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Into the Fire

Summary:

Each entry of this series is a tagalong of some sort to the episode of the same title and may contain spoilers for future episodes.

Susan ponders Lorien's words.

Notes:

Technically, this takes place at the beginning of the next episode, but thematically it fits this one better.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The Shadow War is over. We won.

To call what’s happening in the Zocalo right now a party, would be quite the understatement. I’m keeping to the sidelines, content to observe more so than partake.

John and Delenn are doing the same from their vantage point above the crowd. They’re happy. It’s a guarded kind of happiness, but it’s there. I observe them for a minute or so, before the pang in my heart and the guilt I feel for it make me turn my gaze away.

Stephen’s dancing with a woman I’ve never seen before and will likely never see again. It’s a kind of levity I’ve never really possessed. But even if that weren’t true, it would long be gone by now.

I spot Marcus, some fifty feet away, and consider ducking away before he sees me, but I’m too slow for that. Our eyes meet. He doesn’t actually do anything. He doesn’t come over, he doesn’t even make any kind of gesture. But I can see the hope in his eyes.

“Only those whose lives are brief can imagine that love is eternal. You should embrace that remarkable illusion. It may be the greatest gift your race has ever received.”

Lorien’s words keep echoing inside my head.

I smile at Marcus, a smile that I know isn’t reaching my eyes. We both know it for what it is – an apology.

Because I can’t.

And I don’t even know whether it’s because my illusions have long been shattered. Or because they haven’t.

Notes:

I'm not sure whether I'm being to subtle with that last line. Feedback is very much appreciated. (That's always true and it's always meant to include critical feedback.)

Also, I can't put into words how much I love that Lorien quote.