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The moment Naty finally catches up to Ludmila and stops running, she realises just how much she’s run, and steadies herself by crouching down and panting like no tomorrow. Slowly, she finds her lungs refurnished enough to formulate a simple sentence: “Ludmi, what the hell?!”
“I said, I wanted some peace and quiet, Nat,” Ludmila snarls at the edge of the bench, barely even looking back at her. Her arms are crossed, as well as her legs, and she sticks up her nose in annoyance. “Yeah, sure you do,” Naty groans, and finally stands up from her foetal position. “What was that about?”
“Can you please leave?” Ludmila narrows her eyes. “I’m asking nicely.”
“Oh, this is your nicely?”
“I swear to God, Natalia-”
“I just want to know if you’re ok!”
“I’m fine!” Ludmila shouts, exasperated. “I’m alive! Is that enough for you?!”
“No,” Naty says, and then realises there’s not much else to add, so she just stands there, waiting for her friend’s next move. Eventually, with a dramatically loud sigh, Ludmila gives in: “Well, if you have to stay here, just sit down and be quiet.” And Naty obeys, sitting down next to Ludmila, who obviously makes a spectacle of sliding as far from her as the length of the bench allows her to.
It’s not cold - it’s barely ever cold in Buenos Aires - but this spot in the park is a nice kind of warm. Not too aggressive, and a soft breeze is coming in and ruffling both girls’ hair. The bench is at the top of a small hill, but tall enough to make it tower over the other benches. Fitting that Ludmila would pick this one to sit on.
She’s wearing one of her signature shocking pink tops and a pair of jeans, glittered sneakers matching with a just-as-glittered bag and oversized sunglasses sitting atop her head. Her hair, long and impeccably blonde, whooshes in the wind, never for a second looking ungraceful. She’s not looking her way at the moment, but Naty doesn't need to see her eyes, for they're printed in her memory: brown, big and so, so mean.
Naty knows she must be a mess right now - not only has she desperately run behind her friend for what felt like hours, but she also pales in comparison to Ludmila’s 24/7 fashionista style. Many times she wonders why Ludmila took her in, looking, acting, well, existing the way she does. Did she just need a poor puppy to kick around? A sad little hunchback to do all her dirty work? Was that all Naty was to her? These are the thoughts that depress Naty the most, so she tries not to linger on them too much. But they’re always there, whispering in her ears like a little devil on her shoulder.
“They’re all jerks.” Ludmila grabs back Naty’s attention, and now she’s hugging her knees and her tone is very small. Her stare still won’t meet Naty, as she’s turned the whole other way. “Who-” Naty starts asking, but then she puts the pieces together: the moment she saw Ludmila before she fled the scene, she was being cornered by a few older guys from the Studio. Then she just started running as the boys laughed. And Naty called out for her, Ludmi?!, and immediately followed her trail without giving it a second thought. Now she wants to ask what they were saying, but she knows Ludmila won’t repeat their words. And maybe Naty doesn’t want to hear them, either.
Still, it doesn’t hurt to offer some comfort even without knowing the whole story. “What happened?”
Ludmila finally turns to her, her eyes narrowed, seemingly bothered by the question. “I said be quiet, Natalia.”
“I…” Naty sighs and rolls her eyes. “I don’t wanna leave you here alone.”
“What? Afraid I’ll run away?”
Naty doesn’t answer, though what she thinks is sometimes I wonder why and if we’re even friends at all. I wonder if you’re real and if you’re a time bomb and if you can’t wait to ditch me for someone better than me. Smarter than me. Prettier than me.
Ludmila reads something in her eyes that amuses her. “I won’t. Stop looking at me like that.”
“Sorry.”
And they’re quiet again, the rustling of the leaves the only sound in miles. Naty keeps stealing furtive glances at Ludmila, and then, afraid of being caught, she turns away, redder every time. And when the silence is just too much for her, finally, she squeals: “This school is tough.”
