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I.
She’s six years old and it’s the first Mother’s Day that she really remembers. Things had been so crazy the past few years, with her little sister Alice being born when she was three and then the unexpected arrival of the twins. MacKenzie had been feeling a little left out, to be honest. Her younger sisters demanded more attention from her mother than she did and she was slightly jealous. Although little MacKenzie was a daddy’s girl she missed her mummy. She had managed to make her an extra special card at school for mother’s day.
It’s still early, when she wakes up that Sunday and the house is quiet, but Mac knows her mother will be awake giving the babies their breakfast.
She finds her mother just as she comes out of the babies’ room.
“Mummy?” she whispers and she sees her mother jump back slightly.
“Mackie?” Anne McHale answers startled by her oldest daughters presence “Good heavens darling, you frightened me. What are you doing up so early?”
MacKenzie moves closer to her mother and holds her hand out to her, giving her the card she had made. “It’s mummy’s day, so I made this for you”
Her mother takes the card and puts her hand over her heart. “Oh my darling girl, this is just lovely” her mum exclaims reading it over and then pulling little MacKenzie into a hug. She leans down so that she is eye level with her. “I know it’s been tough the past few months with the new babies, but I want you to know that you will always be my baby and I love you very much”
Her mother pulls her into a tight hug, which MacKenzie returns with just as much strength. It’s a relief for her little heart and it feels good to be in her mummy’s arms again.
“I love you too, mummy. Happy mum’s day”
II.
The first Mother’s Day she spends with Will happens when they have been dating for just under a year. She’s not able to get back to London for the occasion because of work so she spends the day with him, cuddled up in his bed for the whole day, sharing stories and intimacies.
She realises, (somewhat belatedly) after speaking to her mother on the phone that Will has never really spoken about his mother. MacKenzie knew that his mother had died a few years ago but he had never really spoken about her. She really didn’t know much about his family other than knowing he had three siblings and that he was the oldest.
“Would you tell me about your mother, if you don’t mind?” she had asked in a soft voice as they lay cuddled up in one another on the couch. When she felt him tense up slightly against her and she wondered if she shouldn’t have asked, but within the very next second he relaxes.
He asks her what she would like to know. She says anything and he then proceeds to tell her everything. He tells her about how much he loved his mother. About her kind blue eyes, just like his own, about how much she loved her children and about how she taught him to be gentle and compassionate. Will also tells her how his father hurt them and how his greatest fear was becoming just like him.
After that she takes him into her arms and cries for him (for his mothers and siblings too). It’s a new step in their relationship and she has no doubt then that this is the man that she wants to spend her life with.
And before he joins her in bed that night, Mac sees him go out onto the balcony, look up to the sky and whisper Happy Mother’s Day, mom.
III.
It’s been almost two years since she had seen or talked to him. She’s somewhere in the Middle East on that particular Sunday, when she is reminded by some of the Marines that its Mother’s Day. MacKenzie thinks that she should really call her mother and just let her know that she’s okay.
Watching the younger guys Skype with their respective families and speaking to her own mum, makes her think of Will for some reason. She remembers how years ago on this day, he entrusted his heart to her by telling her about his family. She broke that trust and along with it her own heart, and dreams for the future.
Sometimes, when the night is still and the stars are out, she can see that blue-eyed little boy she had dreamt of so clearly in her mind. She can see the newsroom and the control room with Will’s smiling face up on the monitors and her voice in his ear. She can see it all; the life she could have had if she hadn’t’ been so stupid.
MacKenzie doesn’t let it go though. She holds onto her dreams of that blue-eyed little boy and her in the control room again. It’s all that’s keeping her sane, keeping her alive.
And just like she had seen him do years ago she looks up to the sky and whispers happy Mother’s Day.
IV.
Her husband has barely been in jail for a week when Mother’s Day rolls around. She is still getting used to how quiet and empty the apartment is without him there. They had only been back together for about six months, and yet she can’t remember what it feels like to be without him. MacKenzie really doesn’t know how she survived for six years without him.
