Work Text:
Nick had never really thought about the word ‘afterglow’ before. He’d heard it used and understood, conceptually, that it was how people referred to the feeling that came just after sex, but he’d never had sex before so it wasn’t a notion he’d dwelled on. Except now he had. He’d had sex with Charlie and it had been intense and awkward and giggly and the best thing he’d ever experienced, and afterglow was the perfect word to describe how it felt in the aftermath, lying there in his bed with his boyfriend in his arms.
When Charlie had curled up against his side, half slumped over his chest to hide his face against Nick’s sternum, Nick willingly hugged him close. He would always be there to hold Charlie whenever he wanted to be held, but Nick needed it just as much. They were breathing in sync, still a little quicker than usual, and Nick wanted to cling onto the moment and never let it go. He wanted to bask in how blissful it all was.
They probably needed to get up and clean off so things didn’t end up cold and damp and gross, but Nick wasn’t going to be the one to suggest it. He knew if they got up, Charlie would put his clothes back on, and Nick was revelling in the chance to touch so much of him. Charlie had already pulled up the duvet to cover them both, tucking it under his chin, even though it was too warm to be under the covers and Nick didn’t really understand who Charlie needed to hide from - the house was empty other than the two of them. But if it made Charlie feel safer, Nick was happy to endure the vaguely oppressive heat. He still got to feel Charlie tucked up against him underneath, their legs tangled together and Nick’s fingers tracing up and down Charlie’s spine. While he completely respected Charlie’s reservations, even if he didn’t agree with the intrusive voice in his boyfriend’s head, he loved this. Charlie’s bare chest pressed against his felt nothing short of perfect. As long as Charlie was comfortable, Nick wasn’t willing to ruin the moment.
“How do you feel?” he asked, combing his fingers through Charlie’s hair. It was such a frequent gesture of his that he felt almost giddy doing it now. It made the moment feel so real.
Charlie turned his head just a little so he could speak without the words being completely lost to Nick’s skin.
“Amazing,” he mumbled, and Nick’s heart was so full it could burst. Then Charlie propped his chin up on his hand so he could meet Nick’s eyes. He was halfway to sleep but still fighting against it. “Close to you.”
Those words accompanied by Charlie’s wide, honest gaze peeking out at him under dark lashes made Nick’s stomach swoop wildly. He pressed a kiss to Charlie’s curls and held him a little tighter.
“Nothing hurts?” Nick said, tracing his thumb along Charlie’s cheekbone. That had always been his biggest fear with all of this. Causing Charlie any kind of pain was inconceivable.
Charlie shook his head, his hair tickling Nick’s chest. Nick had already asked the same question and got the same answer dozens of times over that evening, double checking with every new step they took, but he was still relieved at the confirmation.
“Just feel… empty,’ Charlie said, hiding his face again at the admission.
Nick blinked, hit with the overwhelming notion that Charlie’s body missed him. It was absurd and crude and nothing he was going to voice aloud, but it plucked a string deep inside him. He mapped gentle circles with his thumb at the small of Charlie’s back.
“Sorry,” Nick mumbled.
“No apologising,” Charlie chastised him with muffled words, poking him in the chest. “I feel good. It’s just a bit weird.” He kept his face hidden for exactly the length of time Nick knew it took him to calm his blush before he peeked out under his fringe again. “What about you? How do you feel?”
There weren’t even words. Nick wanted to pour his soul out to convince Charlie that he’d never felt quite like that before in his life, but it all felt too big to condense down into something small enough for his voice to contend with.
“Yes,” he said instead.
Charlie giggled, and Nick never wanted to hear any other sound for the rest of his life.
“It wasn’t a yes or no question,” Charlie insisted, poking him again.
Nick knew Charlie deserved an answer. Even if he was being playful about it, there was something desperate under the words. He needed the same kind of reassurance Nick did.
“I know,” Nick mumbled, lips against Charlie’s forehead. “I just feel… everything. All the good things. Just yes.”
“Nerd,” Charlie snorted, but he pressed a kiss to Nick’s chest right after.
“You’re one to talk!” Nick protested, because he was absolutely not the nerd in their relationship.
Not even bothering to argue, Charlie skimmed his fingers in abstract patterns over Nick’s stomach with no idea of the fire he was leaving in his tracks.
“Can we do it again?” he asked, voice barely louder than a whisper.
The words felt like a sunburst in Nick’s chest. Charlie trusted him enough to do this again. He really had enjoyed it. He felt safe being that close to him. It was dizzying and Nick felt the emotion of it all thick in his throat. Not wanting to break down completely, he forced a casual response.
“You might need to give me a few minutes.”
Charlie head-butted him gently. “Not right now,” he whined, protesting the purposeful misinterpretation. “But soon, please?”
“Yeah,” Nick promised. “Yeah, we can definitely do it again.”
He didn’t think about how much it sucked to be so young and still living at home under their parents’ roofs and rules. He didn’t mention how difficult it was to negotiate the free time and closed doors that constituted privacy. They’d find a way, because it made Charlie happy, and that was the most important thing in Nick’s life. And besides, Nick reckoned he might be a little addicted to the afterglow.