Unbeknownst to her, Ludmila raises an eyebrow. Naty continues: “I know it’s only our first year, but it’s terrifying. I have no idea how I’ll get through it. I’m not confident enough.” She keeps her eyes on her shoes, finally airing out her concerns. It’s only been a few months, but Studio 21 has been eating her alive so far. Yes, the teachers were nice - except for the dancer, Gregorio, whose little tennis ball almost perforated her skull more than once - and she had made friends - one friend, and her soon-to-be boyfriend, and his other friend by proxy - but then at the end of the day, she still felt so incredibly inferior to everyone else. The people in her class were so talented, as if they had already gone to this school, graduated, and then went to class again, exclusively to taunt her. Between dancing, singing, and playing various instruments, all things that she individually loved but were quickly becoming exhausting when put together, the pressure was getting unbearable, fast.
And to add insult to injury, her supposed friend, Ludmila, was the most talented of them all. Not only because she insistingly kept reminding everyone around her, but because she was. Plus, she had all the confidence in the world and then some, which is essential when you want to become a star - and by God, was she obsessed with stars. Naty loved the time they spent together, from the moment Ludmila fished her out of the school corridors on tryouts day, to their mostly innocuous pranks on their classmates, even to moments like this. Today’s the first day that Naty’s seeing Ludmila so quiet, so to herself, so…frail. And she wants to help her, to protect her, at the very least to get her to open up. There was a whole world behind that ‘supernova’ persona she built, and Naty wanted to tear down her walls and discover all about her. But that was nearly impossible. Perfect Ludmila built perfect walls, unbreakable for a reason.
“But you - Naty finally continues her speech - are talented, and amazing, and confident and cool and…that’s all you need. You’re the best, Ludmi.” And the moment she says it, she knows what Ludmila will answer: I already know or stop saying the obvious or something along those lines. Instead, Ludmila shrinks further into herself: “Shut up.”
Utterly confused, Naty waits. One, two, three seconds. But that’s all Ludmila says. Shut up.
“I’m sorry?”
“I said, shut up, Natalia, and stop making fun of me.”
“I am-” Naty laughs, speechless, which sends Ludmila on edge as her shoulders tense. “I am not-”
“Yes, you are!” Ludmila lets go of her knees and faces Naty again. “You’re just like every single one of them. You’re just hanging out with me because- because you think I’m crazy, and you think it’s funny to see me try so hard, and you can’t wait to see me fail. Like everyone else. You’re just like them.” Then she notices how shaky her voice has gotten and she quickly turns once more. “But I don’t care. I don’t give a shit. Just do me a favour, and leave me alone.”
Naty has no idea how to answer, and just helplessly stares at her friend trying to cover up her emotional outburst. She runs every possible response in her head, are you serious? Why would you think that? I’m your friend. I would never, but that wouldn't work. Nothing could work, when Ludmila’s so convinced. And one thing about her is that she’s one hell of a stubborn girl.
But stubborn girls gravitate towards each other, and if Ludmila thought for one second that Naty wasn’t just as stubborn as she was, then she wasn’t as good as an observer as she claimed to be. “Well. I’m not leaving, so.”
“Do I have to push you off the bench? I will.”
“I’d like to see you try.” Naty gives a pointed look to her skinny arms. “Do you really enjoy taunting me this much?”
“If that’s what you’re so sure of, then yeah.”
“God! You’re-” Ludmila stomps her feet on the grass. “I hate you!”
“Apparently, the feeling is mutual.” Naty shrugs, a hint of a smile dancing on her lips.
“What do you want so you can go away? I’ll do anything.”
“I won’t leave for all the riches in the world, Ludmila. I’m never leaving your side.” Naty winks. Something in Ludmila’s stomach flutters and now she’s horrified at her own reaction. “Do you hate me this much?”
“Sure.” Naty purses her lips. Ludmila’s just about done. “What are you doing?!”
“I’m trying to make you realise how ridiculous you sound, idiot.”
“Don’t call me an idiot-”
“Then stop being one!” Naty suppresses a giggle, “I’m hanging out with you because I- hate you? That makes no sense!”
