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"Hey, Naho! I'm on my way back from the airport right now! Yeah, I know, I know… I'm late. Traffic. I'm fine, really. Stop mothering me," Kakeru laughs at Naho, his worried wife as she frets through the phone…
On the other side of the call is an exasperated Naho, about two seconds away from having a nervous breakdown. "Was the flight at least okay? Any turbulence or anything like that? Did you get sick?"
Kakeru laughs, "Yes, dear, the flight was good. No turbulence and I’m perfectly fine!” Kakeru smiles. “No matter how old you get, you’re still such a mother hen."
Naho’s cheeks reddened, her face flushing. "I-I just care about my husband's well-being! That’s all!" She ends with a sigh, a lonesome one. "The group misses you, and I do too. Will you be home soon?"
"I miss everyone too... traffic is really backed up right now but I should be home in an hour?" Kakeru guesses, not sounding confident in his guesstimate at all before making a quick right turn. "I should pay attention to the road. I love you and see you soon!"
"I love you, too," Naho replied before hanging up.
_____
Naho awakes to the sound of birds chirping outside. As Naho woke up, stretching some, she grabbed her phone. Looking at the home screen, Naho noticed the missed calls from her friends. There were a staggering amount of missed calls, well over a dozen. She doesn’t think much of it, turning onto her side and curling back under the warm blankets. While curled up, Naho had noted that Kakeru wasn’t in bed with her.
'He must be out.' She thought to herself. 'I wonder what for… maybe he’s getting an anniversary gift?'
That day was the fifth anniversary of the day Naho and Kakeru got married. It was a warm, sunny day on June 27th. It was an outside wedding, in perfect view of the sun and shady trees. Naho could remember her friends crying and laughing, clapping as she walked down the aisle in her trailing white dress. She could still remember the way everyone laughed when Hagita tripped while walking with her to the podium, where he officiated the marriage. Out of all the memories, most of all, Naho could remember Kakeru's vows to her:
"Naho, I never would have expected this day to come. When I transferred to your school, I planned to end it all. I was in a much different place, I didn’t see a point to keep on going. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that I'd make it past seventeen, let alone marry the woman of my dreams. I don't have enough words to describe what I'm feeling. You saved me, Naho. You really did. You never gave up on me, no matter how hard things became. When my mom died, I felt so alone, like nobody could help me. But you made it bearable, Naho. You made life worth living. You made me realize that maybe it wasn't entirely my fault. I still have my days where things seem hopeless, but you are always there by my side to help me on those bad days. I know that if I’m with you, I can keep going. You've always been here for me, Naho. When I first moved here, you were my first friend. You always had what I needed. You listened to me, you made me lunch, you were just there. You were there for me. Now, as we get married, it's my turn to be there for you, to be a shoulder for you to cry on.
I'll stand by you forever, and I will always be there for you.
I love you, Naho."
A small smile tugged at the corner of Naho’s lips at the memory. Sighing, she shifted out of bed, feeling sluggish, her feet touching the chill of the wooden floor. She stretched again before leaving her bedroom to make breakfast for herself. She made her way towards the kitchen, the only sound to be heard was the soft slap of her feet against the cool panels.
Along the walls were old and new photos of Naho and her friends. There were ones taken on graduation day, Hagita’s marriage, and Naho’s own to Kakeru. She smiled at them, at the way they hung on the wall.
Opening the fridge, she noted a lack of food.
'I'll text Kakeru to pick some up since he’s already out,' Naho thought to herself, trying to send a quick text to her husband… only to be met with a message that indicated her text didn’t go through. 'Odd...'
Naho continued making her breakfast, making a simple egg with rice. It was Kakeru’s favorite food, despite it being surprisingly bland and basic. She had made it for him any and every chance she got. It was almost routine for Naho to make Kakeru’s favorite food, especially when they first moved in together.
"Naho, I'm back!" Calls a tired Kakeru as he opened the front door. Kakeru had looked utterly exhausted from an especially long day. He kicked his shoes off before entering the house to find his fiance standing by the stove in the kitchen.
"Hi, Hon,” Naho greeted. “How was practice?" Naho asks, trying to shield what she was making.
"It was okay, I suppose... Suwa says hi," Kakeru trails off, cocking his head when he saw the handle of a skillet on a burner. "What are you making?" He asks, pointing out Naho’s odd behavior.
"It’s a surprise!" She answers. “Shoo, shoo!”
