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His room was on fire. His house was on fire. His brothers were screaming. His mother was gone. His father was laughing, watching them try to escape their burning childhood home. Everything was on fire. Touya was also on fire. His skin was melting. When he tried to bring his hand up to see how it looked, he found that he couldn’t. He couldn’t move at all. Oh the irony of being frozen in place when your whole world was burning.
“Touya!” Shoto screamed. At least, Touya thought so. It sounded like Shoto’s voice even if his mouth hadn’t moved when the words had echoed all over the burning building. How could a voice even echo there? No voice had ever created an echo before.
“Touya!” This time it had been Keigo’s scream. The shock of it finally pushed Touya free and he stumbled a few steps across the empty living room trying to see him. Wait, why was the living room empty? The flames were still there but Shoto and Natsuo were gone. Had they left him behind? Did they not care? And why was Keigo here? How could he be here when he didn’t even know where Touya’s childhood home had been? It didn’t make sense. It was all weird. It was wrong.
“Touya,” Keigo’s voice resonated again. Touya shuddered and whimpered. “You’re a nightmare.” Touya felt like crying, that hurt. Why was Keigo suddenly so mean to him? Did he not care? Was he like Natsuo and Shoto, about to leave him behind in the ruins and ashes of his childhood?
He looked around until he finally caught sight of Keigo. He was sitting down, looking at him with wide eyes and concern written on every inch of his face. One of his hands was hovering awkwardly, extended towards Touya but not touching him.
Then Touya took in the slowly spinning fan above his head, the frame hanging over the dresser with the picture taken during his wedding with Keigo. He looked down at the blue sheets and the red and orange comforter. There was nothing on fire.
He was just in his bed, in his bedroom, in his house. Everything was fine.
That’s when he broke down in tears, sobs wrecking his throat and his lungs constricting, trying to get air both in and out at the same time. He felt the two hands on his arms, making their way slowly around him, touching but never grabbing, comforting but not confining. Once Keigo had his arms fully around him, he pulled him gently in, until Touya could tuck his head in his neck. Keigo merely made soothing noises while swaying them slowly.
A minute passed. Or maybe an hour. Or an eternity. It didn’t matter. Touya was loved, and cradled and precious, and Keigo loved him and he was still here, perfectly fine and unharmed.
“Do you need anything?” Keigo whispered against the top of his head. Touya shook his head a little, just enough for Keigo to feel the motion.
“Did you dream of the fire again?” Touya tensed. “Shh, it’s alright. You must have been scared. Reliving again the fear of your brothers being hurt. It’s alright. We have all the time in the world, hm?” He murmured, one hand stroking his back. “Once you feel up to it, we’ll call Natsuo and Shoto, yeah? Check on them, make sure they’re alright.”
The first thought that hit Touya once he got out of his daze was how bad Keigo’s back must have been hurting right then. As Touya was still laying down while Keigo was bent over him, still sitting, trying his best to wrap him in a hug. Touya pushed himself up, taking Keigo with him and letting only the smallest distance between them. Touya put his own arms around Keigo and stroked his back in turn. Touya laid his head down on Keigo’s shoulder, facing his neck.
A few minutes passed, the silence in the bedroom only broken by the clock on the wall and some cars driving down the street. Touya already felt miles better than when he woke up. Still, there was this pit of worry he couldn’t seem to shut. The only thing on his mind was his brothers. Were they okay? Were they hurt? Where were they? What if something had happened and Touya hadn’t been there to protect them?
A finger was pressed in his ear causing him to flinch. “Don’t get lost in your head.” Keigo said lightly.
Touya rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the fond smile that came with it. Keigo let go of him and started leaning back. Touya let him, and watched him as he left the room. He didn’t need to see him to follow him through their house anyway. He could do that just fine simply by listening. Listening to the footsteps all the way to the kitchen, the fridge being opened and closed, the footsteps getting closer again, a break, then again. And Keigo appeared at the entrance of their room. He all but skipped to the bed and dropped down on it. He threw his phone in Touya’s lap and handed him a glass of cold water.
“Couldn’t find yours so use mine. And well, I figured you were hot.”
“I’m always hot.” Touya deadpanned and finally, finally the last trace of worry left Keigo’s face as he smiled his brightest toothy smile. By the Gods, Touya loved him. “Thank you,” he said as he unlocked Keigo’s phone and went to search for Shoto in his contacts. He hit the call button with almost no hesitation. It was two in the morning after all. But they had all made a promise to each other, always call or ask when you needed help or support. So Touya didn’t feel guilty at the idea of waking his youngest brother at two in the morning on a tuesday.
“Yeah?” came another voice than Shoto’s after only two rings.
“Natsuo?” Touya asked, the apprehension choking him. “Why-” His voice broke. “Is Shoto okay?”
“What? Yeah? Oh no, yeah, he’s totally fine. Sorry, we’re having a Smash tournament, we’re both fine, don’t worry.”
“Oh. Good.” Touya exhaled. The adrenaline was still flowing through his veins, though. He was going to have a heart attack before he reached his thirties.
“Bad dream?” Natsuo asked.
“Hm, yeah.” Touya shrugged. “I’ll let you go back to your game.”
“Are you-” Natsuo cut himself off. “Yeah, okay. Thanks for calling. Love you.” Touya heard Shoto’s voice from afar, also screaming “I love you”.
“I love you both. Take care, don’t go to bed too late, uh?”
“Ugh, okay mom .”
Touya huffed a laugh but didn’t dignify this with an answer, He merely hung up.
“Are they okay?” Keigo pushed the water in his chest.
Touya took the water and drank it in two big gulps. He dropped the glass on the floor on his side of the bed and laid back down, grabbing Keigo’s wrist on the way and pulling him down. They laid on their sides, facing each other, holding each other’s hands and wrists. They stared at each other, taking all their time to map the other’s face and commit it to memory, engraving it in their brains as if it hadn’t been done for years. During this kind of soft and out of time moment, Keigo usually blurts out something. This once, for a change, Touya did.
“Sometimes I think,” Keigo snorted so Touya put a finger on his lips to prevent him from talking and ruining the moment. “Sometimes I think I need a spare heart to feel all the things I feel.” That washed all the humour from Keigo’s eyes.
“What? Well, I mean, have you mentioned that to your therapist?”
Touya frowned, confused, before comprehension dawned on him. “No, I mean- I mean yes I feel that about the fire and my father and all, but- What I meant was, I feel that with you. Because I just love you so much? Too much? I don’t even know what to do with what i feel for you, how to express it, how to make you understand? Is it love or adoration or devotion? You know? You’re just so good to me, all the time, whether I’m okay or fucked up or- You’re always so.. You. Gods, I do love you, so so much.”
Keigo grabbed him and pulled Touya to him, encircling him with his arms and peppering kisses on his face.
“I love you too.” Keigo looked down to stare into Touya’s eyes. “If you need another heart, please remember I have one, and it’s yours too.”