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Published:
2022-05-19
Updated:
2022-07-05
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3/?
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No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Summary:

Modern Philoise AU | No good deed goes unpunished—Mister Phillip Crane will soon learn this. After carrying a mud covered girl with a sprained ankle back to her cottage, he becomes entangled in the tornado that is Eloise Bridgerton’s life.

Notes:

Disclaimer: First, I haven’t read all of the Bridgerton books. I have read books 1-3, 5, and parts of 6 and 7. I tried to keep the characters as accurate as possible. Second, I am not British, so I am sorry for any inaccuracies.

Trigger Warning: This story does contain depictions of physical and verbal abuse.

Chapter Text

One more year.

That’s all Phillip had to suffer.

Just one more year under his father’s roof and he could be off to Uni. He didn’t care where he went just as long as he was gone.

He just had to survive for that long.

Easier said than done. His stinging back was a testament to that fact. But since his father had expelled his wrath that morning, it would give Phillip an excuse to stay out of the house for a while before he found that a reason to lash out.

Phillip had tried to seek comfort in the wild forests near Romney Hall but it felt too close to home. Too claustrophobic.

So, he packed his bag for the afternoon and drove to another part of the countryside.

He had read on a forum that there were sightings of a strange species of plant growing so he wanted to look for himself.

This land technically belonged to someone but the owners had never cared when botanists or wildlife conservationists explored the property. The owner lived in a collage with a peculiar name that Phillip couldn’t remember. And he had never quite worked up the courage to actually speak to the owners.

It was now midday and Phillip crested a particularly steep hill. He closed his eyes and slowly breathed in the fresh air.

For a moment he could ignore the sting and just be at—

AHHHHHHH!

Phillip’s eyes snapped open. His head darted back and forth but he didn’t see the source of the scream on his hill.

“Benedict!”

Phillip’s eyes snapped to the direction of the call. That was a girl’s voice. He slowly made his way down the hill. Partially out of caution for the terrarium but also due to warriness of what he was walking into.

“Ugh! Benedict!!” The woman’s call was louder. “Sophie!!”

Phillip slowly made his way closer to the voice. A short distance away from him he could see a wooden fence and beyond that was a girl probably about Phillip’s age—though it was hard to tell because of all the mud.

She sat at the base of a large hill that she more than likely tumbled down and was now covered in mud. He could just make out her chestnut brown hair but the color of dress was absolutely lost.

Phillip watched through the bushes—in a very not creepy way—as she attempted to stand but slid back onto her bottom and let out a moan of pain.

“Benedict!! Mama!!” She called again, this time her voice was tinged with panic. “I need help!!”

Phillip waited for a sign that someone had heard her but the forest was eerily silent.

He let out a soft sigh and moved enough to get her attention.

Bright blue eyes snapped to his direction. “Hello? Is…is someone there?”

He came out of the shrubs and, curiously, she relaxed at the sight of him. Phillip was rather big for his age and tended to intimidate most grown men. Let alone women.

“Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were an animal or something.” She said as Phillip made his way to the fence dividing them.

“Are…you alright?”

Stupid question.

And the look she gave him said she thought about as much. “Oh yes, quite alright. You see, I decided to take a mud bath. The very natural kind. Care to join me?”

Phillip shook his head as he carefully made her way towards her.

“Your loss then.” She said as she shifted. “I can’t get my foot out of the mud and I might have twisted it on my way down.”

“How much does it hurt?” He asked as scrapped at the mud. Her boot of undeterminable color was half-submerged.

She hissed softly. “Not…much.”

“Really?” He glanced at her.

“…A lot…”

“Does it hurt here?” He asked, touching the top part of her boot that was closer to her calf.

“Not, it’s my ankle.”

“Alright, I think I can get it out but it will probably hurt.”

She sucked in a breath and nodded.

He did it quickly, she let out a high pitched squeak that trailed off into a moan of pain.

But her foot was free.

He looked at her. Her face scrunched up in pain as she shifted into a better sitting position. “Ow…” She moaned.

She couldn’t walk like this.

“How far away is your home?”

She glanced behind her at the top of the hill and then back at him. “That trail leads to My Cottage, it’s a fifteen minute walk…” She glanced down at her muddied self.

There was no way he could leave her sitting out here for thirty minutes just to try to find someone to help her.

“Put your arm around my neck.” He said shifting to her bad side. She did as instructed and Phillip tried to help her stand on her good foot—

“Ow—ow—OW!” She cried as she fell into him, wrapping both arms around his neck. “Set me down—set me down!”

He did and back into the mud she went. She hissed and blinked rapidly. “It hurts too much.”

Phillip gathered that.

He glanced back at her. “Alright. Then I’ll carry you.”

