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Some part of you had hoped you’d be able to clean yourself up by the time Makoto got back. Some other part of you cursed yourself for having a breakdown so close to the end of her day, as though that were something you could schedule into blocks like an office meeting. Just your luck, she didn’t end up staying out late for drinks or anything, so when she finally got back, you were still padding at the red blotches on your face with a wet paper towel in the bathroom. Classy.
“Helloooo, do I hear someone scuttling around? I think I do!” She announced, her cheeriness clear even through the walls.
“Ha, uh, just a minute, I’m in the bathroom! Be right out!”
‘A minute,’ why the hell did you say that? No way you could fix everything that quickly. Still, lingering too long would be far too suspicious. So you did the best that you could. A few more pats to the face, wiping the sweat off of your hands, fixing rumpled clothing, everything required to put up the veneer of a well-adjusted individual.
“Makoto, hey!” You raise a hand and wave as soon as you spot her on the sofa. “Tough day? You look tired.”
“Ha! You’re saying that, you look like someone hit you with a hose!” She let out a snorting giggle, and you try hide exactly how much that stung. “Tiring, but not hard. Pretty basic stuff. But even then, ya girl was awesome, as always.”
“Don’t doubt it!” The words sound not quite right in your throat, but you ignore it. Going into the kitchen is a good enough excuse to keep her from seeing your face. “Want me to grab you a drink?”
“Eh, no thanks. You sound as tired as me, I don’t wanna make you run around.”
“Really, it’s fine.”
“Babe-”
“It’s fine.” You reply, and far too fast. Fantastic, now you sound like a weirdo.
“...Babe?” Booted footsteps plod into the kitchen after you. “Hey, c’mere. Lemme get a good look at you. Your voice sounds funny, do you feel sick or something?”
You can’t force yourself to turn around. You can’t force yourself to move at all. Your gaze is stuck on a cracked blue tile on the counter’s back wall. It’s all you can do. If you so much as twitch, any control you have over yourself is going to vanish.
Her hand touches your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Words come out through gritted teeth. “I’m not good enough.”
Makoto blinked, tilting her head. “At what?”
“At…” You trailed off, trying to find your words. It almost knocks you out of your stupor. “For you. I’m not good enough. For you. Why haven't you realized that and left yet?"
She’s quiet. Despite the lack of any real space between you and the counter, she finds a way to squeeze in. Makoto hops up right onto it, sliding down until she’s in front of you. Her fluffy tail curls into her lap, and she takes one of your hands, guiding it down until your fingers sink into the thick fur.
“‘Not good enough?’” Makoto asks you back.
You nod. “You’re fantastic. Look at you, you’re fantastic in every way. You’re Makoto Nanaya, and I’m just…me.” A sigh escapes you. “I’m not good enough for that.”
Her tail twitches, swishing a little against your hand. “Well, I guess that’s a little dumb, ain’t it? I’m not some kind of trophy you earn by being ‘good enough’ at something. I mean, that’s kinda gross, isn’t it?”
The thought hadn’t occurred to you. You’re mortified. “Oh god, I’m-”
“I’m teasing, I’m teasing. But seriously.” She gave your shoulder a gentle nudge. “Take me for my word on this. If I had a problem, I’d tell you that. Squirrels aren’t much for subtlety, y’know.”
You’re not sure if you believe her, but you nod anyway. You move to pull back, but without warning, she grabs onto your hand again, and uses the other to brush against your cheek.
“I mean it. I wouldn’t have any reason to lie to you. So don’t think stuff like that, okay? I care about you. You’re important to me. And you don’t need to do anything to justify that.”
The fur of her tail tickles your palm. You thumb over it until the strands smooth down. Your voice is hoarse. “Okay.”
“There we go, c’mere,” Makoto full-on wraps herself around you, tail included. It feels like a warm blanket. “I love you. Don’t go forgetting that.”