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“It seems more like a you problem to me, Bruno.”
“It’s a us problem, Hazel!”
“I’m not the one accusing you of kissing someone else, I trusted you!”
Angie could hear the voices getting louder from the kitchen. Her voice. And Bruno’s too. Feeling her heart pounding like crazy on her chest, Angie’s eyes turned to Thabi and James, both looking like they had just seen a ghost. Since the day Bruno came in as a bombshell, they had been a couple–it was almost sickening how close they got to each other. To hear them fighting now was something new but in a way that made Angie’s heart crumble and the knot on her stomach tighter.
She had thought it to be normal, to be just a doubt in the back of her mind, her not-very-sociable self feeling a little anxious around people. But as the time passed, her curiosity grew bigger. How would it be if I was with a girl? She had thought. What do her hands feel like? If I kissed her would it be soft? Those thoughts kept coming and coming as her feelings got bigger and bigger. Friendship. A lie she came up with by herself so there would be a line between them, a line that was so thin that now she could see how easily it was to jump.
“Well, fuck that!”
Craning her neck, Angie watched Bruno storm out from the kitchen, jaw and hands clenched, his brows frowned in a half thoughtful half pissed expression. And the worst of all, alone. Fuck. She bolted from her bench, rushing to the kitchen, not even sparing a glance at the other islanders in her way. Everything that mattered was her. Hazel.
“Oh, god,” she let out once she saw Hazel’s eyes full of tears. “What happened?”
Angie’s eyes darted to Will and Najuma. They were next to Hazel on the counter, caressing her arms and back as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hands. The sight of her crumbling like that made Angie’s heart stop for a second.
“It’s OK,” she let out, ever so soft that she couldn’t believe it was her talking, as she hugged Hazel and hid her face in her embrace. She would never be the one to initiate those moments yet she knew how Hazel needed it. “I’m here now.”
Before anyone could say anything about what just happened, Angie grabbed Hazel’s hands and led her over to the daybeds, far away from the rest of the islanders and the party commotion. Knowing how fast gossip could be spread there, it was just a matter of time before everyone was commenting, trying to ask questions, and coming up with theories on their own, and that was the last thing Hazel needed to deal with right now.
“Whatever happened,” she said as they both sat down on the daybeds, the petals not adding to the atmosphere. “I’m sure you handled it brilliantly.”
Hazel’s dark pits raised to meet Angie’s, the first time they did after the fight. There was a glimpse of defeat on them. “It’s so unfair, Anj…”
“I know, babes,” she said as she scooched over, brushing her fingertips on Hazel’s fingers. “What did he do?”
“He thinks I fancy Dylan,” Hazel said. Dylan’s name sounded like a curse on her lips but the reaction didn’t come as a surprise to Angie. Since the day Dylan set foot on the island he had laid on thick with her, always saying the stupidest pick-up lines and making her uncomfortable. “That I kissed him.”
“What?” Angie’s mouth was hanging open. Dylan was disgusting but Bruno was dumber than she had thought—and she had never described him as smart. “What a fucking knob.”
“Tell me about it.” Hazel sighed. “Seriously, Anj, I’m fuming. The whole argument was like, me trying to defend myself and he even fucking dare to, to like, say that I should sleep outside? Like Imma fucking dog? That was not the Bruno I know, not the Bruno I like.”
Like. Not love. Angie didn’t know exactly what that meant, or why she was fixating on little details in times like this. But she was and oh, boy, what a relief was to know that she wasn’t there yet with Bruno. That way the heartbreak would hurt less. But for which one of them? That was yet to be found.
“What did you say?”
“That he could fuck himself too if he didn’t need me anyway,” Hazel said with a roll of eyes, wiping the stray tears that insisted to fall. She never failed to amaze Angie, always clapping back with that sassy attitude one could only admire. Such a bad temper, Angie thought, giggling under her breath. “Don’t laugh.” Hazel scolded with a frown.
Angie clasped a hand to her mouth, wanting to laugh so badly now. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She said, nuzzling her face on Hazel’s hair as the familiar flowery scent surrounded her. When she raised her head to meet her face, she could see her nose reddening and her eyes filled with tears “Oh, no, no, don’t cry.” Carefully, thinking she could break under her thumb, Angie stroked her cheeks with it. “Listen, listen, Bruno’s being a dickhead, ok? I’m sure he’ll be back to his senses tomorrow and will be so, so sorry.”
Hazel shook her head slightly. “The thing is… I’m not even sure if I wanna be back together, Anj.” She sighed, resting her head on Angie’s shoulders. “Why would I? If he thinks of me like that… If he doesn’t trust me?”
Instinctively, Angie circled Hazel’s body with her arm, bringing her close. “I see where this is coming from but…” She squeezed Hazel’s waist. “What are you gonna do if things didn’t work out with Bruno?”
Hazel’s hand found Angie’s and intertwined their fingers. “Yeah, I really don’t see any of those other boys as anything but good mates. Not even Oliver. I mean, he’s a sweetheart and all but that’s it.” She sighed. “If I had to pick a boy, Bruno’s the only option.”
