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“come with me. please. akanen, i’m begging you.”
“no. i’m sorry but i just can’t.”
yuuka downed yet another shot to drown out the memory. somehow being in her most dreamed of place wasn’t feeling as magical and fun as she thought it would be. she looked around the club at everyone dancing and having a good time. that could be her, but instead she was drowning her sorrows in countless shots of alcohol she barely knew the name of. she ignored how much her body was telling her to stop. all she could think about was how much she missed akane. she sighed as she signalled for the bartender to pour her another shot. he considered not serving her anymore, but he could tell that she just needed it.
as she was about to put the glass to her lips, she saw a young woman who looked about her age walking over to where she was sat. “you seem like you could use some company.” the woman smiled. yuuka smiled politely back, but took the shot without replying. she didn’t have the mental capacity to talk to anyone in that moment. all she wanted to do was drink her memories away and then go back to her bed and cry. the woman didn’t seem to take yuuka’s hint, or purposely decided to ignore it. “i’m mizuho. habu mizuho. but most people just call me habu.” the girl explained, reaching her hand out for yuuka to shake. yuuka looked at habu’s hand for a second, before signalling for another shot. seeing that habu wasn’t moving away any time soon, she eventually gave in and shook it. that seemed to please habu judging by her smile.
“i guess i’m yuuka. sugai yuuka.”. habu laughed at yuuka’s reluctance, joking that at least she wasn’t too drunk to remember her own name. “anyway, what’s a pretty woman like you doing drinking alone?” habu asked, flirtatious tone obvious. ‘and there it is.’ yuuka thought to herself, taking the shot the bartender had just put in front of her. she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it, instead deciding to walk off to the bathroom. she immediately looked in the mirror once she got in. she was surprised that there wasn’t anyone else in there, but it was still quite early for the club to be at it’s busiest. she could feel her emotions pouring in now that she was alone. trying to fight away the tears, she splashed some water on her face.
with a deep breath, she headed back into the main section of the club. she noticed habu still sat at the bar with two cocktails in front of her. she considered going to sit somewhere else, but she figured habu could at least be a listening ear. “i thought you’d prefer to drink something that actually tastes nice.” habu smiled, pointing at the drink in front of yuuka. “that’s really not why i’m drinking, but thank you.” yuuka sighed. she couldn’t help but think that she should be flattered by habu’s actions. but somehow, she wasn’t. she could tell habu was very attractive, especially in the loose shirt and jeans she was wearing.
the more she thought about it, the more she missed akane. the dates they went on, the way akane would always dress up her best for them. she thought back to when akane admitted to going shopping at least two times a month to find new outfits she could wear to impress yuuka. why couldn’t she have put that much effort into their relationship when yuuka truly needed it? she took a sip of the cocktail, noting that it did taste quite nice. habu watched yuuka deep in her thoughts. she was intrigued by her. she wasn’t usually the type to go up to random people in a club, mostly deciding to stick with her friends or have fun alone. but something about yuuka had told her to go for it. even if she would only get a friendship out of it, she could tell yuuka was someone she wanted to care for.
yuuka got her phone out of her jacket pocket. she knew akane wouldn’t be awake yet because of the time difference, but all she wanted to do was talk to her. a sigh escaped her lips as she looked through their chat history. it was all just yuuka begging for akane to say something, anything. all she could feel was loneliness.
