Work Text:
Waking up in a cold sweat at some time around two in the morning, Kou was terrified. This was not the first time. He had just dreamt about the severance again. The severance from last week. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Mitsuba. Mitsuba, Mitsuba, Mitsuba. He needed to hear from him. He needed to see him. He felt like they spent too much time stalling and walking around each other, not exposing their true feelings to each other. Too much pointless chatter and insulting, not enough important conversations. Of course, Kou enjoyed any time he spent with Mitsuba, but he wanted something more. He felt as if neither of them could reveal what they felt to each other. He wanted to tell Mitsuba everything. He really, really, wanted to. He wanted to ask Mitsuba if he did too. But now, Mitsuba is gone. For the third time.
Kou didn’t want to go to school. He didn’t want to go anywhere. He just wanted to see Mitsuba. Truthfully, he wanted both of them to finally have a break. Kou was constantly worried about somebody, that somebody being Mitsuba, Nene, Hanako-kun, his family, etc. He didn’t have time to worry about himself. As for Mitsuba, well, this was the third time he had died. Did it even count as death anymore? He didn’t want Mitsuba to suffer for any longer. He hadn’t seen him since the severance, and didn’t just wonder what he was up to. He needed to know what he was up to.
He wanted to see his smile again. His stupid haircut. He loved the way he smiled and his eyes lit up when he found what he wanted to take a picture of. He couldn’t bear the weight of his death any longer. He couldn’t bear the weight of anything anymore. So he decided he would take the final jump to understanding Mitsuba wholly.
One week after the severance, Kou Minamoto killed himself.