“I-” Ludmila starts, then frowns. “I don’t know about your…convoluted plans, Natalia.”
“Maybe my ‘convoluted plan’ is that I’m your friend? Easy as that?” Naty mocks her, “You know, friendship? Ever heard of it?”
“You’re so funny.” Ludmila crosses her arms. “Don’t think so highly of yourself. I’ve had friendships before you. Way better friendships, I’ll have you know.”
“I dread to think how they ended, then. Have you always thought people secretly hated you? Like, seriously, where'd you learn to think like that?”
If until now Ludmila playfully found retorts to Naty’s light-hearted accusations, now she suddenly stays frozen in place, quiet, chest constricted like she's afraid of breathing wrong. Naty notices it and realises she’s hit something she shouldn’t have. “I’m…sorry-”
“No.” Ludmila clutches her bag. “No, you don’t have to apologise. Now I know how you really feel.”
Naty’s eyebrows rise. She clears her throat, slightly tilting her chin. “You wanna know how I really feel?”
Ludmila's confused. “I think it’s pretty clear now-”
“I feel like you’re the first friend I’ve had in a while. The only friend, maybe.” Her cheeks start to flush, but she continues: “I’ve always been very shy, but being with you…makes me confident, you know? That’s the effect you have on people. You give them strength.”
“So you…don’t think I’m annoying?”
“Oh no, you’re really fucking annoying.” Naty grins, and her tone is so sweet that she could’ve just said I love you. Ludmila’s stomach twists again. “But that’s just one thing about you. As I said, you’re cool and you don’t take shit from anyone. And I have no reason to lie to you, trust me.” Looking up, she admits: “Sure, you’re mean and unnecessarily cruel at times and you don’t work well with people, but you do work hard. And you’re super-mega-talented. You outshine everyone in the Studio.”
“That’s true, no one’s at my level,” Ludmila says matter-of-factly. “Anything else you wanna add?”
“Well…I don’t think-” But Ludmila’s still sulking and Naty takes this as an invitation. She gets just the slightest bit closer to her on the bench. “You’re…clearly the best, and everyone is just jealous of your talent. That’s why they might say those awful things. But you’re stronger, and better than them combined.”
“And?”
“And - another cautious slide closer - I know we just started our first year, but you’ll absolutely get every lead role from now on.”
“Obviously. And?”
Just a little closer, “And you’re the most stylish girl in the whole Studio, and undoubtedly the best dressed. They all wish they had your clothes and your style.”
“Yes.” Ludmila turns, and now that they’re facing each other Naty realises just how actually close they are. But Ludmila’s not shooing her away, and she can’t back out now. Their brown eyes are locked on each other. “And?” Ludmila whispers, like she’s revealing a secret.
“You’re…” Naty breathes, “You’re really pretty. The prettiest girl I know.” Her face is so red she can barely speak, but she goes on, “Any guy would be lucky to have you, to kiss you, to-”
“Any guy?”
Naty short-circuits. Ludmila’s right there, in front of her, looking at her like she’s the only thing in the world. She gulps, searching desperately for more words inside of her, but she’s left with nothing. Ludmila won’t budge. Slowly, Naty nods: “Well…yes, of course-”
“Even Léon?”
At that sudden change of mood, Naty furrows her brows: “Léon?”
“Well, yes! He’s so popular, and every girl - and guy - is fawning over him. I have to have him, Nat,” Ludmila grins, her full set of teeth showing. It’s just slightly terrifying, but Naty can’t help but join in on the smile. “He’s already yours. He can’t deny how hot and better than everyone else you are,” she shrugs. Ludmila nods - mostly to herself, “Exactly. Well then, let’s go, no time to lose!” She claps her hands and stands up, then, when she sees Naty’s still on the bench: “I said let’s go!” Naty looks up at her, the sun momentarily blinding her so she needs to shield herself with the back of her own hand: “Both of us?”
“Yes, both of us.” Ludmila crosses her arms again, and adds shyly: “Didn’t you say you’d never leave my side?” Naty blushes. “Y-yeah! Yes, of course.” Then she’s quickly on her feet and they’re walking down the hill.