She nodded but looked about as awkward about the prospect as he felt. She raised her arms but hesitated. “Should I…?” She forced a smile. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t ever been carried through a forest before. I don’t know the proper etiquette.”

He grunted and she put muddy arms around him. He placed one arm at the small of her back and the other under her knees. And then he lifted her up. She squeaked and squeezed him tightly. He waited for her to demand she be set down again but didn’t say anything.

“Does it hurt?” He asked.

“It’s bearable.” She breathed and looked up at him.

Phillip tried to forget that he was carrying a girl bridal style and examined the hill.

“Right.” She breathed. “Just up this hill.”

He grunted and started up. He took extra care to make sure he went up the hill safely and breathed out when they got back on the path. She informed him which way and then they were off.

“I think we’ve been through enough together that we should at least exchange names.” She said. “I’m Eloise.”

“Phillip.”

She paused for a moment as if expecting something more. “Well, you’re probably wondering what I was doing there.”

“I thought it was the mud bath.”

“Oh ha, ha. No. I was actually flying my brother’s drone and I flew it too out range. I was trying to get to it but slipped.”

He grunted.

She paused.

“And what were you doing out here?”

“Studying.”

“Studying what?”

“Plants.”

“Oh.” She tilted her head to one side. “Are you a botanist, then?”

“I’d like to be.”

“Oh.” She paused for a moment. “Not to be rude but are you always this quiet?”

He smirked and before he could stop himself retorted, “Perhaps I’m merely struggling under the weight—”

She gasped, “Excuse me! I am not that heavy.”

He snorted to stifle a laugh. He doubted it would feel very pleasant if he laughed in this position. “I believe I get one joke.”

“Oh? Why is that?” Had she been able to, he was pretty sure her hands would be on her hips.

“My good shirt will take days to recover from this experience.”

“Well, I ruined my favorite dress so we’re even.”

He glanced at her and he was amazed she said with a straight face. “Oh? That’s how this works?”

“Yes.” She paused. “I am sorry about the shirt. I could—”

He shook his head. “It’s fine.”

She looked at him with large blue eyes. “I don’t believe I’ve thanked you for this. So, thank you. This was incredibly kind of you, Phillip.”

He grunted, always unsure of how to take compliments. “So, why were you flying a drone?” And where was it for that matter?

“Well,” she perked up at being prompted to speak. “I have this project for my Media Studies course and I thought it would be clever to take some footage with the drone.” Eloise scrunched up her nose. “Ugh…Greggory is never going to let this go.” However she quickly moved on. “You said you wanted to be a botanist, correct? So, you’re still in school?”

He nodded.

“So am I! I plan on going to Uni with my best friend, Penelope. We’re not sure what we want to study but it’s going to be amazing. Do you know where you want to go?”

He shrugged. “Not really.”

“Well, you have time to figure that out.” She said, though there was a twinge of uncertainty in her voice. Perhaps she had her own worries about the future.

“Right.” He said, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“A brother.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “And you?”

“Seven.”

He blinked. “Really?”

“Yes. Four brothers. Three sisters.” She opened her mouth to say something but stopped.

Huh. That was strange.

“Must be…interesting.”

“Certainly one way to put it.”

Phillip snorted and on the path he saw a sign.

MY COTTAGE

Huh. So, these were the property owners. “Is this it?”

“Yes, we should be close.” She said, adjusting in his arms. “Terribly clever name, isn’t it?”

“I suppose.”

“My brother Benedict and his wife—”

“Eloise?!”

Phillip stopped short. An older woman stood up from the outside seating area. She was with a man with Eloise’s chestnut brown hair and a blonde woman.

“Eloise, what in the world happened?” The woman hurried over to them and waved her hands frantically.

“I may have taken a tumble, mother.” Eloise said, trying to chuckle.

“Benedict—” but the young man was already coming towards them. “Oh, Benedict, go and help your sister sit down.”

“I’ll prepare a bath.” The blonde woman said, moving into the cottage.

The man gestured for Phillip to set Eloise down at the outside seating. “What happened, El?”

“I lost Greggory’s drone and—ow!” She complained. “Hurt my ankle.”

“Let’s get that boot off.” Benedict said as he crouched down to tend to her.

~

Eloise Bridgerton’s day could have gone better.

That was putting it mildly.

All she wanted to do was get a few drone shots of My Cottage’s forest but no.

Instead, her favorite dress was ruined and Benedict was currently cutting off her right boot because her ankle had swelled so much.

Now her mother hovered over them like Eloise was on her deathbed. “Are you certain I do not need to call an ambulance?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary, mother.” Benedict said. Eloise could tell he was trying to be gentle but it still bloody well hurt.

“Or maybe I should call the driver to take her to hospital. I think that might be quicker and—”

“It’s a nasty sprain but it doesn’t look broken.” Benedict tried to sooth.