“yuuka, i have to say it again. no matter how many times you ask, i can’t go to paris with you. stop being so selfish and only considering yourself for once, please.”
no matter what akane had said, yuuka still had hope that one day she would show up at her door and everything would be as it should be. she was confused why habu hadn’t said anything else, but when she looked up she saw her looking gently at her. as much as she had hope that akane would somehow try and find her, she wondered if she should try and get over her. she was single after all. habu raised her eyebrow at yuuka’s change in expression. she could tell there was a lot going on in her head. she watched as yuuka drank half of her drink in one go. “you might want to slow down.” habu joked, not wanting yuuka to go far past her limit. she couldn’t help but inhale sharply as yuuka leant into her ear. “i will go as fast as i want to.” she whispered, before taking another sip of her drink.
habu wasn’t expecting the closeness at all. was it an invitation that she was free to flirt with yuuka? “well, yuuka, you can go as fast as you want. but i don’t want to have to carry you home.”. yuuka cringed at habu saying her name. it somehow made her think about akane and the way she used to say it. she tried to push the thought away, but it was no good. her thoughts were all full of akane. wanting to get rid of them, she decided to take a big step. with some self motivation she leant forward towards habu, this time to kiss her. habu wasn’t sure what to do, but her attraction to yuuka urged her to go along with it.
yuuka was the one to pull away, immediately taking another sip of her drink after. habu felt frozen in place, she had never been kissed like that before. something about it felt different to her. finally gaining her composure back, she took a page out of yuuka’s book and quickly drank the rest of her drink. she sure needed it. “you might want to slow down.” yuuka joked, making habu laugh. ‘so she’s funny and pretty.’ habu thought to herself, feeling even more attracted to yuuka. she watched curiously as yuuka finished her drink and asked the bartender if she could pay for her tab. she felt a bit disappointed to see that yuuka was already leaving. “i’ll pay for hers too.” yuuka smirked, pointing at habu. as much as habu denied it and said she would pay for her own, yuuka demanded that she would pay for it since habu was being so kind to her. after reluctantly agreeing, she politely thanked yuuka. she didn’t feel too bad since she had only had a few drinks so it wouldn’t be expensive.
she looked up as she felt yuuka pulling at her arm. “take me to your house.” yuuka stated, barely hearable over the loud music. habu simply nodded in response, and walked out of the club hand in hand with yuuka. she noticed yuuka shaking slightly as they stepped outside. taking off her jacket, she offered it to yuuka who accepted with a smile. yuuka had no choice but to force that smile. she was really forcing everything with habu, but she was determined to try and get over akane. it didn’t take long for them to arrive at habu’s apartment, with it only being a short walk away. after letting yuuka in, she went straight to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.
“here, drink this.” she demanded, passing the glass over to yuuka. with a pout, yuuka complied. she knew that she needed it. the walk had clarified how drunk she was, with the whole world seemingly shaking around her. “so what made you want to come here?” habu questioned, taking a seat next to yuuka on the sofa. “to be completely honest, i think i want to get over my ex.” yuuka admitted, not looking up from the glass of water in her hands. habu nodded in understanding. the excessive drinking made sense now. “what exactly do you want to do?” habu asked, trying to get a full grasp of the situation. she was surprised to see yuuka start laughing. “well habu, how would you say is the best way to get over someone?” yuuka asked, implication evident in her voice. habu sighed at the reply. she didn’t want to be someone’s rebound. let alone a drunk woman’s rebound. but there was something very urgent about yuuka’s expression. like if she didn’t find out in that moment then she’d never have a chance again.
that made habu consider it. consider doing whatever yuuka asked of her. “finish your water. then we can talk about it.” habu sighed, leaning back against the back of the sofa. she wanted to make sure yuuka was fully aware of everything. “how drunk do you feel? be completely honest.” habu asked once yuuka had finished the water. she watched as yuuka thought deeply about it. “after the water i would say like a six out of ten. i’m not sober but i know what i’m doing.” yuuka replied seriously. as much as she had to drink, her family tended to have pretty good alcohol tolerances. she knew she would remember most of the night in the morning, which made her second guess herself for a second. was it what she really wanted?
habu contemplated what to do. she could tell that yuuka did know what she was doing, her inner thoughts obvious on her face. standing up, habu took the empty glass back over to the kitchen and placed it in the sink. by the time she got back to the sofa, yuuka had stood up. with a nod, habu walked to her bedroom. yuuka followed along, having a good look at the apartment as she walked through. it was quite nice. she thought that habu must’ve either been working instead of being a student, or had a rich family. she took a deep breath as she walked into the bedroom. she knew that in that moment she should’ve felt nervous or excited, but in reality she felt nothing.
