Chapter Text
Hermione couldn’t believe just how much of an arse Ronald Weasley could be. She couldn’t believe his entitlement, she couldn't believe his attitude, and most of all, she couldn't believe the audacity he had to act the way he was acting.
Saying Hermione was mad was an understatement. Hermione was furious.
At least that’s what she was telling herself.
She didn’t want to remember the heat on her face, the redness creeping up her neck. The way Ron, one of her closest friends, was telling her the same thing all of her bullies did. Maybe they were right. Maybe she was just deluding herself into thinking she could be anything more than a plain, unpopular, know-it-all.
This year had been particularly terrible. Pansy charming her teeth, Ron and Harry fighting all the time, Ron’s moods. Everything seemed to fall apart this year.
Normally she could shake off the bullying. But it hurt especially to hear it from her own friend.
Ron was the cherry on top of all of Hermione’s struggles. Even Hermione’s dormmates seemed to be speaking in a language she didn’t understand. They talked of boys and fashion. Hermione was never one for stuff like clothing and makeup. She didn’t feel any animosity towards those who did, it just wasn’t her cup of tea.
She had always felt a bit like an outsider due to this, but this year it had made her feel even worse. Suddenly how you looked, talked, and even smelled mattered. Hermione didn’t know the latest gossip or the latest boy or the latest trend. She didn’t even want to, she just wanted to fit in.
But clothes were the least of her problems. Boys were far greater. Suddenly every girl in her school was obsessed with them. Well, not every girl, but most. Hermione didn’t find the same appeal that others did. When girls pointed out a cute boy she didn’t quite see it. Sure, she could acknowledge the general attractiveness but something told her what she and they were seeing wasn’t the same.
She didn’t take notice of boys the way her peers did, and it bothered her.
And maybe that was why Ron was so important to her. Finally, a boy she could take notice in! A boy to talk about and look at. Ron was perfect, why, most of his family thought they should be together. So why not date? They could be the perfect couple.
But even Ron didn’t take notice of her. Even he didn’t care.
Hermione didn’t need to think about those things, though. She didn’t want to. So she went running into a solitary corridor, hoping for some time to run the anger of the event through her mind.
“Granger?” a voice asked.
Hermione looked up. It was Pansy, sitting on the ledge of a window in the corridor.
“What are you doing here?” Hermione asked.
“I could ask the same for you. You seemed to be having a fine time just a little bit ago.”
Hermione sighed as she took off her heels. Pansy was the last person she wanted to see. Just another person to tell her she wasn’t good enough.
“I was. Ron just… I don’t know. It’s late, we’re tired. I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing.”
“In my experience, it’s typically the boy being overdramatic. Spill.”
Surprisingly Pansy’s voice held none of the venom it normally did. She seemed genuine, sincere, somehow. Almost… friendly.
Hermione climbed onto the ledge and sat next to Pansy. The night air was cool and the stars lit up the night just enough so they could see, but not too much, and it felt beautiful. Something about sitting with Pansy just felt right. It felt like fate, that they were both together that night.
“Harry and Ron were struggling to find dates before the Yule Ball because Harry’s crush was already going with someone and Ron didn’t have a date yet. Ron decided to ask me as a last-ditch resort because he figured nobody would ask me.
Hermione made a sour face and scowled.
“He was being really rude about it, like he was doing me this big favor by asking me to the ball. I told him I already had a date and he didn’t believe me. He thought I was just embarrassed and well, that made me really angry. Then at the ball, he was acting all sour and rude and trying to ruin my night. He got mad at me, brought up something about the age gap between Victor and me and I kind of blew up at him. Now I’m here.”
She laughed a little, mostly to calm herself down. Retelling the story reminded her of the embarrassment and anger. She could feel her face going red and warm and her heart beating fast. She was trying to focus on the anger she felt towards Ron, and not the hurt. The anger was bearable.
Pansy did something unexpected. She leaned her head on Hermione's shoulder and said, “Huh. Weasley seems like he’s kind of awful.”
“Sometimes he can be,” Hermione said with a sigh. “What about you, why aren’t you out enjoying the ball?”
“Eh, no reason, really. The ball was pretty boring. I went with Draco and we had a fine enough night, I suppose, but it wasn’t anything special. So many people were there, it felt like the whole Slytherin house was looking at us. I got a little overwhelmed and came here for the solitude.”