“As for the girls… ?” Angie eyed her. Hazel was never shy about the fact that she was bisexual, openly flirting with Najuma before coupling up with Bruno and joking around with Cora about it, in complete opposition to Angie’s lack of knowledge.
“Well… there is one girl.” Hazel said, her pinchable cheeks turning bright pink. “But she doesn’t see me as anything more than friends, so there is that…”
“I see…” Angie whispered, so low that she wasn’t sure if Hazel could hear her. She could feel her heart racing in her chest, the butterflies flying up and down inside of her stomach, the cold breeze of the night making her shiver. Was it possible? Did Hazel secretly fancy her? Was she the one that only saw her as a friend? And why did that make her feel funny? Angie shook her head. That was a problem for future Angie to deal with. “We should probably try to sleep now, right?” She said, trying to avoid facing her friend—it would be a problem if she had to explain why her cheeks were pink.
Hazel nodded slowly, still looking defeated, but a little better. Angie watched as she laid her back against the mattress and threw her shoes away like they were some kind of dead weight. With a sigh, she turned her body to face Angie, her tiny vinyl black dress a little too high up her body, barely covering her lingerie. For a fraction of a second, Angie saw how moonlight envelopes perfection and clings itself to it.
Swiftly, she took her shoes off and laid alongside Hazel, letting moonlight shine on her brown skin as well. With a mischievous smile, she brought the duvet over the two of them, shielding their bodies from the cold and covering Hazel’s mess.
“What are you doing?” Hazel asked. Her once weak smile shined brightly. “Aren’t you going back to the main room?”
“I’d rather keep you company,” Angie giggled. “Plus, what’s there for me if not an empty bed and snores?”
“When you put it like that it makes sleeping here not a bad idea at all.”
The two of them giggled to each other, getting closer and closer with each laugh. With a sigh, Angie turned her back to her, feeling… good. She couldn’t explain why she was happy. It was this warm feeling on her chest that insisted on growing every time they were together. It was flustered faces and missing words that had never failed her before. It was a constant fear that held hands with pure joy and took over every inch of her body, making her a shivering mess. It was everything and nothing at the same time. The certainty of having to choose but also the knowledge that it was never possible to not follow that same path over and over again. It was so simple, the words could slip from her lips right now: it was…
“Hey, Hazel…” a deep masculine voice cut Angie’s train of thought as she felt Hazel stiffening beside her. “I came to see if you’re OK.”
Angie could almost hear Hazel’s eyes rolling with pure disgust, and she could feel it as she moved around, propping herself onto her elbows. “No,” she jetted. “Thanks to you. Jerk.”
“Yeah… I came to apologise. I think I might have let them think we did something more… It wasn’t my intention, I swear. I just…”
Oh, for fucks sake. Angie thought, her turn to roll her eyes. She was not really close to many islanders and sometimes couldn’t bear them half the time but Dylan, especially, was insufferable. If only she could give him a kick on the…
“Yeah, right.” She heard Hazel say as she laid back in the bed, grabbing her pillow and covering her face with it. “I don’t like you, Dylan.”
“You don’t?” He dared to ask. Was he dumb? Angie was starting to believe he was.
“No!” Hazel almost shouted, if it wasn’t for the pillow. You go, gurl.
“Agree to disagree…” Oh, yeah, totally dumb. No one had an ego like that and was smart at the same time. “Don’t you wanna maybe… talk? Alone.”
“What?” There was a nervous laugh in her voice. Oh, no. “Dylan, fuck off!”
“Are you sure? Maybe we can sort it…” His voice was closer now.
Angie sat up, turning to face him. He was standing too close to the bed, a creepy cocky smile on his lips. “Mate, she told you to fuck off. Are you fucking deaf? Fuck. Off.” Angie said. Her words were full of anger and contempt. Just as she meant it.
He looked at her as if she was the worst person to ever walk into a room but she couldn’t give two fuck about him now. With a loose hand, she shooed him, rolling her eyes as he clicked his tongue.
“Right.” He stepped back. “I’ll see you in the morning, Hazel.”
The two of them watched in silence as he walked back to the Villa, and as soon as he was out of sight, Hazel let out a nervous giggle. Angie could only hold her hand, her palms cold and sweaty. “Was it just me or did it sound like a threat?” she asked.
“It fucking did!” Hazel said, squeezing her hand. “Thank you, Anj, you’re literally the only person I can trust here.”
Breathing deeply, Angie looked at Hazel’s eyes and gave her a flourished smile. “You’re my best friend, Hazel, of course, you can trust me.”
“You’re my best friend, too.”
In silence, they laid back on the bed, arms wrapped around each other so comfortably that Angie could be fooled that they were used to it by now. In silent conversations with herself, Angie let her thoughts run wild, listening to the darkest night whispering to her ears the words she was the most afraid of.
She was in love.