“And, Nat,” Ludmila links their arms together, “you’re talented too. You got in just as we all did, so. It’s factual. You’re good.” Her tone is quiet and she’s not even looking at her, but she’s being honest for once.
And Naty just gapes. Ludmila is complimenting her? Is this all a dream? Did she hit her head while running? “T-thank you, Ludmi…I’m-”
“Shh. Don’t ruin this,” Ludmila briskly cuts her off, but holds her arm even closer. “Also, did you come up with that little speech on the spot?”
“Yeah…why?”
“I don’t know, it was a lot. Like you were proposing or something.”
As they run backstage, Violetta gets smothered with hugs.
“So you didn’t leave in the end!”
“You’re really here!”
“The show wouldn’t have been the same without you!”
And all the clamouring and hugging is something Ludmila knows to avoid at all costs. The moment the show is over, she takes one last look back and walks to the dressing rooms, ready to change and go home.
“Ludmila, wait!” Someone calls to her as she’s putting on her shirt. And she doesn’t even need to turn to recognise her. “What do you want, Nat?”
“Are you really leaving already? We’re thinking of going to the Resto to celebrate.”
“Have fun.”
“Why are you going away so soon? Is your mom waiting for you? I didn’t see her.”
“She didn’t come.” Thank you for rubbing that in.
“Just…” Naty lingers at the door and takes a deep breath, “You…thank you. For apologising earlier.”
“Hm? Sure,” she answers distractedly. Naty continues. “Look, you didn’t have to, but you still did, and I think that’s really cool of you, and also shows you’ve grown-”
“Didn’t have to?” Ludmila turns around suddenly, still fixing the buttons of her shirt, “Nat, if I didn’t, they’d never have let me go on stage. It was absolutely necessary.”
Naty’s earnest smile falls as her heart skips a beat. “What?”
“You see how Violetta forgave me so quickly? That was my ticket to-”
“So what you said wasn’t true?!” Naty raises her voice, not quite shouting, but still heartbroken, and most importantly, pissed. “You- you almost ruined her life! Do you realise that?!”
“I just showed her what she needed to see,” Ludmila thinks back to when she lured Violetta into watching Angie’s confession tape. She can't find any hints of guilt inside of her. “If a relative of mine was hiding in plain sight the whole time, I’d want to know.”
“Oh, come on. We both know that wasn’t your intention,” Naty scoffs, utterly tired of her friend’s antics. “So you’re not sorry? At all?”
“She’ll get over it. She did get over it. Plus, she’s here now, isn’t she?”
“Ludmila. You broke my leg.” Naty has to change the topic, and puts her hands on her hips. “I almost didn’t perform tonight because of you!” In the back of her head, a voice shouts, did that hug mean nothing to you? And even louder, do I mean nothing to you?
Ludmila fiddles with her hands. “Well. I guess I am sorry about that. But it was-”
“Oh, don’t you dare say it was an accident. I saw that footage.”
“Fine! I’m sorry, I really am. I was just…” Jealous? Ludmila bites her lip, as that seems to be the only word to come to mind at the moment. No. Ludmila? Jealous of someone? Please. Maxi simply isn’t on Naty’s level. It’s not like she wants her all to herself. Well, maybe, but- not in that way! And what would she do with her, anyway? Treat her better than Maxi ever could, that’s for sure. She could be a better boyfriend than him, without even breaking a sweat. But that didn’t matter. Did it?
“Ludmila!” Naty snaps her fingers in front of her, waking her up from her thoughts. “You were just what?”
“I was angry! Tomás left me and I…couldn’t stand you getting your happy ending, when I couldn’t get mine.”
“Seriously?” Naty shakes her head. Ludmila looks down. “Yeah. I’m sorry. You…deserve to be with...whoever you want," she shudders.
“And?”
“And what?” Ludmila rolls her eyes, but Naty won’t budge, staring at her impatiently. “Ugh! I guess…you deserve your moment on stage, too.”