Suddenly Hermione was painfully aware that she had technically intruded Pansy’s space. She felt her neck get warm again.
“Oh, sorry, I can leave.”
“No, stay. I don’t mind having you here.
“As long as I’m not bothering you.”
Pansy sighed in contentment and Hermione relaxed a little. It was nice, somehow, having Pansy there.
“Tell me more about your grievances with Weasley, it’s a little entertaining to hear about drama that isn’t of my own house.”
“Okay… as long as you don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.
Hermione laughed a little bit, mostly from embarrassment.
“In that case, I have a crush on Ron. Well, I did. Let’s see how long this crush stands up after the way he’s been treating me the past couple of days.”
Hermione felt herself wince a little when she confessed the crush. It felt wrong to say out loud, almost ingenuine. She felt like she was lying to Pansy, though she knew she wasn’t. It made her uncomfortable, and she half expected Pansy to be mad. Yes, she wanted Ron to notice her, and she wanted someone to date. So why did it feel wrong to say she liked Ron? She liked his… hair. And his… voice. She found herself trying to search for things that attracted her but the list came up blank.
She didn’t want to know why
To her surprise, though, Pansy laughed out loud. It was a startling change from her bleak thoughts.
“Is that what I’m not supposed to tell anyone? Well, I won't have to, the whole school already knows.”
“Is it that obvious?” Hermione groaned, covering her face with her hands. It was news to her. She was genuinely surprised. She rarely thought about her crush, and she never tried to flirt with Ron or anything.
“Granger, the entire Fourth Year Slytherin population has bets going on when you’ll be together. But don’t worry, Weasley doesn’t know a thing. People will probably forget about the whole rumor after tonight, seeing as you went with Krum to the dance.”
“Really?”
“Really. Continue telling me about your issues with him, though.”
“Well, I like him. But he’s oblivious. He doesn't notice me at all, except when he needs help with homework or if he needs a backup date. It’s maddening. It’s like he still sees me as an annoying First Year know-it-all.” She sighed. “We’ve been friends for years and yet I don’t think he’ll ever see me as anything more.”
Again, it felt odd to say out loud. She wanted Ron’s attention for sure, but his love…? She shook her head as if doing that would shake away her thoughts.
Pansy was silent for a moment and withdrew her head from Hermione’s shoulder. Her brows furrowed and she looked deep in thought.
“You know what we could do?”
“What?”
“We could fake date.”
Hermione raised her eyebrows in question.
“Fake date?”
“Listen, you want his attention, right? For him to notice you and stop treating you like a backup?”
“Yes.”
“What you need to do is stop giving in to him. If he wants you to do his homework, say no. If he wants you as a last resort, say no. Use me as an excuse. Not only will he notice everyone you do for him, but he'll also probably get jealous as well. Weasley seems like the jealous type, no offense, and he’ll probably get angry that instead of helping him, you’re seeing me.”
Of all the things Hermione expected Pansy to say, this was not one of them. Fake date? Hermione didn’t even know if she was gay. And was this really the best way to catch his attention? It would’ve been better if the person she was fake dating was at least a friend, at least nice to her, but this was Pansy she was talking about. Pansy wasn’t nice. Pansy was rude, sometimes cruel. She could hardly stand Pansy during the best of times, let alone date her.
The night had been fun, though. More fun than the ball. Somehow she was enjoying Pansy’s company. Maybe she was even enjoying it more than the company of the boys.
It was a crazy idea, really, it was a stupid idea. It was nonsensical and barely thought through and it had a million flaws but still. It was exciting and fun and agreeing just seemed like the right thing to do.
Hermione was a sensible girl. She was smart. She got good grades and was well behaved and she made decisions with her head, not her heart. Every choice was carefully thought out and thought through. Sometimes it was more than thought through.
But Hermione was tired of overthinking. She didn’t want to think this through. She didn’t want to go back to her dorm and see Ron, with whom she was angry with, and Harry, who was oblivious.
What did she want? At the moment, it was to stay there with Pansy. To talk throughout the night. To spill her problems, problems she couldn't talk about with Harry, and she didn’t want to talk about with other girls.
So she let her heart decide for once.
“Let’s do it.”
It wouldn’t be the last time she made that decision.