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The Guide to Getting a Malfoy to Shut Up (And Fall In Love, Apparently)

Summary:

Five times Harry flirted with Draco to avoid getting made fun of (and just to flirt with him, even if it takes him awhile for him to realize it), and the one time Draco loses his shit over it.

Notes:

I wrote this for a class assignment so I hope you like it!

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Harry sat alone in the compartment alone, waiting for Hermione and Ron to get back from the prefects meeting. We’re sorry Harry, Hermione had said, we would stay if we could. It wasn’t like Harry was going to break down without them, he could handle a couple of hours without everyone around him treating him like he was made out of glass. This is what everyone has been doing since the end of the war last year.

Last year. 

He shivered thinking about it. 

Ever since he defeated Voldemort everyone either worshipped the ground he walked on or gave him pitying glances because of everything - everyone - he had lost. 

Everyone except…

“Oi! Potter!” 

Harry groaned as he turned to the opening of the compartment, glaring at the smirking blond being flanked by his childhood bodyguard: Goyle. 

“What do you want, Malfoy?” 

The Slytherin only seemed to smirk wider, turning to make his prefect badge gleam in the light coming from the window. “Is that a way to address your prefect, Potter? I ought to take points.” 

Harry gritted his teeth, “Yeah, right as if you were made prefect again. Eighth years can’t even be one.” 

Draco’s smirk turned into a sneer, “And what about you, Potter? 

Harry snorted, “Yeah, put me in a position of authority. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.” 

Malfoy looked taken aback, and Harry smiled as the blonde started grasping at straws, “Well, you have had a bit of trouble with authority lately, haven’t you? I saw your little stint in the Prophet. Punching an Auror for merely saying his piece, even spent some time in captivity at the ministry I hear.” Harry clenched a fist, everyone who read the paper and their mother knew that the Auror he punched was harassing him during his summer Auror training. Malfoy was just being a prick and he still got under his skin. If he can just find a way to get back at him for once–

Then it hit him. 

Oh, this was going to be good. 

Harry stood up, preening internally when he realized he was about a head taller than the blonde, and stalked forward letting his eyes trail up and down before staring right into Malfoy’s eyes. 

And, ok, Harry hates Malfoy with a burning passion, has since First Year. But even he wasn’t blind enough to see that the boy was absolutely gorgeous. With his fine, platinum blonde hair outlining high cheekbones and beautiful silver eyes, he could see - objectively - why they called Malfoy the Slytherin Prince. 

The boy is a prat, but a pretty one. 

So, Harry leaned in closer, resting his forearm against the door frame as he towered over Malfoy, “Is that what you’re into, Malfoy? Bad boys? If it is, you could have just asked. You don’t have to venture to the other side of the train just for my attention.” 

Harry took great joy in watching Malfoy’s gobsmacked expression light up in a dark red, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I-In your dreams, Potter.” 

Harry smirked, “I hope so.” 

Malfoy blanched before turning on his heels and practically running away, a bewildered Goyle following him. 

Harry thought it was worth the matching expressions Ron and Hermione gave him when they found Harry cackling like a loon. 

~ 0 ~

The next time it happened was in potions. The Slytherins on the other side of the room were continuously tossing various ingredients across the room every time Slughorn turned his back.

Harry had tried to ignore it and was doing pretty well until a large bezoar landed in his potion and causing it to explode and splash all over his face and glasses. Luckily, he was only in the beginning stages so any contact would not have been fatal just yet. He heard snickers come from the right of the room, only to see none other than Malfoy, snickering as Blaise Zabini rolled his eyes at his partner’s childishness. 

Harry glared at the Slytherins for a moment before remembering what he did on the train and found the perfect way to get back at him for it. He threw Malfoy a charming grin before lifting up the front of his shirt to wipe off his face, revealing a set of abs he had developed over early Auror training and spending the summer helping rebuild the school. 

Ron was smirking next to him, completely oblivious to Harry’s goal, and gave a joking wolf whistle that set off a wave of giggling from the Gryffindors. 

Amidst all the chatter, Harry winked at Draco Malfoy as Slughorn admonished him for disrupting class. 

~0~

It was about two months into the year when Ron and Hermione finally confronted him about it. 

“Harry,” he looked up from his Transfiguration essay to a concerned-looking Hermione, “We need to talk.” 

Ron frowned, “Yeah, Mate, at first we thought it was because the war is still affecting you but–”

“We’re worried,” Hermione interrupted. 

Harry raised an eyebrow, he didn’t remember doing anything particularly stupid this week, “About what?” 

Ron rolled his eyes, “About whatever is going on with you and Malfoy! It’s like you’re…flirting with him. It’s disturbing.” 

Harry bit down a smile, “It’s actually pretty fun.” 

Hermione looked alarmed, “Harry do you…do you fancy Malfoy?” 

The boy’s eyes widened comically. Why on earth would they think that he fancies Draco Malfoy? Yeah, sure, he’s been flirting with him…oh. “What? No!” 

“Then why the hell are you flirting with him, mate?” Ron exclaimed.

Hermione sat next to him, setting a hand on his shoulder, “Harry, you know we’ve been nothing but supportive since you came out, but Malfoy is taking it a bit too far.” 