“Yes. And?”
The blonde genuinely searches in her head for what to add to her apologies but nothing comes to mind. “I’m going to try to…treat you better?”
Naty raises her eyebrows, knowing she’s made that same promise a hundred times before. “Sure. And?”
“Are you serious-”
“And, Ludmila?”
“You were very good on stage today!” Ludmila groans, exasperated. “The best, ok?”
Despite herself, Naty breaks and falls into one of her characteristic giggles. Ludmila feels herself going gradually redder and once more she has no idea why she’s reacting the way she is. At least, she’s able to shut down the corners of her mouth that were threatening to curve upward. “You really think so?” Naty beams, and Ludmila wonders why she’s been so easily forgiven time and time again. A fleeting thought, a shooting star in her brain, I don’t deserve her. “Yeah. Have you seen everyone else? A mess. Thank God I came back in the end-”
Ludmila’s words die in her throat as Naty suddenly leaps at her, engulfing her in a big bear hug. “Nat!” she squeals, but Naty hugs her tighter, “Shut up and let me have this.”
Ludmila sighs, and reluctantly puts her arms around Naty, too. “Fine.”
The rest of the girls walk by the room and find them all wrapped up in each other, and silently agree to come back later. But Camila does secretly take a picture.
The moment they walk out of the Studio, the first few drops of rain start to fall. “As if today couldn’t get any worse!” Ludmila groans, and quickens her pace. Naty trots behind her, “Ludmi, wait, I have an umbrella!”
“I don’t care about your shitty umbrella!”
“Well, at least you won’t get wet…” Naty starts rummaging through her bag, and finally finds her very small umbrella. It barely covers herself fully, but she’ll make a sacrifice for Ludmila - that seems to be her purpose in life anyway.
The rain quickly gets worse, but Ludmila still won’t accept the gesture. “Get lost, Natalia!”
“Don’t be a jerk and just come back here!”
“I can’t hear you over the rain! It’s too strong!” Ludmila starts walking even faster. “That’s exactly my point! You’ll get hurt!”
“Don’t you have anything better in your life to do than bothering me?!”
“I just want to help!”
“Then don’t help me!” Ludmila turns around to shout at her, and precisely at that moment, she slips on the grass and falls face-flat into the muddy ground. Naty watches the scene, shocked at first, then gradually breaks into loud laughter. Ludmila tries to stand up only to fall back down, and Naty’s suffocating now.
“Do you think this is funny?!” Ludmila shrieks, obligated to spit out a mouthful of dirt. “Oh, yeah,” Naty catches her breath for one second before laughing again. Slowly, way too slowly for Ludmila’s liking, she walks over to where she’s fallen. “You know what this reminds me of? Those cute little piglets that roll over in the dirt.”
“Oh, fuck you.” Ludmila looks up at her. And Naty just looks down, amused and safely protected by her umbrella. “Well?” Ludmila mumbles, “Are you just gonna stare at me forever?”
“I thought you said you didn’t want me to help you.”
“Natalia Vidal,” Ludmila croaks, menacingly. “Ludmila Ferro,” Naty imitates her without even thinking.
“Oh my God, fine! I need your help! Please help me up, ok?!”
“What was that? I can’t hear you over the rain.”
“You’re having too much fun with this.”
“Maybe.” Naty winks, and stretches her arm out for Ludmila to grab onto. Once she’s up, she makes the first step - and realises the heel of her shoe is still lost in the mud somewhere. “Damn it, I had just bought these.”
“Can you walk?”
“My heels are broken.”
“Well, you’re standing alright, aren’t you? So your legs are ok.”
“Yeah, but I’m not walking home barefoot!”
“Fine,” Naty says, and without breaking a sweat, she picks Ludmila up and starts carrying her bridal style. “Hold the umbrella, won’t you?” Ludmila, caught unprepared, just complies. And even when she tries protesting, she turns to Naty and sees her, up close, the drops of rain caught in her untamed curls and her steady breath and most importantly her arm muscles. She slaps herself mentally and stays quiet.
