being drawn into orbit.
She didn’t know what it was, but she found that she didn’t mind being pulled into it.
It was inevitable.
“Mitang, please, you have to eat.”
Mina lets out a low moan, hearing Momo click her tongue.
“It’s been two weeks, you can’t keep living like this.”
She hears a slap of the arm.
“Momoring, be more sensitive. You know how important she was to her.”
She opens her eyes, wincing as the sun glares through the window. Her eyes are sore and bloodshot, she can tell.
“...I’m sorry, Mitang.”
Momo’s eyes are soft as she sits in front of Mina, by her legs. Sana is by her side, rubbing her back as she sits up groggily.
“You didn’t do anything.”
Her voice is hoarse, only having been used for sobs and groans.
“Still, Momo’s right, Mina. You have to eat something besides instant noodles and canned food.”
Mina sighs, looking down at her hands, the spaces in between her fingers where Nayeon’s used to fit so perfectly.
“Did I do something wrong, Sana?”
Sana frowns further, leaning into Mina to provide some semblance of comfort.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Mina.”
She clenched her fists, the absence of her hand in hers causing a new wave of heartache throughout her whole body.
“Then, why did she leave?”
Mina sees Sana look at Momo helplessly.
Neither of them can give her an answer that satisfies the broken emptiness in her chest.
She brings her hands up to her face to cry again.
“I’m surprised you get along so well with Nayeonnie, Mitang!”
Mina paused before lifting the chopsticks up to her mouth.
Nayeonnie.
That sounded nice.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Momo, mid-chew, answered for her.
“You and Nayeon are so different, you know. She’s like...the most extroverted person I know. Besides Satang, of course.”
She swallowed, and Mina found herself chuckling in amusement.
“As for you...well, just look at you.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Momoring! That’s mean.”
“What? It’s true! Our Mitang is the homebodiest homebody that has ever homebodied!”
Mina rolled her eyes, continuing to eat.
“She’s right, though, Mitang. What’s so special about Nayeonnie that you became friends?”
She thought for a few seconds. She still couldn’t put a name to it. Her friends weren’t wrong. She didn’t take to people quickly. So why was it so easy with Nayeon?
“I’m not sure. Things just...make sense with her.”
It only made sense for the world to rotate, after all.
Nayeon left her favorite jacket.
Mina’s not sure if she did it on purpose. She rarely ever traveled without it.
She reaches out for it as it hangs inside her closet.
Holding it in her hands is enough for tears to spill from the corners of Mina’s eyes.
She bundles it and buries her face in its cloth.
It still smells of her perfume, subtle and not too strong on the nose, one of Mina’s favorite scents.
In her arms, it is a far cry from the warmth that Nayeon seems to naturally give off when she embraces Mina, pulling her close.
It is cold in her apartment, and the jacket is the only thing that has come close to giving her warmth.
She puts it on, and she imagines it’s Nayeon that warms her.
It helps.
The world is slowly starting to spin again, and it is because Mina herself wants it to.
“Nayeon?”
It was a cozy night. The two lounged on the couch, Nayeon leaning on Mina’s shoulder as some romantic movie played on the TV.
“Shush, Mina-yah. I’m watching the movie.”
Nayeon scrunched up her nose and mouth cutely, putting a finger to her lips as Mina chuckled.
“Okay.” She murmured softly.
Nayeon, satisfied, leaned back on her shoulder, humming contentedly.
Mina took in the girl next to her. She was so close, their clothes the only barrier between true skinship between them.
Her heart was bouncing, shaking, vibrating. Mina did not know what to think of it.
“Cold?”
Nayeon noticed her shivering slightly. Mina nodded.
“Let me get a blanket.”
She stood up, going over to their bedroom, returning after a moment to take her place next to Mina once more.
“Here, take the other side.”
The blanket draped over them, Mina let out a sigh of satisfaction.
“Thank you, Nayeonnie.”
In truth, she was already warm enough, with Nayeon by her side.