Violet still looked like she wanted to call every doctor in Europe to the property.

“What’s going on?” Francesca poked her head out the front door.

“I fell.” Eloise said. She was really going to have to tell this story eight separate times for her entire family.

Francesca came over and examined her swelling ankle. “Looks pretty bad. How did you manage to get back?”

“Phillip carried—” she looked over and blinked. “Where did Phillip go??”

Benedict and Violet both looked at where the young man had been there just moments ago. How in the world did that beast of a boy manage to sneak away? He was rather quiet but he couldn’t have been that quiet.

Violet moved towards the path but shook her head. “Once you’re feeling better we’ll go over and thank him properly.”

Eloise stayed silent.

Eloise .” Violet put her hands on her hips.

“You didn’t get the address of the man who carried you home?” Benedict asked, sounding more faux offended than Violet actually looked.

Franscesa’s eyes went wide and she mouthed carried you?

“I didn’t expect him to just disappear!” Eloise said.

“Did you at least get his surname?” Violet asked.

“…No.”

Eloise .”

“I was a bit busy for pleasantries, mama!”

Violet glanced at her daughter’s ankle and pressed her fingers to her lips. Eloise couldn’t tell if her mother was pondering whether it would be worth calling a fire brigade to My Cottage as well or if she was disappointed a potential husband slipped out of her grasp.

Eloise shuddered at either of those options.

“Regardless,” Violet finally settled the thought. “Benedict, please help your sister inside. I’m sure we’ll find this Phillip afterwards.”

~

Once Eloise was in the care of her family, Phillip didn’t see much use in him sticking around. He tried to say goodbye but he was interrupted by Benedict’s questions, Eloise’s complaining, and Eloise’s mother’s worrying.

So, he had quietly slipped away.

Along the way, he kept an eye out for the drone but didn’t see it.

He weighed whether he should look for it or not but it was getting late. Also, he’d prefer to be in clean clothes.

“Phillip, what happened to you?” Phillip looked up from taking off his boots at the backdoor. George stood in the doorway.

Phillip looked down. He was almost as dirty as Eloise had been. “Um…” How did he explain what had happened?

“Just don’t let—”

Thump Thump Thump .

Phillip and George froze.

“Boys.”

ThumpThumpThump .

Phillip glanced at the back door but it was too late to slip out.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

“What is this?”

The words cut through Phillip. He looked down at his mud covered boots. His tongue felt heavy.

“Well?” Phillip saw dark shoes stand in front of him. The dark wood cane cracked against the floorboards and Phillip tried to not flinch. “Answer me, boy.”

“I was out.” His voice cracked. “I found a girl. She needed help—”

“So you thought it best to roll around in the mud?”

“I—”

CRACK!

Phillip gasped at the pain in his right shoulder but no other move.

“Clean up and stay out of my sight for the rest of the day.”

“Yes, sir.”

Thump. Thump. Thump .

The room was silent.

“A package arrived for you, today, Phillip.”

Phillip looked up at his brother who tried to smile.

“It was heavy so it’s probably more books. Clean up and you can get through them tonight.”

Phillip nodded.

He would miss his brother when he left for Uni. But he would visit.

When his father was dead.

~

They did not end up finding this mysterious Phillip. Once Eloise was settled and a doctor was called just to make sure it was nothing more than a sprain, Violet Bridgerton had made it her mission to find this Phillip.

Whether it was purely for politeness and genuine gratitude or something more nefarious—at least nefarious for Violet Bridgerton—they couldn’t find this man.

It was as if this Phillip had never existed. He didn’t appear to have any social media presence. The locals didn’t know anyone by the description.

Eloise even spent her time in bed looking through forms. Unfortunately there were no tweets or reddit threads about a boy randomly coming across a girl in the mud.

And that truly bothered Eloise.

Not that he didn’t appear to have any social media life. To each their own. However, she wanted to at least properly thank him. Phillip could have just as easily quietly snuck away to leave Eloise to whatever fate she would suffer. But he had gone out of his way to help her.

He didn’t even know that she was a Bridgerton. The little sister to the Duchess of Hasting and a Viscount. He had just…helped her.

Eloise sighed as she opened her laptop and decided to do some stress shopping. As she looked for recommendations for books, the spies collecting her data clearly thought she had a sudden interest in botany. Probably due the fact she had spent some time looking at forums to see if maybe Phillip had an obvious username.

Maybe “PhillipthePlantDaddy” or “ICarriedAMudGirl” or something.

But no.

She tried to move past it but some of the titles looked interesting.

Well, if Violet managed to track down this guy maybe she could at least have something to talk to him about. He was not the talkative type but maybe if she knew a little bit more, it would help.