they both silently sat down on the bed. neither of them knew what to say or do. it didn’t feel awkward, but there didn’t seem to be much of an atmosphere at all. knowing what she needed to do, yuuka turned to face habu. as soon as habu looked back at her, she took her chance to move in and kiss her. habu couldn’t help but feel guilty for enjoying it. she was pleasantly surprised when yuuka moved onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her. however, once yuuka started deepening the kiss she came to her senses. “i’m sorry yuuka, but we shouldn’t. we can’t.” habu sighed, pushing yuuka back slightly. yuuka nodded, knowing habu was right. she had tried to hard to feel something, anything, but it wasn’t going to happen. habu wasn’t akane. and that’s who yuuka really wanted.
habu stood up, walking over to her closet. she took out a hoodie and some sleeping shorts and passed them to yuuka. she then took out another of the same for herself. “you sleep in here. i’ll go sleep on the sofa. i’ll make breakfast for us in the morning, okay?” habu explained, walking out of the room when yuuka thanked her. yuuka shook her head at her own actions. after getting changed and getting into the bed, she opened her chat history with akane again. after sending a simple goodnight, she closed her eyes to sleep. she could still feel everything spinning a little bit, but she knew it would’ve been worse without the water.
“if you think i’m sleeping here tonight after all this you’re wrong. goodnight yuuka.”
yuuka could feel the tears on the pillow as she woke up. yet another dream about akane. although it wasn’t much of a dream. mostly just a recollection of memories. as she looked around the room she remembered where she was. she could smell food being cooked, and with a smile she got out of the bed. she was angry at everything. at herself, at akane, at her decision to go to paris anyway. but one thing she wasn’t mad at was habu. walking into the kitchen, she saw a buffet on the table in front of her. bacon, sausages, eggs, different types of french pastries.
“good morning. i didn’t know what you like so i made… everything.” habu smiled, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table to yuuka. following habu’s lead, yuuka sat down too. they ate in silence, with yuuka appreciating how much she needed all the food on a hungover stomach. once they’d done eating, habu took the plates to the sink and left them there to wash up later. she directed yuuka to the sofa, and they both sat down. “so, can you tell me about everything?” habu gently asked. yuuka nodded, mentally preparing herself for it. she hadn’t told the full story yet, so she knew she would struggle at parts.
“i came here for university. i came here on holiday once with my family and fell in love with the place. i had a girlfriend back in japan, akane. we started dating in high school and were pretty much that couple that everyone rooted for. it was perfect really. she was really supportive when i told her i’d be moving here for a few years, but no matter how much i asked she wouldn’t move with me. it resulted in a lot of arguments. i know i was being selfish in wanting her to drop her own plans for me, but i knew nothing would be right without her with me. the day before i left we had a massive argument and she broke up with me and stormed out. to be honest i considered not leaving, but i figured that even if i stayed she would’ve still been mad at me. so i came here anyway. it’s only been a few days. hence why i’m still in the drinking it away phase. i guess when you came over to me yesterday i thought you were attractive and kind and maybe i would be able to get over her. but yeah no it didn’t work.” yuuka explained, surprisingly calm. maybe talking through it would’ve been a more effective way to deal with it.
habu took everything yuuka said in. her urge to care for yuuka only grew. but she knew it would have to be in a platonic way. “well, i’ll always be here as a friend. if you want me to be. if you want to talk, or someone to go drinking with. i can introduce you to my friends too. i know it won’t replace akane, but you won’t be alone.” habu smiled. it did comfort yuuka. she was glad that she at least had someone in this new place so far from home. she heard her phone go off from the bedroom and ran to check it. she felt tears immediately falling as she read the message on the screen.
akanen: stop bothering me