"Wha- hey! Why not tell me..?" Kakeru pouts.
Naho giggled as she ushered Kakeru out of the kitchen and directed him to the couch, where he could rest his eyes for a few minutes. She continued with her cooking for less than ten minutes before calling Kakeru to come to the table.
"Tadaa!" She says as she hands him his plate, starry-eyed.
A blush starts to form on Kakeru’s sleepy face. "Eggs and rice? You remembered?"
"Well, duh. I'm your fiance am I not?"
"I suppose so..." Kakeru said as he took a bite of Kaho’s food, a smile lighting up his face. "This… Is… Amazing!! Thank you, Naho!"
Naho laughs at the compliment. "No problem, Kakeru."
Naho chuckles softly to herself at the distant memory. She couldn’t remember the last time she and Kakeru were able to eat together. With Kakeru's soccer team traveling around a lot, Naho was often left eating by herself.
Without noticing it, she made enough food for two people.
"Oops!" She laughed, plating both meals and placing them on the table. "Hm… I suppose Kakeru can have it when he gets home. I hope it doesn’t get cold..."
Naho began to eat, but the food soon began to taste bitter to her. It left a sour aftertaste, like she had eaten something spoiled.
"Were the eggs rotten?” Naho asked as she coughed. “Ugh, they must be..." she pushed the plate away, officially getting up to get dressed.
Naho’s outfit of choice was a simple sun dress and a small purse that she pulled together with a messy braid. She grabbed her purse and walked out the door, she wasn’t entirely sure where she wanted to go.
Naho was simply walking without a destination in mind.
She made her way towards a nearby park, the same one where she and Kakeru would frequent during his days off.
"Naho!" Kakeru had yelled one time, such a long time ago. "Let me push you on the swings!"
"Sure!" Naho had smiled.
The two had rushed towards the swings, bubbling with excitement. Naho plopped herself down on the seat, swinging her legs back and forth.
"Okay Naho... ready?" Kakeru asked.
"Ready!" Naho giggled before Kakeru pulled her swing back before racing forward. "Wahhh! Kakeru! That's too high!" Naho screamed.
"Hehe! That's the fun of swings!" Kakeru laughed despite Naho’s somewhat frightened yelps.
A call broke Naho out of her little flashback. A faint buzzing noise came from one of the pockets in her purse. She dutifully pulled it out, reluctantly answering it.
"Hello?"
"Naho! Finally! I've been trying to call you all day!" A voice, one belonging to Suwa, replied, somewhat frustrated. "How are you feeling? I know today must be hard for you…"
"What do you mean?" Naho asked. "Today is mine and Kakeru’s five-year anniversary! I feel great!"
"Naho..."
"Kakeru is out somewhere in the city at the moment, he must be getting me a gift!" She cheerily said, twirling a stray hair.
Suwa sighs. "Alright, Naho. I'll see you later," Suwa punctuated with a somber atmosphere.
And with that, the call ended.
'Hm. How strange...' Naho thought to herself as she placed her phone back in its place in her purse. In all honesty, the whole day had been somewhat off, but Naho couldn’t quite remember why.
____
"Hello? Are you Mrs. Naruse?" A neutral voice bluntly asked over the phone.
"Yes, I am. What's going on? Is someone hurt? Who is this?" Naho asked worriedly in rapid succession.
"I work for the hospital, Mrs. Naruse,” the voice said, making Naho’s stomach drop. “You were the first person on Mr. Kakeru Naruse's emergency contacts. I hate to inform you that Mr. Naruse has gotten into a crash."
Naho’s hand began to shake.
"He's currently unresponsive as of now, he's at the hospital. I’ll forward you the address and room number he is in."
_____
Naho didn’t get home until late at night. The sound of crickets chirping in the night and people chattering in their respective apartments filled her ears. Naho smiled, knowing she was going to be greeted by her loving husband the moment she would walk through the door.
"Kakeru! I'm ho-" When Naho entered the front door, she looked around and noted that instead of her husband, it was her friends who greeted her. One of which held a baby that looked suspiciously like her husband.
"Naho," Suwa begins, "We seriously need to talk."
"Yeah. You get like this so often nowadays." Murasaka butted in, mumbling.
Naho tilted her head, blindly oblivious to the frustrated atmosphere that greeted her. "I have no clue what you're talking about," Naho’s voice was wavering, deep down she does know but simply didn’t want to admit it.