She almost laughs then as she thinks back to the time when she thought about him while in the Middle East. She was alone then too. Of course it’s different now because they’re married, and it’s for the rest of their lives but sitting alone in their unfinished apartment makes her remember when this was just a dream, a hope. When being married to will seemed like a shattered vision.
Mac calls her family in London, (who were still reeling from their cancelled nuptials and news of a courthouse wedding), who ask her in soft tones how she is doing and if she needs them to come down and be with her during this time but she assures them that she is fine. When her mother gets her on the phone though, she feels her facade begin to crumble and she feels like a small child again, scared and unsure and all she needs is her mum to say that it will be okay. Even thousands of miles away, her mother’s voice calms her with a simple It’ll be alright, Mackie. I love you.
After the phone call she wipes her tears and pulls herself up from the floor. She picks up the paint swatches and heads for the guest bedroom; determined to finally settle on the colour of the wall.
She finds out later though, that she was never really alone. A piece of her and Will was already forming inside of her.
V.
She sneaks out of the bed early in the morning, careful not to wake her sleeping husband. She creeps down the hall and into the pale green room. The rooms’ occupant is still in dream land, small chest rising and falling with his breaths.
As she peers over into the crib, her breath catches. She still can’t believe that her and Will made something so perfect. And on a day like today she’s even more thankful. She could never have imagined coming into the newsroom four years ago that this would be the eventual outcome. Yes, she had hoped that one day he would forgive her and they could start again, but Will was so angry. The best she could have hoped for was friendship. Now she’s so happy she doesn’t know how to even put it into words. Her life is full and it’s a stark contrast to how she spent this day last year on the floor of their unfinished apartment, worrying about her husband who had just been put in jail. No, this year is very much different.
She has to resist the urge to pick him up and wake him. Sometimes with her job, it feels like she doesn’t spend enough time with him and he’s growing so fast. At almost four months old, he changes every day and now that she’s back from maternity leave full time, she fears that she will miss something.
She hears the door click open behind her.
“Mac?” Will calls out softly as he walks into the room, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He comes to stand behind her, wrapping a hand around her waist and planting a kiss on the back of her neck. “I was wondering where you had snuck off to”
She cranes her neck slightly to look up at him. She loves him like this: blonde hair mussed voice still gravely from sleep and in one of his oldest t-shirts. He wasn’t the perfectly put together TV anchor; he was just Will, her husband.
“I snuck in just to see him while he sleeps. He’s getting so big” MacKenzie says shifting her eyes back down to her sleeping boy.
She feels Will nod against her neck and then he turns her in his arms suddenly. She’s met with his smiling face. “Happy Mother’s Day, MacKenzie” he gives her a sweet kiss on the lips.
Mac giggles against his lips. “Thank you”
Will turns serious. “Thank you for our son. I don’t think he could have asked for a better mother” he says looking right at her with a soft smile on his lips. She can feel herself blushing slightly. “Now I’ve got the best day planned for you”
“Oh really?” she says playfully lifting an eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah, but it starts with breakfast in bed so I need you to get your butt back into bed” Will says steering her away from their sleeping son and towards the door. “I’ll bring Ben to you as soon as he’s awake. You don’t worry about anything”
Mac smiles, allowing him to guide her from the nursery. “How did I get so lucky?”
“It’s me who’s the lucky one” Will says with a kiss and she thinks that maybe they’re both the lucky ones.
VI.
Will wipes off his hands then takes a minute to survey the scene. The table was set with four places. All her favourite foods were set out and the flowers he had brought yesterday were adorning the setting too. He smiles to himself, happy with their accomplishment. It looked pretty good in his opinion.
He sees his eighteen month old daughter lift herself up onto one of the chairs at the table. She stands on the chair and leans over, managing to grasp one of the roses from the bouquet in the middle of the table. The little girl surveys the flower in her hand for a moment before ripping a handful of the red petals off and lifting them towards her mouth.
