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People keep saying that despite my difficult temperament, I am an extremely intelligent guy, so why the hell didn't I realize what was happening right under my nose?
— Oe, Deku, what the fuck is this?
The words escape me before I can better assess the situation, yet I scold myself for being so stupid, so I swallow dryly before trying again.
— Since when?
The softer tone is foreign to me but the small smile Izuku offers me makes something stir in my chest.
— Does anyone know?
He denies it and this time it's my stomach that seems to turn, I watch him breathe hard and slowly lie down on his back, his head resting next to the petals reddened by his blood.
I clench my fists and take one last look around, we were trapped in that rubble waiting for rescue, a snarl settled in my throat as I heard him cough.
My gaze went down to the small body, which shook with a new batch of petals, forcing him to turn around to vomit. The sight caused me disgust and hatred, because of all the people, that nerd was the least deserving of dying for something as stupid as love.
— Tell me who it is.
Gasping for breath, Izuku laid his back down again on the dirty floor, and unconsciously I sat down beside him, resting the back of his neck on my lap. Seeing him so weak was making me angry.
— Tell me who the bastard is, Deku!
I exclaimed, the urge to blow up everything around us burning in the palm of my hands, but Izuku's eyelids closed and, although I knew he was still breathing, the possibility of losing him terrified me.
And realizing this... was frightening.
It was Christmas of our second year in the A.U. and part of me hated having to return home, luckily I managed to escape the family party that took place in my residence.
However, not everything is perfect and that stupid nerd followed me, saying that no one should spend that night alone.
— I don't need anyone!
I turned to face him and instead of seeing fear in his gaze, I saw his determination, a strong, eye-catching gleam that made me bite my teeth.
— Kacchan!
Deku yelled in surprise as I marched up to him, growling like a wolf until I was inches from his face.
— You annoy me. — I said, but he was unmoved.
— Everyone annoys you, Kacchan. — the shadow of a smile flashed across his face.
I wanted to contradict him, but he was fucking right and it pissed me off, so I challenged him to face me, and we fought on that deserted beach until Izuku gave in, allowing me to pin him against the sand.
— I won again.
The pride almost didn't fit in my chest, but to my utter disbelief, it wasn't just me that I felt it for.
Why the hell was I remembering something so specific?
— Kacchan.
Deku murmurs still on my lap and his eyelids flutter, indicating the occurrence of a dream. I swallow dryly before touching his forehead, relief running through me as I notice the absence of fever, and for a moment I judge myself for being so kind.
Even though our relationship had progressed from mortal rivals to rival friends, I admit that I never stopped to think about what that actually meant. Sure, he was still Deku and I would still be number one, but something about the way my eyes saw him had changed.
And honestly, I can't tell if that makes me mad, and maybe that's what turns my stomach...the uncertainty of what that feeling in my chest means.
I was in the gym practicing some new moves when Izuku came in with some strange talk.
— Ne, Kacchan, how do you feel about Kirishima-kun?
My first reaction was to blow his face off until his hair swelled up like boiled broccoli, then I cursed him as an idiot while explaining that the shitty hair was my best fucking friend and that was it.
As expected, Deku laughed at my reaction before giving me one of his bright smiles, and to my utter dread, I thought he was cute even with that ridiculous hair.
That was the first time I really looked at Deku and I confess that the image of his freckled face invaded my dreams for nights on end.
— Ne, Kacchan.
I blinked twice, meeting his eyes slightly open, my heart leapt and my throat went dry.
What the hell was happening to me?
— Kirishima-kun... he told me he likes you.
— Huh? — I shouted, frowning.
Then he told me about his conversation with the shit-hair and then asked me if there was a chance we could have something, obviously I denied it, since I wasn't attracted to Kirishima.
— Who are you attracted to, Kacchan?
What kind of strange questions were these?
I wanted to slap him, but a new coughing fit made him vomit up a few more bloody petals, his frailty filling me with hatred once again.
— What matters now is you, you stupid nerd!
He didn't seem to mind my behavior, closing his eyes again as I questioned him, confident that I would get him to confess the truth to me.
That Deku would tell me who the bastard he had feelings for was, because I wouldn't admit to losing my biggest rival to stupid flower disease. Then the memory of something that had occurred two days ago came fresh in my mind, like a breeze of air wanting to show me the truth.
— I admire you, Kacchan.
We were sitting on the couch in the common area of our dorm, it was around three in the morning and sleep had deserted us.
— Tsc. — a shrug was my response.
Even with my indifferent pose, Izuku stared at me longingly, and only an idiot would not notice the affection in his gaze.
— You admire everyone, Deku. — I retorted, looking away.
— But Kacchan is different. — he commented, and I was forced to observe him.
— Different how?
Blushing, Deku sighed before answering me, his hands placed on his legs denoting his nervousness.
— It's because I can't imagine my life without you, Kacchan.
Having said this, he hurriedly got up and said goodbye, but it hadn't been fast enough to prevent me from seeing the tears that had accumulated in the corner of his eyes.
When Izuku said those words to me, I thought he was referring to the fact that we grew up together, which means we have a unique bond that the others in our high school don't have.
But that's not it, shit, how could I have been so stupid?
— I'm the bastard, right, Deku?
Silence and then his gaze met mine, but instead of confirming me with words, he let himself cry right there in my lap.
— I'm sorry, Kacchan.
While Deku begged for my forgiveness and tried to explain himself, I sank into my conscience, searching for the right answer, even though everything is very irrational when it comes to feelings.
— It's okay, Kacchan. — he sniffled, wiping away tears. — I've already scheduled the surgery.
— What the fuck?
That was absurd, as if I was going to let him forget about me and give up his dreams for a flower.
— You won't.
— But Kacchan...
— I don't want to lose my rival.
His mouth opened, but soon closed at the lack of words, so I continued.
— You're the Deku who never gives up, right?
He nodded and my heart leapt again, and the more I looked at him, the more I realized how much I wanted him around. He could be annoying with his bright smile and idiotic with his way of worrying about everyone, but he would never stop being the boy who grew up next to me.
The brat who followed me day and night, and who had become my first and only rival, shit, he was my Deku.
— It shouldn't be that hard to win me over. — I grunted, turning away from his curious gaze. — You must still have a few months left, right?
With difficulty, Izuku sat down in front of me, the look on his face sending a shiver down my spine. That was it, that stupid nerd was determined.
— So do I have a chance, Kacchan?
I wanted to laugh at how dumb he could be for someone so observant, but I kept my frustration in check.
— You're the only one who has it, you idiot.
The smile that charmed his face made my chest warm, and before I could regret it, the confession slipped out.
— I like you too, nerd.
I could feel his mind filling with questions, so I pulled his chin toward me and sealed his mouth, being utterly surprised at how good it felt to kiss him.
— But you said I had to win you over. — he mumbled confused.
— Shut up and let me kiss you, Deku!
Fortunately, Izuku accepted my suggestion and as we finished our second kiss, rescue appeared. And after a tedious afternoon in the hospital, Deku came to invite me to dinner, saying that it was a reward for my having accepted his feelings and saved his life.
Little did this idiot know that it was I, the great and indomitable Bakugou Katsuki, who would not know how to live without his annoying and clinging presence at my side.