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Once the glistering stars have finally revealed themselves to scintillate the midnight sky and the moon has laid hold of the beaming sun’s place it was unfortunately at that very moment your insecurities had peeked through the door. All of this began with a rather small and insignificant thought that had popped up in your mind earlier that day. However, it lingered there longer than it usually would which resulted into a sudden change of your joyous demeanor.
You felt it. You felt it so clear and well. The sudden weight of something invisible being dropped down on your frail shoulders. It was something so heavy yet so weightless, so significant yet so insignificant, so troublesome yet so simple. Such a weight was so many things at once that you couldn’t help but be exhausted from it.
Dull eyes were staring into an uncertain point in the distance as your arms were clenching your legs tightly. Thoughts were raging wildly in your mind as the said weight became denser every passing minute. Suddenly you heard the sound of two glass teacups being carefully put down onto the small coffee table next to you, making you call off from the mental flurry.
“What’s troubling you so much to the point of sadness, my love?” The amber-eyed man asked to you softly as he poured the hot liquid into the cups carefully, the sweet scent itself putting you at ease already.
“Nothing.” You lied – not to make your lover worried. “Chamomile?”
“You guessed right. It’s known for its calming effect.” Zhongli smiled fondly before he gently put the porcelain teapot down, feebly propelling the chair closer to you ere he took a seat. “However, I don’t think that ‘nothing’ is an honest answer in the situation. You look so troubled, my dear.”
A heavyhearted chuckle found a way past your lips before giving an answer to your lover’s curiosity. “Do you know that one myth where one was condemned to hold aloft the heavens as punishment? I feel like him right now. Everything is becoming so heavier on my shoulders all of sudden. It hurts… so much.”
“You mustn’t carry such a burden alone. Tell me all about it, let me help you carry it until it no longer troubles you.” He slowly reached out for both of your hands, delicately taking them in his gloved ones as he started to caress your cold knuckles.
Tears started to swell in your eyes upon hearing the words that left your lover’s lips, glossy eyes finally looking into Zhongli’s amber ones while you tried your best not to break down right then and there. “But that’s—” You inhaled sharply before continuing. “You probably have your own burdens as well. I don’t want to trouble you than you’re already troubled.”
“I’ve already discovered a way to handle them. Please don’t make that worry you.” In his own time, he pressed his soft lips against your chilly knuckles to warm them up while patiently waiting for his lover’s response. “You have listened to me countless times, now it is my turn to do the same.”
“Do you really want to listen?” Was the only thing you could murmur right before a faint sob filled the silence in the room you two were in.
“My love, we promised each other that we’d be together through thick and thin, no matter what. That promise applies to this situation as well. Please, let me help you.” The man pleaded, one of his hands left yours now to wipe the single tear away that had escaped.
“I— You’re right.” You sighed deeply before continuing, the hesitancy being perceptible in your trembling voice. “I’m so tired of feeling like an option to everyone. I was never someone’s first choice. I wasn’t even a choice. I’m an option. A substitute.”
Zhongli could do nothing but nod softly as his hands never departed from yours – on the contrary – his grip only tightened as a compassionate gaze was being clearly seen in his amber eyes.
You managed to carry on with your sentence between your hysterical sobs. “I’m just such a broken mess, Zhongli. Everything, every thought hurts.”
“I must say that I’m quite heartbroken that you view yourself in such way. I may not be fully able to change your view about yourself but allow me to tell you what I see. Come.” He gently patted his own lap to signify that you should sit at the indicated spot – which you gladly did. Once you were seated comfortably enough, Zhongli’s arms found their way around your body as they always did. “First of all, even though how forlorn this may sound, it is impossible to be everyone’s first choice. Every person has a certain view on you that plays a role in if they put you first or not. That view is something which you simply can’t change. However, I should let you know that you happen to be my so called ‘first choice’.”
A little ‘oh’ was the only thing you could murmur before Zhongli continued with his words. Hands resting in your own lap as your head was planted on his chest, slender fingers slowly caressing your (h/c) locks.
“You’re the first person that appears in my mind no matter the occasion, my love. It’s fine if that’s not the case with other people but being miserable over it is not worth the pains.” Tardily, the man leaned over towards the small table to grab one of the tea-filled cups, hovering it right in front of your lips. “Here. The taste is delightful when it’s still warm.”
You responded with a small ‘thank you’ before pressing your lips against the warm glass, your tongue immediately being met with a familiar sugary taste. Before you knew, Zhongli’s larger hands were on top of yours which provided some support for your trembling hands, his thumb caressing your knuckles once again.
“You’re like an elegant glaze lily in a field full of sweet flowers, dear. Very special, alluring, and one-of-a-kind if you ask me. You’re not ‘broken’. Like I said previously, I can’t change the way you view yourself, but I’d like you to remember that even the most broken things can be fixed.” Carefully, he pushed a few loose strands of hair behind your ear, soft fingertips brushing against your tear-stained cheeks. “Have you ever heard of the Inazumian technique called ‘Kintsugi’? It’s a form of art where broken ceramics get repaired with gold or silver lacquer. In the aesthetics of Inazuma, the traces of breakage and repair add to the beauty of an object.”
Meekly, you shifted closer towards the man to place your ear right on top of his heart. The rhythm of it pacifying you almost instantly as you listened to his smooth voice without interfering.
“Repairing you with lacquer is impossible of course—” he chuckled faintly prior to going on with his words “—but what I’d want you to bear in mind is that you’ll heal eventually and you’ll be better than you are right now.”
“I can’t thank you enough for your endless comfort and kindness, Li. I love you so much.” You whispered quietly as the tears returned to your eyes, that sweet voice of yours shattering once again.
Upon hearing your grateful words the man put his index finger on your lips while murmuring a small ‘shh’. “My lily, there’s absolutely no need to thank me. I just did what I had to as your partner. Is there perhaps anything else burdening you?”
You took your last sip of the calming tea before answering Zhongli’s question, teary (e/c) colored eyes looking up at him while doing so. “Not really, those were the things that were bothering me the most today.” A big breath of air was inhaled by you before requesting something kindly. Your cold fingertips slowly lingering on his cheeks before cupping them. Amber eyes gazing into yours with nothing but adoration and pure love. “When the weight of the heavens becomes too burdensome on your shoulders, will you do the honor of letting me carry it with you?”
“Definitely, my love. Do you promise to do the same?”
“I do, dear. I do.”