Harry laughed and explained the situation. Every time he flirts with Malfoy, the Slytherin gets all flustered and completely forgets what he was doing in the first place. So, Malfoy starts making fun of him, Harry flirts and gets him all worked up, Malfoy runs for the hills and Harry isn’t being made fun of anymore. No exchange of nasty comments until one leaves is needed. 

Ron looks at him in awe, “That’s bloody brilliant.” 

Hermione looks at him like he also had grown a second head, “Ron! Do not encourage him! This is absolutely idiotic and could have serious repercussions.” She rounded on Harry, “You can’t just play at someone’s emotions like that, Harry.” 

Harry raised an eyebrow, “I thought you were against me fancying Malfoy?” She hit him with her Charms textbook, “Ow! What the hell, Hermione?” 

The girl huffed, “Serves you right. Now let’s go before we’re late for Charms.” 

~0~

On the way back to the common room, Harry and Ron had been laughing about Seamus’ latest exploding failure in Charms when someone shoulder-checked him from behind. 

“Watch where you’re going, Scarhead. One would think that those hideous glasses would be good for something.” 

Goyle snickered at Malfoy’s jibe, the blonde’s signature smirk painting his face. 

Ron charged forward, but Harry pulled him back and shook his head before turning to the blond with a sweet smile, “I’d much rather watch where you’re going Malfoy, it’s always a nice view.” 

Once again, Harry took great joy in seeing the Slytherin’s face turn Gryffindor red. “Shut up, Potter.” He practically ran down the hall, his cronies right at his heels. 

~0~

It was any typical Saturday morning as far as Harry was concerned, students were filing into the Great Hall for breakfast, all relaxed and joyful for a day where they finally don’t have homework to worry about until Monday. Only one small detail had changed that affected far too much than what he was comfortable with. 

Malfoy had his hair down. 

Gone were the mass amounts of hair gel and the pompous smirk that made everyone want to swoon and punch him in the face at the same time (Or maybe that was just Harry). Instead, his hair was loose, some of it falling just above his eyes and the rest just looking like he ran his hands through it a couple of times and left it at that. He wasn’t wearing his usual robes either, just a white button-up that had a couple of the top buttons undone, and the sleeves were rolled up to his forearms, with a pair of black slacks. 

And he looked absolutely breathtaking. 

Harry's mind doubled back. Get, a grip, Potter, the man has been your enemy for years. He can’t go around being attracted to Draco Malfoy. Everyone would think that he had gone off his rocker! 

Wouldn’t be the first time. He thought bitterly. 

Harry came to the realization that he was still staring at Malfoy when he locked eyes with the blonde, who was giving him a look of confusion and discomfort. To smooth it over, Harry gave him a once-over, much like he did on the train, and threw him a pair of finger guns and a wink. Malfoy glared at him with a flush and rushed to the Slytherin table, his back to the rest of the room. 

He turned to Hermione, who gave him a pointed look. Harry just shrugged and promptly ignored her for the rest of the meal. 

~0~

“...What is going on between Malfoy and Potter?” 

“Are they dating?” 

“No, no, they’ve been at each other’s throats for years…” 

“Yeah but I’ve always thought that there was some kind of weird romantic tension or something between them.” 

“You know, you do have a point…” 

Harry snorted as he stalked down the hall, listening to the students of Hogwarts. There was no romantic tension between him and Malfoy. They were rivals. And the flirting was just a bit of fun. It’s not like he actually has feelings for Malfoy. Ugh. 

He was - quite literally - slammed out of his thoughts as someone ran into him and sent him sprawling to the ground. 

“Shit! I am so sorry are you - oh, it’s you.” 

Harry brushed away the hair that had fallen on his face during the fall, looked up, and smiled up at the blonde that had just run into him, “Well hello there, Malfoy.” 

The Slytherin glared down at him, “What do you want, Potter?” 

“Why would I want anything? You’re the one who ran into me. If I didn’t know better you did it on purpose just to see me.” Harry said cheekily. 

“Well, then it’s a good thing you know better, you arrogant arse.” Malfoy snapped. 

Harry grinned and got up in one smooth movement, “Malfoy, you wound me, I thought we had something.” 

The shorter boy scoffed, “Yeah, right, you wish.” 

Harry stepped closer, “Yeah, I do.” 

The Gryffindor stepped close enough so their faces were mere centimeters apart. Beautiful silver eyes glanced down to the lower part of his face before meeting green. “I-I, uh…” 

Harry stole a glance at the blonde fringe on top of Malfoy’s head, “You know, you should leave your hair down more, it’s a good look on you. Makes you look more relaxed.” Then Harry made the most daring move yet, he leaned down to give the other boy a peck on the cheek and walked away. Unbeknownst to him, he left Draco Malfoy staring at his retreating form, looking absolutely starstruck.

And ok, maybe he had feelings for Malfoy. Maybe, it was something a lot more than that, and it had taken eight years for him to notice. 

~0~

It didn’t take a genius to tell that Draco Malfoy was furious. 

It also didn’t take a genius to know that if you see him stomping down the hall like a charging bull, you duck out of the way before you get the horns. Or cursed. 