“What’s gotten into you today, that made you so pissy, anyway?” Naty starts when they haven’t been talking for too long. Ludmila huffs. “I’m not pissy. I…I just don’t wanna work with Camila, that’s all.”
“It’s nothing we haven’t done before! Plus, you have me, and you know I’ll follow you-”
“Do you think Pablo has a vendetta against me?” Ludmila interrupts her. Naty sighs, “Well, I think, given the events of last year, he might not be your biggest fan.”
“Everyone’s so mean to me,” Ludmila whimpers dramatically, snuggling closer to Naty’s chest. Naty tries to pretend her heart doesn’t start beating ten times faster. “And you’re mean to everyone, so, even.”
“Well, not to you, right?”
“Uh, wrong?! Especially to me!” Naty gawks, incredulous. “Yeah, but you like it! Why else are you still here, otherwise?”
“I…that’s a good question.”
“I wish it was just the two of us,” Ludmila changes the topic, without really giving Naty a chance to think over what she just said. “We work so much better as a duo.”
“I could say the same thing about Diego,” Naty retorts, and Ludmila looks at her, eyes widening. “What?”
Naty flushes, feeling like she might’ve let out more than she should have. “I-I mean. It’s just unfair that you’re working with him when- when I’m right here.”
“Oh, wow!” Ludmila laughs and kicks her feet up, almost making Naty lose balance. “I knew you were jealous, but this is- wow.”
“Ludmila, stop it!” Naty says urgently, caught on the spot. “I’m right! It’s always been us! Why him now?”
“Well, can you seduce Violetta and make her fall in love with you just to break her heart?”
“I…maybe if I…” Ludmila snorts and laughs again, louder. “Don’t laugh- I swear I’m gonna drop you!”
“I’m sorry! It’s funny to see you so worked up!”
Ludmila eventually calms down and Naty breathes out, embarrassed. “I'm not worked up. I just…I’m better than him.”
“Oh, really?”
“I spend all of my time with you.”
“And?”
“I’m prepared to do anything for you, and you know it.”
“Wow, desperate much?” Naty pretends to drop her and Ludmila clings to her tightly. “Ok, ok, and?”
“I’m literally carrying you right now! I don’t think Diego would do this for you.”
“True. And?”
“Isn’t that enough? I’m with you, always, Ludmi.”
Ludmila looks at her. Truly. Without really thinking, she puts one hand on Naty’s cheek. Naty stops in her tracks. “Ay, Nat. Look at you.” Ludmila’s voice is quiet, just for Naty to hear. “You really like me, don’t you?”
Naty’s breath gets stuck in her throat and she clears it out, speechless. Eventually, she responds. “Of course I like you. You’re…my best friend, aren’t you?”
“Huh.” Ludmila seems utterly unsatisfied by the answer, but she just shrugs and looks nowhere in particular. “I guess so.”
Before she knows it, Naty’s putting her down again. Ludmila analyses their surroundings and then sends Naty a confused glance. “I’m sorry, I thought you’d be bringing me home-”
“Like that?” Naty points at her clothes, covered in mud and dirt. “Your mother’s gonna eat you alive. So I brought you to my place to take a shower. I probably have some leftover clothes of yours somewhere in my closet, too.” She starts fiddling with her keys, trying to find the right one for her door. “If not, you might have to borrow something of mine. I know, the horror.”
Ludmila’s brows furrow ever-so-slightly at the completely disinterested act of kindness. Naty wouldn’t be gaining anything from helping her now, not when they were pretty much in the middle of a huge on and off Diego-related fight. If she sent her home Priscila would probably ground her, and wouldn’t Naty benefit from some time off her tyrannic friend? Apparently not. Apparently, Naty had already thought of this, without Ludmila saying anything.
“So, are you gonna get in or-” Naty starts, but is cut off by something unexpected: Ludmila bending down and quickly pecking her on the cheek. After that, Naty is, once again, frozen in place. Ludmila, too, by proxy, freezes, her cheeks flaring. They’re both probably thinking the same thing, their thoughts so loud they can hear each other: what the fuck was that? And Ludmila panics, because Naty's eyes widen so much, she thinks she might've heard her think, I wouldn't do that to Diego, either.
