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i.
“toya!”, his father calls. four-year-old toya knows what he wants, not to eat, not something he needs, no.
it was time for toya to practice piano.
a kid like toya only could follow, no power to do much. if he did, he would only get labeled as a whiney one, a disobedient kid. the small toya wish it didn’t have to be this way, but he opened the door anyway.
ii.
“wrong. one more.”, a stern, almost angry voice said. the only six-year-old toya trembled in his seat, the tone of who he despisingly calls “father” grows scarier, more terrifying.
“...yes, father.”, a shaking voice replied. a glance from the doorway of the room would leave you with the impression of a father-son bonding time, but my, is it the complete opposite.
look closer, see what’s wrong, see that this isn’t helping toya at all. it's breaking him, tearing him apart because he was pulled to a corner with no chance to escape, the only way out... is ending it where you’re stuck at. in true nature, what could a first grader do?
iii.
“look what i got from the sports festival! isn’t it so cool?”, a classmate exclaimed. “woah! so lucky! look what i goooot!! hehe”, another showed off.
but all eight-year-old toya could do was watch, wonder why he didn’t participate in festivities like that. something in him had an idea why, but he kept going back to what an old teacher said.
“c’mon! your parents want to see you be active!”, a kid like him could only be so confused. why isn’t his family like others...?
iv.
“great. good job,”, ten-year-old toya was glad it was finally over, today’s practice is over, and they could finally rest over a nice meal.
or so he thought.
“let's move on to another piece.”, toya’s father said, taking another stack of sheet music, and placing it down.
‘i’m really hungry... and my fingers are so painful..! can we go eat first?’ toya wanted to ask, beg if he had to, but he restrained himself. starting the piece right there, just to get it over with.
it was suffocating, it hurt to even exist, you beg for it to stop— or even just a break from it. you can only beg internally, fearing the things they would say if you voiced it out, comply, comply, comply. you tell yourself you aren’t pushing to your limit, but it's so hard to when all you do is never rest.
and you pray for their approval, their praise. ‘please don’t think badly of me’, when you are almost certain they do. so you find ways to get on the good side, find a safe spot to hide, away from the bad parts. children do not wish for love exchanged for being “good”, they will thirst for unconditional love. ‘i’m a good kid... right?’
“stop crying, toya. focus on the piece.”, i hate when you say that, father.
v.
(this guy... he has a history with music, that’s obvious. his singing is exceptional...), ginger named akito thought.
(i gotta practice a shit ton, i can’t have my partner shine more than i do.), akito thought once again.
yes, toya currently has this love-hate relationship with music, but could a shinonome akito turn that into love, fully?
vi.
“let’s go to a few more places, we can go home after”, akito told toya.
they are now fourteen. toya decided to run away from classical music not too long ago, his father was furious, questioning why his “son” suddenly decided to partake in “child’s play”, they both fought that night, his father confronting him about it.
teenage rebellion phase, toya’s father thinks. but toya knows this is way better than classical, way better than what he was forced to do.
he was a product of someone pushing another to do something they don’t want. In the typical “they-wanted-this-so-you-have-to-do-it-for-their-respect” trope, the mother dies and the father pushes one of their kids to pursue their mom’s dream, and revive her legacy. alas, it only broke the poor kid.
vii.
“you’re not performing with me anymore? toya, don’t joke around like that!”, akito, confused at toya’s sudden confession. “i’m not joking.”, toya said back.
it lead to them agreeing to never show each other’s faces to one another. so harsh with their words under a cloud so dark filled with anger, and possible hatred.
this occurrence got toya thinking, wondering if he lost something that could’ve been beautiful, did he lose a butterfly that could lead him into a land of flowers? maybe he should turn back, and apologize, but that would go against what both of them just said.
(do you really mean that, akito...?)
viii.
toya— er, well, more like tsukasa and saki, found toya sitting down, spacing out while fiddling with his fingers.
toya thought back to what happened, what to do from then on. because without a partner, how is he supposed to surpass rad weekend? does he even want to? what about akito? what if he comes back and apologizes? what if he never does? does toya just forget about akito? what should he pursue now? what does he want to do in life?
(...i don’t know the answer to that.)
“toya! saki wants a plushie from the claw machine over there, could you try winning it?” tsukasa asked, freeing toya from another train of thought he definitely does not wish to ride on again. “o- ...of course.”
the arcade, along with the tenma siblings, were able to get his mind off of it as time passed, it cheered him up tremendously. toya is very thankful for them, seeing both tsukasa and saki as siblings.
ix.
“i have never had a legitimate dream like you do.”, toya said before thinking, no filter, not even thinking if it was something he should be admitting.
“but i’ve never seen someone practice dawn til dusk, morning til night like you do!”, akito exclaimed, loud.
“TOYA! LISTEN TO ME, DIDN’T YOU HAVE THE SAME DREAM AS ME? DIDN’T YOU THINK YOU WANNA SURPASS RAD WEEKEND TOO?”, akito’s voice grew louder. it wasn’t the same terrifying feeling like with his father, no. they are both negative, yes, but it was significantly different.
“do you really not want to sing with me anymore, toya...?”, and it grew smaller. it hurt toya, so much.
“...of course i do! isn’t that blatantly obvious?! i’ve wanted to live that dream with you so bad! excuse my language, but i was willing to chase it with you no matter how fucking far, akito!”, toya’s eyes watered, small tears rushing to the surface, releasing all the stress pent up in toya. all that thinking left him so... confused. so many emotions at once only confused him even more.
“toya... you finally ‘fessed up...!”, akito smiled, reaching out his hands by the height of toya’s face, prompting toya to come closer. akito then wiped any moisture from toya’s face from the tears. “its completely fine, toya. we can chase it together, we can beat rad weekend together.”, akito reasured.
“but i—”, toya cut off by akito, “aah, shut up about that. don’t go overthinkin' it. i wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me too.”
x.
it was their first performance as a group, they all collectively decided it was best to perform ‘ready steady’, the old ‘untitled’.
despite it being a fairly new song, the crowd was extatic, excited, it definately woke anyone who was sleeping up. the crowd was all up vibing, dancing to it.
the look on toya’s face, it was blindingly beautiful.
he looked so happy, he felt like he belonged.
(you’re face is so damn prettier like that, toya.), akito thought.