But Potter wasn’t exactly known for his brilliance.

“Potter!” He roared, catching the attention of everyone in the hall. 

The teen barely had enough time to turn around before he was being thrown against a wall, Draco’s eyes icy as he pressed an arm against the taller boy’s throat, “What the hell are you on about, Potter?” 

The Gryffindor had the audacity to look confused, “What are you talking about?” 

Draco growled and pushed harder on Potter’s neck, making him throw his hands up in surrender, “Ah! Ok, ok, ok! Don’t play dumb. Lesson learned.” 

“What is this? This thing you’ve been doing. Is this some kind of ploy? Some sort of humiliation tactic?” 

“Well, actually-” 

“Or are you just trying to be cruel, to play with my emotions and give me hope only to take it away?” 

“Wait, what?” 

Draco’s eyes started to tear up, “I bet that’s it, isn’t it? To manipulate me into believing that you actually liked me back after all these years only to turn around and humiliate me all over again.” 

“Malfoy-” 

Draco let his arm fall and looked down, his voice barely a whisper as tears ran down his pale face, “You fucking bastard, I thought the “Chosen One” would be above doing something so cruel.” 

“Draco-” Potter reached for his arm but the blonde pushed him away and started running in the other direction. “Damn it. Malfoy! Wait!” 

 

 

Harry looked in every nook and cranny of the castle for hours. He could feel his heartbeat roaring, hoping to whatever entity listening that he could beg for forgiveness. 

Then he heard it, right as he passed Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. “Oh, Draco, it’s not your fault…” 

Harry opened the door to the bathroom, steeling himself before walking inside. 

His eyes landed on Draco first. The blonde was curled up into a ball underneath one of the sinks, head buried in his arms as Moaning Myrtle did her meat to comfort him. 

“Well, this looks familiar.” 

Harry fought the urge to smack himself. Really, Potter? After everything you did today you’re going to bring up the time when you almost killed him? 

Myrtle startled and flew back into the toilet with a soft cry. 

Malfoy looked up at him, even when crying it was pretty damn terrifying, “What do you want, Potter? Come to humiliate me some more?” 

Harry winced, “No.” 

“Yeah, right,” the Slytherin scoffed, “You can leave now.” 

Harry didn’t leave, in fact, he did the opposite, he curled up under the sink right next to Malfoy, “I swear I’m not.” 

Malfoy rolled his eyes, “Well sorry if I don’t believe you, Potter.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” 

A silence rolled over the room, no sound but a faint dripping sound from one of the sinks. 

Harry sighed and leaned his head against the wall with a dull THUNK! “Do you want to know why I flirted with you all year?” 

“No.” 

“Because I wanted to avoid you.” 

Malfoy looked over at him, a little confused and hurt, “What? How does that even-” 

Harry shrugged, “That’s what I thought when it started, every time I did it you got all flustered and would leave me alone, plus I liked finally having something to hold over your head. Like you’ve been doing to me for years.” 

Malfoy’s eyes smoldered with fury, “Potter if you think-” 

But the Gryffindor kept going, “But then, I realized that wasn’t the case at all.” He turned his head to look Malfoy in the eye, “There is a fine line between love and hate, so I’ve been told.” 

“Potter, what exactly are you saying?” Malfoy questioned, not daring to give himself hope. 

“I’m saying that I like you too, Draco Malfoy,” Harry said, being completely honest and open. “Maybe more than that. But I liked seeing you get all flustered, I thought it was cute. I liked that your eyes got much brighter every time I flirted because they’re the prettiest things I’ve ever seen. I liked seeing you with your hair down and wearing jumpers three sizes too big around the castle when it got cold because you looked so relaxed and happy and so fucking gorgeous. And when you pushed me against that wall earlier, Merlin, you have no idea how hot you are when you’re pissed off.” 

Draco refused to take his eyes off of his lap, his cheeks flushed a light pink, “W-why are you telling me this?” 

Harry used two fingers to grasp the other boy’s chin and guided him to meet his eyes, “Because it’s true. Because it’s been something I’ve needed to say for years but didn’t realize until just now.” 

Draco let out a wet laugh as he wiped away the tears on his face, “Well, you always have been an idiot.” 

Harry laughed, “So true.” 

Another silence fell, this one much more comfortable than the first. Draco had let his head fall against Harry’s shoulder and Harry put an arm around him. They just sat there for a while, nothing but contented hums occasional small whispers. 

It was Draco that broke it this time, “So, what do we do now?” 

Harry shrugged, slightly jostling Draco’s head, “What do you want to do?” 

Draco lifted his head to look at Harry with a mischievous glint in his eyes, leaning in, “I can think of a few things.”

The raven-haired boy smirked, “Oh, really?” 

Draco didn’t respond, just grabbed Harry’s face and kissed him, and it was everything he could have hoped for. It was nothing like Cho or that brief amount of time he spent with Ginny after the war. It felt electric, like joy-filled sparks traveling up and down his skin. He wrapped his arms around Draco’s waist as the blonde melted into him, the both of them smiling into every kiss. 

And they lived happily ever after…probably.