“Anything for you, Minari.”
The soft declaration brought heat to Mina’s cheeks as they both turned back towards the TV.
“Mina?”
She often questioned why she felt this way. Why the world turned on its axis after meeting Nayeon.
“Mm?”
As Nayeon turned to look at her, Mina’s being reflected in her irises.
“I’m glad we’re roommates.”
The world rotated, spun, turned and twirled.
And it was all for her.
“...me too, Nayeonnie.”
“Nayeon.”
The name leaves her lips haltingly, like she cannot believe it is real.
Nayeon shifts her weight from one foot to the other, standing in the doorway of her apartment.
She can’t look Mina in the eye.
“I...left my jacket.”
Mina’s mouth opens, and she looks down at herself. She’s wearing the jacket.
“...right. Of course.”
She takes it off, slowly and deliberately. She doesn’t want to give it. It’s the last thing she has of her.
Funny, how the star that her world was centered around is right in front of her, and yet she feels almost a galaxy away.
When she takes it off, she holds it in her hands, staring blankly at the piece of clothing.
Once she gives this, it will be as if Nayeon never lived with her. As if Nayeon never kept her closest to her heart. As if Nayeon was never the center of her world.
As if Nayeon was never hers.
She clenches it tightly, her fingers tightening around its fabric.
“...never mind.”
She looks up, and Nayeon is looking away. There is a tremble in her voice, one that Mina has only ever heard when Nayeon was at her weakest.
“You can keep it.”
Nayeon turns, and she begins to walk away.
Mina’s hand whips out, grabbing Nayeon’s wrist.
The two of them freeze, the hand around Nayeon’s wrist their first contact in almost a month.
“Don’t go.” Mina whispers.
Nayeon doesn’t make any effort to pull her hand out of Mina’s grip.
“I have to.” Nayeon speaks softly.
“No, you don’t. You never did.”
Nayeon’s arm tenses, and for a moment, Mina is afraid she will leave again. That her world would once again halt in its movement.
She doesn’t leave this time.
“I can’t stay, Mina, I...I’ll hurt you.”
Nayeon chokes out, and Mina can feel her skin clam up.
“I...need to be better. I can’t...I can’t risk hurting you, you’re too important.”
Mina swallows, her other hand clasping Nayeon’s in hers. It feels right. It makes sense. The familiar tumble of the earth rumbles in Mina’s mind.
“You’re already the best for me, Nayeonnie.”
Nayeon shakes her head fervently, almost like a petulant child.
“No, it’s...it’s not enough, I still need to...I need to grow.”
She could feel Nayeon’s resolve slipping, and Mina squeezed her hand tighter.
“...who says you can’t grow with me?”
It is only then that Nayeon looks up at Mina, her eyes shining with fear and hesitation. Tear tracks go down her cheeks, and she hiccups.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Mina.” She repeats.
“But you did, right? You left.”
She looks down again, and Mina can see her knees buckling.
“I-I...”
Before she can fall, Mina slips both her arms underneath Nayeon’s, her legs failing her as she falls into Mina’s embrace.
“I-I’m sorry, Mina, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to leave, I really didn’t want to. I wanted to stay so much, I-I was just so scared and worried that I might hurt you o-or-!”
Everything comes spilling out of Nayeon, and Mina can’t help but shush her, her hand naturally coming up to her head and caressing gently.
“I’m...I’m so sorry, Minari.”
“It’s okay, Nayeonnie.”
They stay there, in Mina’s doorway, sitting on the floor where the creaky floorboard sits. Every time Mina adjusts, she can hear it creak under their weight.
“I don’t want to leave.” Nayeon admits in a whisper.
“Then don’t.”
Nayeon sniffles in her hold.
“Will you...will you tell me? If I’m doing something wrong, or if I’m hurting you, or...”
“I will.”
Mina presses her lips to Nayeon’s head, and she almost loses herself in how natural it feels.
