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“Eureka! I've done it!” Rulue exclaimed, as she stood triumphantly in front of a dingy rat cage in a dark laboratory. In her hand, she held up a vial filled with a glowing violet liquid, and the cage below contained two rats that were running around and squeaking loudly. One rat was alternating between clawing at the other rat and then getting as far away as it possibly could. The second rat was relentlessly chasing after the first rat, despite all the scratches it was receiving in the process.
Two minutes ago, the rats had been sitting idly in the cage, one chewing on some seeds. The current situation was the direct result of Rulue's adding two drops to the rats' seed pile.
Rulue threw off her lab coat and goggles with a flourish, revealing the blue and white garb she normally wore, and climbed up the laboratory stairs to the main floor of her manor. She held the vial carefully in her hands and grinned as thoughts began to race through her head about how she could use this ingenious love potion to win the heart of her Satan-sama.
“Maybe I could invite him over for tea... and then slip some of this inside... hee hee... Or bake a cake and put some of this potion into the cake mix! Ohohoho! The possibilities are endless!”
After considering some of them, Rulue decided on iced tea. It was summer, after all, and a bit too hot for tea. Rulue rushed out of her mansion and walked into town, where she eventually found Satan wandering around. “Satan-sama!” Rulue called out. “Wouldn't you like to come over later today for some tea?” She used her sweetest and most alluring voice.
“Not today. I'm busy,” Satan replied distractedly. He was peering behind trees, under rocks, and inside barrels of water, apparently searching for something.
“Or someone,” Rulue thought crossly, Arle coming to mind. She tried again: “Please, Satan-sama... It would mean so much to me. And it's just a light snack. Surely you have time for that.”
Satan didn't answer or appear to hear her at all, continuing to look in the most and least likely places someone would hide.
Rulue sighed. It looked like she was going to have to use her trick, although the chances of it working were slim. “I invited Arle and Carbuncle as well. We can all have—”
“Why didn't you say so earlier?? Your house? Four?”
“Um... s-sure... yes, four.” Rulue was a little surprised that Satan could be so gullible, but mostly just happy. Very happy. She smiled widely as Satan waved goodbye, and when he was out of sight, Rulue threw her arms in the air and yelled, “I did it!” Soon... Soon Satan-sama would be hers and she would no longer have to suffer the pangs of unrequited love.
Once she got home, Rulue prepared for the tea party. She baked a cheesecake and bought some iced tea. At about half past three o'clock, she set the table for four. It was only going to be the two of them, of course, but it would be a good idea to keep up the appearance of a group tea party long enough for Satan to sit down, have a bite of cake and a sip of tea...
Humming, Rulue filled a pitcher with the iced tea and added the love potion to it. As she set it down on a small side table in the parlor, she imagined the scene in her mind... Satan sits down at the table. She tells him he's early—Arle and Carbuncle haven't arrived yet. She pours him a glass of tea, cuts a slice of cake, and sits across from him, waiting for the magic to happen. He talks animatedly, but she's not listening to the words. He takes a sip from his glass and sets it down, and then cuts off a piece of his cheesecake before finally looking up, and then... The fork drops and he stares, wide-eyed and blushing, as if looking at Rulue for the first time...
CREAK SLAM
The door opened and then closed, snapping Rulue out of her reverie. It couldn't have been her Satan-sama because he would most likely have knocked. The heavy steps coming toward the parlor signaled to Rulue it was Minotauros, even before he entered the room.
“Hello, Minotauros,” Rulue said pleasantly.
“G'day, Rulue-sama.”
From his flushed face, how much he was sweating, and the dirt lining his shoes (some of which was being left on the floor, Rulue noticed with disapproval), she guessed that he had been working outside in the garden. Rulue indicated a seat and Minotauros sank heavily into it.
He espied the pitcher of iced tea on the side table, and before Rulue even vaguely realized the danger, had picked it up and downed it in one gulp as if it were a small glass.
“No, wait, Minotauros—!” Rulue yelled, as she stood up suddenly, rattling the silverware, but her voice fell away sharply into a stunned silence.
Quiet filled the room, as Rulue stood shocked and motionless and Minotauros looked down apologetically at the iced tea that he wasn't supposed to drink.
“Sorry... I—”
“AAAHHHH!” Rulue wailed.
Her mind was rapidly processing the situation. It wasn't a big loss, Rulue decided, trying to calm herself. She would have to get more iced tea, but at least she still had plenty of love potion left. She could just make another batch of iced tea. But still...
Rulue eyed Minotauros warily, afraid that at any moment he would do something immensely mortifying, like kneel and propose, or recite poetry to her, or... or what she had imagined Satan-sama doing.
She stood there for a while, her face filled with dread, but the seconds ticked by and Minotauros only apologized repeatedly and... well, seemed more preoccupied with the tea than anything.
Finally, Rulue coughed and straightened her face to a less apprehensive expression. She ventured, “Um... Minotauros... Could you go and buy some more iced tea?”
“Yes, I'd be happy to, Rulue-sama! I'm sorry for—”
“It's okay,” Rulue said, handing him some money—and then hastily pulling her hand away as Minotauros closed his calloused hand around—around her money. Oh.
Rulue blinked. What was wrong? She watched as Minotauros left without another word or glance behind. He seemed to be acting exactly the same as he always did. Rulue looked down at the vial of love potion in her hand as if it could give her the answer to her question.
Then the realization hit her like a bucket of cold water.
She had only tested it on rats! “Ugh! Maybe it just doesn't work on anything else...” she thought, feeling the disappointment flood in.
Rulue sighed and lay her head down on the table despondently. So her brilliant plan hadn't worked after all... Back to the old drawing board. She canceled the tea party with Satan—told him Arle and Carbuncle couldn't make it and that was all that was needed, really—and then retired to her room.
She sat on her bed, sipping the iced tea Minotauros had gotten, and began to think of more plots to win Satan-sama's heart.