Chapter Text
The phone is ringing. Now all he has to do is wait. It shouldn’t take too long, his friend was always so quick to pick up, so attentive, always there for him. Bad is just like that, to anyone really, the man’s heart is big enough to spread kindness to his friends and fans, and Skeppy is just lucky enough to be his best friend. Skeppy, it could be anyone, but he chose him, huh, he wonders what he did to deserve having this kind of relationship with the kind of person Bad is. He feels like thanking destiny for that one. Later though, first he needs to solve some things, because he might messed up bad this time-
“Hello?”
Oh! He picked up.
“H-hi Bad” He isn’t nervous, he just has too many things in mind.
“Hi Skeppy” Bad’s tone isn’t his usual energetic self, maybe he already knows.
“Bad, I… I need your help, I really screwed up this time. I said some things wrong and now twitter hates me, and you know how bad I’m at apologizing, and I don’t know what to do”
“What? What did you say?”
“Here, I'll send you the screenshots”
A moment of silence from both of them, then a sigh on the other line.
“I see… Skeppy I… I’m gonna have to be honest, I was expecting that you had called to apologize”
Apologize? For what? Think Skeppy, what did you do this time?... Oh! oh right! He had also said some things wrong to Bad…
“Oh shoot, right, I’m sorry, god I’m such an asshole, I’m sorry, I truly am. It’s just that, you know, I’ve been busy, and it’s been kind of stressful. But I’m gonna make up for it! I promise, once this is over-”
“Once what is over?”
“You know, my goal of uploading everyday and the merch drop”
“Do you really have to do those?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I get that the merch is stressing you out. But, Skeppy, no one is forcing you to upload everyday, and if it’s being this destructive, is it really worth it?”
“‘Course it’s worth it! I promised everyone I would do it, I can’t just drop it! And I’ve been in this kind of situation before, I’ll be fine, I know it looks like I’m not handling it well, but I will at the end, it’s just my work ethic, or maybe more how I work, y’know, under stress”
“...Skeppy…” The way Bad says his name sends shivers down his spine, for the first time he is afraid.
“...yes, Bad?”
“I love you, and I hope everything goes well, but I do need a break from… this situation, you understand, right?”
“Yep! I perfectly understand”
“Good, I’ll talk to you some other time, take care of yourself Skeppy”
“... you too”
“Bye”
And he hangs up.
Alright, this shouldn’t be a big deal. It shouldn’t, but it is. Why though? It’s not like he depends on Bad, he is very independent and does pretty much all the work for himself. Bad is just sometimes around. It would be the same amount of work if Bad still… And just before that call he was so sure he could go through all of this, the videos, the merch and the controversy, and he would have done it all pretty much alone. But now… everything seems so overwhelming, so much bigger than him. It’s so weird, his mind was just working a mile per hour thinking about solutions and plans and steps, but now he doesn’t even know what he was supposed to do next. There are too many problems around, and he can’t bring himself to recover the energy and creativity to solve them. This is a problem by itself, he needs a solution, and quick.
After a moment of thinking, he realizes something incredibly stupid. If he uses his imagination to picture a timeline where that call never happened then he is able to think clearly. It’s like a magic spell to clear every path in front of him, to make his job fun and exciting again. Because the moment he remembers reality those images of fun and success disappear. And again, what is the actual difference between one and the other? It’s not like any of his problems were closer to be solved before, it’s literally the same, why does it feel so different?
Bad is not that important. He is his best friend and he does love him. But his schedule, his plans, his video ideas, his saved recordings, his almost completely edited videos, the people working for him, neither of them are falling apart, it’s just Skeppy that is. This is so stupid. Maybe Bad was not doing any active work for him, but… just the thought that he had his support, that he could call him anytime he wanted, that he could asked him what he thought about his ideas, that he could talk to him about anything… that does make a difference, and it paints the world a brighter shade, and it makes the air thinner, and it makes him feel capable, stronger than anything, and nothing else makes him feel like that.
Screw everything else, Bad is priority. Wait, no, yes? Should he solve his problems and then talk to Bad or should he talk to Bad first? What is exactly what he wants? God, he knows nothing.
Umm… uhh… Puffy!
“Hi Skeppy!”
“H-Hi, umm, are you streaming?” This time he is nervous.
“Nope”
“Good, so, I called you to ask for your help”
“Is it because of the controversy?”
“No- well yes but no”
“Alright? What do you need? I’m all ears”
“You see, I’m having a kind of weird crisis, and I have no idea what to do”
“That’s ok, tell me what happened”
“Ok, I was just talking to Bad because I needed help to deal with the controversy but I forgot he was mad at me because of some things I said and he told me he needed a break from me, well, he didn’t say it like that but it felt like that”
“Do you want me to help you make things better with Bad?”
“Yes! but also… you know I’ve been very busy, right? Well, after the call with Bad I felt all weird, it’s like my brain stopped working, but I really need it right now! I have lots of things to do and I just stopped being able to do them”
“Skeppy… that’s sadness, you felt bad for having an argument with a very important friend, that’s completely normal”
“Wait, really? But… then, what am I supposed to do? how do I fix it? I really need to keep going”
“I think you need a break”
“What? no, that’s the last thing I can do. Isn’t there like a- temporary way?”
“Why are you so eager to keep yourself so busy?”
“It’s not about being busy, it’s just that I already promised everyone I would do all of these things”
“And why did you promise them in the first place?”
“I… I guess I wanted to keep myself busy… It’s just that, I hate having free time to just waste”
“Hmm, what do you usually do in your free time?”
“I just hang out in my room, maybe take a walk, mostly nothing, makes me feel all weird, like I’m wasting my whole life when it’s just some minutes”
“And what do you do to not feel like that?”
“I just… do stuff. I can’t be wasting my life when I’m going stuff all the time. Wait, no, that sounds weird, I said it weird, it’s just that I… Now that I think about it I don’t really know. Guess I don’t feel it when I’m busy because there’s not a lot of time to… feel, when your mind is working on other stuff all the time. Umm… but that sounds dumb”
“It 's not! My god Skeppy, I think I see the problem. You have a bad relationship with your own feelings, like, you don’t even recognize that they’re there, and to solve it you push them away with work”
“Is that… bad?”
“It 's terrible! Skeppy, you are harming yourself. Listed, it’s great that you are able to maintain and accomplish goals, you are capable of doing amazing things, I’m not denying that. But, at the end of the day you have to keep in mind that you are doing all of these things for yourself, and for your own happiness, got it?”
“Yeah…”
“I say that you should take the day off to just reflect and think, even if you think you’re going nowhere. And then you can decide if you want to keep going with all of this”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent”
“Ok”
“You are going to be alright, Skeppy, I promise. Call me anytime you want, alright?”
“Alright”
“Now go and enjoy your day off, and take care”
“Mm-hm”
“Byee”
And she hangs up.