“I-” Ludmila coughs out, “I call dibs on the shower!” And then zooms into Naty’s house faster than Naty can really acknowledge it. In fact, she stays there for a while longer, taking a lot more rain than necessary.
Needless to say, she develops a sore throat over the next few days, but that’s the last thing on her mind.
“Natalia.”
“What? I’m a little busy-”
“Natalia.”
“Oy, you’re scaring me, what’s…oh,” Naty murmurs as she walks out of the bathroom.
“What,” Ludmila points at her neck, “did you do?!”
“Well.” Naty puts one hand over her mouth pensively, “That looks like…a hick-”
“Yes, it’s a fucking hickey, asshole! I have eyes!” Ludmila stares at herself in the mirror. She has managed to clumsily put her pyjamas back on, but her hair is still a mess from having just woken up - and from everything that happened last night. The only thing she’s paying attention to, anyway, is the purplish-red spot on her neck. “I thought you’d be more careful!”
“Well,” Naty’s voice gets cocky, “you didn’t tell me to be careful yesterday-” One glare from Ludmila, and she shuts herself up on her own. “Ok, calm down. Just,” Naty reaches for her hair and starts combing it with the brush she still had in her hand, “put your hair on one side. See? It’s barely noticeable.”
“I put my hair on one side yesterday. If people see me with the same hairstyle two days in a row, they’ll get suspicious,” Ludmila says it as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Naty stares at her with her mouth open. “Ludmila.”
“What? I pay attention to this kind of stuff!”
“I assure you, no one else does!”
Ludmila crosses her arms, then crosses them again, nervously. “This was a mistake.”
“Don’t say that. I know you don’t mean that.” Naty stops her by grabbing her hands. “You’re just anxious, but no one will find out, ok? Not until we want to tell them.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, even if they do find out…they’ll be supportive, I know it.” Naty thinks about that weird pep talk Camila gave her a while ago about just going for it while keeping her eyes glued to Ludmila. At the time, she didn’t get it, but she does now. And the fact that Camila fought to move in with Fran and Vilu so that the two of them could share a hotel room alone? Everyone already thought they were dating, anyway, but Ludmila didn’t need to know that part. “Hey, what are you thinking about?”
“It’s just…I don’t know.” Ludmila tightens her grip on Naty’s hands. “I’m scared. And I really like you.”
Naty can’t help the little smile that forms on her lips. “Remember what we said yesterday?”
“We’ll go through this together?”
“And?”
“You’ll be with me every step of the way?”
“Yes, and?”
Ludmila’s cheeks turn pink, her voice merely a whisper, “You’ve been waiting to do that for a long time?”
“W-” Naty turns reddish too. “Yes. That too. But most importantly: you don’t need to worry, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I really like you too. And if anyone is an asshole to us, I’ll punch them in the face.”
“Are you going to punch my mother in the face, then?” Ludmila raises her eyebrows. “Gladly,” Naty answers without giving it a second thought, and it makes Ludmila cackle. Naty could live forever in that moment, Ludmila happy and holding her hands. Holding her, like it’s just the two of them, against the whole world. Naty would do anything to stay like this, for the rest of her life.
But someone knocks on their door loudly. “You two! Stop making out and come downstairs! We have to go rehearse for tonight!” And of course, it’s Camila.
“Shit. I’m not even dressed yet.” Ludmila barely even reacts to her sneaky comment. “Get ready, I’ll buy you some time,” Naty says, and quickly kisses her lips. Ludmila acts shocked for a second, then returns the gesture. “There, we’re even.”
“Oh, were you counting yesterday?”
“Maybe,” Ludmila shrugs with a smirk. “I just couldn’t believe it. It still feels like a dream.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Naty goes to grab her bag. “I’ll see you-”
“Wait,” Ludmila grabs her by one arm and brings her to herself again. “What if…I really wanna kiss you today?”