Will sighs. She was just like her mother, always doing things without any regard for the consequences. “Freeze, Stephanie” Will says coming around to where she was currently standing on a chair before she could shove the flower petals into her mouth. “Don’t eat that. What have mommy and daddy told you about climbing on the tables and chairs?” He asks taking the flower from her hands and scooping her up. “You could have gotten hurt”
To her credit, the little girl does look a little guilty. Only a little though and Will can see her already planning how not to get caught next time. Stephanie hugs him around the neck, “Sorry, daddy”
He really can’t help the smile that comes over his face as her little arms squeeze him around the neck. She looked too much like her mother for her own good. If he thought that MacKenzie McHale owned him, he could never have imagined how much two smaller versions of him and her in one person would just completely overcome him. He gives her a kiss on the check and hugs her back.
“Now, daddy?” His five year old son says rushing into the kitchen, with bare feet and still in his Spiderman pyjamas.
“Yeah, buddy. We can go wake mommy up now.”
The little boy cheers (which causes his sister to cheer) and the three of them make their way out of the kitchen and to the stairs of their townhouse. Benjamin runs ahead of his father and sister, and is already up the first few stairs when Will reminds him to keep one hand on the banister.
Stephanie squirms in his arms as they start to climb the stairs. “Down daddy. Baby walk”
He chuckles at her bossiness but sets her down anyway. Anything her brother does, she also wants to do. He makes sure that one of her hands ifs holding onto the banister and the other is held firmly in his hand as they make their way slowly up the stairs.
When they make it to the first floor landing; where the master bedroom is located; Ben gasps.
“What?” Will says in a slightly panicked voice, giving his son a quick once over to make sure that he hadn’t suddenly severely injured himself and was moments from death.
“I forgot Mommy’s card in my room!” Ben exclaims and Will lets out the breath he had been holding. He’s learnt in his few years of being a father that little kids can be very dramatic, but his son even more so. Benjamin was a perfectionist like him and dramatic like his mother. A dangerous combination.
“You can go get it, we’ll wait for you here” Will says and the little boy dashes up to his room.
Stephanie just looks up at her daddy confused. “Where Benny ?” she asks throwing her arms our in question.
“He’ll be back” Will says leaning down and tucking some hair behind her ears. Stephanie loved her brother, and always wanted to be where he was.
When Ben gets back the trio make their way into the master bedroom. As soon as the door opens both kids speed towards the bed, with Ben pulling himself up onto the bed, then leaning down to help his sister who was toddling behind. Will comes behind and helps Ben. Once both kids are on the bed they crawl up to where their mother was currently buried under the covers.
Ben pulls the sheet away and exclaims “Wake up, Mommy! Its mommy’s day!” and proceeds to kiss her cheeks repeatedly to get her up. Stephanie tries to repeat her brothers words but can’t keep up so just ends up planting herself on Mac’s stomach.
MacKenzie comes to consciousness with a laugh. “What’s all this?” She asks pulling both her babies up to cuddle her sides.
“Happy Mother’s Day, mommy!” Ben exclaims from where he’s tucked into her side. Stephanie claps her hands. He hands her the card and she reads it then gives them both kisses.
Will chuckles at the scene and sits on the king size bed, leaning against the headboard looking down at his family. He’s reminded of his own childhood, and how Mother’s Day was never like this. Will and his siblings couldn’t afford to buy their mother gifts let alone cook her a lavish breakfast. His father didn’t believe in celebrating such things, anyway. Though Will always made sure that he made her a card and gave it to her secretly (and when he got his first pay check as a lawyer, he went all out. She deserved it). Now as he watches his own family on this day, he sees how blessed he truly was.
His own gift to MacKenzie (that he gave her that morning before worshiping her body) sparkles from around her neck. And she had told him that it was too much (as she always did when he gave her extravagant gifts) but he always disagreed. It would never be enough. Not for his wife; the mother of his children; the love of his life. Nothing he gave her would ever measure up to all the she had given him.
Looking down at her, with the children they created as they celebrated Mother’s Day, he knew he would forever be in her debt.
Thank you would never be enough. “Happy Mother’s Day, MacKenzie. I love you”