"I swear! That's enough with this nonsense!" Hagita yelled. "For Christ's sake, you had to give your own fucking child up because you refuse to accept that Kakeru’s de-"
"KAKERU IS NOT DEAD!!" She screeched.
The baby began to cry from the uncomfortable stress radiating off the adults. Naho stared with wide eyes in shock as the child, her child, sobbed.
"I'll take him outside to calm down," Chino says as she excused herself from the foyer.
Naho’s eyes began to well up with hot tears. "Kakeru... he's not- he can't be...dead. He's out getting me a present…"
Suwa approached her, "Naho... you can't keep acting like this. It's not healthy. Kakeru is gone, Naho. He's dead. He’s not ever coming back…" He tried to place a comforting hand on a crying Naho’s shoulder only for her to coldly slap it away.
"SHUT UP!" Naho yelled again. "He's not... he can't..." but then, she remembered.
That night where she lost everything.
"KAKERU!" Naho had yelled, as she raced through the bleak hospital corridor. "WHERE IS HE?!" She called out, almost in hysteria, at the thought of Kakeru being hurt due to an accident.
"I need you to keep your voice down, ma'am," the receptionist says, monotone, "who are you here for?"
"Kakeru Naruse! He’s my husband!" Naho had choked out through worried tears.
She remembered that sinking feeling well.
"Second floor, third door on the right,” the receptionist pointed down the hallway, toward the elevator.
"Thank you!" Naho quickly bowed before transitioning into a dead sprint as she ran to Kakeru.
She had raced towards the room, completely out of breath, desperate to see her husband. When she finally arrives, she wished that she had never bothered to drive to the hospital in the first place.
Kakeru lay helpless in the hospital bed. He was bandaged and bloody almost all around his body, with plastic tubes attached to him. His left arm was completely severed while the right was mangled and broken.
Naho remembered falling to her knees. "No..." she had murmured to herself.
"K-Kakeru?" She whispered, tracing her fingers over her unconscious husband’s face.
"He was coming back from his flight... he's not… there’s no way…"
All of a sudden, the heart monitor went flat. Naho remembered screaming until her lungs gave out.
She pulled at her hair, undoing her brain, desperately trying to make things make sense. "NO! NO! PLEASE! GOD, PLEASE NO! HE CAN’T BE!” Naho yelled hysterically.
Nurses and doctors rushed past Naho’s trembling body. "NO! LET ME SEE HIM!!" She cried as the nurse dragged her by her shoulders her out of the room. "KAKERU!"
Naho remembered.
She remembers all of it: The dreaded call, the frantic trip to hospital, the somberness at Kakeru’s funeral; Naho giving birth only to give it up.
Kakeru was dead.
He's not coming back.
"We're sorry to bring it up like this," Marusaka apologized with sad eyes. "I know that today has been… hard on you."
"Accepting the truth is the first part of moving on," Hagita commented.
Naho lets out a choked sob. "HE PROMISED! HE PROMISED ME THAT HE’D STAY BY MY SIDE! HE PROMISED ALL OF US! Yet... he's gone…"
"He's not gone." Suwa yells, "he's still with us, even if we can't see him."
That made Naho giggle. Of course, Suwa would say some sappy shit like that. The short burst of laughter only lasted for so long, providing a temporary relief, before everything started hurting her all over again– Kakeru was dead and he was never coming back.
Any potential promises they had made together could no longer be fulfilled.
Naho missed out on the first year of her own son's life because she was too stricken with grief to properly take care of him. She basically ignored her friends.
"Suwa... guys…” Naho said, voice now calm and steady,” is it okay if I have some time to myself?" she asked.
Suwa looked at the others, Hagita and Marusaka both giving him a look. "Okay, we’ll see you later, Naho."
Just like that, the three leave.
Naho stared at her floor, refusing to stand up.
'Kakeru... is dead. He promised we'd be together forever.'
How could she go on when the love of her life was gone? Who would wipe her tears for her? Who would hold her and whispers sweet nothings in her ear?
And her baby... her poor, sweet son. The one she neglected in the depths of her grief. She doesn't deserve to be a mother.
She doesn't deserve to live.
Naho got up from her floor, stood up, and headed to the bathroom. She numbly searched through the contents of her medicine cabinet, looking for her pills. Not even bothering to write a note she began to take the pills one by one, one after another.
As she lay on the floor, her body succumbing to the cold unknown, she saw a figure walking towards her.
"Kakeru?" She asks before the world went black..