Naty giggles, embarrassed. “Um…I can say…that you have a zit near your lips…and I need to see it closer?”
“Are you saying I get zits?” Ludmila narrows her eyes playfully. “I-”
“GUYS!” Another louder knock on the door startles them. “Ugh,” Naty disentangles herself from Ludmila’s grip. “Put something on. And don’t take three hours like you usually do.”
“Perfect takes a while, you know?” Ludmila runs to the bathroom and slams the door behind her. Naty lingers for a second. “You’re already perfect- oh my God, Natalia, that’s so cheesy,” she reprimands herself as she joins the others downstairs.
“Nat, where are you-”
“Ok, you can open your eyes now.” Ludmila does as she’s told, and finds herself on a very familiar bench on a hill. She feels she’s been here before, a long, long time ago, when she was still an annoyingly idiotic teenager, caring about nothing but herself and her career. But it’s not just the bench that catches her attention: there are candles, and flowers, and most importantly, from here, she can perfectly see the constellation of Cassiopeia, one of her favourites. She grins. “What is this?”
“You like it?” Naty smiles, proud of herself. “I love it,” Ludmila answers, softly, grabbing Naty by one hand and bringing her closer, stealing a quick kiss. “Thank you. But what’s all of this for? Ay, did I forget an anniversary or something-”
“No, no, I just…I’ve always liked this place, and since we’re stopping in Buenos Aires for a couple of days I thought we could come back here. It’s romantic, isn’t it?” Naty walks Ludmila to the bench where they both sit, as close as humanly possible.
“I think you made it romantic. All of these candles and flowers and- how did you know about Cassiopeia?” Ludmila points to the sky. Naty smugly replies, “A lot of research and, well, Google.”
“God, I love you so much.” Ludmila puts her head on Naty’s shoulder. They stay like that for a bit, just listening to each other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s presence, until Naty says: “Do you miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“This. I mean, Buenos Aires. But performing, too, I guess. The Studio. The life you had, we had, here.”
“God, no. I was miserable back then. I didn’t know what was best for me. And I treated everyone like garbage...I still feel awful for that.”
“I know.” Naty thinks of all the nights Ludmila woke her up, crying and crazed, begging to be forgiven for something she couldn’t even explain. Naty always calmed her down and heard her out, lulling her back to sleep, no matter how long it took. “But that’s all over.”
“And Madrid is wonderful.” Ludmila snuggles even closer to her girlfriend. “Taking astronomy classes, learning to take one thing at a time...I feel like I’m living a dream. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted…you are everything I’ve ever wanted. So, uh, thank you for being in my life.”
“Thank you for being in my life! I would’ve never gotten that 'songwriter of the year' award if it weren’t for my muse,” Naty giggles. She looks up, the stars shining bright in the dark sky, almost giving her a signal to act out her plan. “Hey, Ludmi, remember the first time we came out here? You were upset about something the kids at the Studio told you, and ran all the way to this place.”
“Ahh, I could never do that now. I’m not as agile as I once was…”
“You’re thirty.”
“Still.”
“Anyways, I followed you here and you were trying to get rid of me. Remember what I told you?”
“Yeah, of course, I do. You called me an idiot.”
“Not that-” Naty groans, but Ludmila chuckles, “I know, I’m kidding! You said you’d never leave my side. I didn’t know you were serious back then.”
Naty’s heart breaks just a little at that, but she continues: “Of course I was. And I still am. I love you now just as much as I did then. I remember when I first met you, my mission was to find out all about you, to know why your walls were so high, why you wouldn’t open up to me…and now that you did, I know everything there is to know. I feel like my life started the day I met you. We’ve been through it all together, and I’m ready to go through the rest of it with you.”
“Jeez, Nat, and? You wanna add something else? This is seriously starting to sound like a pro-” Ludmila raises her head to look at Naty.
And sees the ring box in Naty’s hands, and nearly faints.
There are no more questions after that, just a very easy answer.