“From now on...together, okay? If...you need to grow, or...or change something, we can...we can always do it together.”
Nayeon’s arms wrap around her, and she buries her face into Mina’s shirt.
“...together.”
She hugs tighter, and she can feel Nayeon’s hold squeeze around her as well. This is how it should be.
Nayeon pulls away, her hands going up to cup Mina’s face.
“I...I love you so much, Mina. I hope you know that.”
Mina smiles, and the world is back to the way it was, falling and stumbling, twisting and turning, spinning and rotating.
All because of Nayeon.
“I know. I love you too, Nayeon.”
When they kiss, their lips fit perfectly against one another’s.
Nayeon liked someone.
Mina could tell. She smiled a little too wide while looking at her phone. She blushed furiously when her friends, particularly Jeongyeon, teased her about a “certain someone”. She stared out the window, letting out deep, contemplative sighs.
Nayeon liked someone, and Mina didn’t feel too good about it.
She looked over to where Nayeon had her eyebrows furrowed, controller in hand as her tongue stuck out.
“Fuck!”
Nayeon groaned as the game over scene appeared on their TV.
“This game’s really hard. I don’t know how you make it look so easy, Mina. It’s really not.”
Mina stayed silent, looking towards the TV as her eyes unfocused.
What business was it of hers if Nayeon liked someone?
Was it because she felt out of the loop? When everyone in their friends seemed to know except Mina?
Or was it because of something else?
“Mina? You okay?”
She blinked out of it, looking back towards Nayeon on the couch. Nayeon was looking at her, concern in her features.
“...yeah, I’m okay. I’m just...”
Mina paused, then turned her whole body to face Nayeon.
“Nayeon, if...if you liked someone...you would tell me, right?”
Nayeon froze. Her eyebrows slightly rose, and she could see her attempting to form a response.
“Where...is this coming from, Mina?”
She deflected. Mina slumped.
“...nothing. Never mind.”
Mina stood up, setting aside the pillow she was keeping on her lap.
“W-where are you going, Minari?”
Nayeon put away her controller, her eyes widening as Mina got up.
“To bed. I’m not feeling so well.”
She walked to her bedroom, the unsettling feeling in her stomach intensifying.
“Wait, Mina-!”
She put her hand on the door knob, turning back to see Nayeon scrambling to get up.
“You can have dinner without me, Nayeon. I’ll see you in the morning.”
With a heavy heart, Mina twisted the door knob.
“It’s you!”
Her hand clenched.
“W-what?”
Nayeon was looking at her, panic in her features as she blurted out the first that came to her mind.
“It’s you, Mina, I like you!”
And suddenly, everything made sense.
“M-me?”
Nayeon froze once again, then scratched the back of her head as a deep red came over her cheeks.
“I...did not mean to say that.”
Mina turned away from the door.
“But...did you mean it?”
Nayeon hesitated, but nodded.
“I...I did. I like you, Mina.”
Mina felt it again. Her feet almost gave way, the spinning of the world making her dizzy.
“Okay.”
Nayeon wrung her hands, looking up at Mina through her eyelashes.
“So, um...do you like me back?”
Mina moved closer, until she was right in front of Nayeon. She took her hand, and it fit perfectly into hers.
“I...I think I do.”
Nayeon’s lips curled.
“You think you do?”
Mina matched her smile.
“I do. I like you, Nayeon.”
Nayeon sighed, relieved and happy.
“Good. That’s...that’s good. Great, even.”
Mina took her other hand. This close to Nayeon, every slight movement of her body was visible in Mina’s periphery.
“Nayeonnie...can I kiss you?”
Nayeon inhaled sharply.
“Please. Please do.”
Mina wasn’t sure why the world spun the way it did when Nayeon was with her. She wasn’t sure why everything made sense when it came to Nayeon. She wasn’t sure how she’d come to feel so deeply for Nayeon.
But to her, the reason didn’t matter.
All that mattered was that the world was rotating.
And Mina kissed Nayeon.