Work Text:
you two have a fight.
his words hurt, of course.
you want to leave but don’t know how.
you start crying and make him crumble but he doesn’t give in.
he’s stubborn af and you know it. you knew it. you’ve always known it.
you go to your shared bedroom and he assumes that you’re going to sleep, asking when you showered because he doesn’t remember.
carrying your pillow and quilt, you walk out of the bedroom and towards the couch.
he asks what you’re doing and you refuse to respond.
you just don’t want to sleep with this man who literally just shattered you a few moments ago. you don’t want to feel his presence.
you try to spread your quilt and place your pillow on the couch but he keeps asking you why you’re here and eventually touches your hands to stop you.
he says he wants to sleep with you, in the purest sense possible.
he says he doesn’t want to lose you this way.
he says he can’t handle sleeping alone on your shared bed knowing that he’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the couch.
he even uses the gentleman card saying that if you really don’t want to sleep with him, he should be the one who’s sleeping on the couch, not you.
but you still refuse to say anything or look at him. you avoid his gaze.
then he, being that stubborn ass boy, takes his own pillows and quilt out of the bedroom and lays them out on another couch beside the one you plan to sleep on.
seeing that you can’t really escape, you gather your stuff and storm into your shared bedroom.
you climb into bed, hugging yourself, sleeping as close to the edge of the bed on the opposite end of the entrance of the room.
//
later you feel the other side of bed sinking. slowly, frighteningly slowly.
you try to pretend that you’re asleep.
“babe,” he whispers, “i’m sorry.”
“i didn’t know that we would end up like this, fuck, i honestly don’t know how to fall asleep when we’re so distant.”
a long pause. you even think that he has fallen asleep until he croaks,
“how deeply did i hurt you? can i still treat your wounds?”
you couldn’t help but tug your sheets more tightly towards yourself.
of course he doesn’t miss the light sobs coming from your side.
“babe, i know i am stubborn as fuck but i want to be with you forever. i can’t survive one day without you knowing that i’m the reason you’re gone.”
slowly turning around to face him, you mumble, “maybe we should—”
a lump grows in your throat.
his swollen eyes bore into yours. waiting, expecting the worse.
“perhaps i should spend some time alone.”
he doesn’t move. doesn’t flinch. doesn’t react.
the world remains still until his tears drop from his eyes. crystal bright, but boiling with emotions.
trying to cup your face, he begs, “babe please i—”
you don’t let him finish. you can’t handle that.
you just want to leave in peace and be happy for once.
“you don’t know how much pain i’m feeling,” you sharply exhale, “but you won’t need to.”
//
when you are packing your suitcases, he tries to help you pack your things but can’t bring himself to do it.
he can’t possibly help to push you away from him.
he can’t possibly want you to leave.
but he can’t possibly still get to make you stay.
so he remains silent, scrutinizing your every move. carving your delicate face into his memory, remembering the butterflies those slender fingers of yours have given to him.
hours later when you walk to the door, he follows you.
you panic for a moment. you don’t expect him to follow you. but he stands behind you, trapping you between his tall body and the wooden door.
“send me an owl?” he whispers.
honestly, you want to say something. do something. hug him. feel his warmth. even if it’s for the last time.
while you desperately hope that it’s not.
you don’t answer him. you turn around and flash him a small, vulnerable smile.
he shudders, holding onto the wall.
that smile of yours again. the smile that does things to him.
a thousand pleads race through his mind but all he can say when you open the door and step out of your shared apartment is, “i love you.”
//
and so you have left.
left your shared apartment.
left your shared lives.
left him.
you’ve found yourself a job in a local bookstore in this new city you’ve traveled to. every morning the maple leaves remind you that your life is still beautiful, you will still find hope, and you will still find love.
the stability shatters one day when you receive a letter.
hey,
how are you doing? are you taking care of yourself? is everything alright?
sorry if this feels like i’ve been spying on you. i haven’t. okay maybe i have. i tried to ask for your new address and after a few months of loneliness and brokenness and pure sadness, i’ve found you again.
i miss you.
i’m sorry.
i’m so fucking sorry but i miss you way too fucking much.
have i changed? i’ve always loved you. the change is probably that i’ve learned my lesson now. i’m learning how to communicate. i’m learning how to suppress my ego. i’m learning how to be soft for you. i’m learning how to love you.
so please, let me love you.
i’m still at where we left off.
- draco
//
you hate to admit it but you can’t resist traveling back to your shared apartment again.
your hand hesitates before knocking.
you have no idea what you’re signing up for.
a broken man?
two broken hearts?
yet another fight?
he must have sensed your presence, because he tentatively opens the door.
clean, neat hair. clean, neat shirt. clean, neat pants.
you can only tell that he has been devastated when you look at his face.
swollen eyes, dark circles, and an even sharper jawline.
he has lost so much weight. it looks difficult the way he’s standing, breathing, mentally crushing you to his chest.
trying to be less awkward, you lightly smile, “nice outfit.”
his breaths come out as shallow and pained, “just trying to look nice for you.”
you involuntarily blush.
it’s insane, after months of being apart, this man who has broken you still sends you spiraling.
he shifts his body, silently inviting you to enter the apartment.
you hesitate, unsure of what to do.
hurt flashes across his cheeks.
as if you’re not planning to stay.
he leans on the side of the door, grabbing a fistful of shirt where his heart is. he closes his eyes, taking deep breaths.
inhale.
“tell me i’m not dreaming.”
exhale.
“i don’t deserve you.”
inhale.
“but you’re back.”
exhale.
“does this mean anything?”
inhale.
“may i love you?”
exhale.
“please, i, baby i don’t know what to do, i can’t—”
you remain silent the whole time.
partly because you’ve never seen such a beautiful sight.
a broken boy loving you with his life.
a shattered boy guarding his promise.
a sobbing boy asking for permission to love you.
and how could you say no?
you quickly walk up to him, burying yourself in his chest, patting his back in an attempt to slow down his shallow breaths.
“draco,” you murmur, “i’m back.”