Work Text:
The church office was as hot and stuffy as it usually was. Rod turned on the measly fan he kept on his desk as soon as he entered the room, and promptly took a seat at his desk. He grumbled quietly to himself as he stared down at the blank paper in front of him, hoping that an idea for a sermon would just magically come to him. He knew he’d probably end up bullshitting it, since that wasn’t all that uncommon. Rhythmically tapping his pencil’s eraser on his desk, he sat back in his chair and let his mind drift off, hoping it would help. In no time, Rod is picturing himself at the church- his view of all the people of Moraltown from his lectern. There was always one person who stood out to him- Orel. He always noticed Orel and his tiring enthusiasm stretched across his face in a wide smile. He’s so innocent and full of joyful youth it’s almost, well, irritating.
“God, we get it, you’re the big guy who’s supposed to be cruel,” he mutters outloud, “but for that kids sake, keep him happy like he always is.”
Rod knew about Clay, though. It was clear as day that he wasn’t a good father. He still couldn’t understand how this kid showed up grinning every Sunday just to go back home to his sad alcoholic father and broken household. He sighed. Deep down he admired Orel’s positive outlook on life- or perhaps envied it. Rod wanted to be able to see the world the way that cheery eyed little boy did.
That’s it! Rod thought to himself, quickly scribbling out a title on the top of the page, My next sermon should be about envying and jealousy. With that, he started writing, and the warmth of the office and the coldness of his brain began to fade into the back of his mind.
The drive from the church to his house was short. Moraltown was a small town, after all. But Rod couldn’t help but sigh as his typical bleak feelings rushed back as he parked his red sport car. The sky was twilight-y, making his unlit house look more glum than ever. Opening the door merely revealed a bland and under-decorated interior. He knew his house looked flat out depressing. Maybe it’s just a projection of myself, he thought.
Without even thinking of getting dinner first, Rod walked straight to his bedroom. It was awfully blue- the walls, the bed, everything- which didn’t help with any cheery feelings. His spring mattress creaked as he sat down. His bed was like his thinking place- as well as a place for… actually lets drop that subject. He sat, hunched over, and immediately thought of Orel. How does that kid do it, goddammit! he thought to himself. How could I ever be happy like that? He makes it look so easy. I… he looked around his barren room. I have no one. I don’t have a wife or family or even a fuckin’ mistress! Rolling over on his back and scanning his surroundings again, he couldn’t help but notice the heinous amount of tissues in his heart shaped trash can before promptly shoving a pillow in his face out of pure embarrassment. And this place looks like a loser’s home! Facing the ceiling, there was a sudden silence ringing in his head. “Rod, you need to get your shit together,” he said aloud, interrupting the quiet air. His room was all too crowded with feelings but all too empty aswell, lending space for loneliness. His mouth settled into a resting frown before he clasped his hands, preparing to pray out of desperation.
The following Sunday, Rod didn’t look nearly as happy to be at church- though he never really did. The townspeople shuffled in; it always the same people week after week. Among them were the Puppingtons; Orel, of course, looking ecstatic to be there, Clay being clearly drunk, Bloberta looking fed up, and Shapey… wait, that’s not Shapey. Rod straightened his papers in front of him as the last few people sat down.
“Alright, we all know about jealousy and envying, right? That feeling that tells ya, ‘Oh, I wish I was them sooo bad’. Well big shocker, folks, thats a sin. And I get it, because sometimes you’ll look at someone and be like ‘I wish I could live happily like them and I envy them and blah blah blah,’ and its just hard,” he said as he started trailing off into quieter rambling. Snapping back to the sermon, Rod then looked up at the crowd only to be met with silence and a few confused stares. He cleared his throat and promptly raised his volume.
“Ya know sometimes you look at someone and you say ‘man, how could I not be jealous of them! Well the secret is… try not to think about it! That’s the secret to everything, right?”
No one answered, except for Orel nodding his head in agreement.
As he continued his sermon, he couldn’t help but feel the hypocrisy he was spitting every time he looked at Orel- but that’s the name of the game, isn’t it?
“That’s all i have for today, Amen, God bless,” Rod said monotonously, “everyone get out now.”
He walked out the doorway to bid farewell to the people as they left. Though, he wasn’t there to say “God bless” in that same monotonous voice to all the people; he had a different objective today. He wanted to talk to someone. After almost everyone else was gone, Orel practically skipped out the door.
”Hi Reverend Putty! I agreed with-“
”Look, kid, let me do do the talking for once,” Rod interrupted him, “Orel, why are you so happy all the time?”
Orel paused for a second. “Well, why aren’t you?” He said, before walking away gleefully, leaving Rod by the church door. He was stuck standing there in complete silence, unable to find any words. That question had hit him like a bullet to his chest, and hurt harder than dying and having to come back. Why am I not happy?